Hey Listen, Nikkolai Gossip

[Dracos]

Oct 06 19:38:30 <Kothulhu>   Kamvakua is resting at the moment, preparing and girding his spirit. As he does this he feels a soft plink on his shoulder.  Yulia alights, going to walk up to his ear. In a whisper he can barely hear, "Hey, listen. Kam?"
Oct 06 19:39:44 *   Kamvakua opens his bright blue eyes, taking a moment briefly to return his mind to the real world.  "I'm listening, Yulia.  Are you alright?"  The past week had to have been particularly hard on the courre.
Oct 06 19:41:12 <Kothulhu>         "No," Yulia goes to sit against his head and ear, little legs curled up into her. "I can't help him, can I?"
Oct 06 19:44:53 <Kamvakua>   "I...I don't know.  I worry that I can't help him anymore either.  Still, even if he chooses a dark road, how much darker would it be if his friends refused to hear him?  Even a small kindness can be a balm upon his tired soul, even if our words don't reach him."
Oct 06 19:50:26 <Kothulhu>   Yulia's whimper is a soft little thing, "It's not fair...how come everything is like this? We go so hard, help a few people, but something worse happens to us?"
Oct 06 20:14:32 <Kamvakua>   "Because sometimes we choose the hard roads and sometimes we choose the hardest roads, and at the end of the day, our sight is limited.  We don't choose to stay absent, helping no one.  That's the easy road.  We don't do whatever we want.  That's another easy one.  You," He turned his gaze directly on Yulia. "Chose a very hard path.  A very respectable path," He nodded.  "Beset with the unknown, you choose to explore it, beset with strangers, you choose to befriend them, and surrounded by danger, you choose to endure it.  And so your vision has grown.  You see much more than another courre would see.  You understand much more than another courre would understand.  You can help those well beyond the reach of your cousins and friends.  You've become a cherished companion.  But as you climbed your mountains, you saw how very towering the world around you is, how uncaring and vicious it can be.  Steel your heart though, and continue, for while it might seem so little from your new view, to those beneath, you save the world."  He closed his eyes.  "Nikkolai, choose perhaps the hardest path, whether he knows it or not.  You are never alone in the world, no matter how strong you become, no matter what plane you live on.  Each breath you take affects others, and they too affect you.  Nikkolai denied this when he was younger, and so has brought upon himself pain.  At times I thought he learned some of this while with us, but...I think in his heart he still saw himself carrying his burdens alone.  That is always a very hard path, for when you walk to truly be alone...well, it becomes hard to hear the voices of those who care.  I don't have all the answers little one.  Indeed, with each new day I find how little I truly know."
Oct 06 20:20:25 <Kothulhu>   Yulia listens to every word, curling up into a little ball on Kamvakua's massive shoulder. "I don't mind it being hard or dangerous. That's why heroes are heroes, right? If it was easy anyone could be a hero!" Now the little courre looks down at her knees, chin resting against them. "Will he ever change then? Will he ever stop doing that? I thought I could help him, but he goes and gets himself
Oct 06 20:20:25 <Kothulhu>   way worse off than he was before! Now he's...that...ugh! That abomination!" Yulia sniffles, tears trickling out of her eyes. "If I'd learned to heal his physical damage a little faster, I could have helped him then and stopped it, but I was too late! Just a few days too late! Now, he's going to...I just don't know!"
Oct 06 20:31:21 *   Kamvakua smiles slightly at Yulia's words, though it shudders to a grim sigh afterwards.  "I...don't know.  One of the harder things to accept is you can't control others.  You can guide them, you can tell them things, you can show them the way...but a hero can't make people do things.  And even gods can't protect against everything.  Under his form, I think he was still Nikkolai.  Has he truly become the abomination she set him upon the path to becoming?  I don't think so.  But..."  Kamvakua frowned.  "I've seen eyes like that before.  She doesn't need to drag him along it.  He'll walk it of his own volition, eying her heart the entire ways, and one day we may not be able to see Nikkolai, where that now stands.  Maybe she'll be gone for good. Maybe she won't.  But to the Nikkolai we remember, it won't matter.  Hatred consumes, and sorrow usually follows it.  Rage may drive a heart, but when you see only hate, you become a puppet to it and others.  I don't think he'll hear our words...but still, we need to pull and hope that he stops walking the path while he can.  Even if we can't restore him, others might, but not if he does not want to be restored."
Oct 06 20:37:24 <Kothulhu>   "I...I wonder...maybe..." In a little voice Yulia looks up, "Maybe it could be okay if you could control them? I know it's wrong, but could it be better than all this?" Yulia wipes at her eyes, "I wish I could just GET him to listen! I wish I could get everyone to listen and do what's right!" After that Yulia listens to the rest. "I just...he's really trapped by her, isn't he? Trapped by what he feels for her?"
Oct 06 20:45:58 <Kamvakua>   "Beware that path, Yulia.  It's the path of the Tyrant.  I know what is better, and I have the strength to make you listen...and so you must listen.  The world would be a far lesser place if we didn't have the choice to go our own ways.  Don't bear the burden of making sure everyone does what's right, your shoulders are too small for it."  He gently stroked the Courre's hair.  "I think he is.  I could be wrong.  But...  If he says he wants to follow her to his doom, that isn't a road I can walk with him.  Pull him from, hopefully, but not walk with him."
Oct 06 20:47:10 <Kothulhu>   "I know..." Yulia sighs, "I know, but just for a few moments...heh, heh, heh." Yulia's smile is shaky, "I was tempted just a moment. WE have to pull him from it."
Oct 06 20:53:28 <Kamvakua>   "We want to pull him from it.  Hard.  We have to try our best to do so.  But we also have to ready ourselves that he may not want to.  To him, walking that path leads him to the power he's always coveted and the death of someone he's always hated.  He doesn't know how to let it go."
Oct 06 20:54:17 <Kothulhu>   "How can we make him do that?" Yulia murmurs quietly, "How can we convince him?"
Oct 06 21:02:35 <Kamvakua>   "I thought before that by helping him achieve his end, he would be able to put it behind him.  He was hunted, and prey have no say in whether the hunt continues.  I think...I was wrong there.  And I may be wrong again.  My eyes only see a small bit still."  Kamvakua breathed in. "We have to convince him when we finish here...to leave the Lady be.  If he wants to fight her, it will destroy him, whether he wins or loses.  He's lived his life for the vengeance, but he needs to live his life for himself first, which I think he's never done.  I don't know what words would reach him."
Oct 06 21:03:52 <Kothulhu>   "I'm worried," Yulia murmurs, "Even if he wins, he'll become just like her. She's started him on that path, hasn't she? Consumed, lifeless, hateful..." Her voice trails away, "We can do it, though! We'll make a hero out of him yet!"
Oct 06 21:06:59 <Kamvakua>   "I think so, indeed that's what worries me most.  Nikkolai doesn't need to be a hero.  He needs to be a person.  People give up sometimes.  They win some, they lose some."
Oct 06 21:09:05 <Kothulhu>   "Mmmm." Yulia's quiet, "What are you going to do then, Kam?"
Oct 06 21:13:34 <Kamvakua>   "I'll wait for now.  We can hardly be heard over her.  But later...Well, I'll talk with him."
Oct 06 21:14:01 <Kothulhu>   "Okay," Yulia says, starting to get up, "Later then...we'll help him yet!"
Oct 06 21:17:01 <Kamvakua>   "Keep your spirits up, Yulia.  Hardly do to have our brightest frowning."  He managed a mild smile.