[Haruhi] K:BDH chapter 51

[Brian]

Updated with numerous fixes.  Apologies; I've spent much of the last week distracted by a youkai.  (Long story.) :)

[Specular]

Moments like this make me appreciate the colorfulness of programs like meld.

First things first. About the current revision of the chapter:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Just before Sakanaka and Yanagimoto drew close enough to greet their friend, they paused, realizing the rest of her club was around her, making their farewells. Neither felt the need to intrude, so changed their shoes, also unintentionally eavsedropping.

eavsedropping → eavesdropping

Yanagimoto made a face at that, and then they were at the entrance to Sakanaka's favorite karaoke parlor; she said nothing while the singer excused herself from the group to approach the attendent and arrange for a room.

attendent → attendant

Sakanaka couldn't help but feel embarassed at the sound of one particularly enthusiastic and slightly off-key singer, until they stepped inside their room.

embarassed → embarrassed

"A...and me from that scary person," Kanae added, thinking of the boy with the knife – but also the time she fainted on the beach when the other slider had appeared.

This line seems to have survived the PoV's transition.

"Tending the Flame" –[The author's name has been scratched out here]

Something I didn't notice before. In the epigraph, the quote's source slightly differs from the one in Chapter 44:

"Tending the Flame" -- [The author's name has been charred from the document]

About other things:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Basically, while it's cool, I think too many people would trip over it and it'd be an unintentional and also massive red herring.

I have to agree.

I think with as much hair as she's got, she needs twintails at the very least -- but they'd be pretty epic~!

Kuyou with twin tails? For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is that Black★Rock Shooter character that frecuently appeared when I looked for pictures related to the "Arm Cannon" trope.

By the way, why is the chapter named "Bait and Switch"? Because of the epigraph?

...

Hope that explains things. :p

I didn't know much of that. Thanks for the info.

Great; I don't want the Brigade's abilities to separate them from humanity -- then they become difficult to sympathize with.  How they relate to normal people is important, I think, and it's also important to show Haruhi's ability to genuinely connect with normal people -- and call them friends.

I wonder how Kyon would react if he learns about how Haruhi went out of her way to reassure (and indirectly protect) two casual friends like Sakanaka and Yanagimoto, especially considering how it deviates from her known worldview from just a few months ago. Although I suspect he will wonder why the two of them are giving him weird looks.


Two things I forgot to ask in my last post:
Did Yuki learn how to generate the "occlusion field" from Kuyou? On this note, I could help but chuckle when I compared it to the S.E.P. field.

It's just me or Yuki is still hiding her injured hand from Kyon?

[Brian]

Moments like this make me appreciate the colorfulness of programs like meld.

Indeed; diff GUIs are pretty handy.  Personally, I find it's tedious to go through the same fic again and again as revisions are posted -- so I appreciate the effort, and approve of the tool use. :p

Spoiler: ShowHide

Just before Sakanaka and Yanagimoto drew close enough to greet their friend, they paused, realizing the rest of her club was around her, making their farewells. Neither felt the need to intrude, so changed their shoes, also unintentionally eavsedropping.

eavsedropping ? eavesdropping

Bleeah.  I've been terrible about forgetting to spellcheck lately. >_<

...and horrible about spelling in general. :\

If I don't comment it's because I used the correction.

"A...and me from that scary person," Kanae added, thinking of the boy with the knife – but also the time she fainted on the beach when the other slider had appeared.

This line seems to have survived the PoV's transition.

Oops--  Fixed. :x

"A...and me from that scary person," Kanae added, shivering at the memory -- then relaxing and beaming what Sakanaka had to admit was an adorable smile when Haruhi put an arm around her and gave the first-year girl a comforting hug.

Something I didn't notice before. In the epigraph, the quote's source slightly differs from the one in Chapter 44:

Intentional.

About other things:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Kuyou with twin tails? For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is that Black?Rock Shooter character that frecuently appeared when I looked for pictures related to the "Arm Cannon" trope.

I'll have to look into that. :p

I didn't know much of that. Thanks for the info.

I have the weirdest idea that some con-man (con-men?) have edited the con out of wiki/tvtropes so people are less wary about it....  Really -- the fact that the con itself is not on wiki, considering how old it is, kind of weirds me out.

I wonder how Kyon would react if he learns about how Haruhi went out of her way to reassure (and indirectly protect) two casual friends like Sakanaka and Yanagimoto, especially considering how it deviates from her known worldview from just a few months ago. Although I suspect he will wonder why the two of them are giving him weird looks.

Kyon: "Ha...Haruhi--  That's ... really amazing.  I'm not sure how to react!"
Haruhi: "Eh, erm...."  *sucks at recieving praise* "W...well...."  *blushes, bows her head slightly -- is about to go into Tsundere-mode when:*
Nagato: "Suzumiya Haruhi wants a hug."
Kyon: "That, I can do!" *inexplicably finds Yuki manages to get in the middle when he hugs Haruhi* "...works for me."
Haruhi: "No complaints here! :D"

Two things I forgot to ask in my last post:
Did Yuki learn how to generate the "occlusion field" from Kuyou? On this note, I could help but chuckle when I compared it to the S.E.P. field.

Yep!  And the S.E.P. field does tend to make your waiter ignore you if you don't adjust the control level, yeah.

It's just me or Yuki is still hiding her injured hand from Kyon?

Hm.  Hadn't actually thought about that.  It's mostly healed, but that makes an interesting observation.

As always -- thanks greatly for the feedback. :)

[JonBob]

Thoughts and findings:

Spoiler: ShowHide

"She's got a point, you know! You've listened to me and agreed to keep our secret; shouldn't I be doing something in return for you? We are friends ... right?" Kanae wasn't certain, but she thought she caught the slightest hint of apprehension in Haruhi's questioning tone.

Isn't this supposed to be from Sakanaka's PoV?

As for my impressions of the chapter itself, the sections involving Haruhi and Kanae seems to fit. Like, if you want everyone in the harem to be close to each other, why not also have "official" relationships between the other members.

As for the date between Kyon, Yuki, and Kuyou, it seemed relatively plain, except Kyon really seems to accept Kuyou's interest a lot more readily than I'd expect. Perhaps I haven't gotten/remembered enough of his thoughts on her for it to be more natural. Also, Ryouko for the lols.

[Brian]

Aha--  Thanks for that catch. :)

"She's got a point, you know!  You've listened to me and agreed to keep our secret; shouldn't I be doing something in return for you?  We _are_ friends ... right?"  Sakanaka was surprised to hear the uncertainty from Haruhi's voice -- she'd wanted to be friends with Haruhi for quite some time, and even though she had been a bit antagonistic at first, Yanagimoto clearly did, too.

[Taper]

Very brief notes --

Spoiler: ShowHide

Another PoV change missed:

Kanae felt her face redden, and managed to shakily say, "I-- I wish I could have helped, somehow...."

I'm not sure that Sakanaka has the right degree of being confused (when faced with both the harem reveal and the girl-flirting), but this may be colored by reading both revisions.  I like that Yanagimoto has tumbled to the precise current extent of the harem, while Sakanaka is still bewildered as to how many people are in on it. 

Elsewise -- well, the adorable is strong with this one, particularly with Kanae and Kuyou.  And Asakura's interpolation on Yuki's date-speak!

"Oh! And she thinks you're cute when you're flustered!" Ryouko added.

I about fell over from that one.

Keep up the good work!

[Brian]

Ah -- okay, I think that's the last of those.  Thanks for spotting it. :)