Good Afternoon and welcome to the Wednesday afternoon showing of the Evil Commentary Bureau. It's a nice and sunny day out, providing a nice bit of dramatic irony for the beginning of this Evil Commentary Bureau production. Today, we have something special for you: A tag-team work by two of the elder ECB members on a self submission. I don't expect this to happen for another Ragnarok. Today's fic is "A Dark Moon Rising" by "Ryoko Hitori Sutherland" (Otherwise known as: Tsukasa, Mayuka, Evil Anime killer, and That idiot who's shift keys are obviously broken). As I said it's a self-submission, the author having requested personally of Rezantis special attention to their work. Rezantis, being a good reviewer, came to me and requested this go straight to the top of the queue. Let it never be said that the Evil Commentary Bureau isn't happy to support our active self-submitting fans.

As always, this Evil Commentary Bureau production will be stored for the public record on the Evil Commentary Bureau site, archived with the rest of the Evil Commentary Bureau productions at http://www.pishoque.net/soulriders/. In the interest of public fairness, we allow the author of the critiqued work to return one(1) response to our reviewer. This response can be sent to the ECB mailbox at: dracos12@hotmail.com.

Therefore without further delay, I'm glad to present:
"Evil Commentary Bureau versus no im not the other ppl on my ip adress"

By ECB Founder Dracos (Hereby referred to as ECB) and ECB Member Rezantis (Hereby referred to as ECBRez)

-Writers note- im just learning how to write these type of storys and know very little about punctuation and stuff so bare with it please know I tried my best to to put it in-

ECB: Truly, one normally considers that it's not the wisest thing to submit one's work to the ECB if you are a beginning writer. It's just not that smart to do. Outside of that...there are such things as spell checkers. Not to be confused with spell checks, which is where we check our level six spell list to see if we can cast delayed blast fireball at you.

(attention readers) -Some people In this story are named after friends of mine but don't have the same personalitys- -this is also a parody and not to be taken seriously-

ECBRez: I'll say it's not to be taken seriously. This is pathetic.

ECB: Attention ECB'ers, we have unnecessary fanservice. Whee. This should be fun! I do hope we get...some entertainment out of this.

ECB: So let's see. Thus far we have horrific English, someone who can't work out a spellchecker, and best of all . . . the author's inserting their friends into the fic. What more could you want?

ECB: A frontal lobotomy?

ECBREZ: I'm tempted, and we haven't even got past the author's notes yet.

A Dark Moon Raising Part 1 by Ryoko

ECBREZ: Oh dear God, at least spell your title right, you twit.

ECB: No, No, Rez, I think she actually meant "Raising".

ECB: And outside of that, this is the best written part so far.

ECBREZ: I don't think so. I'd like to be fair, but I don't think she has the imagination to mean 'raising'.

ECBREZ: I'll give her a little credit, I could be wrong.

ECBREZ: But given what we know, I doubt it.

ECB: Now, if she can only master comma usage, she'd have a properly written title. But Rez, what's missing here?

ECBREZ: Any command of the English language? Imagination? Any hint of intelligence? That lobotomy?

ECB: I was more thinking the disclaimer. Of course, that's probably a bit much to expect from a fanfiction writer. She probably doesn't even know that Takeuchi

Naoko created Sailor Moon or that Kazuki Takahashi owns Yu-gi-oh. After all, that would've required maybe...watching the shows?

ECBREZ: No, it would have required literacy to read the credits.

ECB: Point. Moving on.

There onece was kingdom on the a beautiful kingdom ruled by a Queen Dani who had a daughter who was destined to be the next queen of this moon kingdom.

ECBREZ: Oh . . . kay.

ECBREZ: Clearly, Ryoko here hasn't bothered to proofread her fic, at all.

ECBREZ: Because even a cursory proofread couldn't have failed to miss the fact that she's forgotten to finish her first sentence.

ECBREZ: Write that down, that's got to be a record.

ECB: ~o/The spelling, the spelling, the spelling is on fire. The spelling, the spelling, the spelling is on fire. The spelling, the spelling, the spelling is on fire. We don't need no spellcheck, let the mothafucker burn. Burn motherfucker, burn./o~

ECBREZ: Oh, God, that's just wrong.

But in the darkness came a sinister force that bubbled up from the bossom of evil called the Negaverse

ECB: IT'S COUSIN IT!

ECBREZ: This is actually kinda readable, I'm surprised. And impressed. And edging away from my esteemed colleague, but that's beside the point.

ECB: Actually, I'm just playing with you Rez...That's only the first half of the sentence...Have MORE!

ruled by an evil Queen named Mai who tried to destroy the moon for the power of the moon crystal with all her strangth Queen Dani defeated Mai and sealed her away for all time.

ECB: Someone forgot a period there.

ECB: At least one.

ECBREZ: I take it back . . . and you're a bastard.

ECBREZ: Drac, I'm starting to doubt that she knows how to use those things.

ECB: Well, maybe. Maybe...who the fuck am I kidding? Of course she doesn't know how to use those things O_O. That requires getting through first grade!

but it was to late for her kingdom.

ECB: And for her fic.

ECBREZ: Alright, not doubting. This is the second period we've seen all fic, after god knows how many sentences.

She used her final bite of power to sealed her daughter and her guardians and send them to earth there she hoped they could live a normal life. but if the Negaverse raised again they would have the power to fight it.

ECBREZ: Wow. I'm in awe. What an original plotline!

ECBREZ: But it seems so strangely familiar . . .

ECB: ROSE AGAIN! ROSEBUD! ROSEBUD! ...no, I'm not really dying. I'm not really Citizen Kane. As much as I'd love to fucking be dying at this point, I have to actually hear the restatement of Sailor Moon's prologue in a childish and poorly written fashion with the names changed so maybe, by the love of Evil, I might not recognize it.

ECBREZ: I just realized I should be adding sarcasm tags here, because our target is probably a little too thick to recognize it without them. [sarcasm] Wow. And it seemed so original, too! [/sarcasm]

There are Story begins!

ECBREZ: What?

ECB: WAR WAS BEGINNING!

ECBREZ: Oh, goodie. Maybe we'll catch the author in the crossfire.

ECBREZ: AUTHOR! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!

It was a beautiful day in Tokyo every bird was awake and gliding apon the open sky.

ECB: Because, off the eastern seaboard, the American pilots were slowly homing in... That's right, it was the end of World War 2.

ECBREZ: AAAAAAAAAAH, the lack of commas aaaaaah!

Not a Cloud in the sky almost a perfect day except for the fact

ECB: That we are reading this fic.

bandit keith was flashing on coming traffic to the city mall.

ECB: And now I go: WTF? WHO THE FUCK? AND WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM? Who the hell is bandit keith and why is he not dead by car accident yet?

ECBREZ: Actually, I'm going to ask a silly question and say . . . Tokyo only has one mall?

ECBREZ: Let me explain this, author person. City. C-I-T-Y. Not inbred hick town, CITY.

ECB: Well, her Tokyo does. Come on now, let's not be too mean and poke holes in the author's pathetic grasp of reality. If she says Tokyo only has one mall, then by darn it, Tokyo only has one mall. Come on, we so know this is going to be screwed up continuity wise later. I have NO doubt about it ^_^.

ECBREZ: I just have this penchant for kicking the foundation out of these things, that's all. And she did ask for constructive criticism, remember? ^^

Tea woke up with a yawn and noticed a yellow thing sitting on her desk she rubs the sleep out of her eyes and looked again and it was gone she shrugs and thinks she must have been seeing things and then smells the fresh smell of becon and gets out of bed walks to washroom takes a shower gets dressed in her blue and white school uniform then walks into the kitchen to see Yugi making her bacon and eggs as she enters the room yugi greets her with saying good mourning Tea, Tea replys good mourning yugi, Tea asks yugi whats the accasion?'

ECBREZ: Oh . . . my . . . god, this is all one sentence?

ECB: I got this all in one shot and am gaping that it took me four lines to find an ending punctuation.

ECB: I mean, I totally could've broken that up into about FIVE SENTENCES!

ECBREZ: Well, it shouldn't be all one sentence, but it looks to be. This is fucking horrific.

ECBREZ: Alright, because I'm nice I'll try and be a little constructive.

ECBREZ: Firstly. Don't do several line sentences, they're horrible to read and incredibly bad grammatically. BREAK YOUR SENTENCES UP.

ECB: Construction Necessary: "." "." "." "." I loan you these!

ECB: Second. Remember to put in your freaking periods to end the sentence.

ECBREZ: Third. LEARN THE USAGE OF THE COMMA. The comma is USEFUL.

ECB: ALL HAIL COOOOMMA, SAAAACRED COMMMMMA!

ECBREZ: Fourth. Whenever a person talks, you use quotation marks ("Like this.") and start a new paragraph.

ECB: Oh damn, you are getting stylistic now. That's going to leave a MARK!

ECBREZ: And I don't really want to continue this, your fic is already making my eyes bleed. You sound like you're still in school, so why don't you print this and ask - gasp - your english teacher for some help?

ECBREZ: If they don't murder you (which would be perfectly understandable), they'll hopeuflly shove you into some remedial english classes that will try and reteach you the skills you should have learned before getting anywhere near the end of elementary.

ECB: NO! NOT LOGIC! Damnit, we lost her. Why'd you have to suggest something so logical as getting help for her absolutely pathetic English skills?

Yugi Replys its your birthday!

ECB: Yugi replied, "It's your birthday, special child. Very special, special child. Die Bitch."

ECBREZ: UGH. Get a fucking spellchecker. ><

Tea says whoa that's weird I forgot?

ECB: Can you say idiot protagonist?

ECBREZ: Now now, Drac, it's harder for the characters to be any smarter than the author has capacity to make them.

ECBREZ: Because I know you're going to need a translation, dear author, I'm calling you an idiot.

suddenly from the window comes the reply, its because you're a ditz Meat Ball Head!!

ECBREZ: A 'ditz meat ball head'. That's a new one.

ECB: *Sniffs* I smell bad Sailor Moon crossover ahead.

ECBREZ: If you learned to use the comma, that could almost make sense.

ECBREZ: You had one comma in that sentence, which was right, but you seem to be placing them in random positions - you NEVER get them right.

ECBREZ: And Drac, I think we smelled that right back in the intro.

ECB: Well, and that meatball-head is one word with a dash in the center.

ECBREZ: That's true, I should have mentioned that. There's just too much to keep track of.

Tea turns to see Kaiba looking in the window and goes and shuts the window.

ECB: Who the hell are these people?

ECBREZ: Who are the-thank you.

ECB: We have faceless and descriptionless blob A.

ECB: Her brother, blob B.

ECB: Random street walking person(?) C?

ECBREZ: Ah, but do you know it's her brother?

ECBREZ: You're assuming that because it's a crappy Sailor Moon crossover, but the author didn't even tell us that.

ECB: Actually, I don't. I just presumed it from them living together.

ECB: It's prolly her pet whore!

ECBREZ: Oooh. He's her bitch?

ECB: Oh yeah.

ECB: Scarily, that just made the story seem about five times more interesting.

Tea starts into a rant starting with saying oh that Kaiba pisses me off he has no reason sticking his nose in my buseness!!

ECBREZ: Whine whine whine, bitch bitch bitch.

ECBREZ: I wonder if this character is a self-insert?

ECBREZ: She's kinda acting like it.

ECBREZ: And by that, I mean she's reminding me of the author.

ECB: And next the fic will end as you tell us everything rather than show us it? Please say so!

ECBREZ: Drac, that's a little subtle. Be nice, now.

ECB: BUT I FORGOT MY NEON SIGNS AT COLLEGE! ;_;

She keeps ranting like this for a half an hour before yugi cuts in saying sheesh why do you let the guy bother you so much?

ECBREZ: Well, that was . . . subtle. Who the hell rants for half an hour straight because someone said something through a window?

ECBREZ: Wait, wait, this is the world where Tokyo has only one mall.

ECBREZ: My bad.

ECB: Yeah. Bad Rez. Bad.

Tea reply because hes a jerk!

ECB: I think I'll just let this speak for itself...

ECBREZ: I can't help but agree.

Yugi says ok?

ECBREZ: . . .

ECB: God damn it, do we have to take question marks away from you too?

ECBREZ: Can we just deny her the entire language and be done with it?

Yugi says were always late for school lets not be this time get ready.

ECB: Now, I don't know how things work in your world, but when I'm trying to be on time to school, I don't sit around for half-hour long rants.

ECBREZ: God, that's unreadable. Commas, apostrophes, quotation marks, and . . . you can't even figure out what tense you're writing in.

ECBREZ: Fuck, I bet you don't even know what a tense is.

ECB: Isn't it obvious? It's the fucking idiot tense.

ECBREZ: You have debated me to a standstill, I cannot refute your point.

Tea scarfs down her bacon in one bite

ECB: So it's bacon now? Thought she smelled becon before!

ECBREZ: It's also been sitting there for half an hour.

ECB: What next? Baiken?

ECBREZ: She's not that imaginative, even in her spelling fuckups.

while mumbling why she would have to go to school on such a great!

ECB: But she can forget her train of thought.

ECB: WHOOT WHOOT, THIS IS THE THOUGHT TRAIN! LAST CALL FOR COMMON SENSE! YOU ARE NOT ON IT!

ECBREZ: My head hurts.

ECBREZ: Another tip for you, author-person: READ YOUR FIC BEFORE POSTING IT. And don't say 'Oh, they'll figure out what this means'.

Yugi replys becauce if you skip you will fail and have to repeat the grade!

ECB: My god, what an evil city. One mall? And the school fails you if you skip once?

Tea sighs and says you have a point!

ECB: I have many points. Sharp ones. Would you like one?

ECBREZ: Of course he does. The plot demands she go to school, therefore - rather than simple COMMON SENSE - we have the stupid reason and the equally stupid acquiescence.

Tea gets her stuff and heads out the door.

ECB:I think this sentence is grammatically correct.

ECBREZ: It's close enough. This is the first proper sentence we've yet seen.

ECBREZ: Of course, who keeps their school gear in the kitchen?

ECBREZ: But forget that, let's move on.

ECB: Yeah. Here's a happy sticker for you.

ECB: Because I think this is the only positive comment I'll have all fic.

But she didn't noticed she was being watched?'

ECB: GOD DAMN IT PUT SPACES BETWEEN YOUR SENTENCES!

ECBREZ: Ugh. Why the hell do you have a question mark there - you should know!

ECB: I don't think she knows what a question mark is.

Luna thought is this the one as she watched the girl she senced the moon power from.

ECBREZ: I'm inclined to agree.

ECB: PARAGRAPHS, SWEET PARAGRAPHS! PLEASE USE THESE! I WANT MY PARAGRA~PHS!

Undenouced to them both an evil force is ploting to gather energy from the unsuspecting populus.

ECB: Nani?

ECBREZ: She's trying to use a big word - undenounced - and failing miserably. Apart from the very important point that it's not even word, I'm not even sure that this is what she's trying to get because her spelling is so bad.
ECBREZ: Misspelling a word that doesn't even exist is a low that we haven't had yet, I'm impressed.

ECB: The word she's going for is 'unknown' or 'unannounced'. This I get from being able to read, but then, such is a difficult concept to the author.

ECBREZ: Actually, a good word would be 'Unbeknownst', but I don't think she can handle that many syllables.

Queen Mai sat on her thrown looking out in the distence.

ECB: Do you really have to replace the Queen of the Negaverse with your best friend who dresses in black?

ECBREZ: Look on the bright side, at least she's not abusing the actual characters. I like some of them.

The room she was in was gloomy and dark and smelt of cabbage

ECBREZ: And here we have a failed attempt to inject some comedy.

ECBREZ: Cabbage. Hoorah.

ECB: Smelt of cabbage... I take this was intended to be funny. "Oh look, I'm a queen and I sit on my throne and gaze into the distance while smelling of CABBAGE! WHEEEEEE!"

Queen Mai thought to herself damn those curcus folk!

ECB: Curious perhaps? Curiouser and Curiouser as we go into this black hole of English.

ECBREZ: She might mean 'circus', although I don't know why.

ECBREZ: Note to you, oh idiot of an author: when we have to try and decipher what word is what, you have a problem.

Jedite appears in the room and bows slitely'

ECB: I think you intended the sentence to end there. But...you used an apostrophe.

ECB: AN APOSTROPHE!

ECBREZ: After what we've seen so far, you're surprised?

ECB: No, but I'm starting to get worried that I'm going to receive another message about being a mean man and how I should be reported to the IRCops.

ECBREZ: Maybe she'll hit the FFnet admins this time?

ECBREZ: Even better, maybe she'll complain to the boss of the ECB!

ECB: Yeah. That would be really bad. He might take away our ECB'ing licenses.

ECBREZ: Oh, please author-person, don't do that!

Jedite say my queen I have a perfect plan to gather energy'

ECB: First, we write really bad fanfiction.

ECB: Then we publish it.

ECB: Then we ask people to read it.

ECBREZ: Then we ask the ECB to read it.

ECB: And then, only then, do we reveal our really evil plan of draining their energy as they read it.

ECBQueen: BRILLIANT! LET IT BE DONE!

ECBREZ: Never fear, dear readers! WE, THE EVIL COMMENTARY BUREAU, STAND READY TO DEFEND YOU!

but before he could finish he is interrupted by Zoisite a girl dressed in gray with black hair that hid some of dark mocking smile on her face

ECB: That's not a girl, that's a man baby!

ECBRez: Or is it? O_O

ECB: And we can expect some more cheap jokes on that from the author.

ECBREZ: We wouldn't expect anything less.

ECBREZ: And we sure as hell can't expect anything more.

, Zoisite says to Jedite your too much of a twit for it to be a good plan, turns to Mai and says Mai should send me.

ECB: When did we leave the Dark Kingdom and arrive in kindergarten?

ECBREZ: "Mai: Call me 'Queen'!"

ECBREZ: Damn, I'm glad I'm not one of your friends.

ECB: As am I.

Jedite replys oh please why should we send a gender confused person like you weren't you a guy last week in fact you keep changing back and forth out of habbit.

ECB: Change gender out of habit? Really now....

ECBREZ: Hey, lay off Zoisite. It's not Zoi's fault that the author is too stupid to tell the difference.

ECB: Actually, I think it's really a bad reference to the differences between the Japanese and American versions of the show... not that the author actually understands them.

Zoisite is glaring at Jedite and is about to respend when there fight is stopped by Queen Mai

ECBQueen: CALL ME QUEEN!

ECBREZ: I already made that crack. >_>

ECBREZ: I'd kill your sorry ass for stealing my line, but then I'd have to do the rest of this fic alone. Bastard.

ECB: No, No. Kill me. Dammit...;_; I was so hoping that would work.

ECBREZ: You're not that lucky.

, Mai says why don't you too grow up!!

ECBJedite: But I am only twee years old!

ECBREZ: Again. It's hard for a character to be any smarter or more mature than the author, so you, Queen Mai, are stuck with idiots and ten year olds.

ECBREZ: Sucks to be you. Pick better friends next time. ^^

Mai then turns to Jedite and says do your plan and don't fail me ill make you genderless you know what im talking about?

ECB: That may quite possibly be the weakest threat of castration I've ever seen.

ECBREZ: I'm suspecting that the author is either at an age or has a maturity level where she doesn't actually know what component parts she'd have to remove to do that.

ECB: Hum. I'm sort of betting we are dealing with an uppity twelve year old here. What about you? 8?

ECBREZ: I neither know, nor care. All I know is that she's one stupid bitch who didn't pay attention in English class.

Jedite cringes and says yes I do but how can I fail you its not like a warrior in a blue and white dress is gonna pop out of no where to stop me!!

ECB:...

ECBREZ: OK, that most moronic example of foreshadowing I have ever seen in my life, bar none.

ECB: I think this was supposed to be funny... bu..huh? What's that?

ECBFunny: Please shoot me...I can't take anymore... mercy...

Jedite laughs and disapers leaving Queen Mai and Zoisite alone, Zoisite: says hes really tempting fate isnt he? Queen Mai nods.

ECB: The end of the giant block of text that takes up 65 percent of your first chapter! HALLALUAH!

ECBREZ: Given her chapter size, this isn't saying much.

ECB: And, correct me if I am wrong but... Is that...SCRIPT FORMAT IN A PARAGRAPH OF PROSE?

ECBREZ: I was waiting for you to notice that. ^^ Funny, and oh-so-typical.

-Meanwhile at school-

ECB: I'm formatting this for her as I just feel so utterly disgusted.

ECBREZ; That looked almost like a scene change.

ECB: I mean really, is it that hard to put the extra enter between the -Meanwhile at school- and the next scene?

ECBREZ: After the last scene change (and I use that term loosely) I didn't think she had any idea how to do one.

ECBREZ: This, while it sucks, is an attempt.

Tea is sleeping in class again!!,

ECB: That's quite a piece of punctuation. Exclamation mark. Exclamation mark. Comma.

ECB: *Whistles*

ECB: *thinks and takes an Exclamation mark*

ECB: *Hands Rez the other*

ECBREZ: So, two exclamation marks followed by a comma.

ECB: Shall we?

ECBREZ: I think we should confiscate her computer, Drac.

ECB: *SMASHES IN THE AUTHOR'S HEAD WITH THE EXCLAMATION MARK*

ECB: TEXT BEATDOWN!

ECBREZ: I'm not getting in the middle of that. >_>

ECB: Wimp.

ECBREZ: You know how hard it is to get bloodstains out of this shirt?

A black haired girl named heaven

ECB: Caps Optional.

ECBREZ: You know, that was the best character description we've had yet. A black haired girl.

taps Tea on the shoulder, Tea mubbles mommy can I sleep in longer?

ECB: Mommy, can I kill the fic author with a lead pipe? PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSE?

ECBREZ: Tea . . . mubbles? This is pathetic.

Heaven whaps Tea on the head with a roled up news paper, Tea wakes up starled saying sorry I slept in your class Miss Ayanami, Tea looks up to see her friend Heaven laughing, Tea says why did you do that for?

ECBREZ: Please tell me you don't actually talk like that.

ECB: So now she's earned caps? Lucky!

ECBREZ: Not many of them, though. Her shift key is apparently still recovering from all those question marks.

Heaven says this is important did you know that Mega Hunk of Movie Star Adam Colley is signing autographs at his private mansion, Tea says oh cool I would love to get his autograph, they both say at the same time !hes dreamy!, heaven says but its invite only, Tea replys bummer!

ECB: Is it me or does this "Heaven" Sound remarkably like a name changed Naru?

ECBREZ: And hair changed, Drac. And hair changed.

ECBREZ: What I'm wondering is why we have names like 'Tea' and 'Heaven' and 'Adam Colley' in Tokyo . . . and why the hell they have an invite only autograph signing.

ECB: Ah! And Hair changed. And what's with the American named Adam Colley in Japan with Yugi?

ECB: At a private mansion no less.

ECBREZ: There aren't' that many private mansions in Tokyo, you know.

ECB: Whatever happened to doing these things at...movie theaters where he'd make MONEY from it?

ECB: True. And even less owned by Adam Colley!

ECBREZ: Ah, but it's an INVITE ONLY signing, Drac!

ECB: I think this sounds like a clever idea. I'm going to hold an invite only signature holding at my private yacht.

ECBREZ: Invite the author, then sink it?

ECB: Yeah, exactly. How'd you guess?

Heaven says but I have an invitations, Tea Says cool we are going, Heaven replys whats says im taking you with me, Tea sighs!!

ECB: Is it just me or is the grammar getting worse?

ECBREZ: It's worse.

ECBREZ: Only slightly, but it's worse.

ECB: This...is the wave of the future

ECB: YOLISTENBITCHUPCUZTHISISHAOEwtatlk!

ECBREZ: And the problem is, I can kinda see it.

Heaven giggles then says of coarse im taking you with me you're my best friend think im that shallow, Heaven hands Tea a ticket, they both sit at attention as Miss Ayanami enters the room.

ECB: And blob D enters the room. Female blob D I presume.

ECBREZ: So basically, Tea was asleep in class, but the teacher hadn't gotten there yet.

ECBREZ: BZZZZZT, continuity error! Abort-Retry-Fail!

ECBREZ: FAIL.

At his mansion Adam Colley is taking a shower getting ready for his next scene but is unaware he is being watched.

ECB: ... You get ready for your next acting scene at your private mansion?

ECB: What, they are filming there too?

ECBREZ: Put that logic away, Drac, you'll scare the poor girl.

ECB: But without my logic, I'm only a whirlpool of death and depravity ;_;

ECBREZ: I think this author could use some death right about now.

ECB: Oh! Then I'm good to go!

a dark figure comes out of the shadow and freezes him in an ice cacoon, the half dressed girl standing over her victems frozen body , turns into a replica of Adam Colley, Jedite enters the room smiling then says good job glaceress now we move to phase 2 of our plan, the Adam replica replys and nothing will stand in our way, they both break into evil laughter, Jedite nearly chokes on a piece of gum he was chewing, the Adam replica does the Heimlich maneuver making Jedite spit up the gum, they start laughing evily again

ECB: One sentence.

ECB: That's ONE SENTENCE!

ECB: I don't want to look any further than that.

ECBREZ: Well.

ECBREZ: We have stuff happening, two different people talking, and a pathetic attempt at comedy.

ECBREZ: A really pathetic attempt at comedy

ECBREZ: That isn't the least bit amusing.

ECBFunny: *Rolls over in grave*

ECBREZ: In fact, I'm going to stop thinking about it before I hurt myself.

To be continued!!

ECB: No. Please no. Don't continue this.

ECB: It's very not funny. It's very not good. It is, in fact, doubleplusungood.

ECBREZ: And the terrifying thing is that newspeak is still better grammar than what we've been reading just now.

(Sailor moon says) Tea: somedays I feel so bummed out, Heaven: just lick a toad its safer then crack, Yugi: yeah one lick and your in flavour country and you will feel better about yourself as your swallowed up in techno colored rainbows so try it, Luna: trying is good!! Tea: Sailor Moon says see ya.

ECB: why...why...why...why...why...why...why...why...why...

ECBREZ: That was horrific.

ECBREZ: But now we know why.

ECB: She was high on poison from toads?

ECBREZ: That's what I'm thinking.

ECBREZ: At least, the 'recreational pharmaceuticals' concept goes a long way to explaining how anyone could ever consider this mindless crap even semi-presentable.

ECBREZ: Who knows, if she keeps it up she might even die. It'd certainly spare us putting up with her any longer.

ECB: Hey Rez, guess what?

ECBREZ: What, Drac?

ECB: It's the end of the fucking chapter! WHEE! Time for final remarks!

ECBREZ: Oh, God, let's get this over with.

*END ECB*

ECB: I'd like to say this was really bad and submitting it was a retarded decision. I easily give this a fail for making sense because all it comes down to is a pathetic "Me-Too" recitation of the Sailor Moon plot with your friends names in place of the real ones.

ECBREZ: Well, I have a little more to say.

ECBREZ: You, Ms Author, failed at making an original plot. You failed at making your story remotely interesting. You failed to use the English language correctly in any of your sentences except one. You failed at making your story readable, you failed at comedy, and you fucking well failed your first attempt at writing.

You don't just fail. Your two imaginary friends who appeared in IRC fail, your real friends fail for letting you throw them in here in the first place, your parents fail for being able to produce something so utterly moronic as yourself, and YOU, dear author, get an F- for the most SPECTACULAR fail it's been my displeasure to review this year!

ECBREZ: My advice to you: Listen to your English teacher next time you're in their class. And if that doesn't appeal to you, well . . . open ass, insert head. And hopefully you'll suffocate.

ECBREZ: Good night, and thank you for submitting your fic to the Evil Commentary Bureau.