Scene 1: We start with Sasaki on the train, exercising her ability to analyze people and situations in a very logical and analytical sort of sense. She is almost clinical in methodology, but she is far from unfeeling--she seems to take some amusement in her ability, but it also comes with some level of downside, also.
QuoteShe was not personally that interested in a managerial position, just averse to the idea of Tanaka gaining it through less than wholesome means. However, there didn't seem to be anything she could do about it since voicing her suspicions without tangible proof of obstruction was out of question. She would be on shaky ground even if she managed to produce irrefutable evidence, as the necessary measures for achieving that might be interpreted as acting in bad faith to incite internal conflict.
Oh well, too bad.
This makes her come off as either indifferent or even slightly disapproving of office politics, though she's clearly quite aware of its existence. She acts according to her own directives and standards, or at least they are her primary concern. I think this is a defining moment for the character as we should see her in the piece.
Quote"Regrettably, this failure has been mutual. My apologies."
Kyon scratched the back of his head while apologizing, and this gesture made Sasaki realize that the reply was not just a pleasantry -- the issue really bothered him.
Very formal, is the impression I take from this. Almost not like Kyon, or perhaps like him in a moment of earnestness and serious regret.
Scene 2: In the second scene (Kyon's first), Kyon seems a bit self-conscious of his own standing. He hesitates to call Sasaki back at the end of the scene, thinking about Sasaki having after-work drinks with coworkers, as if to reflect on how he does not have that luxury or opportunity. He dresses very casually, as if not to rise above what he perceives as his own place in the world at the moment. Kyon is portrayed as being of modest social stature (not having his own business cards, for instance). But he does call, and doesn't agonize over it. He isn't wallowing in his own situation by any means. He comes off as somewhat grounded, then, I think.
Scene 3: Sasaki thinks on the supernatural vs. the rational world. She seems to have taken the position that she accepts the supernatural world, but largely on a factual level. She certainly doesn't live or revel in that side of things, and as a result, she's lost touch with Tachibana and nearly so with Kyon.
QuoteShe had hesitated for a while before choosing the wisteria skirt suit that she was sparing for special occasions. By doing so she was certainly forfeiting her ability to blend inconspicuously in the crowd; instead of being able to discreetly observe other people, she could sense how she was now the target of many an aside glance. While the attention she was drawing was not disapproving by any measure, she would rather have done without.
She seems to prefer observing the world to being an involved part of it, at least in some respects, and I think this meshes with her attitude towward the supernatural vs. the rational world above: the supernatural exists and she accepts that, but she doesn't
participate in it.
Kyon freely admits he didn't have much planned this week; he is relatively open about his position and standing. He's politely humble when Sasaki praises him for embracing work he enjoys.
Sasaki orders ahead of time: she's being a little assertive, in my opinion, especially since she emphasizes that she's interested in having more time with him to catch up, rather than to struggle over what to order. Sasaki has been keeping closer tabs on him than he her, it sounds like. There's quite a bit of admiration for what Kyon does and how he does it--making a personal connection, as she says. Perhaps this reflects on how she feels her job is the antithesis of such a thing: making impersonal observations about people in a collective, statistical sense.
That Sasaki dismisses any romantic overtones as unlikely is not surprising. That she fears she should feel guilty for it speaks to a subjugation of her own desires; she's not accustomed to indulging herself. Perhaps she even feels it unwise to do so.
Quote"So, how do you divide the work?"
As soon as she had said this she knew that she had made a mistake; she just didn't know yet how big it was.
"What do you mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I know that you do the research and the final writing part...," she said, hoping against all odds that she had simply misread the cues, and simultaneously chiding herself for making such an unwarranted assumption.
Kyon looked quizzically at her for a moment before spotting the unvoiced question.
"You're talking about Haruhi, aren't you? You can remember Haruhi?"
"How could I not remember her?" Sasaki asked, pushed off balance by the unexpected response.
This passage puzzles me. It seems that Sasaki does not mean to broach the subject that Kyon believes she is broaching, and that Kyon jumps to a conclusion that did not follow. Sasaki assumes Kyon has an assistant? Kyon thinks she means a partner, a lover. Or perhaps she
is asking that question after all (which would fit with the "unwarranted assumption"). If she is indeed asking that question, then her interest in him seems much more overt than she even realized or would admit to herself.
I see now, later on, that part of Kyon's strong reaction here is that he didn't expect Sasaki to remember Haruhi at all, so even a hint that she was talking about her he pounced upon.
Anyway, later on in this scene, Sasaki has just reacted to Kyon's story about Haruhi, and she has this feeling she can't describe, and later again when she settles on saying that Kyon's attitude is admirable. She seems really out of touch with her own feelings, as if the person she's least capable of analyzing is herself.
Kyon then goes on to put forth a theory, and the implication is pretty clear: he's grasping for a way for Haruhi's departure to make sense as being in both their interests, rather than something he'd be doomed never to understand. It's hard to judge at this point whether this idea is well-founded or merely rationalization. It's really the first time Kyon seems like anything other than a reasonably well-adjusted guy; here he's asking Sasaki, basically, if this has even a hint of plausibility. It signals to me that the wounds of Haruhi leaving his side are still there, which is part of why Sasaki seems so bothered that she even helped bring the subject up in the first place. I was expecting Kyon to be elated that someone else actually remembered at all; instead his reaction is more measured. To me, it's like he's worried about getting his hopes up, but he definitely has some hope (or need) about him.
Scene 4: Both Kyon and Sasaki admit they would be unprepared for visitors. They have led somewhat isolated lives, then, in a personal sense. This is borne out, for Sasaki at least, by her minimalistic decor. Sasaki seems the type to eschew friendships for the sake of merely having them, but it almost seems like she's stayed static and unconnected with people, not even indulging in a fraction of a reasonable and healthy level of personal connection. It seems like she's changed too little since high school; on the other hand, she was married at one time, so perhaps this behavior is just a reaction to that time.
Sasaki later goes on to suggest that she simply hasn't brought herself to accept the permanence of her situation. I admit, I find this explanation a little dissatisfying, or at the least, I'm not inclined to take it wholly at face value. As a rule, I think characters should not have perfect insight into themselves, so I can accept this is the reason she believes she's doing this, but I remain a little skpetical it actually is the case--or that it is the whole and entire explanation.
Sasaki's description of her marriage and divorce is very...neutral, very matter-of-fact. Almost sounds like she and her husband were friends who happened to get married, rather than people in "love". Not that Sasaki seems like the kind of person who would engage in romance in a typical fashion, but still, it feels like either she's distancing herself from her emotions deliberately...or she really
is just that way. Later, another theory comes up that Sasaki merely wished to avoid being a housewife, but this to me seems like a bit of a false dichotomy; while Sasaki would've had to consider giving up her job, surely there were other jobs she could've pursued.
Sasaki reflects a bit on her dissatisfaction with her career, which has been telegraphed for some time, given her enthusiasm for Kyon's line of work. There's an element that, abandoning her career now would be
really admitting a mistake (in not staying with her husband). Again, this makes her come off a bit stubborn (consistent with the first scene, not wanting to observe office politics). It's a stubbornness that she doesn't show overtly, but it seems to underlie her personality--there are things she'll willingly admit and do, and there are things she absolutely won't, simply because she chooses not to. Of course, letting regret over her divorce keep her from pursuing happiness is really compounding mistakes--it's a sunk cost fallacy.
Later, Kyon and Sasaki flesh out his theory, but to me, it just seems like a lot of speculation without any evidence--there are dozens of ways Haruhi's statement could be interpreted. I feel like Kyon should have something more concrete to really be pushing this, or else he should acknowledge that it's just a toy idea that he's come up with to make sense of things, but he's looking for any evidence at all.
Scene 5: Kyon and Sasaki go on a trip a bit earlier than Sasaki expected.
QuoteShe refrained from admitting that she didn't have anything planned for the afternoon, and in fact she would have been completely happy if the trip had taken a whole day, but saying so would have been inconsiderate since he was already putting so much effort to the surprise.
Sasaki, Sasaki. For once, it is safe to express what you want vs. what you're too polite to ask for. You guys have done a good job making her this way.
Kyon seems to be paying close attention to Sasaki during the drive, despite driving at night. Sasaki notes that Kyon genuinely cares about people, while she only has an intellectual interest in most other human beings. She seems to find his lack of clinging to platitudes for platitudes' sake refreshing.
Quote"While this current arrangement is one of strict necessity, as I don't have a car or even a driver's license, I imagine that it wouldn't have been physically impossible for me to carry you at the back of a bicycle instead of the other way round. Could the fact that you never insisted that we should take turns at pedaling be seen as a tacit acknowledgement of a social convention postulating that particular arrangement -- because I was a girl?"
He furrowed his brow. "Uh, wasn't that quite obvious?"
"Thus, it is indeed as I thought, and that makes me glad. But, at the same time it appears to me that you are underestimating the ability of a teenage girl to feel insecure about her personality despite displaying an external image of confidence."
"You really thought that I might take you for a boy?" he asked in bewilderment.
I take this to be referencing Rainy Day, but I feel like it might be a little opaque to someone not as familiar with the piece.
The whole subsequent conversation about whether Sasaki is or is not a girl and what it means to categorize people puzzles me a bit. To me, the obvious answer is that Sasaki does want to be seen as a girl to him, as someone who could in principle hold his romantic interest (despite her mental insistence that this is not what she wants). If not for emphasis on the
girl aspect, I would accept that she wants to be seen (and is seen) as a human being, or as a
person in a looser definition of the word that can include aliens and other beings, rather than as an incomprehensible creature. But the emphasis makes me think more about the former interpretation--especially because the younger Kyon couldn't have possibly seen her as anything else.
They go on to talk about Sasaki's attitude and how she comes off to people, which I regard as especially apt, and Kyon shows more resolve and decisiveness, which is a heartwarming realization.
QuoteThe thought sent shivers down her spine and she was suddenly immensely grateful that she wasn't alone. No, that wasn't it -- she was grateful that he was there with her. For a fleeting moment she felt an urge to touch him, to ascertain that his presence wasn't an illusion, but then she realized what it would look like and silently chided herself for being so sentimental.
She is incredibly restrained.
Quote"At one point in my life I used to have sleeping troubles, so I often walked around the neighborhood at night. This area is especially tranquil so I liked to come here for a walk, but there isn't anything special to the discovery itself. I just happened to be at the right place at the right time."
The intensity of the emotion triggered by his words caught Sasaki unaware. The implied reason behind his sleeplessness and nightly walks resonated with her own sense of loneliness and she suddenly knew with breathtaking certainty that she would hug him regardless of consequences if he gave her the slightest excuse to do so. The possibility of losing her usual self-restraint in such a way was an idea she found at the same time disconcerting and fascinating.
But -- since she was with Kyon there wouldn't be an excuse forthcoming, would there? He hadn't brought her here with any hidden motives in mind, or mentioned his lonely walks in order to garner pity. She stole a reassuring glance at the man by her side, who was watching the sunrise in apparent contemplation, unaware of her internal turmoil.
And at last, that restraint begins to erode and crumble. She is confronting her feelings openly for perhaps the first time in the piece. I don't catch what Kyon's implied reason might be--possibly Haruhi?
QuoteStill, she couldn't help wondering what it would be like. Even if she couldn't remember it -- if they had been together for so long, would her body somehow recognize the sensation, or had she lost everything from her previous life? If this life was the best of all the ones she could have had, was it selfish and greedy to ask for more?
I admit, I still can't get over that she treats this theory as basically fact when there isn't a shred of evidence.
Anyway, Sasaki steps back from the precipice of hugging Kyon, thinking that
there must be some reason this place is special to him, and she won't make it her own instead. I remain floored at her ability to subjugate her own desires; she thinks herself inconsiderate, and perhaps she is, just to justify her own need to deny herself, but anyone else might mistake it for altruisim of the highest order.
Sasaki relates how she wonders if all her memories are real, but she concludes that it doesn't matter if they are or aren't; she is a person now, and she embraces that and the experiences she's having, especially that with Kyon. This does feel like a good level of progress for her, considering the dissatisfaction she seemed to feel at times earlier in the piece.
Scene 6: Kyon is tempted to leave his apartement as it is, lest it be deceptive. I think this is consistent with his general eschewment of appearances, but the opposing temptation to try to impress Sasaki is also reasonable.
Sasaki's choice of takeout is a pragmatic and deliberately weighed decision.
They discuss Sasaki's career, and the idea of her working for a charity is considered, which seems to have her livened up quite a bit. It's amazing how Sasaki's spirits have turned over the course of the piece to this point. She seems much more optimistic now than before.
The topic of middle school and confessions comes up, and Kyon admits that he was obliquely trying test whether Sasaki would be interested in him back then. I'll be curious as to your thinking on how this is consistent with his apparent lack of reaction to her getting drenched later in Rainy Day. Sasaki is remarkably forthright that she was interested in him at the time, and she says she just didn't pick up on his hint at all. Is that, too, consistent with Rainy Day? Or should we conclude, then, that Sasaki believed love was a disease so adamantly because she knew herself to be infected with it?
Quote"Precisely!" she agreed with an emphatic nod. "Things may not have gone the way we dreamed, but what we have borne witness to shaped and defined us!"
A massive, massive dodge. Saying they previously agreed to it is to resign both of them to preestablished fate. Sasaki must know this is ridiculous, but she has no other moves to make to...preserve their mutual dignity, I guess.
Quote"I think we might still be able to learn from things in our past, though," he said thoughtfully. "I can't help but think it would benefit you slightly more to be at least somewhat more selfish in your outlook."
Kyon hits the nail on the head and drives it straight through the board.
Scene 7: Kyon drives Sasaki home, and he all but says flat out that he wants to be with her. Sasaki, in turn, decides to forego any idea of working for a charity in another city to be with him also, as much as either of them are willing to say aloud.