Evil Commentary Bureau Versus The Better End v 2.0

[Dracos]

&It is truly pathetic...when the criticism is longer then the fic itself.&

Here, for public amusement...is the first of the ECB criticisms on Kaiphantom's work.

EDIT: I realized I forgot to also credit Ginrai, who did an excellent job helping proofread this ECB production ^^.

EDIT: Yet another lost attachment restored for posterity:

Evil Commentary Bureau versus The Better End v 2.0

Fearless Leader

[Anastasia]

ECB: O~kay...PROBLEM!  This 'reflection' is placed waaaaaaay too far
in the future.  And there's no reason for the monologue either.  If it
'ended' with some end...it could be reasoned out...but Ranma's thought
process of expla...
ECB: I've just realized what's the real core of what is wrong with
this fic.  IT'S ALMOST SOLELY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE.  You are giving
verbal styles that wouldn't occur internally.  You are mixing external
dialogue (Through Ukyo), internal monologue, and fourth wall breaking.
Surely you'd know that they can't be mixed.  You can write a sole
monologue to an external audience...but if you include an internal
one...you break it.  It doesn't work.  You can't mix internal
monologues, fourth wall breaking, and external dialogue without any
separation whatsoever.

Intentional or misedit, Dracos?

EDIT: Gah.  I noticed a few nasty misformats in this, like this.

Blahblahbhalbahljla
as
dfasljdal;skfjdaslkj
aj

You know the type.

[Dracos]

If you are talking about Kai's work, I didn't care about his stuff looking nice ^^;.  Anyhow, going through it again.  That explai... was intentional.

Fearless Leader

[Anastasia]

Alright.  Yeah, but there are alot of the one letter/word on a line and then a space formatting errors.  It's annoying as hell.

[Dracos]

True, I noticed that.  Damn bastard must have formatted to 72 chars per line instead of the standard 70.

Fearless Leader

[kpjam]

I curse you Dracos.  
You, who have forced me to read this pile of excrement.  
Is my blissful ignorance so appaling to you that you have to flaunt this thing which should be killed, burned, shit upon, and then burryed below the earth's mantle.>_<

But, you did a good job of pointing out how poor this offering was.

[Anastasia]

Good work, Drac.  Besides the formatting fuckups, it was fine.

[Dracos]

Okay, reuploaded a cleaned copy for easier reading.

Fearless Leader