Random DM nagging.

[Anastasia]

A Grand Study of Ooze

This book is a series of essays on the nature of the Para Elemental Plane of Ooze. The level of writing is crude and the author claims to be a native of the realm. He pontificates a great deal on the nature of Ooze with such sayings as:

"Ooze is all. All returns to Ooze."

"The Great Muck is the father of all Creation. All slimed from him and all shall slime back to him."

"Blorph."

While the book is often repetitive, it is one of the few in depth and knowledgeable accounts of Ooze, as few creatures wish to visit and fewer wish to stay long. The book grants a +2 circumstance bonus to Knowledge (Planes) and Knowledge (Local: Ooze) checks. Additionally, it offers knowledge of an optional material component for planar tolerance or similar spells that protect against the harmful effects of planes: By using one ounce of ooze from an ooze para elemental, you'll be better able to tolerate Ooze.

[Anastasia]

DUCKS

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

(What in the world? What is this? The entire book repeats this. Does it mean something?)

[Anastasia]

Brighter Brightwater

This book is written by a radiance quasi-elemental who calls itself Glow. It claims to be the bright spark of the brighter spark Glow, who is a bright spark of the brighter spark Glow, who is a bright spark of the brightest spark Illumen. It fancies itself a planar traveler and writes about his adventures. In this case, it chooses to write about Brightwater. It is a scathing record of the city, which it claims does not live up to its name. It is not bright enough.

Brighter Brightwater comprises of its plans to make Brightwater brighter. It recommends the creation of an additional four suns, added light sources every ten feet, buildings made of light amplifying metal and stone and opening multiple portals to Radiance. This will allow Brightwater to live up to the name and be acceptably bright for any civilized creature.

Amid all of that, there is one gem of note. It offhandedly mentions, 'For friends of Radiance, head to Glowdawn and ask to see the dawn. You will find friends there and sufficient light. Illumination can be bought and sold here.'

[Anastasia]

Apotheosis

A study of ascension past mortality and into eternity, a guide to becoming an outsider. This is quite recently relevant to Jaela and interesting, though it's largely information she already knows. Certain paths can do it (prestige classes), becoming infused with power can in some cases (templates) as can religious fervor (deific intervention). It also goes into a way for others - to go directly to a plane and attempt to obtain understanding from it, immediately achieving an apotheosis. This would all be useful...if you hadn't recently managed that.

Still, it's a well written and largely accurate guide to the process, something worthy of Aurora's library.

OOC: I don't normally go into what prompts various books to be offered, but this one was a contingency in case Jaela or someone else really stalled out on that sort of quest and didn't want to use Medi's device.

[Anastasia]

Princess Love

Oh my! OH MY! Those princesses in here aren't acting like proper princesses at all! How terribly scandalous! This is nothing but base filth meant to titillate the masses! What is Vel doing selling a book like this?! Think of the bloodlines and the lines of succession! You can't mix that many bloodlines at once, can you?! You-

Make a Will save, Jaela.

[Iron Dragoon]

Interested in the following:
Warmth: A small plush doll. When hugged to your chest, you feel warm and comfortable, like you're curled up in bed on a winter's morning. 1,000 gold.
Sandalphon's Amazing Barrage: This strange scroll is said to hold a powerful, legendary spell. However, it's been cursed shut and Filbrez just can't open it. 5,000 gold to the curious seeker who wants it.
Tonic of Purity: This tonic, once consumed, gives the imbiber immunity to non magical diseases. If consumed by a creature with the purity of body class feature, they gain immunity to magical and supernatural diseases instead. 50,000 gold.

Total of 56k. Leaves Surraruthru with 48,275 gold. Can I dictate what the doll looks like/is?

[Anastasia]

Unfortunately, Jaela beat you to the doll. The scroll and tonic are both fair game, though. You can see if she's willing to give up her claim on if you like.

Also, post purchases in loot, not nagging.

[Yuthirin]

DUCKS

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

(What in the world? What is this? The entire book repeats this. Does it mean something?)

Spoiler: ShowHide

Okay, so this is a cypher. If you learned your numbers and letters from Sesame Street and Bill Cosby like me, then the first set translates out to:

"Kmpnh!"

For those of us who learned the English alphabet from a reputable source"

"Morph!"

So the rest:

"Morph!"

"Morph now!"

"Morph now duck!"

[Nephrite]

DUCKS

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK

DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCK
DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
!

(What in the world? What is this? The entire book repeats this. Does it mean something?)

Moore has a feeling this has to be some sort of code, so he tries just replacing the number of DUCKs with the letter of the standard alphabet and gets 'Morph!' in his first reading. He has a feeling he's onto something, so he'll continue to do this for the rest of the book to translate (decrypt?) it. (He will also go use the battle preparation arch because he'd rather not fall prey to some sort of weird scheme by The Duck Father).

[Anastasia]

The code is broken and the book is revealed as the following:

Duck Tome

This book allows you to use the winged watcher spell at will, caster level 12th. Unlike the normal spell, the duration is 10 minutes/level. You take the form of a duck instead of an owl or raven, but the spell is otherwise identical. Use the owl statblock, except that the duck has a 20ft swim speed.

[Yuthirin]

Handy!

[Nephrite]

While the idea of the Duck Tome is amazing to Moore, he'll donate the book to Aurora's library since it's a rather unique spell, if nothing else, for other people to utilize (and learn?) if they'd like.

[Corwin]

<Tohsaka> roll 1d20+50 will
<Serith> Tohsaka roll for Serith < 59 > [d20=9]

[Anastasia]

It's a lie. All of it is a lie. Jaela forces her will past the salacious and tempting words to find the following hidden, obscured.

Lost Lore of the Abyss: The Decadent Queen

This series of books is written with a great deal of repetition and reinforcement. The entire writing style is highly ordered, as a preface explains this is desirable to better hold the often mutable lore of chaos.

You dare read of me, peasant? I will deign to answer your question, my little bird. Come here. Yes, come here, my little bird. My little red robin, come here. Aren't you a beautiful one? A radiant robin, waiting to find her springtime? Come here, my little robin. Yes, that's it. Good. Good.

I am the queen of every temptation and lust, the patron of royalty who seeks greater pleasures than what mere wealth and power can give them. I am the true leader of the succubi, I allow the pretender Malcanthet to rule for now. For she is my client as surely as mortals are. All my clients receive my blessings, the pleasures of flesh and beauty. Bow to me and they shall be yours. You will become a queen to rule your own court, where all will serve to grant you unthinkable pleasures.

My little red robin, imagine it. It will be yours. Soon.

[Corwin]

Not a suitable gift for Dana, then. Unless! I'm copying the non-encoded stuff to a blank book to give to Dana. I'm sure paraphrasing some stuff will make it safe and show off my literary talent!