ECB v Kapito

Dracos · July 21, 2002, 12:31:57 AM

Here the tale of the thief who didn't know not to wear an "I'm a thief" shirt can be found, a man who could not write... and thought he could. The record of those he stole from in his works. All of this found.... in the ECB zone.

<Begin ECB>
Your fic has come under the review of the Evil Commentary Bureau.
It shall be given the full impartial analysis that the ECB is famous for.

If you are interested in responding to your judgement, please e-mail
the ECB founder at: dracos12@hotmail.com

Note all of this will be publically posted, including any responses you send,
in ordinance with ECB protocal.
If you wish to see this in a web format it will be avaliable at: http://dracos.anifics.com
with the other public ECB reviews.

Now we begin the case of "Evil Commentary Bureau Versus A new writer who has no ethics"

The ECB comments will be noted through the tag usage of "ECB"

<Begin ECB>

Author notes:

Warning! First Fic!

ECB: You might as well stick a sign on your head, "HIT ME, I SUCK!", because that is what this effectively does. You are denoting to your readers that this fic is likely not worth their time.

After the first time I posted it in lady cosmos's site people keep
telling me to write some stuff to avoid certain circumstances so here
it goes:

ECB: Presuming that makes this make sense that might be a good thing. Of course the fact that you start by unofficially stealing another authors work in order to build your fanbase is really low brow. Additionally, the above sentence appears to have grammatical flaws in it. It should read: "After the first time that I posted this fic in Lady Cosmos' site, people kept telling me to rewrite certain sections to avoid inconsistencies and plot holes. So here I go."

Notice the usage of real nouns instead of ambiguous pronouns. Additional notice the comma and the capital letters used in the rewrite. Why did I do that? Because you are supposed to as most people are taught in fourth grade english.

I don't own any of the series used to create this fics, Ranma belongs
to Takahashi-sama, Sailor Moon to Takeuchi-sempai, I don't know who
owns Stargate but it isn't mine, those who hunt elves, evangelion,
gunm, Utena, escaflowne are not mine either, so don't sue me, I'm just
finished the college and I'm looking for a job, that means I'm alone
and don't have a cent to my name

ECB: Well, at least you can write something resembling a disclaimer. Though you forgot Jon in this which would be the polite and legal thing to do. Additionally, your grammar remains utterly poor.
Examples: 'used to create this fics' = used to create this fic (Singular, and fic is a slang term anyhow that is more properly replaced by story). It should then be followed by a colon
in order to denote the fact you are listing. I presume you are using Gundam, not gunm, and it should be capitalized as a proper noun. Nice job spelling your milieus indeed. It takes all of 2 minutes to find the creators and publishing rights owners of all of these series, so why with your fine researching skills and your internet were you unable to list them?
Finally, your college should rescind your diploma. You never should have been allowed to graduate high school with such wretched writing skills. The mechanics and stylistics of your writing would put a fourth grader to shame. Only the sheer volume you have produced indicates that you are not merely a child masquerading as an adult. If you don't have a cent to your name sir you should be out getting a job and not whining about it to your readers. I for one do not care what your personal problems are when I'm reading a fic. Nor do I think a plea of wretched existence is going to get you very far if anyone did decide to sue you. Beside the legal specifics of it denote that if you are indeed identifying those commercial owners you are within Fair Use. Though, I'm fairly certain your usage of Jonathan's works is not protected under this clause because he can easily show reasonable harm to his good name and story by association. And for Evil's sake, use a period at the end of a paragraph.

My only creation in this fic is Verika and Yayoi, don't know who they
are?, so read the fic!

ECB: question marks belong at the end of a sentence, not in the middle. Additionally your grammar again horrifies me with the thought that somehow you graduated college. What did you study, "How to fuck up your writing in ten easy courses"? These are three sentences made into an atrocious run on sentence that would get you an F in elementary school.

To understand better this writing I recommend first reading 'Can it
get any worse' and 'the world at war' or at least the first chapters
of each one, so you can understand most of the facts happening in the
series. For the moment dont have permission for using Jonathan's
fanfic as basic, but what the hell?! All this is just for fun, right?

ECB: In a phrase, it stopped being fun when you started writing. Worse you are damaging the reputation of excellent fic writing by association with your fic. In fanfiction we call what you are doing plagiarism. Yes, it's a slight stretch of the standard legal definition but it applies here quite nicely. Additionally it's libel to Jonathan Ford's works. You have quite the guts KNOWING JONATHAN FORD has WRITTEN YOU NICELY to ask you to cease and desist this and still continue writing it. In the words of Mookie: "NEVER BREED!" Your distinct legal knowledge and genetically impaired intelligence ought not be passed down to another generation.

The original idea of 'Can it get any worse' and 'the world at war'
series is from Jonathan Ford [dark_phoneix@hotmail.com]

ECB: How nice... It's not an Idea though. It's a fic, or a story, or as he called it a book. As such, it ought not be STOLEN FROM. You are supposed to get permission before stealing someone else's intellectual assets. And worse people would take this as him giving you permission. You wretched swine of a mold festering on the nose of a blackguard, how dare you dirty Jonathan's good name by associating it with this trash. You are worse than dirt.

You can find both fics at Lady Cosmos Library

ECB: And you continue to do this you festering pit of mucus.

http://ladycosmos.anifics.com

ECB: Hopefully you'll be banned from this site by the time this reaches you. It's people like you that are primarily responsible for the degradation of fanfiction. Who wants to write when there are thieves who will hack job it waiting right around the bend?

I'll be glad receiving ideas for how to name this fic, since mr ford
doenst want this to be posted as a continuation of his series

ECB: I have a few. "Stolen Fic'R US!", "Wretched Plot holes and Stolen Characters!", and perhaps even the vaunted "Yes, I know I'm a criminal writer." You are the answer to DP's question.
Can it Get Any Worse?
YES IT CAN!

Send comments to kapito_kun@yahoo.com flames too

ECB: Flames you'll get and complaints... as well as this ECB'ing. And let me just state on a personal note I hope you get killed with an axe within the next five minutes.

Untitled

ECB: Maybe YAUF, Yet Another Untitled fic. Man, you can write nearly 200 kilobytes of stolen fic material yet you can't come up with a title? Are you brain damaged or something?

It has been five years traveling by the multiverse looking for a
cure for my dear Amy.

ECB: This is a stupid opener, as you aren't explaining who the main character is. The grammar is wrong AGAIN! And you even miswrite Ami's name by using the American translation when you use the Japanese below!

Maybe it was five years for me but it was have been more than
ten years in my home universe. In one of my last visits to Senshi

ECB: Your first grade grammar teacher just committed suicide. Take a hint from it. "but it had been more than ten years in my home universe." Additionally, not only are you plaging John's fic, but you are doing it horribly here.

City, it took that name after they separated completely from the
amazon tribe, every former Japanese citizen, and some amazons who
sympathized with the senshis moved everything to another valley and
built a pretty large city, they hosted every person ready to rebuild
that trashed world and everyone who needed help.

ECB: What the hell is going on here. Are you trying to set a new record for failing the Make Sense school of criticism? Well YOU HAVE! FAIL! Red Marks all the way through. GRAMMAR! SPELLING! PUNCTUATION! CONTINUITY! PLOT!

STRAIGHT F's. You've gotten a new record. Never has someone failed so quickly in the make sense school. Three sentences into your fic. THREE! That's all it took. Your Darwin Award is waiting for you in the afterlife, please kill yourself now.

Everybody except the Senshi had changed now Usagi's little
brother was the main defense officer and had complete obedience of all
Usagi's pokemon. The pokemon had increased their own population almost
tree times, now there wasn't enough pokeballs to keep them all.
Fortunately I created a magical equivalent to them, now this magic
pokeballs could hold even inanimate objects as big as houses or
sometimes more.

ECB: You make me puke. This is an example of Tell school writing. And bad Tell school writing at that. Your writing and plot devices are disgraceful. This is the most blatant SI RANMA IS GOD fic I've ever encountered. And it isn't even funny! Make sure you take ALL the pills in your house tonight and leap out of the highest spot you can! I'd comment on your grammar... but you already KNOW it's wretched. This is the closest thing to a black plot hole I've encountered in years.

   As for Hotaru, she was completely cured, now she had a body
appearance of a healthy eighteen years old girl, like all the Senshi,
and like all the talented people she will not age as fast as normal
people, Usagi taught her white magic and she too got some pokemon at
the right time, every now and then I drooped to teach her everything I
could about magic, you never know when you would feel about to turn in
sand someone's blood, hehe.

ECB: Hehe...you stink. This entire thing is the most unbelievable personal monologue I've ever encountered. I'd hold it up as an example of why they shouldn't be used by amateurs except I'd have to TOUCH this wretched fic. I know you know you are stealing from DP...but can you at least have some measure of class you blackheaded germanian ass?

   Sometimes I felt she was my daughter. And treated like that, she lived in my house, it was nice having somebody waiting for you in your world, even if she is your adoptive daughter, Haruka and Michiru are still too afraid of me to even appear in my presence.

ECB: Sometimes ten years is a long time... other times it's meaningless. And when you are involved it always is. Dr. Time here, ...he's crying. PLEASE RETURN HIS CONTINUITY!

   People in amazon tribe slowly made their way to Senshi city, men
at most because there they where treated like people. Shampoo and
moose where the first, and those two convinced more than two hundred
of amazons about the new customs.

ECB: This is Cologne Calling... Please return her people from their furniture roles in your fic. And while you are at it, do attempt to personally learn the breaking point move. Your head will definitely benefit from it. I suggest trying it right now.

   That created the necessary environment for a little war between
Senshi city, I think Ranma city sounds better, and the amazon tribe,
first with only racial and social intolerance, then with physical
battles, well I must say I was sorry for the amazons, because almost
everybody in Senshi city has at least one pokemon very well trained in
combat and master in all it's attacks. After the last battle before my
arrive there only where twenty healthy amazons, and nearly a hundred
of them very hurt or dying. Cologne with a group of friendly amazons
tried to warn them about the secret attack but she was reached by an
arrow spilled with the last of the potion that almost killed Amy, but
Cologne wasn't so lucky.

ECB: You arrogant lout...you fleabitten scoundrel of a ... you are no man but a rotten worm eaten mockery of human kind. You not only steal scenes from DP's work... but you murderize them. See your keyboard...now bash your skull into it until you've managed to type this right. T..there are no words for a paragraph like this.

   It was not necessary a genius to know that the last of the
amazons would go to Saffron and tell him all the story about the
Senshi, so with Katya's help I moved everybody and everybody's
possessions, including all the medical stuff by Amy's mother request,
and pokemon, to a place I always thought could be a vacation place for
Amy, me and Hotaru, and eventually our family, even the other Senshi,
guess where? Beeeee! Wrong!, again? Wrong!

ECB: You are the most pathetic talker I've ever seen. It's 'Bzzzzzzzt' not 'BEEEEEEEE'. The commas still are misused. This is inconsistent with your own writing. This is inconsistent with your stolen background. Btw have you learned of something called a chapter break? No, it isn't when you take a book and break your skull open with it. It's where you end a complete chapter of a story. Yes, you don't have to write 200 kilobytes of crap. The ideal chapter ends at a good stopping point, usually well under 100 kilobytes.

   Ok, ok, the place is the ancient city of Atlantis. I found about
it's existence in Hong's library and went to check there two years
after Amy's tragedy. I found it almost intact, it was underwater, had
it's own farms that needed hard work, a huge city the size of Tokyo
and a forest bigger than the city itself, what else I could ask for?.
It was the perfect place for waiting the end of the war and would be
enough for all the people and pokemon live fine. Well that leaves me
only those ancient ruins in the edge of the dark side of the Moon,
that palace will be perfect after I get rid of those zombies.

ECB: Here we see two fics stolen from. The first is Worlds at War by DP. The second is Silver Dragon: Flames of Rebirth by SJiriki. This is an insult to readers and writers alike. Please, leave the gas on and light many matches.

   For me I've visited a little more than a hundred worlds, some
where very interesting and others too technological for my tastes. In
some worlds I even found other versions of myself.

ECB: I'm going to kill you. I'm supposed to do this impartially but you are plagiarizing the works of my friends and comrades. You are insulting their works and mangling their writing almost beyond recognition. You ought die... for such is the hatred people like you inflame in me.

   One of my travels took me to a estrange place ruled by magic, I
think it was the fifty second world, where a group formed by a male
martial artist, an actress, a girl with an estrange taste for weapons
and a lady elf where searching for fragments of an spell that would
send them all to their own world. As custom they tried to kill me
because of my demonic presence, specially the elf woman, but after a
serious talk and a little power demonstration they showed some respect
to me. That elf woman I think her name was Celcia was cursed to be a
panda until all the fragments where reunited, I must say she was very,
but very grateful when I gave her body back, that was a night to
remember. The next day she was too tired to continue with their trip
than I made a simple search and get spell to my shadow that reunited
all the fragments to the dinner time, I think you can imagine what
happened that night after I told the other two girls that I got all
the fragments.

ECB: A) My god, that's the worst boot scene I've ever seen. The original inventors of the boot scene technique must be turning in their graves.
B) You just tossed him into the world of "Those who hunt Elves" for no reason other than to be stupid.
C) And OUT OF CHARACTER. Reminder: The Ranma you are using is Lawful Evil. Not "I must help everyone."
D) Is for Darwin Award, get one real soon please.
E) You axed The elves' plot and made it stupid -.-
F) You fail. Badly. F is for FUCKUP!

   Another world got me to an alternate Japan where my counterpart,
yes there was a Ranma in this world, was abused almost everyday by his
father, his so called friends and that bitch Akane who called herself
to be his fiancée. I was tempted to kill him right there and finish
his suffering, but, I saw he had martial arts training and was
talented so I taught him enough for him to get out of that little hell
and live for his own.

ECB: And this is WAW Side story. You're a busy little bastard aren't you.

   There was a very interesting universe where my counterpart tried
to kill me shortly after I arrived there. I was happy because it have
been a while since I fight with somebody of such caliber. The fight
didn't lasted long, I only could learn four new martial arts
techniques and one magical spell. That Hiten Mitsuruji technique will
be very useful if I ever face Setsuna again. Then he told me
everything about that place, he was a very popular murderer and killed
a commander to take the command of a big organization created to fight
some alien creatures called angels, he had created a harem with all
the women working for him in there. What surprised me the most was
that there were Senshi too, they had a criminal organization and used
a good portion of their resources to kill him, but he was too much for
them. I left the place as soon I found he and the Setsuna of that
world where lovers, more precisely when she misunderstood me for him,
that was a good chance but, with Setsuna, I pass.

ECB: This is Midnight City, originally thought up by Tomas Megarson and later continued legitimately by Exodus on his site. FYAD! Fuck Yourself And DIE!

   The last world I visited not long ago was a strange plane where
all that existed was a huge school called Ohotori. I appeared suddenly
in the mid of a 'duel arena' thirty feet above ground I was so
surprised that I couldn't use my magic to lessen the fall, I fell over
a pink haired girl and she ended out cold, then a tan skinned girl
using a princess costume told me I had interrupted a combat and I
would have to take the other girl place. When I recovered all my
senses I found that they where sixteen years old children and the girl
I fell over was full of cuts and very hurt, and where fighting with
real swords? What was going on? This really was a very fucked up world

ECB: You are totally out of your fucking mind. Ranma 5 years after the end of CIGAW should be a fucking GOD compared to the Utena crew. He could vaporize that entire school with ease. This is a Ranma who can tear holes in reality. Not manage to fly? What are you smoking? And...my English... my poor helpless English.

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO IT! YOU SWINE! Your writing is almost criminal in its destruction of the rules of English writing.

*****

   The trip to this specific world was a bit turbulent, like I had
broken several barriers to reach this place, there is so much magic in
the environment that my head hurts, I move and check the unconscious
pink haired girl under me, she has black clothes and some strange
ornaments and a pink rose in her breast pocket, at my side is another
girl with tanned skin and a princess costume, she looks so calm that
she scares me, to the other side is a boy, I think they are the same
age, well the fact that he has a sword in his hand doesn't bother me
in the least, the fact that the pink haired girl was very wounded and
he has a smirk in his face really pisses me off.

ECB: Costume? Your descriptions are, in a word, piss-poor. Unless...
Is that you idiot inside that author costume? Come on out! We've figured you out. Man this is among the worst third person omniscient perspective pieces I've ever seen. Yes, I know, I seem to be repeating myself. Best I can do with such utterly pathetic material. The truth hurts, ya know?

   I moved the body of the unconscious girl for her to be easier to
breathe until I get her out of this place, before I pick her up from
the ground, I notice she has a strange ring in her finger that
emanates a lot of power. I was about to pick her up when the princess
costumed girl walked to me.

ECB: Yes, besides the fact that he's like an immortal god at this point and your words make no sense. Why would he even get involved? It's OOC!

   "you have interrupted and discapacitated a duelist, you must

ECB: INCAPACITATED! NOT DISCAPACITATED! DON'T MAKE UP WORDS! RED CARD, Creativity, go back in your rotten hole! And why the hell would he accept? -.- OOC, two red card.. may the burly donkey enjoy thy face.

take her place to finish the duel, the rules are simple," The princess
took the rose from the fallen girl and put it on my shirt while
talking still in a cold and monotone voice "the one who can cut the
other's rose will be the winner..." and she put an exact replica of
the other's girl ring on my finger, "you will need this to fight,
please win for Utena-sama and for me..." before she tell me anything
else I took my sword from my subspace pocket, looks like nobody cares
about it, and prepared for the battle. To my surprise the princess
started glowing and a took the sword the other girl was holding on and
absorbed the weapon, there will be time for that later. The opponent
started babbling something about dios and the end of the world while
the princess went to the side of the pink haired girl.

   I wanted to stay the least possible so I made all easy, I just
swinged my sword and a little energy blade flew in the air and sliced
at half my opponent rose. The duel had ended. Then to avoid any
complications created a small gravity spell that kept him on the
ground until I could come back to get some answers. "Don't try to move
boy, ten G is a bit too much for an untrained human body..." with that
I picked up the unconscious girl and walked to the princes, "Picture a
safe place were you two can stay for a while," then I put my hand on
her shoulder and transported us to her dorm.

ECB: Sure.... You aren't even consistent sentence to sentence. Grammar, spelling, and punctuation: I could replace myself with a broken record player and it would be right every time!

   As soon as I got there, I put the injured girl on a bed and used
a spell to put to sleep the other, of course I used a healing spell in
them first, I needed some answers and I was sure those two couldn't
give them to me, or at least not yet.

ECB: Of course I was out of character. Of course I was a godlike SI. Of course you are fucked in the ass by goats only when they can't find something less ugly to fuck. The logical extension of your thought train is it not?

   Now I reappeared in the duel arena, it was a bit estrange like
it were in other plane but in the same world, I'll see that later. I
walked to the boy, huh, the boy is really persistent, when I got there
I saw he had both arms broken and I was sure he had several fissured
ribs.

ECB: Yes, 10 G's... anyone remember that 8 G's will normally knock a man unconscious. 10 G's on an untrained body would break it apart from the force of it. Regardless of if they just sat there. It's like putting a 200-pound weight on someone's head without them being prepared... it would kill them.

   I got all my answers after three hours of small chat and a
'painful truth' spell that make the recipient fell a terrible pain if
you lie to a question, at first the boy was very stubborn to say even

ECB: ... you explain the self evident and self explanatory spell effect. Your pool, it is beckoning you to sleep in it. At the bottom.

his name. The truth about this place was those where fighting for that
'princess', Anthy was her name, she had as he told me the power to
revolutionize the world, for what? I don't know but be the first price
in a tournament is not very nice, worse for their age. Then he told me
those two had a close relationship and i deduced that Utena fighted to
protect her friend. Nice tale, I couldn't help but feel sorry for
them, I have a soft spot for this kind of situations after my father
tried to throw me into that pit of cats, I was determined to help
them.

ECB: fought... and your logic train just ran you over... and then backtracked to run you over again.

   "Thank you Touga-kun your wounds will be fine in a couple of
hours but about the spell... just say better not talk to anybody in a
few weeks" then I left the arena the long way. The place was amazing,
I was right it was in another dimension, after fifteen minutes down
the ladders I got to the main doors and got out of that place.

ECB: You fought the logic and... you won... oh my logic, poor logic!

   The sleep spell I put on Anthy and on Utena just in case could
last for a few hours so I made a more persuasive investigation about
this place, all the teachers were in the dark about the duels, and
just a little few knew about the duels, and even less participated in
them for different reasons. For the time I got back to the girls dorm
I had decided my actions, I would take them with me to my home world
to have a normal life, well as normal as it could be in a
technologically death planet but there would not be any more duels nor
challenges over Anthy, the hard part was to convince them.

ECB:... my .... what next? Ranma the Saint?! Maybe another level in Meddling Do-gooder? THIS IS A GUY WHO CONSORTS WITH DEMONS! HE"S SELFISH BEYOND MEASURE... not Mr. DO-GOODY! Your Ranma's a walking, talking discontinuity!

----

   "Who is this new duelist?" asked a member of the council

   "I don't know, he just appeared in the mid of a duel and took
Utena's place then he got a huge sword out of the thin air cut my rose
from distance in less than a second, then he tortured me to tell him
all I knew about the 'rose bride' and 'the end of the world'" answered
Touga

   "Where is he now" asked a blond girl

   "I saw him walking to Utena's room a while ago" said a bishonen
boy with blue hair, "I'm sure Utena will challenge him, he won the
duel and he is the prince now"

   "without Utena here, it would be easier the recovery of Anthy,"

   "let's go"

ECB: -.- this is stupid. That guy shouldn't be capable of moving in days...if ever again.

----

   Anthy and Utena where up when I came back, that just mean one
thing, they were talented, that was the only explanation for them to
be awake when I came back otherwise they could had slept for another
hour.

ECB: were not where... and EVERYONE IS TALENTED AREN'T THEY?! Every last person! Just like you. After all, your mom always said you were a 'special child' didn't she? I bet she still tells you that when you molest her basement walls.

   Well here goes nothing, "Do you know the truth about this
place?" I asked without even saying hello. "You know the truth about
this duels system?"

   I saw Anthy didn't react but Utena was very shaken, "Who are
you? What happened in the arena? What do you want with us?"

   Well that is a good starting, "My name is Ranma, I fell over you
by mistake after I switched realities and you fell unconscious, but
you are going to be ok, about what I want from you, I don't want
anything but I can make a good offer if you want to hear it."

   "We don't have anything to do with you!" wow she was pissed off

ECB: Two red flags... FOR BEING OOC! TV TOKYO IS ANGRY AT YOU! YOU SHIT ON ITS WORK! You've spit acid in its eyes and blinded it. Demonic furby has been in your ear too long!

   "I think you should listen him Tenjou san" Then Anthy walked to
my side, like she where my girlfriend, shit! I forgot I won the duel,
she still thinks that she is the rose bride!, I must find a way to
stop all this craziness.

   Utena paled, when saw this, and paled even more when she saw the
ring in my hand, "Why you..." she launched herself in attempt to break
my neck but stopped with one of my transparent shields. "what is
this!" she started punching my transparent wall

   "Hold on, Utena-san, there was not other way, you where
unconscious and I had to replace you, we'll fix it later I swear, I
don't want anything with Anthy, this disgust me the same as to you,
otherwise we are not allowed to fight outside the arena. Now will you
listen what I have to say?" she was very upset for the facts but she
had nothing to loose.

   "What can you say that I could find interesting..." She went to
a dresser and took out a katana.

   I walked to the coffee table and took a seat "I can take you two
far away where the duels do not exist and you can have a normal life
with your friend Anthy."

   "Eh...?"

   "As I said before, I travel between worlds, universes, time and
space looking for a pair of magic swords, I could simply transport you

ECB: As this doesn't follow from Jonathan's works or from your previous stuff, I must follow the logical conclusion that you stole this again. That's utterly pathetic. You deserve to rot in hell. My tally just went up to seven for stolen fics. I can't tell whether you got this from mixing and matching Jonathan's works: A New Life to Live and Summoning the beast or another fic I don't have memorized, but you are a bloody thief.

two with me when I leave, I have a lot of friends in my world that
could take care for you. Besides, I noted you two are talented for
magic, you can learn all about that if you come with me, in this world
the magic is restricted to this school and most of it is around your
friend Anthy, now you know why everyone want to win her in battle,"

   Utena was silent, 'A place without duels?, magic?, Other
universes?', "You must be crazy, now..." she was staring to my white
ring.

   I interrupted her, "Hold your challenge for later, I know she is
your friend and I'll gladly accept it, even that when we leave this
world all this revolutions stuff will be nothing, the magic in this
place is what make your friend act like this, I know it is incredible
but I'm saying the truth" to prove my point I became invisible and
reappeared at her side, "You see? Now what you say about my offer?"

ECB: sure... plausible plot device. Blame the Magic! It's all the magic's fault! It's not the author's that he can't write...that bigger kids picked on him as a child... that Jonathan told him no... it's the magic's fault!

   "How do i know you are telling me the truth" she was still a bit
paranoid about this business.

   "You have my word and I'll get you back if you don't like my
world"

   "Why are you doing this" Utena was very confused, a stranger was
trying to help her and her friend.

   "I had a very rough childhood too, and I don't want anybody else
to suffer for the wrong reasons."

   Utena thought about it for a few minutes and then she spoke to
me "I accept, but first..." she unsheated her katana.

   "...Ok I accept the challenge, met me in the arena in ten
minutes," that said and I transported outside the building. A little
walk to the arena would not make any harm.

ECB:... This is so transparently a cheap ploy that I feel sick. The mere rhetoric of Utena surviving a moment against Ranma in combat is stupid -.-

---

   A few minutes later a group of students arrived to Utena's dorm.

   "They are not here"

   "Utena's katana isn't either" said another council member

   "They must be at the arena"

   "Let's go, we can't let that happen, this new duelist could be
the solution for our problems!"

ECB: ... this is ludicrous. I'm skipping ahead.

(Note. For you ignorants, the legends say the succubus are female
vampire like demons that appear in the night in the form of the most
desired woman of any man and they eat their souls after having
passionate sex. Oh please! It's just a legend! Stop that!)

ECB: ... you are an idiot. Please, my European mythology is weeping in a corner from being used by you. And you stole Ammadeau's character. Nice job that!

ECB: I give up. I can subject myself to no more of this shit you call writing.
This isn't the worst fic I've ever read. But it is fully deserving of contempt.
I hope you print a thousand copies of this up.... and bury yourself in it.

The ECB judges you guilty of multiple counts of wretched grammar, bad spelling, poor punctuation, plagiarism, plot holes, and likely other stuff I've wiped from my memory.

Your grade swine, by the Make Sense elite school of criticism:

F. You Failed. Now get this shit off the Internet and never write again.
<End ECB>

Fearless Leader
"Don't fear the reaper... he only gets you if I miss."

DP · July 21, 2002, 01:33:48 AM

My hero...

I'm still in pain from laughing so hard, and my head is killing me. But it's all worth it to see justice done.

Soulriders 5.0: Legend of the Unending Games

News:

ECB v Kapito

Dracos

DP