12. I don't think you can really choose how you feel about something like that.

[Corwin]

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[15:00] <Kallen> The shrillness of her laughter prompts Ted to start awake; he looks wildly around before his eyes settle on Ivy, and he starts to his feet.
[15:03] * Ivy lets her head drop to her pillow.
[15:04] <Kallen> Ted walks towards the bed and and crouches beside it, concern etched across his features. "How are you feeling?" he asks, sounding oddly detached, as though his lines are rehearsed.
[15:06] <Ivy> Her laughter subsides by this point, and Ivy sighs deeply. "I didn't sell them out," she responds, "but all the same, if I had never existed, my family would still be alive and happy now. How should I feel?"
[15:07] <Kallen> "Um... I don't think you can really choose how you feel about something like that," replies Ted, answering honestly.
[15:09] * Ivy nods slowly. It's really not something that can be resolved by talking, after all. "I gave my tears away to escape my prison, but if you could spare a few for my parents and siblings, I would deeply appreciate it," she says, slowly getting out of her bed.
[15:16] <Kallen> Ted looks slightly flustered. "Um. I'm sorry," he replies, quietly. "I can't think of anything but how hard it must be right now." He flinches a little.
[15:18] <Ivy> "I did worry about whether I would wake up alone, if I did wake up," Ivy tells him, smiling. "You've already done all I could hope for. I just hope I didn't scare you by how I must have acted."
[15:20] <Kallen> Ted looks away. "I don't think I was the scared one, there," he admits. "I called home and told them I was staying over somewhere, I didn't know when you'd wake up or anything. And, I mean, I guess you wouldn't have wanted a hospital or anything, right? So..."
[15:21] <Ivy> "Thank you. If I left whatever meager protection my home provides to spend the night in the hospital, I would be dead or abducted back to Arcadia. Did anyone look for me? Call me?" She looks around for her cell phone.
[15:23] <Kallen> "There was one call, but I didn't answer it," he replies. "I mean, your phone was in your pocket, and, uh..."
[15:25] <Ivy> Just the one call? Curious. Ivy checks her missed call list. "It does seem like I've missed my noon appointment, judging by the time, but if I apologize and explain the situation, it should be alright."
[15:25] <Kallen> There actually appear to be two missed calls, and one is from the Spring Queen's secretary; however, it took place within the last hour, unlike the earlier call from Miledy.
[15:27] <Ivy> "Ah, how lovely, I have messages," Ivy murmurs. "Could I trouble you by asking for a glass of water?" she asks Ted, listening to them in order.
[15:27] <Kallen> "Yeah, sure," he responds, vacating the room. (More)
[15:29] <Kallen> Lisa's message is somewhat panicked. "Morgan, the cops are all over the library! If you get this, call me back. If you don't, well..." (More)
[15:34] <Kallen> "Look, be careful, and don't go Hedging if you can help it," she adds, hurriedly. "I've got some stuff you need to know. Be in touch." Miledy's message is less hurried; slightly offended, perhaps. "It is unfortunate that you couldn't make our appointment, and I can only hope what drew you away was something of terrible importance. However, I would be much obliged if you could do me the favour-
[15:34] <Kallen> "-of informing me of such changes. Please call me when you are ready to reschedule."
[15:35] <Ivy> Lisa's message sounds magnitudes more important, and Ivy dials her number as soon as both messages end.
[15:37] <Kallen> The first thing Ivy hears is a sigh of relief. "Good. You're alive," says Lisa, muffled over the other end, before it segues into demands. "What took you so long? Been in the Hedge?"
[15:40] <Ivy> "Only during the night, to hide. I found a serviceable getaway. As for today, I lost track of time due to an induced flashback of Arcadia, so let's not talk about that. You mentioned cops at the library, Lisa?"
[15:43] <Kallen> "Uh... ok. Right. Yeah, they're still there, canvasing it. From what our contact said, there was a shooting in the basement, it hit.. Gareth? You know him? He's not dead, but hovering around there, and the cops have no clue who the shooter is."
[15:44] <Ivy> "I... actually do," Ivy says slowly. "The cops don't have a clue, but do we?"
[15:46] <Kallen> Lisa's frustration is tangible. "The library's got computers and cameras and things, I guess, but we don't have access to that right now. Nobody can get in touch with Spanners, either." Ivy knows that the basement doesn't have any cameras in it, but there's always the doors...
[15:48] <Ivy> "I could try to make a few calls and see what I find out," Ivy offers.
[15:52] <Kallen> "Yeah, well, we already tried Charlie, and he's not picking up either," replies Lisa. "We're trying to get someone into the hospital with some fruit, then maybe we can figure out who did it. God, it's all so random..."
[15:54] <Ivy> "I could do that," Ivy offers. "Just let me know where to pick up the fruit and all the relevant details about the hospital. And also, you mentioned staying out of the hedge, but it is actually my best way of avoiding trouble, at least for the nights. Why should I pass up on it?"
[15:55] <Kallen> "Look, fuck, I don't know. We had a couple of people who go there for fruit-picking saying that some paths aren't leading to the same place anymore, and the whole atmosphere seems tenser, bloodier. Like... what's happening around here is seeping back into it. I guess if you've got a nice hidey-hole you can dodge that, though..."
[15:58] <Ivy> "If the paths stop making what little sense they do next time I go, I'll stay away from that point on," Ivy muses. "Alright. The hospital, then, and I could try working on breaking up the gangs after that. It about covers things?"
[15:58] <Kallen> "Um, the fruit. Right," she adds, hastily. "You sure you want to do it? I'll be honest, we only just started on this. Still in the planning stages, you might say. We're doing it like pros. That is, as pro-like as it ever gets around here. Anyway, it's down at Valiance General, I think he's probably in surgery now. Gareth Pine's his name, um, he'll probably be put in a ward..." (More)
[16:02] <Kallen> "And I guess it does. Look, we're gonna try and put some feelers out to people in the Winter Court- I've already had the Summer King call me and rage for a bit, but he's, er, not what we need right now. A new Winter King, that's what we need. You want to look at the gangs, we'll play politics? Can't go putting it all on you."
[16:10] <Ivy> "A bit of rage? Sounds utterly delightful," Ivy comments, rolling her eyes. "And let's go with that for now. You got me to wonder if I shouldn't try to work on the aspect of politics instead, but it feels too much like giving up without even trying. I'll do my best not to perish in a random shooting while dealing with the gangs and working to stop their war, then."
[16:13] <Kallen> "I'll let you know if there's anything else you can do. Oh. And we can't get to Charlie. So someone's gotta pick up the tokens we dropped off at his place. Really, they're super important, and if you're dealing with the gangs..."
[16:14] <Ivy> "I've never actually visited, so just tell me where to go and I'll get them."
[16:15] <Kallen> An address is given. "And as for fruit, er, you got any? I'd need to get a guy to pass them to you at the hospital..."
[16:17] <Ivy> "I don't usually carry them around, no. Think you could arrange for it?"
[16:18] <Kallen> "Yeah. You need anything, yourself? Like, I don't know... some cash? A weapon?" She sniffs. "I wish I could offer you a plane ticket."
[16:19] * Ivy swallows her pride, and says, "Nothing at present, but I might have a personal request, if it comes to that. I'll call you if that happens, if that's alright?"
[16:20] <Kallen> "I'm pretty fucking busy right now, if you think you're gonna need something now's the time, really."
[16:22] <Ivy> "It's nothing like that. I have a contract with a friend, but he'll be in a bad place if something happens to me. That's all."
[16:23] <Kallen> "Um, right, okay. Let's hope you don't call me, then."
[16:23] <Ivy> "My thoughts exactly. Unless it's with an update on my successes. Till later, Lisa?"
[16:24] <Kallen> "Good luck, and all that."
[16:25] <Ivy> She'll forge her own luck, just the way she likes it. Despite the somewhat depressing ending of the call, Ivy can't help but be uplifted overall. Miledy is next, and she calls her number.
[16:27] <Kallen> "Ah, Miss Morgan! I was very worried you no longer wished to speak with me!"
[16:29] <Ivy> "I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth, Miss Blossom," Ivy responds, matching her tone to perfection.
[16:30] <Kallen> "I'm very glad to hear that. May I ask what kept you from our rendezvous?"
[16:31] <Ivy> "I would prefer to go into that in person, if at all possible. Strange though it may sound at first, it is directly related to our discussion. When can we reschedule?"
[16:32] <Kallen> "Would the same time tomorrow be suitable?"
[16:33] <Ivy> "It should be. Your evenings are booked solid, I understand?"
[16:34] <Kallen> "It is the nature of the game, I'm afraid. Well, then, let's meet tomorrow."
[16:34] <Ivy> "Tomorrow noon it is."
[16:35] <Kallen> At some point, Ted had returned with a glass of water, as well as a plate of buttered toast; he sets them on the bedside table.
[16:38] <Ivy> "Thanks," Ivy mouths to him, picking up the glass of water, and tries dialing Charlie. He and Phi would be her only leads about the happenings in the library.
[16:38] <Kallen> Charlie does not answer his phone! Although it rings out, so it must be connected somewhere...
[16:38] <Ivy> Lisa already alleged to this. Frowning, Ivy tries Phi instead.
[16:39] <Kallen> Phi's phone, however, cannot be connected at this time and is not in service range!
[16:40] * Ivy resolves to try again later. "Well, I'm on my own, where that goes," she muses, starting on the toast.
[16:42] <Kallen> "It's fine. You're gonna head out by yourself?" asks Ted, taking a seat.
[16:44] <Ivy> "A doctor I know was shot, apparently," Ivy responds. "We have a remedy that would save his life, but someone has to step forward and get past the cops and doctors to deliver it to him. He might well die, so...."
[16:45] <Kallen> Ted nods. "So you're going to be the one to do it?"
[16:45] <Ivy> "You could come along if you want? But yes, pretty much."
[16:47] <Kallen> "Why not?" asks Ted, after a moment. "I mean, at this point, it doesn't really matter if I want to close my eyes to what's going on, right? It's still happening, and you're telling me, so..."
[16:49] * Ivy smiles. "Let me wash up and we'll be on our way, then."
[16:50] <Kallen> roll 6d10
[16:50] * Hatbot --> "Kallen rolls 6d10 and gets 34." [6d10=7, 10, 9, 1, 4, 3]
[16:50] <Kallen> roll 1d10
[16:50] * Hatbot --> "Kallen rolls 1d10 and gets 5." [1d10=5]
[16:50] <Kallen> OOC: Ok. You don't drive, so! Choice of transport?
[16:52] <Ivy> OOC: TAXI
[16:53] <Ivy> roll 6d10
[16:53] * Hatbot --> "Ivy rolls 6d10 and gets 22." [6d10=1, 9, 1, 2, 1, 8]
[16:56] <Kallen> Ted and Ivy soon emerge from her shop to catch the taxi ordered for her. As Ivy opens the front door and begins to sit down, she suddenly notices that the driver's uniform is a rather tight fit, a realization that is replaced with a flash of horror when she realises the clothes are literally stiched onto his skin around the edges.
[16:58] <Ivy> "My, I forgot something back home," Ivy says, stepping out. Her arm reaches out and grasps Ted's shoulder. "Come help me find it."
[16:59] <Kallen> The driver sits motionless within the cab, while Ted looks on, confused, and follows Ivy back inside...
[17:00] <Ivy> As soon as the door closes, Ivy shudders, wrapping her arms around herself. "That thing wasn't human. Let's wait a bit and try the bus. There'll be space to escape if anything like that boards it, at least."
[17:02] <Kallen> Ted flinches. "I could've seen it," he mumbles. "I mean, it looked fine to me, right? But if it wasn't for our contract, I'd be able to see things like that easily. I think. Would I?"
[17:03] <Ivy> "If you notice. Even being able to see doesn't mean you always realize something is wrong." Ivy peers through a window to see if the cab had left.
[17:03] <Kallen> The cab remains, waiting!
[17:05] <Kallen> "Ah.. even so, two pairs of eyes are better than one..." murmurs Ted, glancing aside. "But things look back, too, you said... er, the bus. They don't leave often this time of night, and we might actually have trouble getting back." He straightens up a moment. "Duh, I rode my bike here. Don't think it'd be that far to the hospital on it. But then only one person can go, argh!"
[17:08] <Kallen> Suddenly, Ivy's phone rings, and the call screening indicates that it's Phi.
[17:08] <Ivy> Running away or hiding and waiting for the danger to pass are Ivy's first instincts, but as usual, she ignores them. "Getting back won't be a problem. If we look for transportation separately, you probably won't draw those things to you. I'm the beacon, not us both. Let's focus on getting there, first. When is the next bus to the hospital? If we arrange to leave to get to the station in time--" As the phone interrupts her, Ivy raises her hand and answers it. "Yes?"
[17:09] <Phi> "You called?"
[17:09] <Ivy> "And you were out of service."
[17:10] <Phi> "Long story. I've had one hell of a night, okay?"
[17:10] <Ivy> "Day, you mean?" Ivy shakes her head. "Fun as it is, though, I think we've had enough idle banter for this call. Did you ever find a new car?"
[17:11] <Phi> "Day, night, same thing. And no, I've been walking since we picked up Marduk. Don't tell me you called me up just to brag about something you managed to come across."
[17:13] <Ivy> "I don't brag," Ivy states in a huff. "Listen, I called you since I heard there was a shooting at the library. Charlie isn't picking up, either. What's going on?"
[17:14] <Phi> "Charlie I have no clue about, but we've lost the Library. Some shadow doc decided that he wasn't going to let the King win us the war and sold us out to the cops. He's been taken care of."
[17:15] <Ivy> "By you?"
[17:15] <Phi> "What does it matter? If it's for the good of the freehold, no-one deserves the credit."
[17:16] <Ivy> "What about Marduk?"
[17:17] <Phi> "No clue.
[17:18] <Phi> "Apparently the Mountain King took him in."
[17:18] <Phi> "That's all the Handyman told me about it."
[17:21] <Ivy> "I see."
[17:21] <Phi> "So, you happy now? I'm not in the mood to give you a long and painful breakdown of where I've been and what I've done. I've still got work to do."
[17:24] <Ivy> "I still haven't been killed by horrible things. Are you sure you want to keep at it? Just how is lashing out murderously at everyone who disagrees leading to a way to keep us all safe? Can you even be certain that doctor decided on that, and it wasn't just the Mountain King's whim?"
[17:27] <Phi> "We're not safe. Don't you get it? We're never gonna be safe. What have we been doing all this time, Ivy? Running like shit from an enemy we can't even freaking see. We're all scared. Terrified. And it's gonna be like that for as long as the Fae are around. Personally, I'm not seeing why I shouldn't at least try to take that fear and turn it into something useful. I'm sick of being afraid. Aren't you?"
[17:31] <Ivy> "The only thing I am afraid of is losing who I am," Ivy responds, shaking her head even though Phi won't see it. "We're still human, you and I, despite what we went through. You want to become ruthless like the Fae to win? Succeed or not, you won't like the results, I guarantee it. You can't eliminate fear, because it's foolish. Everyone feels it at some point. What sets us all apart is how we deal with it. Instead of letting it rush us into hasty decisions filled with regret, we should keep in mind what is truly important. Is following the Mountain King really that easy for you, Phi? He exiled me and consigned me to death. If you truly follow his path, then I am at home. If you agree with him that I should die, why not come here and kill me?"
[17:35] <Phi> "Truly important? Sure, you go back to your little flower shop with that boyfriend of yours. Try and pretend you still fit in. Try to ignore the fact you cry yourself to sleep every night, dreaming about things you wish to whatever sick god is up there you could forget. We're lost, Ivy. It's already over for us."
[17:37] <Phi> "And before you try giving me that sort of moral fuckup, I've got better things to do. Things that will actually shift the balance. Killing one deserter to the cause is a waste of time right now. Maybe when we've made it to the end of all this, when we've managed to free ourselves from this bullshit, you can come back and grovel your case in front of the King. Until then, you're not worth it."
[17:39] <Ivy> "We're not lost! I recalled Arcadia, and I recalled my darkest moments, and I'm still here. I'm still me, and I'm not going to lose this. You try to sound tough, but it just doesn't work when you also come off as so afraid! And deserter? He is the one who betrayed us all! Phi, if you stay with him, you are giving up on your future! I don't know what he did to make you follow him, but put your trust in me! I'll help you in his stead!"
[17:41] <Phi> "Help me? Help me with what?! Help me get my life back? Help me realise this is all a dream and I'm still some nerdy, well-intentioned kid who fell asleep at his computer? What the hell do you think you can do for me now?!"
[17:43] <Ivy> "I can listen to you, and I can genuinely care. Does the Mountain King? I can try to help you work things out, with the police or with people from your old life. You might think it is impossible, but it only is if you give up on ever trying!"
[17:45] <Phi> "Look, woman. I've fucked up. I fucked up really, really bad. I...did things I regret. For...no good reason. Things I...can't just throw away and forget about."
[17:47] <Phi> "People are dead. Whether I keep going or I stop, I'm still a murderer. So by now, I might as well try and make something useful of myself at the very end. It's like in chess - if you've got a piece that's gonna get captured whatever you do with it, you may as well make SOMETHING worthwhile of it before it dies."
[17:49] <Ivy> "You don't have to forget about them! But that and forgiveness are two different things, Phi! If you do something you regret, what's the right choice? To do more of it, or to try and make up for that? Everyone makes mistakes, but how we act afterwards is far more important! If people are dead, the solution is never to kill more! You are not some chess piece! You are a person! What you're saying, it's just how you're trying to convince yourself. Deep down, do you really believe it? You're still talking to me, so even though you've said it's hopeless, aren't you hoping someone would show you a different way? It's there, so just believe in me!"
[17:50] <Phi> "Sorry, Ivy. Can't do that. If I sit and look at what I've done, it hurts. It hurts more than anything else could. Lot more comfortable just to play along and stop thinking, you know?"
[17:50] <Phi> "...Thanks, but you're wasting your time on me. I'm Stormbringer, remember? I don't need anyone's help. Maybe I'm living a lie, but it's one hell of a comfortable one."
[17:51] <Phi> "...Stay safe. Things are about to get dangerous in this city." Phi hangs up...
[17:52] <Ivy> "If that's how you're going to be," Ivy says, glaring at the disconnected cellphone, "then I'll be the one to stop you!"

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