Carthrat-World Savior: An adventure in misplaced optimism

[Bean Bandit]

"No, no. Hurts like the dickens, though." Wizard replied cheerfully,  flipping a switch on his bench, and a horribly deformed sphere rose up above the table, and begins lasering Carthrat's prone body.

As it goes along, it becomes clear that he was lying, because you don't feel a thing.

Finally, It stops, and retreats, docking with a small computer that Wizard approaches, and begins to consult.

[Carthrat]

"Uh huh. Thanks for making me wince," replies Carthrat, rolling his eyes. "Forgive me for saying, but you do look like the crazy scientist type.

So, what's it say? Will I find happiness with a new love, or am I doomed to be single for eternity?"

[Bean Bandit]

"You will marry early, right out of high school, but he'll leave you on your tenth wedding anniversay for a stewardess." Wizard replies, without missing a beat. "These readings are...unexpected, to say the least. One thing is certain. I can't make you a spellcaster."

[Carthrat]

"Your reading is clearly flawed. I got out of highschool half a year ago, and havn't met that special guy," replies Carthrat. "Aww. I was so looking forward to that. Well, like analogue, like analogue, I guess."

[Bean Bandit]

"I can, however, give you magical based talents." Wizard adds, as though he didn't hear the witty rejoinder. "A reality marble seems to suit your mana levels, and should allow you enough to use that, and give you a guardian, as well."

[Carthrat]

"So I can cast spells, but I can't cast spells," replies Carthrat, blinking. "A guardian, huh? That sounds nice. A tiger? Please let it be a tiger."

[Bean Bandit]

Wizard actually laughs at that, and you find your fears of him being the crazy scientist type not allieved in the slightest. "First things first. How do you feel about weapons? Guns, Swords, simple bombs?"

[Carthrat]

"I swung a sword once. I shot a gun, too, but I've hardly played with explosives," replies Carthrat. "I dunno. I was always fond of those concealed swords. Y'know, like Zatoichi carried. Caneswords. Yeah. That's good. I could beat someone over the head with it instead of just shooting them, or whatever."

[Bean Bandit]

"Oh, excellent. You're going to love this." Wizard smirks, and roots around under his desk again, and comes out...with an actual marble, in a glass jar. Were it not for the fact that it was glowing, you'd be tempted to check his credentials.

"You need to swallow this."

[Carthrat]

"What does it taste like?" throws back Carthrat, taking the jar, opening, and giving the marble a sniff.

[Bean Bandit]

"Chicken." Wizard replies wittily. The marble gives off nary an odor.

[Carthrat]

"Oh well. I hate medicine, so you know. This better not cause me to explode, or you'll be hearing from me later."

Acting quickly, before his brain has fully woken up, Carthrat pulls out that marble and drops it in his mouth!

[Bean Bandit]

"There are FAR more interesting was to kill you." Wizard replies haughtily, watching you with intense interest.

The marble slides down easily, hitting your gut with a strange splashing feeling, sending cool ripples all over, even down into your toes as a seeming second layer is added to your mind in slow motion...

[Carthrat]

"I'm sure this is just a precursor. An entree, if you will, to my imminent death," replies Carthrat, rubbing his head.

[Bean Bandit]

"Depends on what you do with it, I suppose." Wizard agreed, seemingly waiting for Carthrat to say more.