[Harry Potter] My Gilded Life

[Jon]

Of course you aren't making it up.  No one could make up dumber things than Skysaber writes.

Dating his students?  Aren't they like 12 at that point?

They might be 13, depending on the time of year. I understand it's a tradition for some people.

[KIJIN]

...Wow....

I tried playing the Devil's advocate for Ornstead once, just keep a semblance of balance. And then here he goes, tipping the scales towards the side of illusionary grandeur...again.

Will wonders never cease?

[Bjorn]

Will wonders never cease?

"Wonders?"

You're new around here, aren't you?  By which I mean: you have amazingly good language skills for someone who's only half out of the womb.

Skysaber being a megalomaniac fool isn't a wonder.  Topping himself with self-deluded delusion of grandeur is not suprising.  It is a universal law of fucking nature.  Skysaber is divine recognition that we are not suffering for our sins fast enough.  The last half of Mirrors Multiplied alone was enough to catch us up all the way from the execution of Socrates through to the sack of Rome.  We should be thanking him, except he's a fucking misreable git, and when we look accusingly at the heavens and ask, "Why, O Lord, Why?" He scuffes His feet and mumbles something about insufficient time for QA.

I haven't read this monstrousity.  I don't have to.  I woke up one day and my teeth had grown and punched right through my lip and blood was streaming from every orifice in my face and the fires of a dying sun seared at my innards and I said, "Whoa hey, Skysaber is writing again."  I knew it would be worse than everything he'd ever written before.  If it was better then it would only mean he had learned cunning, that he was trying to to steal the last fragments of my dignity and self-respect by forcing me to concede that he had improved before he went on to release the next chapter with his self-insert winning the Super Saiyan Summer Smash baseball tournament by forging an entire's world worth of useless over-trained so-called "professors" and "scientists" into a monstrous cock-bat and powering it with a Tesla battery divided by zero and then handing it to his harem of a thousand wives to hold while he recited every love poem ever written by mankind by heart to teach all alien races everywhere the supremacy of love which causes them all to immediately be struck down and burn in EVERLASTING HELL for abiding by damn hippie crap instead of the true path of Warren Jeffs.

There's only one wonder about Skysaber, and let me explain that wonder away: good boots are expensive, and no one would so much as touch his ass with a shitty pair.

[Edward]

Oddly, of all the offenses listed, the Raiders of the Lost Ark one sticks out the most, followed by the Dragon Slave.

Edit: I reverse that comment. The "Fortunately for me, I'd always thought of and used a version without any pledges to darkness of any kind" bit pushed the Dragon Slave up past the Raiders.

Well, based on the update that followed this, I'd say Skysaber's worst offense is -

Falsely accusing a twelve year old boy of rape, because he's afraid of the competition.

[thepanda]

THe best thing about Bjorn's post is that his icon made me read it like DOOM.

[Ranma_007]

The Doctor is in the house! :)

[Brian]

In my heart, Bjorn IS Dr. Doom.

[KIJIN]

"Wonders?"

You're new around here, aren't you? By which I mean: you have amazingly good language skills for someone who's only half out of the womb.

Skysaber being a megalomaniac fool isn't a wonder. Topping himself with self-deluded delusion of grandeur is not suprising. It is a universal law of fucking nature. Skysaber is divine recognition that we are not suffering for our sins fast enough. The last half of Mirrors Multiplied alone was enough to catch us up all the way from the execution of Socrates through to the sack of Rome. We should be thanking him, except he's a fucking misreable git, and when we look accusingly at the heavens and ask, "Why, O Lord, Why?" He scuffes His feet and mumbles something about insufficient time for QA.

Err, I guess i better work on my sarcasm then. But despite the infrequency of my posts, I don't think I'm a newbie by any stretch of the word. I consider myself a lurker, really.

Megalomaniac stupidity might be an exaggerated description, but it somehow strikes a chord nonetheless. It wasn't obvious, at least until the essay on 'divide by zero' and the concept of the 'Tesla battery' was written. The concepts of SaberScience didn't really tweak my at interest before, but then he had to wax eloquently about the inefficiency about the educational system, and it administrative restraint on closet geniuses...well, it all well downhill REALLY fast from there...

Personally, I think Ornstead's greatest crime to humanity was inflicting us w/ his SI's. At least Carrot had the decency to keep Ranma w/ him as a balancing force >_<.

Maybe I'm trying to be a pompous devil's advocate here, but perhaps Ornstead's only sin was that of omission. Maybe he simply forgot to acknowledge Shade's characters on his disclaimers, and thus was mistaken for having attempted to take the characters as his own creation. But I did recall that the corresponding overtures to Mr. Orsntead was fairly amiable. Perhaps his temper got the best of him, and so we had the infamous 'Bro's a Big, Bad Corporate Bloodsucker' threat. Then things went downhill from there...

I remember posting this in the Mirrors Multiplied topic. I still had some faint hope in his reformation (of sorts). But, lo and behold, "My Gilded Life" springs forth. "Categorically Insane", as somebody put it once (KLSymph?). Really, separating a married couple and moving in on the mother? Does this guy have no class, even in an imaginary SI? correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he also write about knowing the workings of Rowling's mind in the creation of HP? If so, why in the world did all Pure blooded males become sexually dysfunctional deviants all of a sudden? Somebody should psychoanalyze this common trend in his fics, please. And none of that Fruedian Oedipal complexes. Gah.  :(

[Dracos]

We know ye, Kijin.  Don't get hung up on the resident Dr. Doom. =)

And I think he may have had the semblance of class at one point, but not these days.  Depends who you ask :P

Dracos

[Bjorn]

And I think he may have had the semblance of class at one point, but not these days.

To be clear, when Drac says "he" might once have had class, Drac is not referring to me.

Don't take anything I said personally.  I'm not accusing you of being a newbie or anything, I just used you as a convenient springboard into offensive dialogue.

[KIJIN]

Don't take anything I said personally. I'm not accusing you of being a newbie or anything, I just used you as a convenient springboard into offensive dialogue.

Oh, I'm not offended, far from it, in fact. Such comments only makes me feel younger than I truly am  8) .

Heh. Now, if only somebody would digest and dissect what makes Ornstead -and his SIs- tick...

[Dracos]

Again?

Dracos

[Jon]

Heh. Now, if only somebody would digest and dissect what makes Ornstead -and his SIs- tick...

Underage girls and violations of the laws of physics/mathematics.

[Jason_Miao]

Heh. Now, if only somebody would digest and dissect what makes Ornstead -and his SIs- tick...

That would be the clock on those flares that we've always wanted to attach to him.