Essay: On Perfection

[StormDragon]

This was a topic that we could use however we want, and write about it however we wanted. I chose narrative style since it was easier for me.

Honey-Colored Eyes
 All my life I have searched for the perfect boyfriend, but to no avail. I could never find one no matter how hard I looked. The hallways of my high school seemed full of happy couples, hand in hand, grinning over some fond memory, up against the lockers and sucking face. Even their kisses are perfect, I would snarl silently to myself as I skulked past Cloud 9.

 It was an unfair hierarchy: the most gorgeous guys would always be paired with the most beautiful girls. That unwritten yet widely-known law lorded over us less-than perfect underlings and every day it seemed to press down upon me until I couldn't breathe for the depression and jealousy.

 Every day I would scowl and stomp through the halls and stab members of the male sex with my X-ray vision. Horrible sense of dress, I would think to myself. Not that one, either. He dresses like a gangsta, therefore has no sense of individuality. They were not like the boy I had in mind. He would have to have flawless skin, great body, awesome hair, and blue eyes. Good manners where always a plus. Drugs and smoking were a definite no-no.

 So focused was I in finding perfection in others, that I neglected myself. I was blind to my ill-fitting clothes, my horrible hair, and my failing grades. I lost contact with my family even though they lived in the same house. "Sweetheart, I hardly know you anymore," my mom would say mournfully, clutching a soapy frying pan in one hand and a sponge in the other. "Yes, you do," I would mutter at her, nail file in one hand and bottle of polish in the other. "I came out of your uterus."

  My relationships with my friends fell apart, and I was left alone. My current mentality was that if I snagged a perfect boyfriend, everything would become right again. People would look up to me, and I would finally have my own patch of heaven.

 I was never so wrong before in my life.

 I took to dressing like someone who works in Harry Hines. Maybe if I showed some skin, boys would be attracted to me. I slathered myself with makeup. I acted outrageously, flirted unashamedly, and was rude to the teachers. I did attract attention, though of the wrong crowd. I was surrounded by the same gangstas that I came to sneer at. I was frustrated, but I did not change my behavior and I clung to my foolish hopes.

 Finally one day someone approached me. Golden light shone down on an angel. He had the most gorgeous white teeth and blonde hair fell rakishly over his eyes. They were blue. I never felt so happy before in my life.

 The wind against my face as we drove down the highway in his pretty sports car felt delicious. I laughed aloud and he grinned at me, and placed his hand on my knee. I ignored that. I ignored the way he stood a little too close to me at the movie theatre line, the way his hands seemed to roam.

 The way that the smell of cigarettes permeated through heavy cologne. The way that his eyes would cling to girls walking by. Girls dressed like me. I didn't care. He was the one I was looking for.

 Or so I thought.

 I didn't know how he managed to sneak the bottle of liquor into the theatre, but I did know that he made a very loud drunk. After we were thrown out, he laughing uproariously and me trying to melt into the ground, he ensconced me in his car and locked the doors. Apparently he was going to try and make it up to me.

 What was this? Things weren't going the direction I envisioned. How did everything go wrong? I fooled him into thinking that I wanted to go somewhere else first and he followed my wishes. Apparently he wasn't that smart either. There went another grain of sand into the hourglass of disappointment.

 A tree appeared out of nowhere and we rammed into it. "Now where did that come from?" he laughed as he crawled from the wreckage of the car. "I don't know," I snarled as I checked myself for injuries. "How dare it suddenly jump out into the middle of the street!" He laughed pretty hard for someone who was bleeding from his nose.

 "I knew I got lucky when I landed you," he grinned, hiccupping.

 Excuse me?

"I mean, look at you!" he gestured at my chest. "You're perfect!" I looked down at my suddenly horrendously skanky clothes and ridiculous platform shoes. I started to laugh. The complete irony of the situation fell on me like a cartoon anvil and I couldn't stop myself from convulsing on the pavement, laughing until my stomach ached and tears ran down my cheeks. Then I started to cry. How could I've been so stupid? I've been such a silly idiot! I've changed myself into something unrecognizable to achieve something that never existed in the first place! I knew now that there was no such thing as perfect; it was just seen differently by each person.

 I wobbled to my feet. "Hey, where are you going, baby?" he slurred. I hefted my heavy platform shoes. "I – am not – your baby!" I yelled, and flung one of the shoes at what remained of his car. The resulting loud thunk sound it made was very lovely. "My car!" he squeaked. I laughed, and threw the other one. The cracks that radiated from it on the windshield were gorgeous.

 Turning, I began to limp triumphantly away, ignoring his unintelligible yelling. I was free; I was no longer bound by my impossible dream of achieving that level of hierarchy that I cherished.

 A half hour later of walking alone down the empty street, a truck stopped at my side. "You need a ride?" asked the Total Geek who was at the wheel. I grinned in thanks. Along the way he babbled on and on about homework and the like, but I didn't care. I listened and responded and laughed with him.

 Behind his glasses his eyes were the warm color of honey.

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Harry Hines Blv. is a place here in Dallas famous for its bazaars and um, skanky ho prostitutes.

[Ragnar]

Very nicely done. I like it.

[Yuthirin]

Applause for well-written prose and evocation of emotion.

[Kwokinator]

Are you the narrator? ^^

[StormDragon]

Of course not ^^ This is just something I thought up.

Thanks y'all, for your comments :D