In the mystical land of Josho, dwarves mined mountains and elves climbed trees. Humans built large monuments to power, and every couple of years, an evil villian would try his luck at dominating the world.
But they all failed, thanks to the bravery, the courage, the absolute HONOR and GLORY!~
Of the local churches, from which a group of brave men and a woman teamed up to go slay whatever evil villians lurked. These churches, which never turned away noble heroes sprung up wherever evil lurked...
And they produced JUSTICE on the surrounding lands. All in the name of the CAUSE! And the CAUSE was furthered by the acts of these brave heroes.
And so, when a Brave Noble Fighter, who went by the name of John Truesword came to a small village church...
They asked a quest of him.
And the quest... was this:
"John Trueblade, the local kings princess has been KIDNAPPED!"
Gasps of shock from the clergy and other church-goers.
"She has been Kidnapped by a horrible DRAGON!"
A small voice popped up from the clergy. "What color is it?"
The high priest blinked. "What does that matter?"
"Well, it could have like, you know, NOT kidnapped her, but had made a deal with her, depending on it's-"
"HERETIC!" shouted the High Priest loudly. "Fredumont, take him out and SMITE him!"
Clapping insued, but once it had died down...
"Now, John Trueblade... your quest is to go to the Dragons lair on Mt. Capiriariosca, and RESUCE the princess. You shall be rewarded with the Churchs Undying Gratitude! Oh, and One Million Pieces of Gold! You cannot possibly carry so much, so we decided to make it easy on you can allow you to carry only One Thousand Pieces of Gold."
The High Priest paused for a moment, then stared John straight in the eye.
"One of our most capable Cleric, Fredumont shall accompany you. He excels in slaying EVIL in all it's guises, and shall serve you well. What is your response?"
((Ok, people. I really don't mind how you do OOC, as long as it's OBVIOUS, and it's at the beginning or end of a post.
The usual obvious rules.. you're all intelligent people, and if you don't know them I'll tell you, but really, it's common sense ^^))
In an old tower, in a middle of an even older forest, Greysol Darkplain studied his crystal ball. Watching the images for a while he finally turned away and puffed on his pipe.
"The time draws near. The heroes are begining to gather. They shall prevail, but will need help at first."
Letting loose a couple smoke rings, Greysol continued speaking to himself.
"Now where did I put that walking stick?"
OOC: *Olg. wonders what he got into* Oh well, it should be interesting. *grins*
IC:
Up until that point, the blonded haired youth quietly listened to the priest's words. No older than eighteen, his attitude was one of complete professionalism. Looking away from the High Priest, he took a few moments to consider the offer.
"I'll do it.." John quietly murmured, turning to look at the Priest with his deep blue eyes.
The High Priest smiled. "Thank the Cause! Fredumont! Our savior is here!"
A loud voice boomed from behind the young fighter as a large, broad-shouldered man thundered back into the temple - waving a heavy, mean-looking mace enthusiastically.
"EXCELLENT! The CAUSE has PROVIDED!" proclaimed the cleric loudly, clapping John solidly on the back.
"I, FREDUMONT the MILD," - several other clerics winced at the volume - "Shall accompany YOU, James Trueblade, and together we shall SMITE the HERETICAL and EVIL dragon in the name of the CAUSE! HAIL TO THE CAUSE!"
OOC: Argh, well this is my first post. I dunno about how I'm playing her. *sigh* But she babbles. Oh, yeah.
IC:
Behind the crowd of church goers, a cloaked figure stood, A bow in their hand and a small loaded crossbow strapped to each hip. One arrow poked out of a case on their back, the tufts of it worn and faded from their original redness.
This person shifted stances once, twitching uncomfortably. Then they shifted again. And again.
The Cleric's voice was booming, and the figure twitched again. Sighing, the figure shoved the hood back, showing a smiling, feminine girl with blue eyes and long dark green hair that fell out of the hood in a braided ponytail. Pointed ears poked out from behing the tufts of hair framing her face.
She shoved her way into the crowd, ignoring the indignation (How DARE you ruin this glorious moment of the CAUSE! for me!) and annoyed murmurs.
She reached the front, standing tall, well, actually rather short, because she wasn't very tall, really, but that wasn't the point at all was it?, and her thoughts were running all the wrong ways, and wasn't that Brave Noble Fighter really cute, with his blue eyes that just bored their way into your skull like the arrow she'd shot at the mean giant last week, and hadn't that just been really neat, the way blood had just spurted out of his eye?
Then she realized everyone was staring at her, because she was just standing right out where the high priest and the Brave Noble Fighter who was called John and the loud Cleric were all being very dramatic and holy-like.
And she'd hoped for such a better entrance.
"HI! I've always wanted to fight a dragon and rescue a princess, do you know if she's pretty?, I've always wanted to rescue a pretty princess and fight a dragon, I've heard it was really fun, and I can fight really well, just last month I defeated this really mean ogre that insulted a noble so they'd but a bounty on his head." She took a breath. "What do you think, can I go with you?"
John barely managed to stop himself from drawing his sword at the man's yell.
"Um...yes. Pleasure to meet you." John offered, holding out a hand in greeting.
Privately he wondered if he really should've accepted this mission.
Blinking at the latest commotion, John turned towards the girl and closely examined her....an elf!?
"I suppose you can join us." Turning towards the Cleric, he hastily added. "If you don't mind."
"Really?" And he was even nice, a lot of guys weren't nice, she liked nice guys who listened to her, and it was good if they were handsome, too. She smiled at the loud Cleric, but especially at John. "I'm Lallie!"
Taken aback by the sheer amount of cheer Lallie possessed, John took a moment to recompose himself. Suddenly mindful of the crowd staring at them, he fidgeted slightly in place before responding in kind.
"My name is John Trueblade. The pleasure is all mine ma'am." He finished with a bow to the elven girl, before turning back to face the Cleric
"Another companion, the overenthused Cleric clapped the elf across the back as well, not pausing in his oration, "provided by THE CAUSE! Truly, the CAUSE is WITH US! We CANNOT FAIL! HAIL TO THE CAUSE!"
He paused a moment, glared at the assemblage, and called out again.
"HAIL TO THE CAUSE!"
"HAIL TO THE CAUSE!" thundered back the crowd, as some of the more enthusiastic members began carrying the three heroes out through the church doors.
"Hail! HAIL! HAIL! HAIL!"
*SLAM!*
The doors slammed behind the three, and the voices dissapeared.
A signpost presented itself to be read-
"Escaville- 2 miles.
Greycloak Forest - 3 miles.
Mt. Unpronouncalbe - 6 miles. Travel through Escaville."
"Well, we'll need better equipment if we are to rescue the Princess." John lightly said, gazing at the signpost thoughtfully.
"It's only two miles to Escaville too. I say we should head that way."
Meanwhile...
Hammerfist was a happy dwarf. He had a bucket in one hand filled half-way to the brim with ale. On his knee he had a bonny lass giggling at him as he described wonderous tales of going to interesting places, meeting interesting people, and killing them. Several of the men gathered glowered at the dwarf for monopolizing the time of the prettiest serving wench in the bar. Not that they'd use such a large word, since they were simple peasent folk. Still, they were angry all the same.
One of the men, duller than the rest, decided he had enough. The man abruptly stood and strode angrily toward the dwarf. The smarter men in the bar quietly paid their tabs and left. This still left quite a few people.
"I don' like you," declaired the angry man as he pointed an accusing finger at the dwarf.
Hammerfist looked over the pathetic weakling, and responded in kind. "The feeling is mutual, manling. Now leave me be. Cannae ye see that this bonnie lass an I are havin' an important conversation?"
If anything, the man became more angry. His face turned a deep purple. Before he could even cock back his fist to swing at the small dwarf, Hammerfist buried a ham-sized fist in the man's stomach, doubling him over.
Hammerfist gently set the girl off to the side before facing off to the rest of the bar's patrons, who had stood up.
"Just what I've been looking for. A fight."
The dwarf grinned wolfishly as he cracked his knuckles. He made no move for the axe strapped to his back that was almost as big as he was.
As one, the rest of the bar's human patrons charged the dimunitive dwarf. Hammerfist let out a blood-curdling scream of rage as he charged right back.
It really wasn't a very fair fight.
OOC: I forgot to mention this is the bar in Escaville. ^_^
Tavern.... Whatever....
Lallie nodded brightly. "Yeppers! I bet we'll just have loads of fun! We can talk, and play games at the tavern, and I can get some new bolts for my crossbows!" She beamed at the two men.
This was just going to be such a fun trip!
OOC: *sweatdrops madly* She's so bouncy. . . It's like me on steroids. . . Or me last night. . . . *looks thoughtful* Hm. .
OOC: Nitpick! Crossbows aren't cliche! Longbows are cliche!
IC: And so, after some travelling, the group arrived at Escaville.
And it WAS Good.
And in Escaville, there was a Noisy Tavern. There was also a City Hall, and a Blacksmith, and a theif who promptly stole all of John Trueswords gold and racked off to the tavern, and a-
Wait.
Theif.
Stole gold.
Oh dear.
OOC: *Blinks innocently* Is that my cue? Oh well, I'll behave as though it was. (If not, lemme know and I'll erase this)
Note: I'm mostly winging it here, as far as cliche goes. (My experience is limited)
IC:
Jean smiled to herself as she pushed open the door to the tavern and seated herself at a table.
Thank GOD for clueless hero-types. If not for the easy mark she'd encountered on her way to the tavern, this trip to Escaville would have been a total BORE.
Seriously! What was wrong with these villiagers? Not a single priceless artifact or immensely valuable trinket amongst them! It was like they were PEASANTS or something!
Jean shrugged and waved to the serving wench...
Hammerfist Axebeard payed no attention to the new human entering the tavern. He was sitting next to a heap of bodies taller than he was as he nursed another bucket of beer. The fight had been pathetic, to say the least. He hadn't even worked up a good sweat.
Storming up to the Tavern, John threw open the doors and stomped into the establishment.
Scanning through the crowd, John paid no heed to the huge pile of unconscious men near the dwarve.
Where was she?
"There she is!" John called out to his traveling companions, rushing the thief.
Lallie followed her adorable, handsome leader into the bar, grabbing the longbow and the arrow slung over her shoulder.
This was fun!
OOC: Dwarve? DWARVE? I'm a dwarve, am I? This insult shall not be forgiven!
Hammerfist the DWARF glanced over at the excitable human and his elven companion rushing over toward the other human that had just entered. His eyes gleamed with speculation as he noted the decidedly 'heroic' features on the male. Those types always had trouble following them. And usually they were involved with Quests against Impossible Odds. Just the kind of thing he had been looking for...
Jean looked up as the mark entered the bar.
Interesting. He'd managed to find her, despite looking as clueless as that cleric that was following him around.
In fact, had she been forced to lay bets, she would have fingered the elf-girl as the smartest one of the bunch.
Still, he had found her. This was not a Good Thing.
She tossed her long brown braid over her shoulder and looked up at the hero-type with wide green eyes, affecting her best 'innocent look'.
"Is there something the matter, my lord?"
Before James could reply, Fredumont strode forward, glaring down at the girl seated at the bar.
"Yes! We are adventurers, on a GREAT QUEST in service of the CAUSE - and YOU have STOLEN our friend's gold! In the name of the CAUSE, we DEMAND it's return!" The ranting cleric glared fiercely, "Hand it over, and we shall not SMITE you as a HERETIC in the name of the CAUSE, for the CAUSE is just and the CAUSE is MERCIFUL, and the CAUSE is-"
OOC: Et cetera. SOmeone wanna interrupt/do something/have a random bar patron smash him over the back of the head with a stool to shut him up, thus instituting a cliched barroom brawl? (hint hint)
Yeah, I know Tannim already had one. I don't care. We need another, 'on screen'. :P
By the time Hammerfist was watching the priest go on and on, ranting about a CAUSE, the majority of the people he had already beat on were waking up and crawling away. Some were staggering to their feet, and still angry, ready for round two. Also, many more people had entered the tavern, also fresh and ready for a fight.
Axebeard was getting bored of the rant. Several other people in the tavern were also glaring at the priest. Granted, this was good in the way that it confirmed his suspicians. But the damned priest was just too long-winded, and he wondered what he could do to stop the priest /and/ get into the good graces of the group so they would take him along.
One of the people who he had put down with a simple punch to the head finally staggered up and made their way to the door. As the patron passed in front of Hammerfist, he kicked the unfortunate man right into the priest, while yelling in a high pitch voice doing his best to imitate a human, "SHUT UP!"
The poor fool bowled the priest right over, and the priest didn't look happy at all.
OOC: Fresh new faces, old ones still ready to fight, what more could you ask for? ^_^
"...that we shall SMITE those HERETICS in the name of the CAUSE! HAIL to the-"
The cleric broke off suddenly as he staggered forward as someone crashed into his back. Turning around and throwing the staggering man to the ground, he glared at the man who had dared tell him to "Shut up!"
"You... do not respect the ways of the CAUSE! HERETIC! The CAUSE provides HERETICS for the SMITING!"
So saying, Fred picked up a nearby stool and flung it at the man.
Turning to the man next to him, Hammerfist whispered to him, "are you going to let that priest get away with abusing your fellow countryman?" Not bothering to wait for a reaction, Axebeard whispered the same words to the two other men seated near him. Predictably, all three men stood up in anger.
Various other men, taking their cue from the three also stood up. Their eyes had been on the priest, and hadn't seen the dwarf kick the man into the priest.
"How dare you come in here and attack us?!" cried one of the many tavern patrons.
The priest began, "The CAUSE is the-" before being interrupted by a beer stien to the face. Spouting about the CAUSE the entire time, the priest waded into the patrons weilding a chair, striking them down with his awsome might.
The hero-type and the elven lady looked a tad out of sorts of what to do, but were quickly swept into the heat of battle as angry patrons attacked them as well.
Hammerfist leapt up onto the top of a table.
"FOR THE CAUSE!" he boomed before reaching behind him and pulling out his axe. He used the weapon like a club, smashing the flat of it against all the men surrounding him. He jumped off and began methodically smashing people to the ground.
Unfortunately, in his overzealousness, Axebeard nearly killed one of the few non-combatants. The head he hit with the flat part of the axe had bounced off with such a force as to drive the spike end of it straight toward a young man in robes.
The young man was dressed in gaudy purple robes, with silver stars made of sequens adorning it. Several of the sequens had been torn off from use. The man was also wearing a pointed cap that was, if possible, even more gaudy than the robes; silver sequens nearly covered the purple of it.
With a small shriek of terror, the young man pulled his head down out of the path of the weapon like a turtle. The axe impacted the pointy hat and embebbed itself into the wooden wall of the tavern.
"Sorry 'bout that," mumbled the dwarf as he yanked the weapon free. He took a moment to pull the hat off the spike, and hand it back to the obviously frightened young man. "Excuse me, I've got a fight to win." Axebeard turned back into the brawl to continue with the fighting.
"Grr... damn you, you stupid dwarf!" said figure in purple robes cried in rage as his head was almost chopped off by Hammerfist's axe. "I, Heezan Idjit, will punish you!"
Thinking back to his lessons under the Great Teacher-Mage Largo, he began Lesson 1 of GTML... "Always taunt your enemies!"
"My l33t f1r3b4ll 5k1llz w1ll k1ll j00!"
With that, he launched a fireball at Hammerfist's direction. "D1e!"
The fireball flew straight and true. However, it impacted not on it's target, but on a person who had stepped into the line of fire in order to club the dwarf.
Hammerfist didn't even glance behind him as the irate wizard taunted him. Over the din of battle, he didn't hear it. The thing he did hear, however, was the screaming agony of a man on fire. He turned around to see a man drop a stool from his fingers as he writhed in pain, fire covering him. The dwarf looked at the wizard, whose hands were outstreached, and nodded gratefully toward him.
"Thanks for the assist!"
John sighed as he waded through the mob, holding his sword ready to use it on any that got in his way.
Honestly, didn't these people have anything else to do besides causing all this havoc?
Grabbing the back of the girl's shirt, he hauled the thief out of the Bar during the resulting chaos. After all, he had absolute confidence in his group.
Really.
Dropping her once they were outside, he glared down at her.
"Now...can you 'please' give me back our money?" He calmly asked, simultaneously sheathing his weapon.
"Grr..." Heezan growled, smacking the spellbook attached to his waist. "j00 n0t l33t!"
With another growl, he began flinging fireballs after fireballs in Hammerfist's direction. "Ph33r my l33t f1r3b4llz!"
Man after man fell to the onslaught of fireballs. Hammerfist was in the middle of a maelstorm of magic, miraculously untouched. He quickly strode forward, even as the fireballs followed him, and men to either side fell in droves; not just from the flat of his axe, but the firey death that rained from above. Hammerfist was having the time of his life as people dropped like flies around him, unaware that the wizard's ire was directed at him.
He hadn't had a fight like this in ages! He'd have to thank the wizard for the fireworks after this was done.
"The watch is coming!"
The tavern vacated itself with, quite frankley, amazing speed.
OOC: Kwok, get on AIM ^^ Gotta couple things to run by you.
Jean wondered exactly how he knew she'd done it. She KNEW he hadn't seen her.
She picked herself up slowly, adopting a wounded expression.
"What kind of man are you?" she asked tearfully. "How can you treat a woman this way?"
"He speaks the language of the damned! This is no ordinary wizard..."
Fred stepped up behind the young mage - who had, incidentally, stopped throwing fireballs at the call of 'Watch' - grabbed him, and before the younger man could react, had heaved him out a window onto the street.
Not noticing, unfortunately, that James (John?) was standing right outside the selfsame window...
"FOR THE CAUSE!"
Just inside the door to the tavern, Lallie stood against the wall, eyes wide and amused.
Men were very silly.
Damn watch, always breaking up good fights. There had been a lot less people last time, and subsequently he had finished his own brawl a lot faster; this time around, though, the watch seemed to have caught wind of it, and everyone had left in a hurry.
The pansies.
At any rate, Hammerfist strode out the front door unafraid of what he might find there. He was slightly confused at the sight of the wizard that had helped him being thrown out the window...
"1ll b8 b4ck!!!!!" the young wizard Heezan cried as he got threw out the window and landed on John.
"Oops!" He spoke as he got up off of John. "Sorry 'bout that!"
Looking up at the young man, John let out a sigh of annoyance.
'So much for that.'
Pushing himself up, he looked over at the girl.
Or rather, the spot the girl USED to be at.
"I'm having second thoughts about having taken up this mission." He muttered.
Jean peeked out from the shadows in a doorway several meters down from where she'd twisted free of the grip of the mark. She sighed.
"Close one," she murmured softly as she stole silently away. "I'd better get out of here. He's not likely to fall for the 'helpless woman' act twice. "
She disappeared silently into the village.
Lallie grinned, following behind the thief as they slipped through the village.
She'd felt bad, leaving John behind after he could've been hurt and all, but when the thief had 'snuck' by her where she had been standing by the door the whole time, it would've been dumb not to follow her.
She slipped through the darkness silently, breathing shallowly and pulling the hood of her cloak up to cover her face and blend in with the black of the night. It was almost like home, playing the hiding games with her friends in the meadows.
Jean took a long and winding route all over the little village, finally coming to a small inn.
She looked over her shoulder uneasily. She'd gotten away easily enough, but she had a feeling she was being followed.
She'd hoped she'd shaken whoever it was loose with the complex route she'd taken to the little inn she stood in front of, but she still had a nervous feeling at the back of her neck.
Brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, she ducked into the little inn to get a room and see if anyone followed her in.
Heezan blinked.
"Mission?" he wondered aloud. "What mission? Aren't we just in a bar room brawl or something?"
John blinked a few times before turning towards the wizard.
"Oh, I was just musing out loud. Sorry about that." Heading back towards the bar, he peeked in for his companions.
"Fred, where did Lallie go?"
Lallie stared at the door anxiously. She'd waited until the thief had gone inside her room, not wanted to catch innocent citizens up in the fight that might come. This was the part she hated. Going into a room where someone might be waiting to ambush her.
Sighing, she put one crossbow back, holding the other tightly in her right hand. Stepping up slowly, she paused a minute. Then with the speed born of a natural fighter, she shoved open the door and slid inside, pupils already adjusting to the darkness.
"Hello, Miss Thief? Can I have the money back?"
Jean resisted the urge to curse as she watched the elf-girl enter the room.
'Out of all the people to follow me, it had to be one of that bunch' she thought exasperatedly.
She wondered if she should make a break for the window, ultimately deciding against it, as the girl looked like a fighter. She was no slouch in that department, but she wasn't stupid enough to take on someone with a crossbow barehanded.
She sighed in defeat and pulled off the dark hood of her cloak, exposing her face to the dim light of the room. She walked over to a small lamp and lit it, smiling at the elf girl as she undid her hair tie, allowing the long braid loose.
"I'm sorry, Miss Elf." She apologized, still smiling. "I don't have it with me right now.
Lallie frowned. That didn't sound very true. "But you just took it. Where'd you put it? Take me there, so I can get it back. We need it, Miss Thief."
Jean shrugged.
"I gave it to the innkeeper on the way in," She explained. "He's put it in the strongbox for the night. You can go ask him for it, if you like. As for me, I'd like to go to bed, unless you insist on fighting now."
She considered a moment as she let her cloak drop to the floor. "Well, you know what I look like, so keeping it would be more trouble than it's worth. come back in the morning, and I'll return it."
Jean watched the elf girl, debating her options.
Fred blinked, looked around for a moment and blinked once more before clapping John across the back. Hard.
"Never fear, Friend James, for we are on a mission for the CAUSE! Trust in the CAUSE, and it shall LEAD us TO her! For the CAUSE is JUST, the CAUSE is GREAT, the CAUSE is WISE! The CAUSE is ALL! Indeed, the GLORY, the POWER, the the MUNIFICENCE of the CAUSE can truly be trusted! For the elf is one of OUR COMPANIONS, in our GLORIOUS, HEROIC mission for the CAUSE! And in serving the CAUSE, the CAUSE shall stand by us! It shall be our COMPANION, our GUIDANCE, our PROTECTOR! TRUST IN THE CAUSE, friend James!"
There was a long pause, followed by an embarassed cough from the cleric.
"Well, last I saw she was outside with you."
OOC: . . . I dunno about this. Bean, I tried to give you some leeway as to how to respond, but I don't know. *sighs* I didn't know how to respond. ^^;
She didn't know what to do. Lallie stared at the thief, considering. Purposely, she blocked the door and stayed near the windows. What was it her mother said about thieves? Chop them into tiny pieces with a knife? No, that was lettuce. Pound them with a hammer and then marinade them in lemon juice for an hour? No, that was her recipe for steak. Goodness, she was really hungry. What did her father say about food? Oh yeah. Tie up the rabbits so they can't escape. No, that was for thieves. Really, she needed to listen closer.
Wait, thieves? Lallie grinned. "You mind if I stay here for the night?" Without waiting for an answer, she took off her long cloak, revealing light green armor that hugged her frame tightly. Her own long braid hung down past her hips, smooth dark green. She twisted the cloth in her hands anxiously, grinning lightly. For a moment she just stood there. Then she lunged, putting her supernatural speed to use. Thieves were fast, they had to be, but Lallie had years of training with the bow and although speed wasn't her greatest strength, elves were fast. She could have most humans tied up before they'd have a chance to react. And a cloak would work just as well as a well-braided rope.
OOC: It's ok, Calendar. This is what i was expecting. ^_^;;; though maybe not quite with the tying up though, but still, Good job.
IC:
Jean looked at the elf girl, slightly startled by the speed with which she was bound. Slowly, a grudging smile formed on her face.
"I should have expected that," She admitted. "Are you satisfied I won't disappear now? I'd like to go to bed. We can go get the money in the morning."
Hammerfist Axebeard casually sauntered over to where Fred the Cleric was standing. Well, as casually as a dwarf decked out in armor and weilding a huge battle-axe could.
"Eh, this Cause thing wouldn't be against impossible odds, would it?" he asked hopefully.
OOC: You should have known better than to ask about the Cause. Ask any more cause-ish stuff at your peril. ^_~
IC:
"Well, no. Impossible odds would imply that we could not win! But with the CAUSE on our side, NOTHING is impossible! We shall SMITE EVIL, CRUSH EVIL, and BURN it like the HERETICAL thing it is! HAIL TO THE CAUSE!"
Sitting down on the bed, Lallie grinned. "Sure!"
OOC: . . . Sorry it's so short. I don't have anything else for her to do. >_<
Jean smirked at the elf girl's cheer. A bubbly type, but deceptively sharp. She gestured with her bound hands.
"Do I sleep here on the floor," she asked bemusedly, "Or will you help me onto the bed? Manuevering with these isn't easy..."
Hammerfist causually glanced around, as if the answer to his next question didn't really concern him.
"Weeeeell... Y'see, I was wonderin' if I could journey with you for a mite, seein' as how you're probably going to be getting in fights from time to time." Grimnir KNOWS that he hadn't been getting enough battle-time in recently.
Lallie grinned bashfully. "Oops! Here!" She grabbed the thief with one hand, pulling her up and setting her on the bed.
"So, what's your name? I'm Lallie!"
OOC: I suppose we could just end the scene there, assuming Jean introduces herself, so the night will be shorter, or we could go further. Whatever you feel like, I guess. ^^
Jean hesitated a moment, adjusting herself on the bed.
"Jean," She allowed, smiling gamely at the elf girl.
That did it. Jean relaxed on the bed, wondering why she gave her real name. She had no choice but to return the money now. The bonds were not a problem, thanks to the small knife in her sleeve, but now that the elf-girl...no, Lallie, had her name and a general description, running would be unwise. Her decision made, she nodded to the girl beside her.
"Pleased to meet you."
OOC: We can stop, if you like. Or we can go on. Going on would kill time until our GM decides to move the plot more...^_^
OOC: Bah! Blame it all on the GM...
IC: Somewhere far away...
"So, a bunch of church-hired heroes are out to rescue you from me? Hah! I shall eat you long before then!"
The princess struggled against the ropes that held her, but they stayed firm.
"How can you do this? Why do you hold me here?!"
"For your fathers insolence!"
"What?!"
"Ahh... you do not know... and you never will! Hah ha! HAH! HAH!"
*****
Back in Escaville, the next day...
A band of odd-looking travellers entered the village, each dressed in a low cowl and cloak. They all wore strange armlets, and seemed to be searching for something.
Six of them approached the town inn, while a couple of other went around asking questions about the OTHER band of travellers seen recently.
So... two of them went to where Jean and Lallie were.
*THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!* Three rythmatical knocks on the front door..
And in the inn, they simply barged inside, and began making enquiries at the lobby...
Edit: Since Rat's too lazy to fix his own typos, I'm forced to do it... ^_^;;
Jean stirred slightly at the commotion that echoed through the hall. Cracking open her eyes, she say nothing, save the unwashed sensation of sleeping in one's clothes. She tried to sit up but her was motion impeded. She looked down and saw the bonds.
Sighing, she managed to get herself to a sitting position. She shrugged her shoulders in a very specific way, and a small dagger dropped out of her sleeve and into her tied hands.
From there, she made short work of her bonds.
She turned to the elf-girl sleeping soundly nearby. "Now, I'm not running away, so just stay here, ok?" She murmured softly.
Now freed, Jean slipped silently from the room to investigate the noise downstairs. Taking up a position just ouside of view of the lobby, she began to eavesdrop.
Once again Graysol sat in front of the crystal ball. A frown appeared on his face as the new group showed up in the ball.
"So, the Ebon Hand begins to reach for the heroes."
Taking a long drag on his pipe, he continued to ponder these events.
"I do hope the young ones will be able to escape their clutches."
"A group of travellers booked in here tonight. One was named John Truesword. Where is he?" asked the lead man.
"Bah. Can't remember things like that..."
One gold coin.
"Come to think of it, I remember he was staying upstairs..."
Two gold coins.
"In room 2b... but the door'll be locked..."
Three gold coins.
"Wait, I have a key here..."
So the group of men travelled up to room 2B, and unlocked the door...
Jean slipped back down the hall silently. They didn't seem to be after her...but she had a nagging suspicion...
She ducked back into her room and shook the elf-girl awake.
"Elf-g...er, Lallie! Wake up! What was the name of the beefcake you were traveling with? Hurry, It may be important!"
Someone was shaking her awake. Lallie listened groggily.
"Beefcake? Sounds yummy."
She shook her head to wake herself up, then wondered what was going on. "His name is John Trueblade."
Jean frowned. That was too close to be a coincidence.
"A bunch of shady looking characters just paid the innkeeper to tell them where a 'John Truesword' was staying."
She paused, looking thoughtful. "It might be someone else, or they might be dumber than a sack of hammers, and couldn't get the name right. What do you think? Is your boyfriend in trouble?"
Lallie was standing up in an instant, longbow over her shoulder and crossbows on her hips.
"Let's go save Luvey-Muffy!"
Jean choked down a giggle at the pet name, then she statement hit her. She blinked.
"Wait just a damn minute. I'm no fighter! YOU go save him!"
"But, but. . ." Lallie trailed off, eyes glistening with tears. "I'm just a pretty, young, innocent girl? However will I overcome these strong men?"
Her longbow shifted on her shoulder, the arrow rubbing up against it. "And, and. . . just look at my hair!" She pointed up at the beautiful green tresses. "I could have some KNOTS!"
Jean fixed Lallie with a baleful stare. 'How on earth did I ever peg this girl as the smart one?'
"So what do I look like?" Jean huffed. "I'm a girl too! And I don't fight! You do!" She said pointing to Lallie's weapons. And pushing her to the door.
"So...GO!"
Lallie glared balefully at the door. So much for tying up the thief and getting the money back.
She headed to go find her Smoochie-woochie.
Jean realized she was alone again.
"Time to put this opportunity to good use," She decided, grabbing her things and slipping out the window.
Unfortunately for Jean... the Monks had placed one other monk on lookout, from which he lurked on top of the tavern.
He saw Jean... and began traling her movements from the window..
Perhaps good for a monk, but not so good a master thief wouldn't notice..
Steel rang on steel as John Truesword fought for his life, these thugs had taken him completely unawares as they rushed into his room.
Having grabbed his sword, he used all the skills that years of fighting had instilled in him. To no avail, he just couldn't win under these circumstances!
He winced as his arm was nicked by one of the men's blades. Chastising himself for being so careless, he begin to force his opponents back out into the hallway.
He wasn't going to die yet! He still had to see that reward money, after all.
Hammerfist Axebeard blinked tiredly as he exited his room to the sound of fighting. His axe was slung over his shoulder as usual. He was blinking furiously, trying to clear his head of the small headache he had from drinking the piss-poor human ale the night before.
Several cowled people were standing about the hall, while some of their number were gathered around the entrance to his new friend and ally's room, John Sword-something-or-other. It wasn't a proper dwarven name, but it was as close to one as any human was likely to get.
Hammerfist reached up and smashed the side of his axe against one of the cowled men to get the attention of the rest. A meaty -thunk- followed by a loud -thud- got the attention of several of the men.
"What's going on here, then?" he asked innocently.
Three things happened at once.
Firstly, with a loud puff of smoke, and appropriate thunder effects, a cowled figure, slightly taller than the rest, appeared in the middle of the room and began chanting.
Secondly, three men launched complex, synchronized attacks against John, with the intent of cutting him into more pieces than a can of dog food stuck in a blender.
Third, the OTHER three men launched not so complex and hardly synchronized attacks against Hammerfist, with the aforementioned intent.
The mage was reaching the end of his spell- a truly powerful magic..
OOC: And Fredumont the Cleric sleeps through the whole thing... wake up, Rez!
Jean picked up the rather inexpert tail before she was five steps away from the window.
She pretended not to notice and dashed around the corner as quickly as she could, found cover, and waited to see if the lookout would take the bait and follow her as she slipped the dagger from her sleeve again...
Lallie hurried up towards the loud sounds of fighting. Drawing her bow, she notched her sole arrow and pulled it taunt. Coming to the room, she ran in and shot.
The arrow flew clean and true...
...impaling the mage at the height of his spell.
Needless to say, the spell didn't go as planned. However, you can only have so much magical energy at your hand before it WILL do something, no matter WHAT happens...
An ultrasonic wail came from the mage, and temproarily deafened everyone in the room (As well as giving them a rather nasty headache.)
Hammerfist grimaced as he gingerly walked through the mess he had left behind in his fight. Rivers of blood was fine and dandy for the scholars, but the damn stuff clung to the clothes and boots, and it was easier to seperate a dwarf from his gold than scrub the stuff off. Wearing dark clothing helped, but only to a certain exctent.
Currently, he was using the bodies of his easily-despatched enemies as stepping-stones on his way to see what had happened in the room where the elf had charged into, and the loud sound had followed shortly after.
The rogue did indeed follow Jean, but had a nasty surprise ready for her...
He turned around the corner, dagger at the ready...
And pre-cast Stoneskin spell safely in place.
Jean quickly thrust with the dagger, groaning in dismay as the tip bent against her stalker's skin.
"Well, ****," She observed. "What's this about anyway? Is it the gems from the castle? I swear, Duke Agloman gave them to me as a gift..." she trailed off, backing away.
The assassin grinned, and slashed out with a longsword, chanting some kind of... prayer? as he went.
"Illiysium... Deum.... Arginum... KA!"
As he entered the room, Hammerfist saw John, Lallie, and three strange men all clutching at their ears or clenching their eyes in pain. Surprisingly, no one had begun to counter-attack after the loud sound.
"WHAT ARE YE DOIN', STANDIN' 'ROUND WITH YER HEAD UP YER ARSES?!" he bellowed.
All for naught. No-one seemed to hear the dwarf.
That was just fine with Axebeard, as it gave him a distict advantage over those who had their backs turned to him. It would cover up the sound of carnage that would normally alert them to his presence. He tapped one of the strange men on the shoulder.
In an exaggerated opening and closing of his mouth, Hammerfist said, "Die, you turd of a bastard toad," before attacking him.
OOC: 'Rat, Is the guy with the longsword attacking me? If so, what happend to the dagger he had a minute ago? Anyway, I'll treat as though he's attacking me, since no one inside matches the description...
(If it is not, in fact for me, tell me, and I'll delete it.)
IC:
Jean let out a shriek as the assassin swung, ducking quickly, and getting an impromptu haircut as the razor sharp blade sliced off her long brown braid.
As she felt her now shoulder length hair flutter around her face, she let out a VERY unladylike curse. Looking up, she decided now was no the time for a lecture on the sanctity of a woman's hair. Shooting the assassin an icy glare, she dashed back toward the window she'd exited from.
It would be easier to lose this jerk inside a building...
Uncaring of the loud noises emanating from across the hallway, Fred rolled over and continued snoring.
Like a chainsaw, really.
Good thing the party had separate rooms, or nobody would have gotten any sleep...
OOC: ...and Cheap-ass DM save! I hate it when I forget things like that >_<
IC: The assassin spoke a Word, and the longsword shortened into a dagger.
By it's very nature, a Longsword was Long, and somewhat difficult to fit into a small window. But the ever-useful Extendable Blade helped a great deal. And it was very useful when the opponent was running... they'd think you were too far to hit with the dagger, and BANG...
Then, the assassin dashed after Jean to the window, making a show of slashing wildly.
Noticing a commotion from the side of his eye, John finally realized one very important thing...
DO NOT LEAVE YOURSELF OPEN IN A FIGHT!
With that very important thought in mind, he shook off the haze of pain that had descended on him and attacked the man closest to him.
'I hope Lallie can handle the last man.' He privately thought, before turning his full attention back to killing the strange assasin before he could put up a defense.
Lallie smiled at the last man. "HI!" It was really mean if you didn't greet someone when meeting them. "Whoops, I just used my only arrow, didn't I?" She laughed. Polite conversation was very important.
Then she shot him.
OOC: Lallie DID just use her only arrow earlier, but it was enchanted. After it hits the target, it appears back in its case. ^^ She'll never run out.
OOC: o_O Lallie is one twisted elf ^_^
IC: The man's eyes were wide as he fell to the ground, clutching his chest in agony.
The last assassin was a bit of an oddity. He looked like all the others, but his blade flashed faster than the others, and, when it looked like he was about to lose...
...he pulled out another blade and began slashing away at John with that, always chanting the same strange words...
"Illiysium... Deum.... Arginum... KA!"
Jean dove through the window, making sure to keep one step ahead of the extendable sword.
She was beginning to get nervous. She KNEW she hadn't done anything to attract this type of attention...not recently, at any rate.
She tore through the hall of the inn, weaving around obstacles, hurriedly trying to lose the assassin with the extendable weapon...
Hammerfist considered attacking the last man from behind. On the one hand, it would be dishonorable to interrupt a one-on-one duel. On the other, he'd get to kill something.
Axebeard shrugged. If Johnny-boy wanted his help, he'd probably ask for it.
The dwarf had the most peculiar sensation as he sat down to watch the fight; he had a strange craving for little bits of corn heated until the popped.
Jean ducked into a room, noting as she ran that it was full...hey! it was the elf-girl's boyfriend!
She noted he was fighting someone and headed straight for him, and slipped between him and his opponent, narrowly missing being beheaded by his opponent.
"Whoops, 'scuse me, stud." She managed as she opened the opposite window and slithered out, trying not to panic as she tried to lose her pursuer...
Axebeard was so startled at Jean's intrusion that he nearly sliced her in two; in fact his axe was already on the way to do just that out of sheer reflex when she appeared behind him. Fourtunately, he was a tad slow, and she was very fast. Jean managed to get out of range just in time. It also helped she appeared on his left side, and he had to swing from his right.
However, the timing was perfect to send his axe unknowingly straight at Jean's pursuer...
OOC: Leaving it to the DM as to whether the guy blocks it or dies. ^_^
John calmly noted that he was starting to become hard pressed to meet his opponent. While they had the advantage of being relatively fresh, he had been fighting all this while.
Of course, this just HAD to be the time SHE had to show up.
His expression briefly turned to one of rage as that blasted female once again mocked him.
Resisting the urge to go after her, he channeled his anger to buoy his flagging reserves of energy. Slowly, his attacks began to recover their vigor.
The girl seemed to be helpful this time, at least.
The assassin seemed a little disconcerted as John regained the power behind his attacks.
He flipped backwards, and somehow produced a Wand.
He spoke a Word.
And Heezam Idjit, sorcerer-wannabe extrondinaire, was woken up by such a vast outlet of magical energy, it was impossible to ignore...
****
Somewhere far away...
"Shadars Primal Devastation!"
****
However, his more immediate plight was that a fireball just went off.
In the room right above him, as after he'd been dropped out the tavern, he'd failed to wake up.
It wasn't a lethal fireball, exactly, but it burnt off some leg hairs.
And some OTHER hairs, too.
When the smoke cleared, the only trace of the assassins... was a rather large scorch mark.
If Fred had a moustache, he'd be enraged. Luckily, he didn't.
Jean found cover on and ducked into it. She resigned herself to waiting it out.
He pursuer should have been caught up in the mess, but not sense taking chances.
And of course, a rather large hole.
The little group was somewhat burnt, but not fatally so. Lying on the rapidly crumbling wood of the tavern was a note, miraculously unscorched.
And the note read...
"Do not even attempt to stand against us. Bring the ransom to the scheduled place, or the princess dies."
OOC: I know I sound stupid, but... Can anyone translate Carthrat? What just happened?
OOC: That makes me sound like an idiot, you know >_<
a) Everyone was fighting, right? Eventually, there were two guys left, and one was fighting with John, and the other, who had a Stoneskin spell on, was about to chip Hammerfists axe.
Then, the one fighting John jumped back, and dropped a fireball.
It wasn't a lethal fireball- he's not skilled enough to make it so. However, it managed to weaken the wood sufficently to make to rather easy to break, and it thus crumbled.
There are now large holes in the wall (though not the floor), some rather smokey-looking people, and an incompetent sorcerer has just woken up. As has, presumably, Fred.
The note is designed to be mysterious. Of course, Fred knows where the place his, as he was around when the original ransom was demanded. However, he could still be asleep, depending on Rez.
*resolves to work a tad harder at his descriptions*
OOC:
And no, Fred is still asleep, 'cause the fireball went off outside - and if a fight didn't wake him, mere breaking wood wouldn't do it. >_<
Noting the silence, John decided to add his two cents in.
"Well...this just complicated things. Simple search and rescue? Oh now, we can't have none of that now." John sarcastically stated.
Sheathing his sword, he turned towards the others.
"Now then, time for all little heroes to get ready for the day." So saying, he gestured towards the door. "And I need to do so by getting dressed, so please let yourselves out."
Later that day, when everyone had sorted themselves out, the party gathered themselves around a table. Fred had been woken up, and everybody was tense about today's incident.
Everyone had read the note, and Fred was ready to tell them about the details of the ransom, as his faith had known the details from the king.
He opened his mouth...
And Jean promptly interrupted.
"I STILL don't see why I'm here." she scowled. "This is YOUR business, not mine."
OOC: I'm thinking it's one of those long-length tables, and not one of them round ones. That and POST YE LAZY SACKS OF GRAIN!
Hammerfist, sitting across from Jean, vainly tried to kick her shin underneath the table. His legs were far too short for the task, so he had to settle for glaring at the thief.
"Don' ye remember this bein' part 'o yer penence for yer crimes again' the church?" He leaned forward to underline his next words. "The only reason I an' the Cleric o'er there 'aven't cut ye in 'alf already?"
Jean glanced disdainfully at the dwarf.
"Oh, spare me, short, dark, and ugly." She said, irritatedly. "I gave the money back. Well, I left it where you could find it, anyway. And as for penance, It doesn't really matter if you cut me in half, or they do. Jumping into assassins nests is NOT my idea of a fun hobby."
Hammerfist Axebeard continued to glare balefully at the thief.
"Tho' assassins ain't what we're goin' to be worryin' 'bout soon," he said, genturing wildly with axe in one hand, occasionally thumping the haft against the table to make a point. "We're oof tae face yon dragon, who is bound to 'ave a 'orde larger than yea could shake a steek at." Hammerfist spread his arms wide as if his short appendages could convey the size of the so-called 'treasure'. He nearly beheaded the person sitting next to him.
As if an afterthought, he added: "An dun think if ye run away now, them assassins'll stoop botherin ya. They've seen ya with us, and will prolly try ta kill ye even if ye ain't journeying wit our lovely band."
Jean stared at Axebeard in disbelief.
"A...dragon. I'd rather face assassins, thank you." with that, she pushed her chair back, and made for the door.
"'Tis a shame," said Axebeard loudly and with great lament toward the back of the departing thief. "I dinna knoo what we're gonna do with all that treasure yon dragon'll have layin' aboot, noot tae mention the huge reward we'll likely get for sahvin' a princess."
Hammerfist nodded to himself as if talking to no one in particular. "Yep... Diamonds ahs beeg ahs yer fist... enough gold fer a person tae sweem in... priceless arteefacs o' power yon dragon is likely tae 'ave... I guess I'll just get tae keep it'all meself..."
OOC: Where are all the other people? ^^;;;
Lallie grinned. "A reward? We get a reward?!"
Beaming, she stood up and grabbed John by the arm. "Let's go get it! If I'm getting money, I can finally buy the new longbow at Yuln's Weaponry~!"
OOC: *quotes the Matrix* "Don't hate me, Trinity. I'm just the messenger."
In other words, this is all the GM (Rat)'s fault. Don't blame me ^_^
IC: Heezan's head jerked up at the sudden movement nearby. He almost sighed after taking notice of who the person was.
Lallie was so... perfect... she was nice... she was cute... energetic... and best of all, she likes weapons and stuff...
But she was also in love with Truesword...
Which meant he had less than a snowball's chance in hell...
Sinking his chin onto the table, he let out a long, quiet, wistful sigh.
Greysol watched the young ones argue among themselves. He knew they would work well together when they confronted their enemies.
A small smile appeared on his aged face. Soon another one would join them, and they would set forth to save the world.
Jean's path to the door faltered, and she stopped. for a long moment, she stared hard at the door.
Finally, she turned and looked evenly at the smirking dwarf.
"Nice try, shorty. Almost worked, too. But I'd have to be alive to enjoy it, and with what you're talking about...that's not too likely."
Nevagona Getz Lucky, traveling bard extraordinare, could feel his senses tingling. Somewhere in this town was money to be made and women to be laid. Now all he had to was find it and find a sucke-companion or two to do all the work for him.
That inn seemed like a good place to start.
"Crickey, 'Me wee bonny filly on the old outback road'..."
And his bagpipes began to play.
IC:
Fred looked around the table and opened his mouth once more.
"RIGHT! The CAUSE has given us a HOLY QUEST! In the name of this quest, we must go..."
He trailed off as the caterwauls of bagpipes wafted through a nearby window.
Fred's eyes went wide.
"HEATHEN INSTRUMENTS OF THE CALEDONIANS! We have a HERETIC AMONGST US! May the CAUSE strengthen my ARM that I may SMITE the HERETIC in THE name OF the CAUSE!"
Grabbing his hammer, Fred leaped from his chair and stormed purposefully towards the door and flung it open.
"Torturing defenseless cats is evil, and inflicting the abomination you call music on the ears of the innocent is unforgivable! I am pious and over-excitable cleric Fredumont! In the name of the Cause I will punish you!"
Striking a silly pose, Fred readied himself for battle.
OOC:
This is All Rat's Fault.
Heezan sighed again. If he had no chance with Lallie, he might as well take somebody down with him...
"You! Bagpipe guy!" he stood up suddenly stood up and faced the doorway. "Die! Lightning Bolt!!"
Holding both arms out in front of him, he let out a bright bolt of lightning coursing through the air towards the doorway.
... only to watch it do a U-Turn and smack him right in the face, sending him flying halfway across the room.
"Medic..."
Unable to hear anything over the wailing of his pipes, Lucky was forced to rely on reading the Tasmanian Devil-Hunting sign language of the strange hammer wielding man that looked like he might be important.
"Welcome - traveler - with - such - heavenly - music - you - have - just - won - town - lottery -"
Ah! How nice! He must be the town treasurer!
He signed back: "Great! -Now - where - can - I - get - women - and - booze- ?"
Sadly, Lucky was using the northern sign interpretation instead of the southern one.
Hammerfist walked over to where Heezan was looking blankly up at the ceiling and occasionally twitching.
"Are ye al'right laddie?" he asked. Without waiting for a reply he grabbed Heezan's boot and began dragging the hapless mage toward where that awful music was coming from.
"C'mon, boyo. Ye gots tae git back on yon 'orse an try agin. Ootherwise ye'll ne'er suceed in life."
"Ugh..." Heezan groaned. "I'm not that alright, H..."
Regardless, he wobbily pushed himself off the floor and back onto his feet.
"I feel like a billion volts just went through my body... too bad I'm not battery-operated."
OOC: You would have shorted yourself out if you were, Kwok. :P
Well... I am Dead Tired. So here's some randomness for you all. Good Night. ^^
IC:
Fred's eyes narrowed as the heretic began making hand gestures at him...
I - Want - A - Bowl - Of - Petunias - For - Brother's - Lunch.
Fred blinked.
"You are trying to CONFUSE me, Heretic?" he yelled, waving his mace around enthusiastically, "I am NOT SO EASILY DISTRACTED! In the name of the CAUSE, you shall NEVER take this town's petunias! NO HERETIC SHALL LAY HANDS UPON THEM!"
Jean stared at the chaos and continued to edge toward the door.
"Thanks, this is where I came in, I think," she murmured. "I'm DEFINITELY safer with assassins..."
She ran her hand through her newly shoulder-length hair. "It's fate," she muttered to herself. "I always have to fall in with asylum patients...."
IC: O_o The adorableness of Kwokie-chan. . . must stay in character. . . Hmm. . . ways for Lallie to accidentally annoy Jean beyond belief. . . sounds like a new game! ^_^
OOC: Beaming, Lallie grabbed Jean's arm in a viselike grip, and ran towards the fighting. "C'mon, Jeannie, let's go watch the fun! And it's such pretty music, too!"
"HEY! Leggo!" Jean yelped, while noting Lallie was a lot stronger than she looked.
"I don't WANT to! Oh god...All I ever wanted is loads of money without having to earn it...And now I'm gonna get killed by Pecs Flexalot and his band of lunatics..."
Lucky froze, unable to believe his luck.
A cute elf girl!
Sweeto!
Faster then a dwarf going after ale, the bard appeared right next to her.
"Hey babe! How about you, me, a bed, and about six gallons of the house special?"
OOC: She's. . . inconsistantly dumb. But. . . I figure if she understood that. . . then she'd be chasing him around with her crossbows. >_< Hmm. . . not a bad idea. O_o Eheheheh. . .
IC: Lallie blinked. "A bed? But. . . It's not night-time! A-and. . . you're a guy!"
She frowned, thinking very, very hard, relaxing her grip on Jean's arm. "House special?"
With a start, Lallie remembered a conversation she'd had with a Auntie Rain.
Use of slang to refer to a girl.
Stupid question involving bed.
Giving her a wierd look, complete with sideways smile.
Mention of alcohol.
T-this was a pervert! "Die!" Drawing one of her crossbows, she took a shot at the pervert. Auntie Rain had specified this very clearly. "When dealing with perverts, be sure to kill them first chance you get."
Jean blinked as Lallie released her arm. She intended to use this opportunity to vacate the premises...But, instead, began to giggle.
She'd have to remember the elf-girl's method when she next got groped at a local tavern...
"Wah!"
Lucky jumped and did the splits just in time to avoid losing his two best friends.
"Hey! Crickey that's not cricket you know!"
Dropping his arms on *both* girls shoulders this time, Lucky proved the old saying "it takes a special
kind of fool to be this crazy".
"But you can make it up to me with your friend here, I know some great tricks with sliced fruit and cream.
So what do you say?"
Jean raised an eyebrow, and stepped back.
"You couldn't afford me, sugar."
She gestured to Lallie, who's crossbow was still drawn. "He's all yours."
Lallie twitched. "F-fruit and. . . cream?"
That wasn't on the list.
In fact, Lallie liked fruit. And cream. But. . . this was definitely a pervert!
"Die!"
"But I'm allergic to death, especially me own!"
Lucky gave the violent elf girl his patent pending teary little boy look.
"Puwease! Can't we all just get along like mates?"
It would have helped his case more if he wasn't also trying to sneak a feel at the same time.
Jean leaned against the wall to watch the mayhem, crossing her arms under her breasts.
"Not too bright, are you, sugar?" she asked conversationally as Lallie fumed.
She shrieked at he felt her up. "Aieeeee!"
Stumbling back, she turned red. Bright, iridescent red. "A-ah."
She took cover behind her comrades. "K-keep him away from me!"
Heezan turned around in the blink of an eye, glaring death at Lucky.
"Get your hands off my Lallie NOW," he practically screamed. "You pervert!"
Mentally running over the list of offensive spells in his head, he recited a short chant, then let loose a brilliant fireball coursing through the air towards Lucky.
Lallie nodded stoutly. "Yeah, you keep your hands off Heezan's Lallie too!"
Wait a second. . .
"Heezan, you know somebody named Lallie just like me?"
Growling irritably at being ignored, Fredumont stalked up behind the distracted Lucky and raised his mace.
"Ignore me, HERETIC? In the name of the CAUSE, I will smite you!"
"Oh how soft, how firm, how deliciously...Oh dear..."
He'd finally noticed the big red ball of flame coming at him.
"This is going to hurt."
*FHOOM*
The explosion sent him flying...straight toward Jean!
"Leapin Lolligagers am I in pain! I need sweet loving to heal me!"
You had to give Lucky credit, he was persistant even in the face of pain and suffering.
Heezan's face flushed red at Lallie's question. He said that?
"Umm... err..." he stuttered. "Uhh... yeah... I guess... I think..."
Chuckling nervously, he idly scratched the back of his head, hoping Lallie would forget his little outburst.
Fred calmly patted the embers in his hair to put them out, then raised his mace and slowly turned to face Heezan.
"You would AID the Heretic, Heretic?" There was a pause. "You too shall be punished. ALL THE ENEMIES OF THE CAUSE SHALL BE SMITED! DIE!"
And with that, Fred charged!
Nearly faster than the eye could register, Jean's dagger dropped from her sleeve in into her hand.
She raised her arm, pointing it straight at the incoming Lucky. He'd figure out something to avoid it. She wasn't really worried.
"I warned you, sugar. You can't afford me."
Lallie watched everything with interest. Knives, fireballs, maces. This was fun!
She'd really have to meet Heezan's Lallie sometime, too. Anyone with her name had to be nice!
Heezan practically jumped five feet off the ground.
"Eep!" he cried. "It's the Attack of the Nuts!"
Panicking, he ran a list of spells through his head.
"Ah, what the hell!" he screamed, running away from Fred, casting a random water spell. "I hope this works!"
"I'm not looking to buy! I just wanna rent, mate!"
The bard turned his descent into a glomp. He took the dagger in his hat, which was fortunately a lot bigger then his head.
"Let's make down home fine music together, just you, me, and your friend, and that cute girl walking down the street and..."
...and he suddenly found a second dagger pressed in an uncomfortable location....below.
"Back away slowly...and you can keep Big Jim and the twins," She said, with exaggerated sweetness.
"Okay!"
His voice has risen a few octaves.
"I get the point!"
Lucky slowly and carefully backed up.
Once out of stabbing range, he pulled out a strangely familiar piece of cloth and blew his nose in it.
"I know when I'm not wanted."
It looked like a pair of panties. Very distinctly recognizable panties.
"So how about you sweetcheeks?"
Lucky was by the elf again.
A pervert never stayed down for long!
Lallie looks startled. "He has twins? Where are those? And who's Big Jim?"
This was getting confusing. . .
Lucky winked down at her.
"If you want, we can all get better acquainted so I can introduce them to you."
He grinned, with the eternal hope of the guy that never scores.
Lallie was prepared this time. She grinned, loving the feel of her crossbow. "This time. . . you're really gonna die!"
Taking aim at his heart, she shot.
*Click*
Lucky paused in the middle of his reflexive warding off gesture.
"Errr....I think you forgot to reload."
He pointed to the empty groove where the quarrel was supposed to be.
Then he grinned.
"Oh wee willie we willi be having a hot hot time tonight!"
Fred charged towards Heezan as the mage drew his arm back and threw a...
Ball of water? What the hell?
*splash*
A sopping wet Fred looked up and gave Heezan an infuriated glare.
"You DIE NOW!"
She stared at it in confusion. "Oh, yeah. . . I shot it off earlier, didn't I? Ah, well."
Grinning, she unlatched the other from her hip, and took aim yet again. And this time, she definitely had a bolt in it.
"Ah."
Lucky raised his hands in the air.
*Splat*
And was promptly run over by a fleeing mage and an angry cleric.
"Ow...."
"Eep!" Heezan squealed. "Cool off!"
Running as fast as he could, he tried to escape from Fred.
"Oops! Did I step on something?" he remarked casually. One look behind him convinced him otherwise though.
"Jean!" he cried. "A hand! Fred!"
She stared at the inert, crumbled body of Mr. Pervert. "Umm. . . I think that's punishment enough." She looked at him oddly. "Hmm. . ."
She kicked him sharply. "That's for being a pervert!"
And suddenly a woman's boot was planted firmly on his chest. Jean stood there a dagger in each hand.
"Nice trick with my underwear..." Jean hissed. "And now...hold VERY still while I decide what to cut off first..."
"Urk..."
Sheepishly he held up a pair of panties.
Unfortunately for him it was the wrong pair.
The gasp from the elf let Lucky know he was about 10 seconds away from some serious hurting.
Which left him only one option.
Slipping the mouthpiece of his bagpipe into his mouth, the bard blew a powerful blast that he aimed at the
underside of the two girl's outfits.
"Bardic Technique: Sonic Goose!"
OOC: Sonic goose: through the use of sound and air pressure, this technique mimics the effect of a pervert pinching one's bottom. Perfect for use in dances, opera, and other crowded areas with a lot of noise.
She twitched. Underwear. . . yep, they're off. Blast of air startled her for a moment, but then the crossbow was out again, and she shot.
Lucky's life flashed before his eyes.
Then the sound sharp pinch to the elf's bottom finally hit.
Her sudden shriek threw her aim off enough that the bolt landed by his head instead of in it.
"That was too close..."
Lucky started rolling, that old trick wasn't going to buy him much time...
OOC: Shade, I didn't really mind, because I wasn't expecting Lucky to take the hit, but could you please not write Lallie's responses again? I'd appreciate it.
IC: Lallie stumbled back, out of bolts and a bit shaky. She could chase after him with her longbow if she wanted, but. . . he might pinch her again. . . or feel her up!
It was definitely time to retreat.
She ran back to safety of her friends and comrades, however unhelpful they had been so far.
OCC: Sorry about that, I was running out of options to stay alive at that point. You're a little bit bloodthirsty. ^^'
IC: Panting in relief, Lucky looked up at the group.
"Truce?"
Jean's eyes widened briefly as she felt the pinch to her backside. Her glare turned murderous, and she stepped forward, adjusting her grip on her daggers.
He was going to die....oh YES he was...
Heezan did a U-Turn in his running from Fred and ran back at Lucky.
"Damn! You!" he screamed as he stomped repeatedly on the downed bard. "I! Told! You! To! Get! Your! Hands! Off! My! Lallie!"
Hoisting the trampled bard up by the collar, he held Lucky up in front of himself and turned around, getting a human shield to use against Fred.
Jean recoiled as Heezan snatched her prey. She sighed as the beating commenced.
"So much for killing him..." she sighed. "Oh well..."
She glance over at Lallie, who obviously didn't have much experience with this kind of thing. "You ok?"
"Ara...."
Now quite dizzy from several repeated poundings in the last few minute,
turned back to the guy holding him Lucky swayed from side to side.
What was that big red blob in the front of that guy's face?
One hand came up to honk Heezan's nose.
"Barroon! Barroon go honk honk!"
Lallie heard Jean's question, but was too busy looking around in confusion to answer. "Ah. . . where is this other Lallie? How come I never see her?
Turning to Jean, she smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine! But Mr. Pervert is really perverted."
Heezan was in the middle of opening his mouth to babble out a reply when he was honked on the nose.
"Itai!" he cried, and reflexively elbowed Lucky in the temple with his other hand. "Grr..."
Jean smirked, slipping her daggers back into their hidden sheaths.
"Most guys are, sugar. Just give them something else to think about, like a knee in the right place and they leave you alone."
"Aaa!"
Still holding onto the nose, Lucky fell back down.
"Oooo...lookie all the ugly wizards floating awound and awound..."
Lallie frowned. That place. . . yes, she knew about that.
Right between their legs. . . men were weak, weren't they?
Jean grinned as she saw the thoughtful frown on Lallie's face.
"You understand, I see." she chuckled. "Trust me. Works every time."
"ITAI!" Heezan screamed as Lucky fell down onto the floor, still holding his nose.
Toppling along with Lucky from the force of the pull, he landed on Lucky, accidentally slamming his forehead into the bard's face as he crashlanded.
Fortunately Lucky's head had built up some density (not like that!) and this latest trauma was just another in a long line of such.
However the situation he found himself in was enough to clear his mind...what there was of it.
"Hey! I don't swing that way pervert! My mates are wimmin! Get away!!!"
Accidently kneeing the perverted magic user in the crotch several times, the bard struggled free and staggered in the direction of the girls. It seemed that all the blows to the head had made him forget why he'd backed away in the first place.
Heezan yelped in pain as he was kneed in the crotch several times.
"Grr..." he growled.
Shakily getting up to his feet, he glared at the staggering bard's back.
"Get...away...from...my...Lallie..." he growled, from anger from both Lucky repeatedly bothering Lallie and from the pain in his groin. "Lightning... BOLT!!"
*Boom*
Lucky was experiencing Deja vu. Once again he was taking to the air care of Annoyed as Hell Wizard Airways.
And his destination was heavenly bliss in the form of a cute girl. Though they were sorta violent.
"Sweeto!"
*Twang*
The sound of a breaking lute string came from his back.
"Nooooo!!! It took me forever to get that thing finally back in tune!!"
With narrowed eyes, Fred tapped Heezan on the shoulder...
Hammerfist had only one thing to say about the entire situation, an old dwarfish saying that harkened back from the days of his childhood.
"Verin menchan una lebre," muttered Axebeard as he shook his head, and turned back into the inn to get more to eat.
Heezan was going to turn around and yell at whoever tapped him on the shoulder, but sweatdropped when he realized that he had largely forgot about his pursuer when he was busy beating up Lucky for groping Lallie.
"Yes...?" he said, turning around slowly.
...and the mace came crashing down.
"Ack!" Heezan cried as he saw the mace streaking towards his head. Panicking, he held up a hand to push at the handles of the mace, hoping to stop the strike. "I didn't help Lucky, dammit!"
The mace is rushing downwards with the force of a strong - and annoyed - cleric behind it.
Trying to ward it off is a panicky, wussy excuse for a mage.
Do the math.
:)
"AAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Heezan screamed as the mace landed on his head rather painfully, rendering him unconscious.
'I hope Lallie'll be okay with the pervert...' was his last thought.
Axebeard traded mute looks with Truesword. The dwarf shook his head and quafed another ale as the other man held his head between his hands and groaned.
OOC: At least, that's what I'm assuming he's doing, since he's not saying anything... =P (Hopefully, this will goad him into talking...)
OOC: Let's, ah, hurry things up, hmm?
Remember, a long time ago, Fred was about to start talking. It's kinda vital you here what he has to say, so try and get back in the tavern..
(OOC: Well it seems we're missing a player or three, which leaves the rest of us stuck ^^')
IC:
Lucky wondered if there was a free movie on this trip, time always seemed to slow down when he was being tossed through the air. He should be getting frequent flier miles the way angry wizards kept blasting him around with their unmanly fireballs, wussy lightning bolts, and little girl style Ultima spells.
OOC: Just a warning to everyone, but specifically Shade and Kwok ^_^. Don't overdo the whole perversion thing. It's all well and good to go after women, but when you start using the remarks for everything, it gets a tad sillier than this should be.
Remember, people. This is a Cliche Fantasy, not a Cliche Forum RPG, if you know what I mean. Don't escalate the stupidity any further than it already has been.
OOC: Hey! Heezan isn't perverted! ^_^;;
OOC: No, but you are ^_^
OOC: *smacks Rat* Hey! >_<
Everyone! Post! ^_^;;
*wonders when Heezan should wake up*
OOC: *sighs* I hate doing this >_<
IC: A few minutes later..
Lying against the tavern wall were Heezan and Lucky, who were now tied up, and would most likely remain that way until they agreed to be "Conscripted, Cleansed and Caused." Chances were they would be there for some time. Then again, with they're being relatively intelligent fellows, that might not be so long.
Once again, Fred opened his mouth...
...and closed it again, with an audible snap as his stomach started rumbling.
"Vital to the CAUSE as our mission is, amongst the SACRED TENETS of the CAUSE is that we must all eat HOTDOGS ON FRIDAYS! This is not only a FRIDAY, but it is LUNCH-TIME! Thus, in the name of the cause, I DEMAND HOTDOGS! HOTDOGS for ALL!."
"Go forth, valiant comrades! For in the name of the cause, we shall visit upon ourselves a RIGHTEOUS LUNCHEON!"
OOC: Rat, feel free to delete this, but certain people wanted me to post and I couldn't remember what you wanted me to say. ^_^
The barman grunted.
"It's Monday. We had the Escaville Games yesterday, which was Sunday, so now it's Monday. Stupid priests.. but I've got some gruel."
"Yeah!" Heezan rallied from his position of being hog-tied. "Food for all! Release me and we shall have righteous luncheon!"
He almost shuddered visibly as he said it. How could Fred SPEAK like that? But hey, anything to be released...
Lucky checked his bonds. Yup, good and tight.
Then he checked for a gag. None. Lucky!
While the others were distracted with their talk of hot dogs (and he wondered what kind of barbarians ate *dogs* for pete's sake) he hummed "The Prisoner's Lament" softly and was rewarded a moment later by the ropes holding him loosening and quietly slipped free.
Disappointed to find the girls nowhere in sight (or glomping range) the pragmatic bard decided to do what he'd intended before getting distracted. Namely, play a little music, earn a little cash, and find some suck-er-adventurer types to hang around to do all the hard work while he got rich.
Finding his trusty bagpipes nearby, Lucky began to play....again. ^_^
'O' the road be a mighty hard life mate, but if you wanna get rich its the right quick way to go...'
John's eyebrow was violently twitching by this point, and he decided he needed to get away...
Preferably before he snapped and went berserker, or some such.
THAT would just ruin his day.
Quickly sneaking out of the tavern, he breathed a sigh of relief.
FINALLY free from the insanity!
OOC: Olg, think about what you just said.
I'll give you a day to decide if you want to delete the message or not.
If you choose not to.. well, it's great fun for me ^_^
As John gave thanks to god for freeing him from the insanity...
*TarantaranantantantanTAAAAAA!*
A huge procession started walking through Escaville, waving giant banners. On the banners was a symbol of a scroll being clenched by a gauntleted hand.
"FOR THE CAUSE!"
"FOR THE CAUSE!"
"THE HOLY FRIDAY IS UPON US!"
"THE HOLY FRIDAY IS UPON US!"
"hangon, isn't it Saturday-"
The man who said this promptly dissapeared back into the procession. Muffled grunts soon came from this direction, but the trumpets and chanters were too loud for anyone to hear.
"HOTDOGS!"
"HOTDOGS!"
"GET YOUR HOTDOGS!"
"GET YOUR HOTDOGS!"
"FOR SUSTENANCE IN THE FORM OF PIG IS HEALTHY!"
"FOR SUSTENANCE IN THE FORM OF PIG IS HEALTHY!"
"AND THE HOTDOGS ARE ONLY A SINGLE SILVER PIECE!
With an offer like that, the villagers of Escaville couldn't back out on the feeble note that it was Saturday.
John looked on, jaw agape. To think that he once thought FRED was the biggest nutjob.
"I...think I'd better head back inside, that I do." With that, he dashed back into the tavern.
Slamming the door shut after him, he breathed a sigh of relief.
He'd rather deal with the KNOWN wackos, thank you very much.
Hammerfist grumbled a bit under his breath. When would they get back to fighting the forces of darkness?
In the meantime, Axebeard decided to chow down on some hotdogs. Delicious!
Munching on a hotdog RIGHTEOUSLY, Fred looked over his companions.
"Right. The ransom note said that we had to travel nraagumf" he took a bite from his hotdog "through the forest, and to the" he munched some more, then paused.
"This is an EXCELLENT Hot Dog! The CAUSE is TRULY WITH US in our RIGHTEOUS LUNCHEON this DAY!"
He paused and finished swallowing his Hot Dog before continuing.
"We need to be there in two days time, but by the grace of the CAUSE, I know that WE can ACCOMPLISH this heroic FEAT."
Fred was about to continue talking, but a strange look came over his face.
His eyes bulged out, and he started hacking. Panicking somewhat, he began pointing at his throat. His face was turning blue, and he didn't seem to be breathing..
OOC: Rez, you are ASKING for it ^_^
I guess someone better save him ^_^
OOC: Rat, he had eaten and swallowed the hot dog about two thirds of the way through my post. o_O
OOC: Rez... I'm warning you...
Ah! A chance to integrate himself among what looked like a stout...er...heroic...er...expendable
(yeah, that worked!) bunch of adventur-er-arrow fodder. Their poor violent madman was choking!
It was time for great justice! Lucky style!
"Allow me!"
The bard shouldered his bag pipes and pulled his trusty (and currently out of tune) lute off his back.
Grabbing it by the narrow head, Lucky took a few practice swings in preperation for the "El Kabong"
Lock manuvuer.
Then he swung with all of his might at the back of Fred's head.
"KABONG!!!" he yelled, (as required by Bardal lore).
Fred's mouth opened, and a small piece of meat flew out of it and hit Heezan in the eye.
OOC: /me gets bored.
IC:
Jean sighed. She really should have left after the incident with her underwear, but sheer morbid curiousity made her hang around.
However, this 'luncheon'...it was trouble. Nothing useful would be accomplished by staying here. In point of fact, she would mark this group lucky if they hadn't killed each other by sunset.
She got up silently and walked out the door, bumping into Trueblade, his name was, as he was coming back in. She muttered an apology and continued on her way. Once she turned a corner, she grinned, and pulled out his coin purse that she'd snatched while bumping into him.
'This should be payment enough for making me into a target,' She thought to herself, grinning.
"ARGH!" Heezan screamed as the foreign piece of cooked flesh smacked him square in the eyes. "Damn you!"
"Chain lightning!" he cried out his attack.
... a second later, he realized what he just did.
"Oops..."
The lightning bolt that erupted from Heezan's fingers zapped straight towards Fred, who felt the full blast of roughly 1000 volts through his armour and collapsed on the table, unconcious.
From there, the bolt travelled to a couple of innocent townsfolk, and made full circle and hit Heezan, who cried out and slumped over, also unconcious.
OOC: And the DM wins again!
Now, Rez, when I wake you up, if you dodge again, I kill you ^_^
John sighed as he was starting to be forced to persue more...extreme measures to get his money.
Picking Fred up by the collar, he began heaving the loud mouthed priest back and forth with the strength only greed can inspire in a person.
Then he realized that a very important weight was missing from his hip.
"My money!" He yelled, dropping the priest like a hot potato. Oddly enough the resulting shaking caused his drink to accidentally fall off the edge of the table..
And right on Fred's face.
Not even noticing (or caring), he dashed outside in persuit of the little hood.
TWICE! SHE'S DONE THIS TO ME TWICE ALREADY!!! He mentally raged, feet pounding on the street furiously.
He quickly and forcefully pried information out of everyone he saw, finally coming to a conclusion..
An hour later he stormed back into the inn, went up to his room, grabbed his travelling bag, and stormed out.
He would NEVER let this transgression slide!
Lucky followed the suck-er-his chosen adventurer.
Having collected a fair amount from the inn's patrons for his performance,
the cunning bard added it to the coins he'd lifted from the unconscious mage
and cleric. They'd owed him for performance, and Lucky *always* got payed.
Sooner or later. But usually sooner.
Now off to riches and glor-er, nah, just riches!
Jean promptly left town, while the coast was clear. Heading north, she promptly put as much distance between herself and the pack of weirdos as she could...
OOC: I'm confused.
(A) Did John spill the drink on Fred an hour ago?
(B) Or did he just do it then?
(C) Would Fred seriously be woken up be a mere drink?
(D) Would the glass cracking him on the head wake him up instead?
(E) Do I have any more dodges?
(F) Am I getting repetitive?
(G) Who knows?
(H) This A-B-C crap has gone on long enough, so I'll stop here. ^^
OOC: Rez- this drink is Algorian Firebrandy.
It BURNS.
Fred has most certainly been woken up, because I'm not planning on sticking around Escaville.
To the rest of you: Your characters are now officially killable. While I'm pretty lenient (you KNOW I am), if you screw around for such a period of time that it get's annoying, I'll have to do something.
And yeah, I'll be punishing mistakes here...
Anyway. If you havn't yet, provide some post of you joining the party and heading north or whatever, and I'll be able to get going.
Hammerfist begins to head north. Who's going with him?
Heezan stood up groggily, shaking his head. "Ugh..." he groaned. "Did anyone get the number of that lightning bolt...?"
Catching Hammerfist moving north on his journey of waking-up, he began to follow. The dwarf was pretty cool...
"Hey, wait up!"