[Haruhi] Later

[Brian]

So, I've finished rewriting this, evidently....

Much to my surprise, a number of people preferred the original ending -- I really didn't, but now they're both readable here:

http://pishoque.net/brian/fanfic/later/

[JonBob]

I suppose part of the reason that the older version is preferred by some is because it seems more... complete? Like, the epilogue added a fair bit and was a strange tie back into the story. Also, the revision sorta feels a little like the "big reveal" to Haruhi was just kinda forced in there.

[Brian]

I think that's a problem that mostly only becomes visible when you contrast the two versions.  I rather suspect if the ending I prefer was the only one written, most wouldn't have any complaints....

There is the fact that it does seem like I'm choosing (I think) the 'safer, less ambitious' ending.  I guess I can't really deny that in some ways that's the case, but as has been pointed out elsewhere, it seems the story would have to be changed substantially to make the original story something I'm happy with.

While it could be done, I think I'd have to give up a lot of the things that make this story something I'm actually still proud of -- generally, how the characters interact and Kyon's whole (aged, calmer) perspective.

I think the take that would have spared the 'reincarnation and try again' ending would have been having Haruhi/Kyon not actually be as close, and both of them more aware (and willing) of the sacrifices they make; that story would have Haruhi and Kyon as the heroes, and Haruhi's power as the antagonist (not a personification of them, like Yasumi -- the power itself).

I can somewhat envision this story, though it does tend to cast Haruhi's power as the source of all of her trouble.  I expect that she would realize that death was the only way to escape that power responsibly, and she would also decide she couldn't use/keep it.  Then Haruhi and Kyon could be reincarnated as separate people who would never meet (free of anything forcing their choices) as regular people beneath the IDSE/etc.'s radar, but given the chance to meet by Mikuru/Yuki.

Since I already wrote this one, and I like the (newer) theme of 'honesty and trust allow you to overcome difficulties', I'm pretty much satisfied with 'flawed, but workable', since that's ... kind of in keeping with the feel of the story in general.


Paugh, and I said, 'I hate defending my works outside of their content.'

Well, as a concession, I leave both versions up, even the one I don't like anymore, and let everyone choose which one they prefer.

[Ninja Lostar]

Eventually I would like to run through both, that is, if they both exist to this day.

[Brian]

I don't particularly have much desire to share the 'extra bummer' version anymore. :\

Edit: I still have it ... I'm pretty sure it's still actually posted in Later's thread in the writing section, too.

[JustBrowsing]

Not that this means much from a random reader (also first post in soulriders!), but I much prefer the new version.

The bad end one from earlier seemed to just kill the plot development and end the story. I could make some comparison to making waaaay too big a cut from a Bonsai, but that just sounds pretentious.  But in any case the mood whiplash really threw me for a loop, and not in a good way.
Again, only my humble opinion.

[Dracos]

Welcome to the site, Just. :)

[Brian]

Odd to be getting comments on this now. :p

I'm still happier with the more positive ending, anyway.  I've kind of been toying with a short, introspective and somewhat WAFFy follow-up from Haruhi's PoV at some point a few years down the story's timeline....