046.4 "Josa, my friend, you hire the best wenches there are!"

[Corwin]

[20:12] <Kotono> Ah, the cold winds of the day give way to goo dfortune. You find Josa just as he's leaving Whimsical Sweets, locking the door behind him. Flying above him is Silver, who waves, "Oh hi, Janson!" she burbles, "That was quick! Did you forget something?"
[20:13] <Janson> "Nah, guy only wanted a bodyguard who could be flashy and scary, so Whurric's handling it alone. I'm a more subtle guy, y'know?" he smiles back, making an effort to mend fences with the fairy since she hasn't been particularly objectionable lately. "Since rat-hunting isn't my thing either I figured I'd lend a hand with whatever the Captain's after."
[20:24] <Kotono> "Ah, excellent!" Josa smiles now, "Let us make haste!"
[20:25] <Janson> "Lead the way," Janson allows, falling in step with the Candymancer. "Guy didn't give any clues what he was hiring for when he made the original request?"
[20:30] <Kotono> "No. He is a gifted orator, his oral skills of great magnitude! To expect him to get to the meaning immediately is a disservice to our ears and intellects!" Josa goes on.
[20:30] <Kotono> Meanwhile Silver rolls her eyes, "I don't even have the heart," she grumps, "You want to say something, Janson?"
[20:32] <Janson> "Hey, Sylvie sometimes says..." Janson begins but then thinks better of it, "Yeah, not going there either. But anyway, I don't get why people want to give us 'surprise jobs'. Surely if they give us all the details up front they can be sure of getting exactly what they need?"
[20:34] <Kotono> Josa shrugs, "I usually push for details when taking in jobs," he begins, "Oh certainly, on occasion a skilled speakder distracts me, such as Captain Hamilton. In his case I suspect it is as much our verbal fencing as any reticence, for we have worked for him before. In other cases secrecy is tantamount, more precious than gold and silver."
[20:34] <Kotono> "In other words, you're too busy ogling over how good they do oral or they don't trust you to keep secrets. Got it," Silver nods.
[20:35] <Janson> "Either way it doesn't speak well of us," Janson agrees. "You've got to learn how to play hardball with these people, Josa! Too often you let them walk all over you!"
[20:43] <Kotono> "He's right," Silver agrees as you linger outside of Whimsical Sweets, "Pretty words won't get you money. I mean, it's not like it's gotten you laid either, so why should it help you there?"
[20:44] <Kotono> Josa reddens a little bit, "My words are sufficient!" He hesitates a moment, "Truly, do you think I am too soft?"
[20:47] <Janson> "We've done a few jobs where the pay was lower than I thought the work deserved," Janson tells Josa honestly. "We're past the stage where we need to be cheap and easy to drum up business, so now more than ever we should be charging what we're worth."
[20:50] <Kotono> "Mmm." Josa considers, "Very well then, we shall renegotiate with Captain Hamilton on arrival!"
[20:52] <Janson> "Wait, what?" that draws Janson up short. "You're telling me you already agreed a price without knowing what the job was?"
[21:14] <Kotono> "Oh no," Josa says, "A turn of phrase, nothing more!"
[21:15] <Janson> "Phew!" Janson exhales in relief. "Okay, well lets get moving so we can find out exactly what's what."
[21:20] <Kotono> Captain Hamilton is found on his ship. He awaits in his quarters, a long slug of rum taken as he welcomes you in, "Ah, Whimsical fucking Sweets! Come in, come in!"
[21:21] <Janson> "Lets not change our name to that," Janson decides, nonetheless entering.
[21:22] <Kotono> "Welcome to-" A stop there, Captain Hamilton pauses, "Is that a frolicking fairy with you? A faggy little fey?"
[21:23] <Kotono> "Sure is," Silver points down at Josa, "Don't worry, he's housebroken!"
[21:23] <Kotono> Josa doesn'te ven have a chance to open his mouth before Silver goes on. With a distinctly loud clearing of his throat, "Silver is my assistant and familiar, though the vissicitudes of Tymora's whimsy."
[21:24] <Janson> "That's no ordinary fairy!" Janson suddenly interjects. "That thing's the most vile and malevolent little pixie you'll ever meet! She's got a vicious streak a mile wide!"
[21:25] <Kotono> "Really now?" Captain Hamilton grins ear to ear! With a smooth motion he draws his scimitar, pointing it at Silver! "Give me one reason not to toss you overboard and out of this sanctuary of manliness, fairy!"
[21:29] <Kotono> Silver ticks off a finger, "One, go fuck yourself. Two, I can safely say I'm more manly than at least Josa, since I've touched a woman before. Three," flying over right before the scimitar, "If you do I'll take that scimitar, cut your cock and balls off, and use them to beat you into a coma." Her voice is sugary sweet during it, "Then I'll have Josa make candy outta them."
[21:31] * Janson raises an eyebrow at Silver's hint of experimentation. Maybe this will help her one day bond with Aaeru and Neveril?
[21:34] <Kotono> Captain Hamilton stares a moment, before throwing his head back and roaring laughter. He slaps his knee as he goes to sit, "Josa, my friend, you hire the best wenches there are!"
[21:35] <Kotono> Josa clears his throat again, then exhales long, "I will take your compliment on face value. Now then," Again clearing his throat, "To our business?"
[21:37] <Kotono> "I need somethin' from the desert," Captain Hamilton begins, "I was so tied up with making sure all of you beat down that catty cocksucker Sanuth that I lost my chance at another deal! So now it has to be done the hard damn way."
[21:38] <Janson> "Well we did just kill a dragon and take its hoard, so how hard could it be," Janson shrugs innocently. "What're the specifics?" he asks while taking a seat.
[21:48] <Kotono> "It's fancy name is the Wind's Treasure. What it really is? It's a rare plant that if distilled into whiskey, makes the best damn drink this side of Dwarfhome!" Captain Hamilton raises his bottle up, "'course, the problem is that the only source that's known is in the Desert Fiefdoms, well away from any oasises. A real man won't be bothered by the tribe of giant vultures around it,
[21:48] <Kotono> either."
[21:49] <Janson> "Got a map so we can see where it is?" Janson asks, intending to factor travel time into his total quotation for the job.
[21:54] <Kotono> Sure enough he does! He takes it out and points a finger at it, at an X a ways to the northwest of Atarum Oasis. "'bout a week from there if you don't get fucked by the sandstorms," he says.
[21:54] <Kotono> Josa rubs his chin and reads, "A considerable undertaking, and one fraught with the myriad dangers of the desert."
[21:55] <Janson> "It belong to anyone already, any unique guards or hazards, or just the usual perils of the desert?" Janson asks further.
[22:02] <Kotono> "Mainly just the tribe of vultures around there," Captain Hamilton says, "But you're men, you can beat up some angry avians!"
[22:03] <Janson> "If we have to," Janson agrees, "What about this plant? How much of it do you want?"
[22:05] <Kotono> "As much as you can bleedin get!" Captain Hamilton says, "AT least one of hem!"
[22:06] <Kotono> Josa rubs his chin even more, "Mmmm, some danger and a long trip in the desert. You understand that the fee will be considerable."
[22:07] <Janson> "Two thousand four hundred gold," Janson interjects. "That's not counting travel and expenses, and it's low because you're a repeat customer."
[22:11] <Kotono> "How much will your travel and expenses cost?" Captain Hamilton fires back, as Josa nods.
[22:13] <Janson> "Four hundred for taking the portal to Arad and back, no more than thirty for supplies, plus any bribes, tolls, or customs fees we have to pay," Janson explains. "We handle our own healing and the like, and shouldn't need to pay for lodgings while we're there, so you're saving on that."
[22:14] <Kotono> "Fine," Captain Hamiltons ays, "As long as you get the fucking plant, it's good."
[22:14] <Kotono> "Indeed!" Josa says, holding his hand out, "It's wonderful to do business with you!"
[22:15] <Janson> "Expect us to take about three weeks unless we find some way to severely speed up travel," Janson offers his hand after Josa's has been shaken.
[22:19] <Kotono> Hands are shaken, the trio escaping after that! As you walk down the docks in the cool fall air, "For my personal curiosity, how did you calculate 2400 marks? 100 per day?"
[22:23] <Janson> "I assumed twenty days of travelling at our usual twenty five gold a day rate, added two thousand as a danger premium, then knocked a hundred off for being a repeat customer," Janson explains brightly, glad Josa is taking an interest. "Really the danger premiums and the loot are where we make our money at, so we've got to push those hard unless we revise the basic scale entirely... hmm,
[22:23] <Janson> that's not a bad idea. Maybe something like twenty five for a one day job, thirty on the second day, and so on like that? Even then it's still peanuts compared to where the real money's at."
[22:26] <Kotono> "Naturally, a sliding sclae," Josa says, "I confess I mostly ahve kept the introductory prices low, as ot get business where we find such loot. Captain Hamilton does seem to be quite well off, however."
[22:26] <Kotono> "Keep it cheap so you get a lotta business." Silver whistles, "So you sell yourself cheap, eh?"
[22:28] <Janson> "How much did you charge for signing your life away as a familiar, anyway?" Janson asks idly.
[22:34] <Kotono> Silver turns all her attention on J anson, smiling brightly. "Not a penny. Josa's just lucky!" She flies over to Janson, "And if you ever say that again..." She just smiles.
[22:36] <Janson> "Turnabout is fair play," Janson retorts with a big smile of his own.