[Haruhi] K:BDH chapter 59

[Brian]

I'll let it sink a bit before giving overall impressions.

No problem on that count.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Kyouko wasn't about to stop following Koizumi or Sasaki, if she could help it, so dried the dishes.

Awkward phrasing.

Yeah.  How about:

Kyouko wasn't still following Koizumi -- or possibly Sasaki -- so dried the dishes rather than just lurk about.

they didn't seem to believe that she was a magical girl, too.

Does the "too" need a comma before it?

I think it does?  I'm not entirely sure.  But I can drop the word entirely, anyway, so I'll just do that.

"I will protect Kyon-kun from cooties,"

Ahahaha

How little does he know....

Somehow, you looked like an Azusa-chan to me!"

Should that be "Yoko-chan"?

D'oh!  Yes, it should. :p

Kyon couldn't help but notice how the aunts had monopolized the surplus of playmates for the cousins, and had retreated

Single thought so no comma?

Reworded:

Kyon couldn't help but notice how the aunts had monopolized the surplus of playmates for the cousins.  Once the children were distracted, his aunts retreated to another room to play games of their own with his uncles.

Most of it centered around the series of books that Rena had read

Read or written?

Rena: "I've read them, too!"

Written. <_<

and in only a single trip, Haruhi had levitated the entire load was set in the kitchen.

Last part is a bit awkward.

but it wasn't not like Haruhi was being really selfish or hurting anyone

Wasn't not?

Fixed those.

as he let himself fall back on the couch, the girls positioning themselves on either side of them.

Them or him?

Him.

"I'm glad," she said whispered.

Double verb.

Oops!

Alright -- thanks for catching those. :)

[Bezzerker]

Hey Brian, I saw on the front page of your site that Chapter 59 was posted, but I don't see a link for it in the chapter list, just to let you know.

[Brian]

Try holding shift and hitting reload.

[Bezzerker]

Huh, I didn't know that trick. Thank you Brian, I can see the chapter now.

[Specular]

Minor observation:

Spoiler: ShowHide

And why did Mikuru think that Kyon would want a picture of Sasaki in that outfit anyway?

"picture of Sasaki" sounds weird in Sasaki's narration.

[Brian]

But less awkward than "picture of her", since the last 'her' is Mikuru.

[eternaleye]

Perhaps just "a picture like that"?

[Specular]

I have a question about a previous chapter:

Spoiler: ShowHide

In kbdh22 (first scene), just after they returned from the trip to Hinamizawa, Kyon has one of those multi-leveled conversations with his father, which he construed as Yuuto asking about his affiliation to the Tsuruya-gumi. The thing is I'm not entirely sure what Yuuto understood from the exchange.

On one hand it looks like Kyon assured his father that he was completely serious about Tsuruya, that he was willing to be by her side even if that means to be nothing more than her subordinated. On the other hand, Kyon bringing up Keiichi and Mion to the conversation probably made Yuuto think that Kyon was talking about pursuing a polyamorous relationship like theirs with Tsuruya and someone else.

Which of these interpretations, if any, is the right one?

[Brian]

Eternaleye: That might work.

Specular:

Spoiler: ShowHide

The implications there are that while Yuuto's happy, he didn't really have much of a choice in who he married after a certain person ... stepped onto the stage.  He's really impressed/pleased that Kyon is so (seemingly) perfectly confident he'd want to stand by Tsuruya.

[Specular]

I see. Thanks for the prompt reply.