The duty to live

[Ebiris]

Alicia feels somewhat embarrassed now too. "Still you must have learned a lot in that order and... you did have adventures, didn't you?" her voice lowers, hopeful and yet concerned Ranbar is going to admit to a lack of action packed life experience.

[Anastasia]

"Yes," Ranbar confirms, "I wasn't idle."

Well, that's something at least.

Meanwhile, "Saint Alicia herself crusaded against the lizards," Clara argues, "That's why we have to go down there and destroy this hive of them. Plus there's treasure in that old ruin, I just know it! A few protections against electricity will do it, they're just shocker lizards."

[Ebiris]

A good resist energy spell does rather negate the threat of shocker lizards, so long as they take precautions they'll be fine.

She wouldn't say she ever 'crusaded' per se.

"Then at a simple level, you know what it's like to hold another's life in your hands?" she asks Ranbar. "Those you protect, those you judge, those you kill."

[Anastasia]

"I do," Ranbar says, "But...is it really the same thing?"

[Ebiris]

"The scale's completely different, I'm just trying to work on some past experience you have that can help you contextualise it and not feel quite so overwhelmed," Alicia answers. "Ultimately you have to find your own Answer." Then she smiles and cocks her head, "I put extra emphasis on Answer there because that's much of a deity's role in Creation. The Incarnations created Creation to find an Answer and deities are important to that, but also we have to be the answer to our worshipper's prayers.

"You were a priestess of Seira, but you can't be that anymore. You can't rely on her Answer, even if hers might be similar to your own. Just as I had to stop being a paladin of Mystra and learn what I represented when not acting under her aegis."

[Anastasia]

"How did you do that?" Ranbar asks, "I've lived and breathed Seira for so long that it's hard to be Ranbar."

[Ebiris]

"I'll admit, it's easier for me. The stereotypical Mystran is a clever wizard, not a righteous knight," Alicia admits. She takes a breath, all the warning the others are going to get before she begins to lecture, "But lets look at domains first? As a cleric you should be intimately familiar with the concept. Obviously Mystra and I share the Good and Magic domains. I love magic, it's what drew me to Mystra to begin with. But when I began I took on the domains for Law, because I'm a fundamentally ordered person, and War, because more than anything else that's the use I put my magic to, in conjunction with my skill at arms. So as a new goddess that was my core answer - Mystra can have those who love magic for its own sake, I'll take those who use it practically to do battle.

"I took on additional domains as I grew, ones that draw meaning from my adventures. Purification - just look at Antenora. I don't just fight the wicked with sword and spell, I purify and cleanse, I make things and people better and oppose that which would corrupt or stain them. Then Liberation. What was my greatest adventure and mark upon the planes? Most will point to freeing the children of Androlynne. Many of my quests and adventures revolved around freeing people from captivity and terror - that's how I first met Latha in fact," she gestures to the nearby radiant deity. "And most recently I took on Creation. Not just because I've always encouraged creative pursuits in my followers lest they become monomaniacal warriors bereft of additional meaning in their lives, but for Creation itself and this most important quest we're all embarked upon together, to heighten my opposition to Shar, and to make myself represent more than just well-intentioned destruction."

After all that she takes a bite into her mango-alike, making a satisfied noise and wiping the back of her hand over her chin. "Forgive me for droning on like that, it's not that I like to talk about myself you see, but I hope seeing the examples and thought processes that direct my divinity and faith will help you find inspiration from your own beliefs and history. You're not just a priestess of Seira, you're Ranbar and it's up to you to distil the meaning of that into something people can look up to and call divine."

[Anastasia]

"We're the fortunate ones," Latha speaks up, "We've had decades to ponder this question. Not to the full end of apotheosis, but still our roles here demand that we define ourselves. You've been plunged in, you and those of the other groups."

"That is an arrow to the heart of it," Ranbar concurs as she looks at a slice of fruit in her hand, contemplative. "I never wanted to spread my own word, I wanted to spread Seira's. So now what do I do? You've defined yourself so well, Alicia."

[Ebiris]

"This may be difficult to hear, but you're going to have to find those small differences you have with Seira and dig into them. Not to oppose her but simply because you need to stand out as a unique existence with a message of your own. I'm certain it will complement Seira's, but it has to be its own thing. If you struggle with this, if self-reflection is difficult, it could be worth hearing what others have to say. Ask your long time friends how they see you, see if that brings greater clarity?" she suggests. Then an uncommonly sly look appears on her features, Alicia leaning forward in her seat.

"Do you want to hear a secret?" she asks, tone pitched more playfully. "Seira won't like me telling you this, but she owes me right now so it's only fair. Back when we lived in Balmuria, Seira would sometimes disguise herself and then go around the taverns and marketplaces so she could ask people 'what do you think about Seira?'" she leans back now with a satisfied look. "Perhaps you could do something like that in places where you're known, to hear an unfiltered opinion?"

[Anastasia]

Ranbar leans forward and matches your posture. "Oh!" A smile appears on her face, "That is an idea. So tell me - what do you think about Seira and what do you think about Ranbar?"

With a hint of a smile on her face, "My name is a derivative of Lathander's, and yet Seira's still more like Lathander than I am. Recent events highlight this, but in heart and soul they're very similar. They both have a strong view of what is right and how to make tomorrow brighter, and they'll go for it relentlessly. They genuinely care."

Jessica munches on a few berries before, "I've known Seira a long time. She's defined by that as much as her blind spots, but more than even that, she never stops. She'll try and try and try, and some of her greatest successes are succeeding when she had no business to. We've used what we've been given in our task well and Seira is no exception."

"She's like a star in the night that burns brighter than any others." Ranbar replies after all of that, "Sometimes I feel like I'm overwhelmed by her energy and her passions."

"You're more of a moth drawn to the fire than the fire," Jessica agrees, "I suppose it's the same in how Seira drew Amaryl to her. You're not as reserved as Amaryl is by nature, but compared to Seira, it's hard to notice your own light. Compared to my sister I have the same problem - but I am the shadow, not the fire. Do you understand?"

[Ebiris]

Alicia helps herself to more fruit while the others talk, picking up after Jessica concludes. "Seira's someone who's never satisfied," she finally gives her own perspective on her long-time friend. "She never accepts things as 'just how they are' and always looks to innovate and revolutionise according to how she thinks they should be. Ranbar I don't know well enough yet to form an opinion, but... you said before you've lived and breathed Seira so long that it's hard to be Ranbar. Listening to how we talk about Seira, do you feel like we could also be talking about you?" she asks, inverting the exercise of Ranbar finding her own identity by instead seeing where she feels a mismatch with Seira's own.

[Anastasia]

Ranbar's thoughtful for a time after that, no immediate reply.

"Not every follower is a perfect fit," Jessica points out, "Find out where you aren't a perfect fit for Seira and grow from there."

[Ebiris]

Alicia lets Ranbar think, munching on fruit and enjoying a moment of relative peace.

[Anastasia]

As she does?

'I'm surprised Ranbar's the only one that's struggled with it, or perhaps she's the only one who's gone to such lengths as to consult others about it.' Latha sends. 'Or perhaps we all chose well and Zaphkiel has adequately prepared us.'

[Ebiris]

'Others may have their own private struggles,' she thinks back to Latha. 'It's nice to be relied upon, though.'