ECB vs List Admin from HELL

[Dracos]

At least he wishes he was.  This will hold both the ECB (Still being proofread, will be posted when I send it off to  the idiot) as well as the recorded attacks and evidence against baka-chan the list admin.

Xaldaran, will you start us off by sharing your evidence and preface for this ECB event.  Everyone should get to  enjoy this list admins pathetic attempt to flame.  And to newbie ECB'ers it's an exact lesson in what not to do.

Fearless Leader

[Dracos]

Hello, this is Kind Fearless Leader, and I'd like to welcome you all to yet another entertaining edition of the Evil Commentary Bureau.  Today is a special occassion, as the submitted target is another person who'd like to consider himself 'evil'.

This is something we consider rather irritating, as It's quite offensive to be associated with such a pathetic showman as this.

As we have received a rather large list of requests - including many
emailed 'posts' to the Devil's newsletter mailing list - to be picked apart as evidence, we feel a fine show is in the offing.  We hope all of you captive listeners enjoy this every bit as much as we do.  If not, sucks to be you.  Next time don't share your e-mail addresses with an incompetent idiot who posts them quite openly in his 'responses'.

Let me just say on a personal note before I begin, that I am certainly
going to enjoy this.  It is rare that someone both so deserving and a
pathetically easy target as yourself is submitted to the ECB.  Normally
it actually requires me to concentrate when I'm tearing apart a poor
bastard such as yourself.  Admittedly, this is usually because most of the targets cannot type.  You are amusing because not only can you type, but you go out of your way to make it clear that you are an utter cretin.

Now without further adieu, the ECB hereby accepts the case of:
"Disgruntled Chrissy who requests the identity of the one who gave you her email address versus the arrogant 'Mr. I Am Evil and From Hell' wiseass who thinks he knows how to flame'"

Addressing your e-mails one by one, I apologize for the lack of color
coding.  I will assume that not everyone is such a complete kintergardener that they require such conventions.  I do, however, remember exactly who my target is, and so standard ECB conventions will be used.  Hopefully they will prove sufficient.

E-mail number 1:

---

So this next part is just to cause extreme nausea in people, I hope you
enjoy that..:

ECB: Odd, if you were attempting to cause nausea one would usually expect that you would be gross in your actions.  The only gross thing about you I denote at this moment is the gross openings you leave for personal attacks in your posts.


Interesting Fact: Some People have way too much free time, and not enough brains to fill it.

ECB: My my...  This is so appropriate coming from you.  Indeed, it is a
veritable pity that you do not have the intellect to fill your free time in a more productive manner.  I could conceivably understand if you at least managed to achieve some vestiges of humor in your posts, but my analysis clearly finds your 'comedic backbone' to be little more than a wet noodle.

ECB: The haughtily superior approach only works when you can show yourself to be smarter than they are.

ECB: Because you probably need this pointed out to you:  You stink at it.


Warning: possible coarse language, sexually explicit material,
exaggerations,

untruths, fallacies, lies, parody, and sarcasm ahead. For the most part,
Courtesy of Bob Dole!

Whom had the major editing Rights to this issue of the newsletter, Blame Him for All of this, please don't hurt me..

ECB: Indeed.  This is the first time I've ever seen someone grovel
pathetically before flaming.   You'd think your mind would be online enough to take out this disclaimer when you were launching into intentional personal attacks.  Please don't hurt you?   Where would the fun be in that?  Please do share your whining and grovelling with those who give a damn.  As a final note, your disclaimer is nothing short of pathetic (yes, I am overusing that term here mainly because it is the TRUTH) from a literary standpoint.  Have a bloody spine man and take credit for your own works, pieces of shit though they may be.


Well, I must Thank you Chrissy, With all my heart for your wonderful
and vaguely insulting email.. you've just won me 10 dollars from a friend of mine, whom I made a bet with.. You see when I wrote the last issue of the devil's newsletter. I bet my friend that one of the
bleeding heart liberals would send in more hate-mail.. But the whole

ECB: I must correct you here, you lost that bet if this is your example of 'bleeding heart liberal' hatemail.  Albeit, your friend may just be stupid enough to believe your word on it and give you ten bucks - since he apparently hangs around you, after all.  In this case, please do point out his e-mail address for all of us in your next letter.  The gullible and stupid deserve no protection, ne?

ECB: For definitional purposes, just to make sure you understand, hatemail is specifically and only for the express purpose of expressing 'hate' at your writings and person.  Mail that includes other facets such as 'removal requests' and 'information queries' does not fall under this category.  I see clearly that if anything the complaint is leveled against you keeping her on the list, followed by what appears at first glance to be a clear and specific request for information regarding who did give you her email in the first place.  Now, a polite fellow would just have given her the email and enjoyed the fact he'd just successfully given her a new target to vent her ire upon, but instead you chose to defend this position.  Quite amusing really, but we will get to that later on.


Email Thievery Conspiracy thing is great!!! I couldn't believe it, I

ECB: Conspiracy theory is far from bleeding heart liberal again.  Beautiful punctuation though, by the way.  Truly the usage of three exclaimation points and only two periods for an ellipsis shows us just how skilled a writer you are.  Maybe you should check to make sure you aren't in a glass house yourself before criticising others about their English skills.


have also refrained from spell checking your document, because.. well, it's funny to laugh at the un-educated. So here's a copy of the email

ECB: Indeed it is.  I am indeed laughing at you, as I expect are many of the unfortunates who you routinely expose to your 'wit'.  


sent to me.. with a few of my own commentaries thrown in for good measure..
but I assure you readers, this is CLASSIC! J

ECB: It is definitely 'classic' my good sir.  Definitely.  We have the none too competent complainer and the irresponsible ass of an admin who doesn't know how to handle it properly.  Classic indeed.  I saw another example of this just last week, I did.  It was very amusing watching someone who ought to have at least some semi-competence be so utterly pathetic.

In the interest of time I will merely comment on your own commentary.


**OH NO**

ECB: Yes, Oh no... how dare someone not like me.  Your sarcasm needs work, monsieur.  And you missed an easy opening for a witty retort.  But then, with your brain working so hard and your computer spell checker doing all your thinking for you, I cannot see how I could possibly blame you for starting out on such a shoddy foot.


**Wait... so I STOLE.. and that's STOLE,

these e-mail addresses unknowingly? Here's that conspiracy

theory again, and I get such of kick out of you yokels and your ideas**

ECB: Intriguing, so you can properly use the ellipses once... but not
twice?  I am humbled by your English skills, sir.

ECB:  And by 'humbled' I mean 'in laughter at you mocking anyone about their writing'.  What, you didn't learn proper punctuation in fourth grade like everyone else?  Did your teacher let you through telling you that "You're a special child"?  Or maybe you fell under one of those ugly 'do not flunk child no matter how dumb and uneducated they are' requirements often found in the American public education system.  Either way, may I suggest investing in a book on basic writing before you attack others for their mishaps?  Especially as you denote that you proofread your works before sending.

ECB: One last thing before I move on.  An interesting comment from yourself in another email:
"I am not a random email thief, I have received an email with all the
contained email address's on it, and was suggested that these people might enjoy some good humor"

ECB: Pardon me, but you just add whatever emails any 'yokel' sends you to your list and then keep them there when they respond angrily?  Boy, your list admin ethics are admirable.  You don't send them an advertisement with a link to your site.   No, that takes too much time.   Instead you take your ill-begotten emails and add them straight to this list.  She is wrong, you aren't an email thief.  You are an asshole.  A wretched coward of a man who cannot battle a single woman one on one but need your entire list backing you for 'support'.  Not only that, but you call out for your list members to email 'Chrissy' with their thoughts - and then run away and whine when she returns the favour.  You are a a whimpering scoundrel without ethics or morals of any kind who indeed make all good right wing war lovers shake their heads in pity at being associated with such rabble rousing swine.  Enjoy the bottom of the bucket.  It's as far as your talents will ever take you.


**strikingly original**

ECB: Relative to your pathetic efforts, it actually is.  Checking through all the emails of yours I've been sent for analysis, I find the net production of your 'creative mind' is a happy birthday song with all the words replaced with the word 'fuck'.  With such incredibly original thought, how could you go wrong?  I'm sorry, was Betsy bad to you recently?  Did she forget to properly sit in her own filth before you licked her off?  Is this why you are so whiny and pathetic with your own retorts?  I would suggest studying cursing a bit more before you try publically doing it.  You may indeed save yourself some embarrasment.  Though I would miss the humor of watching you botch your attempt to be intellectually superior in thy method of insult, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.


**All in caps I like that..

forceful run with it**

ECB: Wow, bad grammar and improper punctuation.  I like that as well.  Easy target it is.  Before you try mocking, you might consider the fact that it is a valid and acknowledged writing technique to capitialize the term SPAM.  It accents the reason for her disgruntled email.  Oft times it is considered a courtesy to the intellectually mind rotted, such as yourself, by allowing their weak and fragile minds to quickly focus upon the reason for the anger being expressed in their direction.


**no shit?**

ECB: What, did your shift and caps lock keys both stop functioning?  Or was it too complex for your pitiful mind to manage the meager act of
capitializing the first letter of your retort sentence?  

ECB: By the way, don't you think your usage of the term 'shit' has gotten old by this point?  Does your startling intellect not provide you with wonderful other terms such as "Crap" or "Filth" to use instead?  Or perhaps you were quoting your religious motto off that infamous t-shirt: "Antagonistic: No Shit?".


**You'd think so...**

ECB: I must simply gape at your incompetence here as a flamer.  It is
absolutely sloppy of you that you failed to attack the grammar of her
sentence structure.  It would go right well it would with the general
thrust of your personal flame.   Alas, I guess you shalt never be more
than a third-rate offensive writer.   Such sloppiness rarely makes high
marks on a flame.

ECB: Congratulations, by the way on your usage of an ellipses... except when it is ending a thought line it is supposed to be four periods instead of the usual three.  But of course such an intellectually distinguished individual as yourself would know that.  So I guess this is merely for your hapless readers who may indeed be led astray by your incautious guidance.


**isn't that the idea?**

ECB: I almost sigh at the thought that anyone would leave such blatant
openings in their own attack emails.  Have you no pride, sir?  Have you no dignity in your own work?  I'd be asahmed to put my name to such a
hopelessly incompetent flame.  You act like a wounded dog, whimpering in fear before it is put down like the rabid beast it is.  Your actions
figuratively call for bigger wolves to come take a bite of your scrawny
hide.  You attack her on spelling and forget to capitialize the first
letter of your sentences.  You ask rhetorical questions instead of cutting right into the attack.  You...

ECB: One of the cardinal rules of a successful flamer is there are no
untouched openings.  Every flaw is made crystal clear before the
audience of your list.  So, why'd you forget this if you are so 'evil'?  Hell is really turning out pissy goblins these days.  Probably a manufacturer defect, we should send you back.

ECB: Additionally, just for clarification purposes, jokes ought be funny. Contrary to your opinion, there is such a thing as taste.  A good showman knows his audience.  You obviously failed this part of showmanship.  It matters not the individual, there are always things that a person does not find a laughing matter.  A jester who joked about the Nazis killing Jews in a Jewish community would be a dead man before the next sunrise - much like an incompetent flamer who attempts to publically demonstrate his 'skills' is bait for those better than he.


**Oh okay I didn't know I deserved shit**

ECB: Well, to tell the truth you deserve exactly what you churn out.
I believe that's the philosophy behind the protestant work ethic.  One
you are likely knowledgable of if you are opposing the 'bleeding heart
liberals'.  By the way, did you lose your period key or merely forget
that you were supposed to use it?  

ECB: Demonstrating to the world that you can use a spelling checker is
no great feat.  Anyone who has a real grasp on the english language
(as you apparently do not) shouldn't require one anyway.


**But Killing Jews is FUNNY!!**

ECB: Perhaps to a sadistic and jealous man who has not the wit to poke
humor at more intelligent things.  Alas, forgive me for I have
forgotten I am dealing with the penultimate of intellectual superiority.  A man with no flaws.  Your resemblence to a hot air balloon, full of wrath and bile, is remarkable.  I would hazard a guess with your pathetic list size (it *was* 62 people at my original count) you would be certain of your audience, so this probably would be taken as in good taste by the maggots that cling to you.

ECB: But wait... did we not see earlier that this list of 62 people
included a reasonably large amount of unhappy and unsatisified people
who've been forced to receive your 'entertainment'.  This leads to
question if you really  have any 'fans' at all.  At best estimate you
have one real fan, only presuming that you did not fake the writing
style of the letter response you posted.  At best, you are a leech
begging for attention, negative or positive, from where-ever you
can get it.

ECB: I am indeed glad to see that you removed a great deal of people from your list.  Perhaps you are arriving at a clue, although I suspect this is too much to hope for.  Still, if fear rather than reason gets my job done, it's not my problem.

ECB: Don't worry too much though.  There are 'homes' for people like you.  Homes with men in white coats with padded walls.


**Hey we don't go

for racial slurs here at Devil's, and apparently I'm Hitler. Wow only write

an email newsletter and I'm compared to Hitler, Delusions of Grandeur
anyone?**

ECB:
A)You're a real cocky little fellow aren't you?  What did you do, fail
basic comprehension?  Despite multiple readings through this I'm still
unable to figure out awe of how you reach the conclusion she thinks
you're Hitler.  If your head wasn't occupied by Johnny doing gross and
disgusting sexual acts upon your face you may have realized your error
here.  To help you, the ECB is glad to state it in clear unmistakable
terms: "She wasn't referring to your article.
She was giving examples for comparison to the attitude you were taking with your tasteless and unintellectual jokes.  She was accenting the fact that certain things are in very poor taste."
B)As regards 'delusions of grandeur', I guess that term fits you quite
rightly.   After all, not only did you misread the comment almost to a
criminal degree of incompetence but you managed to make the thought leap:
"She said nazi while complaining about me.  SHE MUST THINK I'M HITLER!"

ECB: Your sarcasm retorting against this only shows that you rightfully
bear the term "Paranoid Crazy" Man.


**You Didn't Correct that.. it's COMPANY.

And I must state that I don't deserve YOU by any stretch of the

Imagination but I take it with a grain of salt.**

ECB: Then why do you ask for her further presence with neon signs?  Do you enjoy the abuse?  Does it make you feel special in your small cooped up little world of hate?  If so, then this will probably make your little paranoid day.  

EC: BTW, excellent English usage in the above line.  I don't think I've
ever seen someone who has the guts to question someone elses English
while making mistakes of their own in the criticism.  Very egotistical of you.  Most superb capitialization of random words in the middle of your sentence.  Whichever English teacher taught you to capitialize "Imagination" should quickly be shot before spreading your disease.

ECB: Maybe, just maybe, you should work on your own feeble English skills before you take someone else to task.

ECB:  As a side note, I see you now find it appropriate to ACCENT a term through the usage of capitials.  Pot, kettle, black?


**Some of them Dig it, Don't knock it till you've tried it**

ECB: Likely they dig your paycheck that you give them afterwards.  Assuming of course that you work.  It might be money you stole from your dear old mommy as you spam a pathetically small group of irate individuals from her basement.


**The Uber-Bitch from Hell, Take your Bow**

ECB: Sirrah, may I be the first to inform you that you have never met an
"Uber-Bitch from Hell".  You've met an irate, barely competent complainer.  She dealt but glancing blows against you and barely even swore at you.  If this is your definition of Uber-Bitch than your skin is quite thin.   Most people laugh off such weak complaints.  Though, I guess as you seem to be too clumsy to find actually good material for your readers, this must make an excellent show.


I've almost decided to make a career out of hate-mail.

ECB: Please don't.  You aren't very good at it.  And you aren't even very funny.  A skilled flamer can at least put on a good showing as he tears his opponent to shreds.  You have far to go before you can make a career out of doing this.  You probably should study writing a bit more before you try, just to clean up your act so you aren't easy pickings for the rest of us.


You have no idea the satisfaction and feeling of VENTING that it really
gives you..

ECB: I'd have to say I do.  A much better idea than you do as I happen to be good at it.  Lovely misusage of ellipses again here as well as you once again using the very technique of capitializing every letter that you recriminated Chrissy for.  Competence is usually a shield against getting your ass verbally handed to you.  Pity you are lacking it.


To hear some feeble-minded complaint or other about how you do things wrong or offensively.

ECB: My thoughts exactly.  Except the feeble part I feel describes your
work here.  It is neither thorough, nor witty, nor particularly cutting.  Your writing isn't of high calibur itself leaving a  vulnerable opening for any flamer worth his salt.  Effectively, the job you did is nothing short of amateur.  The type of baby flames I'd expect from a six year old.


Then telling them RIGHT where to stick it.

ECB: In your face?  If you were trying to tell them otherwise you should
have been a damn bit more effective at your sarcasm.

ECB: I couldn't help but wonder how getting sulky and whining at a large
volume of hate mail (as you did later) is telling them 'right where to
stick it', by the way.  


It's a warm fuzzy feeling all over, and so I can suggest to all the other readers, whom are part of the Email conspiracy, that you should do what I have done and just kinda LET GO, with your feelings, tell people exactly what you think of them, you can do this at

ECB: I have to admit, I thank you for this line.  Not only did you open
this battle to all of your list, but you also provided the force necessary for it to reach me in the ECB submissions page.  Very trite stuff you've pumped out here.  Makes me so happy I get to rip into with my evening meal.


Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck Fuuuck Yooou

Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck Fuuuck Yooou

Fuck-Fuckfuck-fuckfuck Fuck Chrissy

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.. fuuck fuckkkkk yoouuuu


ECB: Did she strike a nerve or something?  Her words cut a little to close to your heart?  Perhaps she was even, Devil forbid, absolutely correct?  Or maybe my earlier conjecture about you being a thin skinned whelp is correct.
  Just for your personal enlightenment, a master flamer never allows any sense of personal injury to enter their posts.  Which, wonder of wonders, you do here.  To think, I used an example like this, written by another wonderbrain, as training material for ECB initiates of what not to do in a successful flaming run.  It was listed under: "Idiotic flames".  Man, maybe you were the one to send it in.  


Not my best interpretation But it'll have to do..

ECB: No, it should never have to do.  But, for one such as yourself who
desires no more than to be a half-assed maroon for the rest of his decadent and base existence, it will be all that you do.


Paranoid Crazy woman *I salute you*

ECB: I do as well.  She did better showing than you did, even if both of you were utterly wretched.


PS The Proper way to Cancel is to just send a BLANK email with "Cancel
Devil" in the subject line, just for future reference but I'll let you
slide this time. Oh by the way I am Hitler, and a huge world renowned email thief I have also have your Social security number and last known address, I would assume your identity and try to ruin your rep but you're fine doing it yourself.

ECB: Besides the run on sentence and the misusage of capitials once again, you demonstrate that you don't know how to use sarcasm effectively.  Golly gee whiz... you'd think someone who considers themselves evil would at least have some minor knowledge of how to effectively write sarcasm.  I guess I expect too much from minor peon demon-wannabes these days.

---

And thusly do we reach the end of this e-mail.  Luckly, for the
entertainment of this list, as well as all the normal ECB Fans, we have
been provided with more material to work with.

Now onto e-mail number 2:

---

ECB: Skipping all the terribly entertaining groveling and whining that the 'devil'  begins his articles with we will cut right to the chase.


All right so another wonderful day goes by, and what would it be without a little more... or a lot more hate mail from our good friend Chrissy! J

Though I must point out a few things Chrissy..

ECB: More days have gone by with you still being unable to write in proper English?  Godspeed, my good lad, to a school right-off before you make any more of an idiot out of yourself.  Only a Kapito repeats his mistakes so often for the public amusement.


Just because you're forced to use Yahoo Mail and have that cute little BCC button readily available for you to play all your own twisted purposes.

ECB: Well, it seems someone has their facts in disarray.  Allow me to help the hopelessly misinformed.

A)As there is currently dozens of free email providers, no one is 'forced' to use Yahoo Mail.
B)It may just be me... but in the two dozen or so various e-mail clients I have seen used every one of them included a BCC button.
C)Twisted purposes?  Like not revealing your entire list as cannon fodder for unscrupulous individuals such as myself?  It's a pity it's too late for them.  But it's what they get for trusting a spineless worm such as yourself to keep their e-mails secret.


Doesn't mean I give a shit, you see I posted your email address, not for
your cadre of friends, but for the OTHER readers of the devil's newsletter(Whom yes it's true can just read it off the top of the email list but how would they associate it with you?).

ECB: Very good of you indeed to make this a public event.  I'm not even
breaking standard net-ettiquette by joining in here as you have already
opened, without the prior consent of the Chrissy, this 'argument' to public forum!  What a find indeed.  Usually when someone dares to do this they know beyond a shadow of a doubt they can't lose.  Pity you forgot to rig the cards.


If you must know, as much as I like to torture you, I am not a random email thief, I have received an email with all the contained email address's on it, and was suggested that these people might enjoy some good humor.

ECB: Yes, you are not an e-mail thief.  Instead you are a vile harrasser who takes great pleasure in adding random e-mails of people, who have not asked themselves to be added to your list, to your list.  Your usage of the plural form of addresses truly astounds me.  What incredible English.  
However did you pass elementary school?  May I suggest a few people who
might truly enjoy your list if this is your preferred manner of adding new clients?

ECB: These fellows would love your specific brand of humor.  I personally guarantee it.

kapito_kun@yahoo.com
thermopyle@tds.net
oig.hotline@ssa.gov
libdems@cix.co.uk
ucdp1@hotmail.com
jb@indems.org
schnoeb@mchsi.com


Oh How wrong he was, whose name I still will not disclose because of your petty curiosity.

ECB: Yes, he was wrong.  You were stupid.  And she was angry.  You all
should be proud of yourselves.  What miserable wretched bags of flesh you make.  Why don't you go throw yourself off a cliff with your computer and spare us any more of these pathetic and childish retorts.  Maybe you will hit your head and survive... it might even beat the funny into you.  Imagine that!


You can keep insisting that I am the overlord of SPAM and bad email, but if you pay careful attention, and I'm sure you haven't because you don't seem the type. You would notice that anytime, anyone at all asks to be removed from the list, they are promptly and efficiently removed with no further contact.

ECB: I was going to say the same aboout you.  I mean someone who pays
'careful attention' generally realizes they put a period where a comma was supposed to go.  Indeed, this is far easier to notice then, let's say, someone realizing how your list functions without ever intending to be on it or desiring to pay any attention to it whatsoever?  Darn, I already used the classic pot to kettle line.  Not often that I run into such consistent hypocracy.  Usually people are content to be  hypocritical only a few times in a retaliatory strike.  You though seem to be going for the gold.  Most hypocritical and pathetic flamer I've ever encountered.  Congratulations.  Throw yourself a party.  And remember, TVs, pools, and yourself are three things that go very well together.


You will also realize that these Hate-Mails, These insulting letters that you LOVE to send in your very busy life I'm sure, Do you no end of good except to Amuse the large portion of my readers who STILL enjoy laughing at the blatantly oversensitive, and terribly annoying.

ECB: You are actually wrong here.  They prove two purposes in addition to that.
A)They give her that oddly futile sense of satisifaction in yelling back at an annoying fellow such as yourself.  Annoying I will admit only because she's thin skinned and you are terribly unfunny.
B)They have insured that I have plenty of usable material for my review of your work.  Indeed, without your continual blasting of this matter on public forum I may not have really been given enough to consider worth my esteemed time.  But you have made me quite certain that my own readers will get tremendous amounts of amusement from your work.  Thank you for your dedicated contributions of lamentable stupidity.


**Wording in Black = All part of the Normal show

**Wording in Red = My original response to Bitchy Hate Mail

**Wording in Blue = New Responses to my response to Bitchy hatemail from
Chrissy

**Wording in Purple = My Response to the new Responses from the Response to
the Bitch that.. well you get it.

ECB: Are your readers so mentally impaired that they need this sort of color coding to distinguish your attacks from hers?  The ones voluntarily on your list I could perhaps believe this of, but...


**I assume you picked yours up cheap, but I wouldn't sell mine so short**

ECB: I would, but then I'm a spiteful capitalist pig.   I tend to value
things about what they are worth, regardless of emotional baggage attached.  I doubt your skills could garner me much in any field beside manual labor if your writing is any indicator.


**It does make less valid, and twice as stupid. How bored do you think I
really am? That's rhetorical by the by**

ECB: It's ludicrious in this only because of how stupid you are.  Less
valid?  It's a guess based on reasonable data, it's no less valid than any other guess.  But I presume one such as yourself cannot be triffled with such 'logic' as stems from basic science methodology.  Obviously bored enough that you keep this up for multiple e-mails.  Answering rhetorical questions that people don't want answered truthfully is such sweet fun.


**Some of us still think it's funny you can't spell**

ECB: Just like some of us think it's funny you don't know how to punctuate your sentences.


***LADY where the fuck do you think I got them??? They fell from the
fucking sky? The email fairy of Calcutta allowed me to spin the magic wheel and come up your JUST your group of friends email address's? Get a fucking grip you horrible Crack addict. Your email address isn't worth stealing!"**

ECB: But have you not shown quite differently?  You have provided plenty of entertainment for your readers and, I may note, now for myself and my readers.   Your swearing shows your clear calm grasp of the situation perfectly.  Devil forbid that we give the illusion of civility when mocking those we perceive below ourselves.  This is clearly too much work for one such as ye.  So go forward in thy loud and detestable ways as you continue to make a mockery of thyself.


*Being Bitchy Round the Clock is the name of her game, there's never enough people to piss off or insult in a day is there? Is that called
Multi-Bitching?**

ECB: Excellent BOLD TYPE!  Superb in it's making your opinion sound
stronger.  Now I wonder, why wasn't this strong enough to stand on it's
own.  Were you insecure of your own word usage?  Was your dick perhaps unable to perform in your other hand as you were typing this out?  Well, fear not: unlike you, the ECB is utterly confident that our words are strong enough to stand on their own two feet.


**Boy you just can't say something and let it go can you? There's just no way, is there? Once again, where is this horrible FOUNTAIN of email
vengeance that I stole your email address from, and furthermore, when you receive an email inviting you to watch celebrities fucking, or naked porn stars, or a new deal on a car, or the cheapest rates in town, or 2 men fucking a polar bear.. THAT's SPAM, that's junk mail, this my dear lady, happens to take a bit of effort and creativity, something you're lacking in apparently or this would be much more fun. **

ECB: Sir, be wary what you wish for.  You wished for e-mail vengence, and quite simply you have got it.  Exactly what you gave to her, right back at you.  Now only you are the butt of the joke intended to entertain your readers.  I'm certain this must thrill you in ways a mere mortal man such as myself can never imagine.  Actually, to fix your definition, all continuous unwanted mail is considered spam.  Oh, apparently you also can not just let things go.   After all, you have kept this up, as my evidence shows, through emails, newsletters, and flames for a fair while.


**What if I'm Gay?? Did you ever stop to think about that?? What if I'm a black racist Nazi Gay man, and everything You've sent me up until now is the most offensive string of crap I've every seen in my life and I wish you were dead.. would you apologize to me?? Or would you just respond to my nasty email with a calm and rational explanation, about how it was a figure of speech or a joke.. God you're so one-sided and self centered it makes me nauseous.**

ECB: Well then, she would be no worse than yourself.  On a rational and
loving note, if you are such a ludicrous combination of hate and hated,
then do please stop writing and go out and share your hate liberally with the world.  You'll likely be shot within the hour by someone who hates you far more.  And for the record, in my totally selfish opinion, I will cheer as one less hungry mouth disappears from our blasted planet.  I'd do the same for the bleeding heart liberal too.  Quinn'ish philosophy I believe.  The dictate of being a greedy primal individual.


**Only to those who REALLY deserve it.. You see I don't believe in Just
judging people right off the bat, for instance.. it's taken me a little
while and a few of these wonderful conversations we've had for me to TRULY determine whether or not you're a raging bitch.. and Now I can be sure of my decision, unlike you people that just fly off the handle**

ECB: Yes, I am totally sexist to those who really deserve it.  I can't
merely hate them on the grounds they deserve it, I have to cloak it in a
larger field of hate like sexism.  Nice ellipses and random capitial
letters spread throughout your comment.  Adds that touch of personal flavor that makes your writing very noticiable for how poor it is.  

ECB: In any event, in two exchanged posts you have judged this person.  
Very well, off hand from the evidence I have I can also judge you.  You
are a self-absorbed cowardly little dog who thrives on the hatred of
others.  You relish this because this is about the only type of
commentary you get.


Wow okay we've got a Fucking Nazi on our hands.Silly Me I always thought a dictator who ruled through fear wouldn't be described this way.

ECB: Pardon her for being educated unlike yourself.  Adolf Hitler was a
brilliant and charismatic man.   You don't get to that position by being a bloody retard.  He was even thought of highly in America until the end, if you look back and actually check your own history.  Pardon her, and me, for thinking that managing to go from a broke artist to the ruler of a powerful nation is a remarkably admirable thing.  Then again, I also think Stalin should be studied for his brilliant propaganda techniques which can be applied in many other fields as well.  Kudos on being too closed minded to try learning from the past.

ECB: Hum, let's see if I follow your thought paths.  First you are a nazi.  Then she is one.  Who next?  George Dubya Bush?


**Yes KARMA is a bitch, I'm sure you'll realize this as you're hit by a
bus, while being gang raped by Nazis and forced to read Newsletters that scare you.**

ECB: This is a very lovely run on sentence.  You raise a good point though.  Unlike her, your karma will be striking back at you... well... right now.


** Smacks forehead dear god she's PROUD of it??**

ECB:  News flash, bucko: that was you telling her she got to you. Of
course she has good reason to be proud; the person she is annoyed with
hates her.  Congratulations, you came out on the losing end of not one,
but two battles of wit!

ECB: Because I'm feeling generous and the moon is quite beautiful this
evening, I am going to also field your e-mails from your list.

The first, if it isn't forged, is a clear example of someone who needs to shoot themselves badly.

The second, why isn't he running the show?  He's far more entertaining then you are, and he knows how to swear!  It seems like a lost art amongst my opponents (such as yourself).  He completely fails to understand the concepts of taste and propriety, but when you start with a retarded list you can't expect that much out of the poor overworked snails you call fans.


That's some funny fucking shit motherfucker,
That shit's funny, that shit's wack, that shit's funny and wack" -BHG

ECB: Having read now two of your 'vaunted' letters, I believe I can state categorically that your attempts at intellectual humor are a failure.  Your ability to successfully mock and provide amusing sport by preying upon the weak is even worse.  Flounder in mediocrity, for it is all you will ever be.


This brings us to a conclusion of this nights session of the Evil Commentary Bureau.  We hope you all tune in next time, Same evil site, Same evil time.

Kind Fearless Leader