Paranoia Episode II: The Clone Bores

[Halbarad]

"What happened to him?" Hal says, setting down his Big Frickin' Gun to check out the damaged robot.

[Irius]

After the mass of clones had finished grabbing their pills, Burg looked mournfully at his now almost empty bottle of happy.  However, realising that soon he'd be the cause of his own negativity suckhole, he quickly took action.  Namely, he reached deep into his jar and pulled out a couple of pills, which he sucked down eagrely.

Soon, he realised that Friend Computer knew the importance of avoiding undue negativity, and in a happy, happy frame of mind, he set about testing the blue substance on a nearby patch of floor, to see what it did to metal before he tried anything more...  permanent.

[Irius]

As the clones started to go back to their business, Burg looked mournfully at his now mostly empty bottle of pills.  At this rate, soon they'd be out of instant happy.  Realising that this thought was threatening to make him a suckhole of negativity, Burg scraped deep into the bottle and flipped a pill down his gullet before slumping to the ground.

Soon enough, the pill worked its happy magic, and he knew for a fact that Friend Computer, a wise and great sage in the field of knowing that folks need to be happy, and therefore, Friend Computer would know his plight, and have a new bottle of pills at the ready when he needed it.

That dialemma solved, Burg's grin lit up and he went off in search of some scrap metal to test his vial of blue stuff to ensure it wasn't too corrosive for further testing.

[Trunkyboy]

Ded stomps around pouting, as he didn't get to shoot any commies.  He wasn't able to try out his nifty new laser gun!  At Hal's question he turns.  A suprised look comes over his face as he sees the mutilated robot.  

"Scrubby!  What happened!?"  Ded rushes over to the robot and starts to frantically inspect it.

[Zenthor]

John glanced that the note briefly, a look of disgust passing his face.  He pocketed the letter.  "Hmph.  Can't let this Pinko-Commie propaganda pollute the complex any longer.  Best keep it contained."

He then turned to his cohorts gathered around Scrubby and joined them.  "Wow.  Can you fix it, Hal?  You are our equipment guy.  You should be able to do it."

[Halbarad]

"I canna do it, Captain - I need more time!" Hal mutters. "I might, but we'd need to get him back to someplace with parts and tools - I don't think I can fix him HERE."

[Captain K.]

As Hal ponders the situation, Ded continues to inspect the robot.  His inspection however seems to be doing more damage!  He plucks out several wires.  Scrubby moans, "no... stop... no more..."

At that point, Scrubby explodes.  As everyone was gathered around the bot, you all take damage.  Everyone is painfully maimed by the shrapnel.  But hey, you're not dead!

[Irius]

"This is most unfortunatly bogus," Burg said as he started to pick little bits of Scrubby out of his uniform, hair, and fleshy bits.  As he did this, he popped another Happy Tyme Fun Pill and stuck the jar out where all could have some if they wanted.

As he was doing this, he took a quick look at his gun to make sure it looked like it still ought to be working, and then concentrated as hard as he could down where Scrubby was to see if he could possibly see or hear something the others couldn't.

[Trunkyboy]

The pain of having little robot bits embedded into his flesh has caused Ded's face to have a grin-like grimace, although more happy than grimace.  Perhaps he is glad that he is alive and still able to serve Friend Computer.  As he soon as he gets patched up.  Yeah.

"Medic!"

[Captain K.]

Hmm, the Computer really shouldn't supply you with a medic since you take such poor care of its property.  But Friend Computer is a most generous ruler...

A large bot with iron claws rolls into the room.  "Hello.  I am Ah-nuld bot 2000.  I am here to provide medical assistance."  The bot rolls up to Ded and grabs him between the legs.  As Ded's face wrinkles up in agony, Ah-nuld says, "Turn your head and cough, girly-clone.  My analysis indicates that you have chunks of metal imbedded in your flesh.  Be still while I remove them."

Ah-nuld grabs Ded around the neck with one claw to keep him from moving, then proceeds to remove the shards of Scrubby from Ded's skin with his other claw.  Unfortunately, Ah-nuld's claws are so huge that he removes large chunks of Ded's skin and some vital organs as well.

After finishing, Ah-nuld tosses Ded's lifeless corpse to the floor and turns to face the rest of you.  "Does anyone else require medical assistance?"

[Zenthor]

(EDIT:  OOC note, I didn't see Captain K's post when I posted this.  Why?  Because I'm a bloody idiot.)

John winced as the shrapnel swiped across his face.  As bad as it felt, it looked much worse for his cohorts who had been closer than he.  

"You should all return stay here and get patched up. Or return to base.  Whichever.  I'm fine.  I will remain here to destroy any remaining propaganda and kill any communists still lingering around.  I'm the team leader, I should be the one to do this dangerous cleanup work.  'Sides, I'm less injured than any of you are, so I need the medical attention less."

A thoughtful look crossed John's face a for a moment.  More than likely thinking how dangerous running into a group of commies would be if he didn't have backup.  So, he added, "However, if one of you feels well enough to help me, I would not be adverse.  But only one of you; the other two should go seek medical attention."

[Halbarad]

"He's dead, Jim," Hal says briefly before passing out from the sheer pain. While unconsciousness does have the unfortunate side effect of making him less able to help Friend Computer, it DOES at least take away some of the unfortunate side effects of being the closest one to an exploding robot - namely, agonizing pain.

[Irius]

Having been somewhat farther away, looking for some scrap medal to test his vial of acid (which seemed to have miraculously not been hit), Burg soon finishes pulling out the important scraps of metal and lets the healbot know that Friend Computer needn't worry about him just yet.

Then Burg went over to the team leader.

"Well Friend John, much as ah'd like to stay and help shoot commies, it seems Friend Ded is, well... dead.  And Friend Hal is outta comish for a little while.  So, I'll just take Friend Hal and mosey down to the good ol' infirmary while you finish up here."

That said, Burg went over to Hal, slung Hal's gun onto his back, and lifted Hal up and over his shoulder, and then went off to the infirmary, or where he believed the infirmary to be at least, trying to keep a hand free for his gun just in case the tretcherous mutant commie that hurt Scrubby was still out there.

[Captain K.]

"Very well," says Ah-nuld the medbot.  It rolls away, then turns and says, "I'll be back."

Ded-R-WEE-2 arrives, still cringing in pain from the memory of his death.

[Trunkyboy]

"It's good to be back in the service of FC.  So, what does FC want us to do now?  Shoot more commies?"