Cosgrove then did what any shade person would do.
He found a stick and proceeded to whack the whirling metal pod.
Dracos
Having wrapped bishie-swordsman in chains of light, Fitz tries to ask him who the hell he is. First mistake.
He's then attacked by some kinda freaky mind trick from the one-eyed dude (which fails), so he promptly casts Mental Reaffirmation.
Rat coughs quietly and points out that Mental Reaffirmation dispels mental effects. Mental effects that didn't work. Second mistake.
Fitz promptly bashes the bishie over the head with his own scabbard. First thing he did right.
<C-Rat> Guy in hat!
<Cadfael> Rune of Obscuring!
<C-Rat> You feel magic!
<Cadfael> Rune of Mana flare!
<C-Rat> You feel weird magic!
<Cadfael> Rune of Mind Shield!
<C-Rat> ....you feel a LIGHTNING POWERED CAR!
<Cadfael> Rune of Traffic Lights!
<C-Rat> Uh, nobody looks at them in South Africa.
<Cadfael> But we're not in South Africa.
<C-Rat> Aren't we?
<Mysterious Blind Woman> N'dovu, I need you to carry this ring to Mordor, and throw it into the volcano. But you must brave armies of orcs and goblins, and--
<N'dovu> Spirits willing, I'll be back soon.
* N'dovu vanishes for a long time.
<N'dovu> I'm back. Mission accomplished.
<Mysterious Blind Woman> Um. I was going to give you alli-- done already?
<N'dovu> Yeah. I met the army you mentioned. They're really quite polite. Welcomed me with welcome arms, and called me "Big brother". They let me see the volcano, too. Though, they did kind of overreact when I threw the ring into the lava. Well, anyway. What else did you need? It's still Sunday, so I have some time.
<Mysterious Blind Woman> ... um ... I ... lost a crystal? It was stolen by this dark elf prince, and....
<Device> KABOOM!
<Cosgrove is covered in searing flames.>
<C-Rat> Ahaha! GM Frag count = 1!
No, seriously, who would be sick and twisted enough to have your very first encounter be with a bomb that immediately explodes? ;_;
There is the sound of a struggle, followed by a loud thump.
<Delivery Guy> Is everything okay in there?
<Fitz> These are not the droids you are looking for...
Already somewhat uncomfortable with the situation, but trying not to show it, N'dovu asks, "Do I need to sign anything?"
"Uh, no," replies Angela, nodding. "This is strictly under-the-table business, you understand."
N'dovu gasps and recoils in horror. "Under the table? You would have me doing drugs ... illegally?"
Cosgrove discovers he is in London.
<Fitz> Richard, can you take me to the airport?
<OkibiOhki> Post of If N'Dovu's Hair Turns Green and Cosgrove Delivers a Package to His Home Village That Kills Almost Everyone, Forcing N'Dovu to Summon a Titan, I Will Beat You, Rat.
* OkibiOhki likes to cover all of the bases.
[15:58] <NonOhki> Dracos: They can take away your sword, they can take away your gin, but they can't take away your SPIRITS!
[15:58] <NonOhki> Oh.
[15:58] <NonOhki> Wait.
[15:58] <NonOhki> They did take away your spirits.
[15:58] <NonOhki> Hmm. This ... is not good.
[16:48] <Faceless> I'm just going to point out here that, personally, I think valid and standard business practice would be to ask why the contract was turned down.
[16:48] <C-Rat> I knew that.
[16:48] <C-Rat> Really.
[16:48] <Faceless> It would also be valid and standard business practice to indicate why the contract was unacceptable, but I think it's pretty safe to assume that Cadfael wouldn't know valid and standard business practice if it bit him in his tattooed dick.
[16:56] * Faceless is considering renaming the runes, actually.
[16:56] <Faceless> They came from a rune mage concept who was more druidic in nature.
[16:56] <Faceless> I think Cadfael would come up with boring names.
[16:56] <C-Rat> Boring isn't that fun, though.
[16:56] <Faceless> True.
[16:56] <Faceless> I could number them all.
[16:57] <C-Rat> "Rune #3 power GO!"
[16:57] <C-Rat> >_>
[16:57] <Faceless> <Cadfael> Taste Hot Streaming Rune 27a!
<Livingstone> And the others?
<Cosgrove> They're just puppets. See? *lifts Fitz' arm* No worries, they won't get involved.
<Livingstone> You're traveling around with a bunch of puppets?
<Cosgrove> Yeah, I was thinking of joining the circus really.
Dracos
<Livingstone> Let's fight.
<Cosgrove> Wait, I haven't insulted enough of your heritage!
<Livingstone> Do we really have to go through this every time?
<Cosgrove>Absolutely, you cocknyed british rat!
<Livingstone> Couldn't you just like, kill me? Wouldn't that be easier?
<Cosgrove> No, you must suffer through the speech first.
Dracos
<Cosgrove> Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated!
<Livingstone> With your breath, I'm sure they suffocated.
<Cosgrove> En Guarde! Touche!
<Livingstone> Oh, that is so cliche.
<Cosgrove> You have the sex appeal of Shar-Pei!
<Livingstone> Wait! That's not fair! You're using Captain Rottingham's insults!
MONKEY ISLAND! =D
Shairthewm (9:31:21 AM): "They've slipped into sword-speed. We'll never catch them now!"
Shairthewm (9:34:24 AM): Yes. But quipping on that is ASKING for an ironic cut to get through.
Carthrat (9:35:03 AM): <Livingstone> Have at thee! Irony-ryu-no-geki-ken!
Dracos
<C-rat> "Enemy!"
<Brian> "Outsmart!"
<C-rat> "Uh ... enemy!"
<Brian> "Outsmart!"
<C-rat> "Somwhat smarter enemy, without any real combat potential."
<Brian> "N'DOVU SMASH!"
<Dracos> I have you now! *Stabs*
<Livingstone> That's what you think! Counterstrike time!
*ping!
* Dracos lagged out
* Livingstone lagged out
* Fitz lagged out
Oh noes....
Dracos
<Clive> Please, Dear God, don't hurt me.
<Cosgrove> Okay. Talk?
<Clive> Never!
<Cosgrove> Barney?
<Clive> *whiper* they're here *address*!
<Cosgrove> That wasn't so bad, was it?
Dracos
In another world...
<Cosgrove>"Let's not get help."
<Fitz> "Kick in doors?"
<Cosgrove> "You know it."
*Blues brothers track plays as they go to kick in the Mystrix door and kill everyone within*
Dracos
<Fitz> I want your rare and precious books. Where are they?
<Shopkeeper> Bastard thieves! *pulls out shotgun and shoots*
<Time passes>
<Time passes>
<Time passes>
<Fitz> *glances at slow moving bullets* So about those books?
Dracos