The Great Druid Hunt (Jaela)

[Corwin]

"I did die for a bit," Jaela reminisces. "I was a mess at the time, but I did have one desire before all. Getting back and fulfilling the mission." She peers at Mirajane. "You don't think my attachment to the Crusade is holding me back, do you?"

[Anastasia]

Mirajane joins the two of you and sits down nearby. She rests her spear right besides her, ready to be taken. "It gave you unfinished business and drew you back. In a sense, yes, but it isn't a bad thing. When you do pass, you know that your soul goes to the plane or deity you serve. Still, the Crusade was more important than going there to you. You were able to choose to return to us. That choice put that above the nature of your soul and the choice your life had made, Mother."

"So what, Aurora's less important than the great hereafter?" Mirima asks, a bit scathingly.

"Mmm, yes and no." Mirajane says, "It's good that Mother returned. Mother, what do you remember about dying?"

[Corwin]

"Uh. Walking listlessly like a zombie? Not sure about the context, but it felt like that. I don't really feel like I reached here." Jaela tilts her head. "Unless you mean the actual dying. I went pretty hard against a Nessian, and I'm pretty sure I saved Mom by jumping in so I was pretty happy with that. Also, it was an incredibly painful death. Don't recommend it to anyone not Dana."

[Anastasia]

Mirima buries a laugh into her hand, "Charming image."

"You didn't make it far. The Well of Souls and not far into it." Mirajane says, "Do you remember anything but the pain when you were dying? Any sense of disconnection, of being drawn somewhere?"

[Corwin]

Jaela tries to force herself to remember but ends up shaking her head with a frown. "I can't shake the feeling that maybe there was something, but I don't remember it. Maybe it's faded, or maybe I'm repressing it. I don't know, can you try to guide me? Maybe through a meditation? I'm good at those, at least."

[Anastasia]

"Let's try that," Mirajane agrees right away. "Not everyone remembers. Few remember everything." She scoots around to sit right opposite you, taking your hands. "Close your eyes, relax and meditate."

[Corwin]

It was her suggestion and Jaela doesn't need to be told twice, happy that it had merit. It's almost second nature for her by now, and being in Arvandor while her mind is clear only makes it all that much easier.

[Anastasia]

Wisdom check, +2 bonus.

[Corwin]

[21:31] <@Annerose> roll 1d20+11
[21:31] <Rei-chan> Annerose rolled : 1d20+11 --> [ 1d20=14 ]{25}

[Anastasia]

You drift in your memories. Memories of Hanna are what comes first. Training with her, talking with her, arguments. Battles together, facing down the devils and worse. Meeting her for the first time. Around and around they go - a flash. The Nessian's booming voice that speaks with the terrifying majesty of Hell. The pain as your body is torn asunder, so much pain. Hanna calling your name (or was it your imagination?). You aren't sure.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Peace.

You made it. Lost amid all the pain, you remember it clearly now. A sense of acceptance and understanding, a knowledge that your time was done. Your body grows numb and light, falling away like a tattered dress. You float above it all, serene and uncaring. You can feel and remember the choices you made, every word and benediction you spoke to glorify the Triune. Your worries were gone, your cares put aside. In those moments as you dimly saw the battle with the Nessian continue over your broken body, you knew true and absolute peace. 

[Corwin]

Jaela follows that feeling. Peace. It hadn't been anywhere near her original suspicions, but it makes a strange sort of sense. Whenever she felt sorry for herself, she'd just find ways to disturb it. Then shouldn't she try to go the other way for a change?

[Anastasia]

Peace.

You are complete.

You lose yourself in that feeling...lost to all and yet...

Wisdom check, +2 again.

[Corwin]

[22:06] <@Annerose> roll 1d20+11
[22:06] <Rei-chan> Annerose rolled : 1d20+11 --> [ 1d20=14 ]{25}

[Anastasia]

You understand. Peace is accepting your life. More than that, it's understanding the point of it. The point was to make a choice, and in that moment you understand you have chosen the Triune. In a way that defies other understanding, an absolute and steely knowledge.

If mortal life is to make a choice and you have made your choice, why are you mortal?

[Corwin]

It's true to the point where even if she had been in the habit of lying to herself, Jaela would accept this conclusion. Her road must have been a strange one, but she'd made that choice, alright, at every point that mattered. She had been asking the wrong question, Jaela realizes, but now the right one presents itself before her and to it, she honestly answers that there is no reason to remain such.