What are you reading?

[Anastasia]

http://www.concentric.net/~Easimons/MHUKYOU.HTM

Yeah, Edward's fic. It's as good as I remember, though depressing as fuck. I'm up to Ikari 1, just enjoying how the fic works out. It's a little too exposition-y at times for my tastes, but it's a minor bitch.

Ed, if you see this and it isn't touched on later, any ulterior motive to killing Nabiki off? Besides the obvious dramatic and early character-moving reasons. Nabiki dying without having a single line and as a result of a good-faith mistake by Ranma really sets the tone.

[Anastasia]

Finished Mamono Hunter Ukyo. Good stuff! It has some gorgeous bits, like Ranma and Ukyo going skating during Haradachi. The only downside is that the angst gets too thick for awhile. It starts to relent a few chapters before the current last part of the fic, but it got close to drowning in angst.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2089055/1/Hands_Fall_Together

What if Luna finds Mamoru instead of Usagi at the start of Sailor Moon? The concept is executed well and is a hell of a lot of fun to read. Imagine poor Tux having to deal with monsters, beyond just throwing a rose and running off.

[Jon]

The Lie I've Lived — Not all of James died that night. Not all of Harry lived. The Triwizard Tournament as it should have been and a hero discovering who he really wants to be.

Well done Harry/Fleur matchup. Complete. Author promised a sequel, but so far no sign of it.

[Edward]

Ed, if you see this and it isn't touched on later, any ulterior motive to killing Nabiki off? Besides the obvious dramatic and early character-moving reasons. Nabiki dying without having a single line and as a result of a good-faith mistake by Ranma really sets the tone.

No specific conscious reasons. I've been largely making things up as I went.

Subconsciously, perhaps I felt Nabiki's petty villainy and occasional snarky comments didn't fit with where I wanted to go.

[Edward]

Finished Mamono Hunter Ukyo. Good stuff! It has some gorgeous bits, like Ranma and Ukyo going skating during Haradachi. The only downside is that the angst gets too thick for awhile. It starts to relent a  few chapters before the current last part of the fic, but it got close to drowning in angst.

Thanks. That's my cue to post another chapter. And a few more miscellaneous things. And throw out another request for prereaders.

[Anastasia]

Ed, if you see this and it isn't touched on later, any ulterior motive to killing Nabiki off? Besides the obvious dramatic and early character-moving reasons. Nabiki dying without having a single line and as a result of a good-faith mistake by Ranma really sets the tone.

No specific conscious reasons. I've been largely making things up as I went.

Subconsciously, perhaps I felt Nabiki's petty villainy and occasional snarky comments didn't fit with where I wanted to go.

Mmm, that makes sense. Thinking about it, I can't easily imagine Nabiki being around this fic. She doesn't fit, does she?

[Anastasia]

Finished Mamono Hunter Ukyo. Good stuff! It has some gorgeous bits, like Ranma and Ukyo going skating during Haradachi. The only downside is that the angst gets too thick for awhile. It starts to relent a  few chapters before the current last part of the fic, but it got close to drowning in angst.

Thanks. That's my cue to post another chapter. And a few more miscellaneous things. And throw out another request for prereaders.

Awesome.

Hard up for pre-readers? I could try if you want, but I'm ten years out of the game. My grasp of grammar has slipped.

[Edward]

Rustiness on grammar is fine, Word's grammar checker can help me with that.

Things I could use feedback on:

1) That tendency towards exposition. Another set of eyes can catch that better than I can and help me avoid it.

2) I tend towards a lot of scene cuts. Suggestions on consolidating scenes can be helpful.

3) Is what I wrote clear? Are there missing words or wrong words? Can readers tell what is happening in a scene? Can readers tell which character is saying which things?

4) How is the characterization? Most of these characters have changed; some have changed a lot because of events. I need the changes to be credible, yet the characters still be true to the originals. I don't want readers to think Character X is acting oddly unless they are acting oddly. I certainly don't want readers to think "That isn't Character X any more."

5) Is what I have written internally consistent? If a character is wounded in the shoulder I don't want that wound to migrate to their leg. If the character is naked, I don't want them to put things in their pockets.

[Anastasia]

Sure, I could give that a crack. Let me try it with one of your new fics over the weekend? See how that goes?

[Dracos]

reread a few angry words by alordoflandofire (will link later).  It was a fun moderate sized growth into a hero type fic, though it kinda anti-climatics the ending battle by it being a few second affair.

[Edward]

Sure, I could give that a crack. Let me try it with one of your new fics over the weekend? See how that goes?

Thanks.

[Anastasia]

Aaand that will wait another few days since I lost track due to epic football and a leaking, dying refrigerator on Saturday. Sorry about that. Did you know that refrigerators are 70% more likely to die the day after you do all your shopping for a week? Did you know that a bad fridge can leak enough to flood much of the kitchen floor? It sucks.

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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3337074/1/Im_Here_to_Help

I'm not sure what to think, beyond one question that bothers the hell out of me:

Spoiler: ShowHide

What the hell is Emerald's crystal? I read it late at night so maybe I'm missing an obvious pull, but I'm drawing a blank.

[Anastasia]

http://www.sailormoonv.net/da.htm

A really long AU fic I found today. The first chapter isn't bad, it's a semi-self contained story that holds up well enough. It has a few issues but it's readable. It's mostly around an OC, but I liked him.

Spoiler: ShowHide

A condensed, doomed romance fits the mood of Sailor Moon. I feel like it's too early in the canon for it, but the concept's fine. It's that sort of show, you know? The only real flaw is that I feel his Ami is off. Not like total OOC off, but a subtle off. Her word choice, actions and deeds sometimes just don't fit. You know, the subtle sort of mis-characterization that's the bane of any writer.

I do like how Tolaris took Eternal Sleep like a man. Whatever else you can say about him, he has balls.

The second part looks to be launching off a much bigger story. Chapter 2 is um...uh...something. It weaves from being okay to going into :psyduck: territory with reckless abandon. Chapter 3 made me close the window halfway.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Rei/Yuuchiro(Chad) violent quasi rape/violence/cutting scene? Uh I'll pass, thanks. This fic was getting into danger zone of 'fucked up shit' starting last chapter, but this took the cake. I can deal with finding out how Luna is in bed. I can deal with a random flashback of an OC seducing Makoto into a lesbian fling. Hell, even the vampire bit can be rationalized with enough fast reading and mental gymnastics. . The musical Minako bit felt entirely extraneous of the character, but what the fuck ever.

Anyway, point is that it went from mildly fucked up to full on apeshit, oh god fetish boy on board arghfuckle help help help CLOSE WINDOW FIREFOX CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Yeah. Besides, Rei is totally a dominatrix, not a submissive. Come on, 'domineering bitch' is her personality in the English dub, which it's based off of.

I'll be running now.

As an aside, there's a bunch of shit about expanding the Dark Kingdom/Negaverse into it's dimension. It looks sort of interesting but whatever. I suspect this is the part that gets the story it's fans. I hope.

[Dracos]

Team 8 updated recently.  So did In Flight and Time Braid. 

Hell is a Martial Artist did not.  Sadness.

[Anastasia]

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php?id=20515&cid=51630&submit=View

Absence by Kirika. The concept is that sometime after S a new enemy comes. In the first fight Rei has a building fall on her and is presumed dead. Through luck and a trip through the sewers it turns out she's not dead! Of course, it also turns out she's madly, head over heels, full on miserably in love with Usagi! Since she knows she can never be with her, she decides to slip away to Yokohama and start over. It just so happens that the new threat has a prong of it's attack in Yokohama! You can guess what happens from here.

The real point of the story is to match up Usagi and Rei, the youma business is just the backdrop for it. I don't mind the concept in the least. In the anime there's a few sparks there and a few jokes are made about it, so why not? They have a certain chemistry. Of course, there's a few smaaaallll problems with that and that's where this fic suffers. Rei is so head over heels in love that she's willing to go after Usagi when she's with Mamoru. Okay, that's one thing. When Chibi-Usa is known and in town and you've been to the future where Usagi and Mamoru are together? That's a whole other kettle of lesbians.

Make no mistake about it, Rei is in love. Hard love, full stop, end of the line love. Suicidal love, willing to die if Usagi dies as well. It almost makes her a villain - she's not far removed from Diamond in her raw obsession with Usagi.  I have a lot of trouble dealing with Rei willing to risk Chibi Usa's existence over her love. It's really the underlying problem with matching Usagi and Rei up past the Space Elf arc of R. How can you morally justify doing it under the circumstances?  Let alone with a destined romance that's the main theme of the series?  Yeah, I hate Chibi-Usa as much as the next American viewer, but motherfucker let's keep it real.

I like the fic anyway, it's well written and keeps you involved. You have to be willing to accept the premise and accept Rei as she is, which is a tall order in an otherwise great fanfic. I recommend it with the above reservations.

PS. There's a lemon chapter about 2/3rd through. You can skip it without it mattering if that's your thing, it's not needed to understand the story.

PPS. A few spoilery thoughts below.

Spoiler: ShowHide

The author is definitely writing what she knows. I strongly suspect - and she all but says as much in a few ANs - that she's basing Rei off something she went through.  I have another strong suspicion that the ending of this fic is wish fulfillment on her part. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Write what you know, yeah? I'm not going anywhere with this, it's just interesting to consider after you've read the fic.

I don't mind Usagi and Rei getting together, though I think the ending softballed everything. (I think, I haven't reread that far yet.) I do like that Mamoru's shown as a decent guy and not ruthlessly slammed, except from Rei's PoV which is justifiable.  I also like that a few people call Rei out, particularly Luna. She has an amazing speech around the halfway mark, one that highlights the what the fuck factor of Rei's actions. On the flip side, I wish one of the senshi had taken Mamoru's side. So far all of them have been in Rei's corner. I dunno, they just feel too accepting.