The Bash thread

[Dracos]

We know we've got a lot of folks who traverse bash regularly in its many incarnations...

How about posts of the funnier ones you come across here?

#525085 +(1063)- [X]

DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full blast
DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up
DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud
DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look
DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of him
DBO: its a note
DBO: written on cardboard
DBO: help up against the window
Muz: Yes...and?
DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm sorry you have a tiny penis"
DBO: he turned it down after that


A weak starter, but lazy.

Dracos

[baka]

<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud

I would laugh out loud as well...

[Ragnar]

#269157 +(445)- [X]
<Tori_ness> Camels may not be able to solve complex mathematical equations
<Tori_ness> But those bastards can still eat your tent

#342833 +(1215)- [X]
<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs
<Olly> What happened to it?
<Rach> i broke it
<Olly> On purpose?
<Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE
<Rach> just stupidly
<Olly> Ahh
<Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it?
<Rach> yeah, it's full of water

#364341 +(428)- [X]
<@reflir> also, my harry potter sex bot arrived
<@reflir> err
<@reflir> I mean box set

(I have a 15-page file of my favorites available here:
http://geocities.com/mietol/Greatestbash.doc)

[Dexie Oblivion]

(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine
(XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you have"


<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m


<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

[Music-chan]

#352763 +(1655)- [X]

<FBD> i had a teacher named Ms. Packman.
<FBD> so im the last day of school, i dressed up as a blue ghost, and charged at her.
<FBD> i got suspended, starting the next year...

[baka]

#529537 +(1445)- [X]

<mattb> funeral was for my uncle
<[OmegentooX]> Did he die?
<mattb> that seems to be the popular opinion

[Zenthor]

#1569 +(507)- [X]

<defproc> i made a program that crashed once. i put it in my resumé and sent it to microsoft.


#9190 +(243)- [X]

<heyyohey> Im having a lot of lag here. i cant answer the questions in time
<Damarr> Pressing Alt+F4 should help. It stops the client sending useless information to the server
*** heyyohey has quit IRC (Quit: Client exited.)

#421163 +(513)- [X]

< [Syntax]> woah, I just cracked open my fortune cookie and it was dead on..
< Feenyx> how so?
< jonnyv> "you will eat a cookie"?

[Dexie Oblivion]

<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas factory."
<Blixt> KEKE LA~ OFFICER!

[baka]

<Onizuka> ^captain_planet
* UB3R-B0T is now known as Kwame
<Kwame> EARTH
* Kwame is now known as Wheeler
<Wheeler> FIRE
* Wheeler is now known as Linka
<Linka> WIND
* Linka is now known as Gi
<Gi> WATER
* Gi was kicked by Xeiliex (Xeiliex)
* Gi has joined #jasio
* Gi is now known as Ma-ti
<Ma-ti> HEART
* Ma-ti is now known as Everyone
<Everyone> GO PLANET
* Everyone is now known as anonymous
<anonymous> BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED...
* anonymous is now known as Captain_Planet
<Captain_Planet> I AM CAPTAIN PLANET
<Moiph> YAAAAAY
<Xeiliex> Moiph, NEVER AGAIN


Best. Script. Ever. "YAAAAAY"