Naruto

[Bean Bandit]

Here at the Bureau of Masochistic Anime Viewers Anonymou-wait, hold on.

I've just been informed that we are -not-, infact, the Bureau of Masochistic Anime Viewers Anoymous. In fact, we're not a bureau at all.

We're more of a bedside table. *rim shot*

I apologize. That was an awful joke, but really, I couldn't help it. It truly is indicative of the state of mind this reviewer is in, after sitting though 103 and three episodes of 'Naruto', by someone who's name we can't be bothered to look up.  And why not, you ask? Well, if we knew this person's name, we might be tempted to hunt him down and make him WATCH EVERY EPISODE UNTIL HIS EYES BLED HAHAHAHAHA WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT?

*Ahem* I mean terrible. 'Wouldn't that be terrible' is what we mean, because we are gentle souls at heart, at not prone to horrific cruelty to anyone, and watching every episode of this anime certainly qualifies.

Now, Naruto has a raging, frothing fandom. Perhaps you think they can't all be wrong. Perhaps you are a fool.

What's that? If Person A Likes Naruto, and Person B dislikes it, who can say who's right? Likely, that's the question on your minds right now, so let me, as kindly as possible, settle it by telling you right now...I can. Person A is definitely out of their tiny little mind, because Naruto is BAD.

Naruto is the story of a young boy, and his quest to become, first a ninja, and then 'Hokage', which, to our estimation, is approximately equivalent to becoming Lord High Badass of Asskickers. Oh, Also, he has a nine-tailed fox demon sealed inside him.

Why does he want this? So that everyone will 'acknowledge' him.

And you thought -SKYSABER- was an attention whore.

Worried yet? No? Let me continue.

Naruto is the worst aspect of every television 'brat' you've run across, in anime, cartoon, or comic form. He's Bart Simpson, Calvin of 'Calvin and Hobbes' fame, and Yahiko Myojin all rolled into one. Only less endearing. And Bear in mind, I LIKE him. His determination and grit are his only redeeming features, though, frankly, they get lost in the incessant, never ending, too-loud yelling. Even at normal volume, his voice is grating. This reviewer found himself wishing that someone would PLUG that giant opening in the kid's face (Come to think of it, this may be the source of a great deal of the homosexual stories and doujinshi featuring him. But that's another topic.)

And lest we forget, Naruto is STUPID. Although, we never actually WILL forget how stupid Naruto is, because the makers of the anime have thoughtfully highlighted this by having the other characters have to explain EVERY SINGLE PLOT POINT.

Eventually, it becomes a running joke with the characters, which they no doubt seem to think is funny and intelluctually self-lampooning, wheras is reall gives the impression that all the characters are thinking along the same lines as the viewers: "How the hell did he manage to avoid involuntary institutionaliztion, much less graduate Ninja school?" (Of COURSE there's a Ninja school. Please try not to be such a weinerhead.)

At any rate, Naruto, after a rather decent first few episodes, meets of with his teacher, and the students he will be ninjaing with. Kakashi, his teacher, is a man of mystery. Mainly because a solid 95% of his body is hidden, but the writers go to great lengths to establish him as a badass, so...yes. He's a badass.

Much like Sasuke, in fact. We think. Sasuke is basically a cookie cutter, brooding bishounen type, the only thing that sets him apart from any other, is that he has yet to enter puberty. You'd think a child, even one with great problems would have more emotion, but apparently his lone facial expressions consist of 'I'm Gendo Ikari. How do you do?' and 'I cannot be certain, but I suspect a live weasel is crawling around in my shorts.'

There is also Sakura, and now I'd like to tell you a bit about her.

...

I'd LIKE to, but there's nothing to tell. Seriously. Almost immediately, Sakura takes a back seat to the boys, and stays there. Frankly, ALL the girls are portrayed poorly, which is why it boggles the mind that the female fanbase is so large.

Though, On the other hand...Guys watch 'Sailor Moon'. 'Nuff said.

The show begins to chronicle the adventures of Naruto, which quickly boil down to multi-episodic fights, though, in complete fairness, there isn't any DBZ style 'grunt like you're constipated' posing. Still, the fights have little substance, and are long on silly. The less said there, the better.

There are a wide and motely assorment of supporting characters, and frankly, we don't give a damn. They're all pretty forgettable, except a precious few, and Gaara of the desert, who sticks out because in a senseless act of child abuse, his parents apparently....shaved his eyebrows. Seriously, what's up with that? >_>;

ANYWAY. Yes. Watch for Rock Lee. He doesn't leave a terrific first impression, but he's a suprisingly layered character, for such a dork.

Also, his master, Gai. Gai is an even bigger dork, but oddly wise, despite it all. Plus, anyone who poses and his teeth glint has to be worth SOMETHING.

Unfortunately, the other interesting characters are all female, so we won't waste the time of detailing them, as the single crime of being of the fair sex is apparently enough to deny you an important role in this anime.

So! You might say. What about the Demon fox? and the Sharingan? And you'd be so right. What about them, exactly?

Frankly, the reasoned and intelligent answer I have for you after pondering this subject is as follows:

Dunno.

Seriously. The 'Sharingan' is obviously the result of several sleepless nights, and a long conversation with an incan monkey god and a passionate dose of intercourse with a Grecian Muse....Ha ha! I lie. It's actually the result of being high on glue fumes, as it's essentially the ability to copy anything you can see. And yes, I realize I'm generalizing, Naruto fans, but my feeling on the matter is this: So what?

As for the Demon fox...well, it's actually a decent plot point, as Naruto struggles to contain and use the power. He also has to make his way in the world while living with the fact that a monster lives within his frame. Not unlike George W. Bush. (Ooh. Politics joke. Geek points +++)  

ANYWAY.

Naruto, as a viewing experience, is roughly equivalent to having your privates chomped by rabid badgers.

Thus concludeth the review.

(Subject to changes as this review remembers more things to rant about.)

[Kwokinator]

I'd like to bring up the point that the manga is infinitely better, but this is an anime review board so I won't bring up the manga ^_^

*flees*

[Bean Bandit]

I'd like to point out that the only flaw that the manga fixes is the absurd combat. >_>

So it's not exactly infinitely better, just less stupid. <_<;

[Celisasu]

Why not review the manga?  There's no manga review board anyways so might as well use the anime one right?

[Brian]

Well, probably because this is an anime review board....  But that's just a guess.

Realistically, it is in the theme of this place.  But why take a gamble?  If you're not sure ... ask a mod!

[Dracos]

That's fine for now.  I don't mind manga review's going here.

Dracos

[DB]

And allow me to give a differing viewpoint:

Actually, I liked Naruto. I liked it a lot. This is one of the few more recent releases that I liked most of the aspects of the story (anime only, since I only read the first part of the manga). In fact, I liked it so much, here are some of the pros:

One Naruto: Yes, I actually like him. I like the fact he is not bright at all, and a full 90% of the characters are smarter than him. Tenacity really his his greatest strength, that and the demon locked up inside of him. I honestly enjoyed the simplicity behind the character. Oh, he's got a bit of angst, but thankfully his spirit doesn't allow for extended wallowing in it, which would have ruined it. To me, they did a masterful job of taking a simple character and making him interesting using only the basics, so to speak.

Two: I like the supporting cast backing him up (primarily Sasuke, Sakura, and their boss whose name I always misspell). In fact, there aren't any characters I dislike in the series (correction, Gaara was dealt with far too long), which is mindboggling, considering the sheer number of them. Mind you, I'm only to the end of ep 85 or so, but still, no one has really rubbed me wrong for too long.

Three: despite my contention of liking Naruto and company, nothing but 85+ epsiodes of them would have worn even me down, which is why I enjoyed the development of the other ninjas in the Naruto's age bracket (Hinata most of all, with Rock Lee close behind) Each was made interesting enough for me to want to see them, and more of them. It provided a nice break from the first 40+ eps being all Naruto and company.

Four: Character interactions, pretty much on every level, again a remarkable thing. Things go well overall, but with enough bumps to keep them interesting at the same time. This goes for the villains of the series too, for the most part. There are a variety of relationships between the various characters, displaying every type there is. Again a very strong point.

Five: The humor level was just right for me. Enough to enhance the story without distracting from it.

Six: The music, especially during the fights, was very enjoyable and appropirate, enchancing things rather than distracting from them.

Now, despite my enjoyment of it, let me say that there are some things that I didn't like about it.

One, and this is the most glaring problem, long, drawn out fights. Very long, very drawn out fights. Now mind you, I *like* much of the fighting in fighting animes (Well, not Dragonball, but most of the others). In fact, that's one of the few things that have always beat out manga for me, hands down (reading a fight via panals as opposed to actual movements has always been missing something for me). But even I, who admits to liking fights, will much agree that they drag many of them out too long. Trim them by about 30% percent, and there would have been a much better flow. As it is, there are some parts of the series where I wanted the fight to end two episodes ago.

Two: One of the art teams in the series really sucked. There are a handful of episodes where the artwork just goes into the crapper. You can spot them immidiately.

Three: Too much background is given to some of the villains, especially ones that get whacked by the end of the arc. Also, the placement of their background is given out far too piecemeal, interrupting fights instead of adding to them. Most of the background should have been given up front, rather than in the middle of the fighting.

Four: Boy, talk about saving money using stock footage from the previous epsiode. Some of them had nearly 3 minute of it, if not more. Very annoying, that.

And that's it for pros and cons.

In summation: I can easily see why this series is hit or miss. Either its style is going to work, or it's not. For me, it really, really worked. I'm still eager to see more of it as it gets released. Probably my favorite extended series (going more than 30 eps) in a long while. And if I'm eager to see a series nowadays that leaves me wanting more, then I give it high marks.

8 out of 10. Yep, I personally liked it that much, and there aren't a whole lot I say that of. It's not perfect, and I can easily see why some would dislike this, but I can more easily grasp why it is enjoyed by so many (unlike say, FLCL ^_^)

[Brian]

Naruto is now at 170+ episodes.  I'm going to chime in and add my own thoughts once I can try and collect them (them's a lot of eps), but I'm wondering if our two chief contributers are interested in offering any updates to these reviews.

[Ragnar]

Having recently been shown the first episode of this (in English, no less), I offer my opinion.
I should note that I like the manga quite a bit, with the exception that the plot moves as slow as a turtle in molasses.
However, the anime is a bit different. First, stay VERY FAR AWAY from any sort of Englished-dubbed version of this. I was quite literally wincing during any dialog. Second, I like the animation style quite a bit, and it has a distinctive style that doesn't just look like the every other show. Unfortunately, the same animation scenes are used over and over, giving a cheap feel to the quality of the animation. I can't speak for the Japanese background music, but I suspect anything would've been better than the garbage they had on the English one.
My recommendation: just buy the books. There's nothing to be gained from this one.