The auditorium buzzed with a thousand conversations as students filed in, the first class meeting of the new year about to take place. Upper and lower classmen, middle schoolers and elementary school children packed the seats. No one noticed the short blonde who took to the podium.
"Hello? Is this thing on? Testing. Testing. Hello?" Alicia Star tapped the microphone loudly, causing feedback to screech through the PA system. Loud groans could be heard as students and teachers covered their ears. Hurriedly, a technician adjusted the volume controls, bringing the noise back down to tolerable levels.
"Ha ha! Guess it works, huh?" Laughing to herself, she quickly quieted as no one else seemed to find it very amusing. Tossing her waist length hair, the diminutive teacher proceeded.
"Heh, heh, ahem. Anyway, welcome to Roanoke Academy's annual Rites of Passage Ceremony! We gather here today to see off the best and the brightest of our young people who wish to take the final leap into adulthood, god bless their poor souls." This at least got a few laughs.
"I'm suppose to give a big speech detailing the history of the hunt and how our ancestors came to Mars and all that." Alicia pauses to let the groans die down. She recalled having done the same thing some twenty years ago before she had taken the rites.
"But really, you already know all of that. Mysterious lights. Blah blah blah. Secrets of time and space. Yadda yadda yadda. And now we're here. Good story, huh?" This earned her a wave of laughter from the students, and an almost equal amount of groaning from the adults. There would be trouble with the head master over this, sure, but at least that wouldn't bore her to tears.
"Anyway, let me introduce to you our brave hunters who wish to take the test!" She stepped back off the crate she had to use to reach the microphone, pulling the curtain open behind her and revealing four figures.
Angie Rockbreaker smiles nerviously as the curtain opens, squirming in place just a little bit. Her body, while not in the best perfect shape, is still reasonably slender and with a good fake tan.
Not like any other tans can easily be gotten on Mars, anyway.
Her simple combo of a red sweater and blue jeans looks normal enough, even if perhaps marking her as a less than stellar dresser. Yet she still stands, glancing antsily at both her three companions? Friends? Rivals? - and the crowd as she waits. After all, not many try to become hunters, and nervousness is only natural.
"Starting from the left, standing at an astonishing two meters, hailing from the rough and tumble streets of Middle Town, let's give it up for Mr. David Quick-cleaver!" To Angie's right, the audience's left, stands a young man who towers over everyone on stage. His skin in the color of Great Palm bark, darker than your false tan but not much more so. He gazes out at the assembly with stony gray eyes, his back straight and hands held firmly at his side. He acknowledges the cheers with the slightest nod of his head.
"Isn't he the coolest?" Alicia, shouts, working the crowd. "The Quick-cleavers are know far and wide as some of the best hunter-gatherers in the land, so I think it's safe to say we expect good things from you." The blonde sidles up to the tall youth. "On a different note, think you could spare some of that height?"
David laughs nervously, his cool image shattered, as the teacher begins circling him with cries of , "I want some! I want some! No fair!" The crowd erupts into laughter, and even your fellow would-be hunters are having a hard time keeping it together.
All except one.
Angie giggles, her nervousness aiding the outburst of laughter. She hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him yet, but she sure had looked.
Yowza.
The next young man Alicia approaches is slightly shorter than you, with well formed arms, short cropped red hair, and the biggest smile plastered across his face. He rocks back in forth on his heels, his girlish good looks receiving catcalls from around the room. He winks and blows kisses, playing up the atmosphere as much as your announcer.
"From Crater Island, the all too adorable Lapis Lazuli!" Alicia gives the crowd a moment before continuing. "As you all know, the Lazuli clan is one of the prosperous trading cartels on Mars. What you might not know is that Lapis here is the second in line to inherit the whole business!" This is met with awed murmuring, none of which seems to disturb the crimson-haired youth.
"I just have to know, you could easily forgo the hunt and just buy your way into adulthood. Why risk it?" The room falls silent as he appears to ponder for a moment, the tension building to excruciating levels. Finally, he nods.
"Well, that's simple, really." Lapis leans toward the crowd conspiratorially, the crowd doing likewise in return.
To her credit, little money notes don't appear in Angie's eyes. But she does note it, taking a moment to study him.
Wow, a heir...he could be filthy rich! Ooooh...
A momentary daydream of buying a manshion passes through her mind, before she banishes it and turns back to the event at hand.
She should be to me soon! This...wow, I hope I don't look stupid...
Just as Lapis opens his mouth to speak, Alicia pulls the microphone away and heads toward you.
"Which I'm sure is fascinating, really. I mean that! Thirdly, hailing from the West End, a coal miner's daughter, one Miss-ms-misses-, er, um, something like that." She frowns at her note cards, pulling them close and then far as though trying to make out the print.
"Man, who wrote these? This handwriting is atrocious." From what little glimpse you can see that even calling it juvenile would be too good. Though you aren't exactly sure what a chicken is, the term 'chicken scratch' still persists, and that's exactly what you'd imagine the markings of some extinct bird may very well have looked like.
"Um, Angie Rockbreaker, everyone!" She gives up on the card. "So, a coal miner's daughter, eh?" She smiles brightly.
A slow blush creeps onto her face as Alicia stumbles and staggers through her writing.
Aw man! IT's not that bad, you stupid...
"Um, hi," she waves briefly, laughing with her mouth wide open and blushing. "Yep, just a coal miner's daughter, that's me! Pefectly normal and available! Er..." she follows up a moment later, blushing even more "I mean, I'm avaliablefortalkingander...um..." Fizzling out, she bows her head slightly.
"Hear that, guys? She's available!", Alicia calls out. Catcalls and whistles follow this pronouncement. She looks you up and down with a critical eye.
"Hm. Can you cook and clean, by any chance?"
"Yep," she admits, bouncing back quickly. "Hehheheh!"
Those cookies last week don't count...or the time I cleaned the bathroom...or...bah!
"Than it is decided, you'll be my wife!" She attaches herself to you side faster than you'd have thought possible. "I'll take good care of you, I promise," she sings. In a lower, but still quite audible voice thanks to the microphone she adds, "Heheh. No more cooking! No more cleaning! And she's cute! Lucky!"
"...Gah! Guh! Kyaa!" Angie freezes up several moments, going rigid and sputtering. "Gah! What are you doing! I'm not like that! I'm just a normal girl! I have a boyfriend! I'm engaged! Pregnant! Married! Spoken for! Terminally ill!" Rattling off various excuses, she tries to free herself from the leeching girl.
Try as you might, the woman has an iron grip on you and doesn't seem to be having any problems staying attached. It's actually rather commendable, or would be if she wasn't, you know, attached to you specifically, Luckily, help soon arrives. The final member of the would-be hunters moves toward you.
She stands a little shorter than you, her hair cut just short of her shoulders, and glares at the teacher through the enormous bifocals she is wearing. She takes careful aim, the teacher distracted by trying to keep a hold on you, and strikes.
"Judo chop!" The sound of flesh meeting flesh is music to your ears as the chop finally causes Alicia to loose her grip.
"Ouchouchouchouchouch." Cradling her hurt head as best she can, the teacher turns on the final student.
"What'd you do that for? It hurts!"
"Nothing you don't deserve," the girl shoots back calmly. "You're a teacher, try acting like one." She pushes her curly blonde locks out of her eye. "Don't you see you're embarrassing the poor-ouch!" Her little speech is cut short by Alicia's preemptive strike.
"Teacher Kick! Teacher Kick!" Diminutive though she might be, she's still able to leave a mark high on the girl's skirt,
Lapis rubs a hand through his hair, and gives a sigh, pouting somewhat.
Rememeber the first lesson of the Lazuli: *Always* let women handle their own affairs between each other.
So instead of trying anything silly, he flashes one of his trademark (patent pending- the Lazuli family is stupidly rich) smiles at the crowd, and shrugs his shoulders, as if to say, 'Hey, get some comedy while you can.'
"Uhh..." Angie watches the carnage unfold, blushing like a drunken tramp in winter. Words of thanks are lost in the ensuing teacher chaos, as she slumps and sighs.
Oh God, now my friends are going to think I like girls...! They'll call me Hairy Legs for sure! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!