Dracos' Thoughts on Chat RPG Edict: Part 2

[Dracos]

This ramble is considering some of the more subtle points around being a good player in Chat Role Playing Games.  The considerations ones should have as gamers to promote the continuation of games long term.  You've all probably read my thoughts regarding GM responsibility (http://dracos.anifics.com/forums//index.php?board=4;action=display;threadid=166) for the players in their campaign, but I also think it's worthwhile to note that in chat role playing games this applies equally to the players.

 Everyone has preferences in a chat rpg.  Some players really enjoy drama: dark towers shrouded in lightning on the edge of a cliff as an evil wizard manically laughs and plans your doom.  Some players like comedy: The pies to the face and the stooge fu and the ultimate pursuit of the 'Silly'.  Some like Waffy and it's further variant lemon.  This is okay, everyone should be able to find, with a bit of work, a group who enjoys the same things they do.  And they should indeed take the time to do so.

 You may be asking how you figure out if the game being played in chat is they type you like to play.  And that's important as in joining a game you don't enjoy playing you'll probably end up resenting it or making the game poor for those who do.  So how do you figure out whether the oft spontaneous chatroom game of the hour is the right game for you.

 First off you observe.  Nothing is stopping you from sitting back and watching the players already playing to figure out what is the game.  With time you'll even begin to know the types of games that a given player tends to start (allowing you to quickly decide in the beginning).  If you like serious games, and another player has a reputation for starting WAFF games then you should probably stay out unless you feel like playing a WAFF game.  What if they draw you into the game though?  This is often done unthinkingly, as attempts to break the ice or draw new players in.

 I'd generally suggest giving it a try first if you've never done it before, because you may indeed like it.  If you do know you don't like it, it's important to be polite, yet firm, about it in the beginning.  And therefore let's go over some good and bad ways of dealing with games you don't like to play.

Good Way of Dealing with a game you don't like to play:
OOC: Sorry I really am not a big fan of silly games.  I'm going to be sitting this one out.

 This way politely conveys your concerns to the other players.  You don't end up in their game either miserable or trying to twist it to something you like better (ruining their fun often intentionally or unintentionally) and you don't hurt feelings later.  Playing a game you really don't want to play generally just builds resentment and antagonism between you and the other gamers.  This is bad as then you may have problems when you start the game you like to play.

 This also provides another polite message.  It allows a player to quickly find out what types of games are enjoyed by the players around.  To figure out that it's a bad idea to play silly games with player B but it's much fun with player C.  That perhaps this group as a whole doesn't enjoy Drama and so to keep Drama games out of this area.  And it does this without hurting feelings (mostly) or building resentment.

 Finally stay firm if you know you really don't like to play it.  Don't get angry at players that ask a few times, just be patient and say no.  Giving in when you really don't want to will only end in resentment on both sides, whereas the momentary disappointment at you not joining in will disappear in a moment or provides incentive to play different kinds of games that everyone will enjoy.

Bad Way of Dealing with a game you don't like to play:
I'll just join it and when I get tired of it I'll just change the unspoken rules around or get angry at what's going on!  GRAWR!

 This way often ruins the game for all who are playing.  When you enter a game, you agree, tacitly, to play by the standards of the gamer who started the game.  As well as the secondary standards of those who joined before you.  There's no shame in asking questions but in respect it's important to be able to feel the flow and figure out who is putting the energy behind the chat game and what the unspoken rules are.  Joining a silly campaign and then taking offense at the silly is an example of bad form.

 This is notably the bad way of discouraging gaming types from a room or area.  It does breed resentment and indeed can cause gamers to just not try those types of games elsewhere due to negative impact from a single group.  A gaming group gets what they 'deserve' in the end.  If they discourage people from being silly, pretty soon no one is going to try being silly there and those who really enjoy it are either going to be miserable or stop showing up at all.  Certainly the games might not come if you use the first method, but there isn't the resentment and real discouragement that occurs when negative enforcement of squelching a game occurs.


Um...  *Goes to ooc land

 This is a bad way of handling a game you don't like to play.  It usually occurs in one of two instances.  The first is not spending the time to test the waters, watch the game and figure out ahead of time whether the game is the type you like to play.  The second is when the game shifts dramatically or goes past your comfort areas, which I will cover later.  This is in many ways as disruptive as the first bad way of dealing with it.  For serious games it can rip the story apart.  For comedic games it can kill the funny.

To translate it into the terms any person who is starting the game sees:
"Goes to occ land" = "I vote 'no-confidence' in this game being any fun."

 It's a really harsh and discouraging judgment to hand someone.  Pretending you have to go somewhere is less cruel to the average gamer than doing something like this.  Worse, it can wreck the game for those who do enjoy it.  A vote or two of 'no-confidence' is often likely to impact far more painfully than the two or three gamers playing happily can manage to cure.  Needless to say this kind of behavior should be avoided.


 Now this is all well and good.  You've examined the playing field.  You know that a silly campaign is going to be played.  You're cool with that.  You politely join in, pies flinging.  Then...  the game changes.  It gets a bit too silly for you to handle.  Or maybe it touches something you are uncomfortable on.  Whatever it starts becoming a lot less fun to play.

There are good and bad ways to deal with this as well.  I already covered a bad way above.  Let's continue to a few other ways of dealing with it.

Good Way to Deal with Game that goes beyond what you want to play in a significant degree:

OOC: Guys, um, this makes me uncomfortable.  Can we stay away from (Specific bit that makes you uncomfortable)

 This is the best way to let the others know if something makes you uncomfortable.  It shouldn't be used for really trifling stuff, but if something is genuinely ruining your enjoyment of the game, you should let the others know in this fashion.  Oft times most gaming groups will be understanding especially if you've been playing with them a while.  This is matched with an onus on other gamers to be understanding to the quirks of others.  This isn't a license to ruin games of a genre you don't like.  It shouldn't be used just because a silly game pops up and you don't like silly games.  It would be appropriate if a lemon popped up, or a silly game moved to a drama.

 A corollary to this is that, as a player, if you notice a game run by a person, or a group, generally goes over your limits, than you probably should pick a different group to play with or wait for a different type of game to appear.  As a gamer, you can ruin their fun if you end up constantly joining the games and then holding back everyone because you are 'squeamish'.  It's reasonable a few times but if continued it can ruin other people's fun.

Bad Ways to Deal the game shifting around beyond your comfort spots

This is in addition to the 'going to ooc land' bit mentioned above.

Grrr...  I'll switch the game around to play my way!  (Otherwise referred to as going munchkin)

 This statement seems absurd and almost speaks for itself.  It's never uttered aloud but you see it happen frequently enough.  It generally precedes a game ending as everyone simultaneously quits as it becomes far less fun.  It usually also needlessly antagonizes players.  Antagonized players are bad things as that is a sign that the fun is being ruined for everyone.


WAAAAAAAAAH...I hate you guys!  *Gamer departs*

 This makes everyone and the kitchen sink feel guilty.  And oft it ends up being undeserved as it could easily have been avoided if people knew what was going on ahead of time.  Chat games go on over the internet.  There aren't the cues that people can normally take and heck, there's always rp'ing that would make it hard to tell what parts are 'genuine' and what parts are merely 'playing in character'.  In any good gaming environment everyone wants everyone to have fun.  Therefore you should deal with it ooc before getting to this point.  Needless to say, doing stuff like this taints the fun for everyone who remains and can rip a game to shreds.


There is another scenario that hasn't been touched upon yet that also is important to consider: How to deal with characters, not players but characters, you dislike.  This does happen from time to time.  A character just rubs you the wrong way.  Or, more commonly, in rp'ing a character properly a player creates setbacks for other characters.  It happens and isn't something that even ought be avoided at the cost of good rp'ing.  But sometimes characters just aren't deemed fun to play with.  This is among the things you should be noting when you choose to join a game.  An important thing to remember is many people will view it as just a game.  It's important not to take IC stuff emotionally.  Stuff In Character is, presumably, not done with the intent of pissing people off out of character.  I won't get off topic on that point now, but needless to say the next part makes the assumption that the players aren't trying to piss each other off.

Good Ways to Deal With Characters You Don't Like:

Don't join the game with the character there

 Sounds odd but I've seen it happen a lot of times.  People don't like a character on a personal level yet they will join a game with that character already in play and then complain when that character does the actions that annoy them.  If you see something in the game you really don't want to play with, then it's for the best that you don't.  Wait till there is a game without that character.  And if the character keeps popping up, talk to the player out of character and explain you don't enjoy playing your characters around that character.  Most players will understand about it, providing it isn't their only character.  If it's two characters that don't get along well together and you don't feel like playing antagonism at the time, than pick another character to play.  Above all, don't force yourself into playing something that you won't have fun doing because of any illusions that it is:
A)The only game around
B)These are your friends, so you have to play every game with them
C)Any other misbegotten half baked reason for putting everyone in a bad environment


Talk to the player out of the game

 Sometimes a player might not understand that you, the player, are not having fun with their character.  Heck, it's very easy to misconstrue this in the midst of a role play.  The key point is not to get angry.  Come calmly, assuming the player isn't trying to make your life hell, and work off of that.  Most of the time, you'll find that the player is ignorant of what's going on.  This is even more likely in internet games where the player cannot use extra tools like facial perceptions, tone of voice, etc (Which, in a good rp group still gives no evidence as you expect them to be changing those for the character).  I'm certain you've all seen characters that will throw fits, be enraged, etc., in character... and out of character the player will be smiling, laughing and having a good time.  Why?  Because he/she is playing the game.  Some people do not do this though.  And therefore it's important to be sensitive to both types.  To assume that what is being done isn't out of spite and to listen when another player comes to you about stuff.

 A little addendum to this is it's good to be specific when you do this.  Ask yourself before hand:
What makes this character annoying?
What makes "ME" not have fun playing with the character?
What could I, if anything, do to alleviate the problem in character?
What could the other player do to alleviate the problem in character?

These are just starter questions, you may be able to realize more with a specific circumstance.  Remember the point of Role Playing is to have fun.  Things that promote fun for everyone are better.  Therefore, it's worth taking the time if your fun is really being ruined.


Bad ways of dealing with characters you don't like

"I HATE YOU/YOUR CHARACTER!"

 Okay, this is generally a sign that you've let something that annoys you go on way too long without talking to the player in question about it.  It's the second worst thing to do regarding a character you dislike.  This, I hate to say it, is generally the player who gets angry's fault because it was not dealt with in a more constructive manner earlier.  There should never be a reason to get to this point.  You can know 'Your character' bears enmity towards another 'character', but the open bickering about hating out of character just makes everyone feel bad and taints the fun of the game.  It is, unfortunately, the most effective way to make sure characters, and often players, stop showing up to play at all.  This being something everyone should want to avoid, I view it as a negative.  No one should EVER leave a gaming session hating the other players.  Period.  No one should ever leave a gaming session feeling they are hated by the other players.  Period.  Assuming you use the good ways mentioned above, this should never happen.

Addendum: This line also pops up when real life grudges enter the gaming area.  They shouldn't.  Real life is real life, whatever your relation to the player in real life is, it shouldn't effect your characters in the gaming area.  These are separate areas of existence and shouldn't be brought together.  One should be able to be best friends in real life and play bitter enemies in game.  The opposite should also be true.  If you cannot leave a grudge in game or leave it out of game then, in all fairness to the person you are going to play with, DO NOT PLAY WITH THEM.  It's as simple as that.  Your grudge will often taint the game for the other players, so if you can't leave it outside when gaming, then you probably shouldn't be gaming with that group at all.

OOC: Your character is my sworn enemy

 This is a variant of the above.  Sometimes it may be as part of role playing but if this is all that is said, then it might as well not be said.  Go ahead and role play in character.  Don't bring a character's antipathy for another character into your relationship with other players, which out of character messages about that can tend to do.  This isn't to discourage talking about characters likes/dislikes/problems, but more of a 'how you go about it'.  Aggressive direct attacking tones accomplish little compared to assertive noting of the problems.


I don't like this character so I'm going to just vanish

 Vanishing from a group entirely should be a last resort and should never occur without trying to work out the problems first.  Go ahead and talk about it.  If the problems occur and you do eventually decide to leave, then that's fine.  You are looking out for your own fun.  But, assuming ignorance again, the player will often not even realize why you are leaving unless you tell them.  A group just coldly cutting someone out without talking to them about it is something to be avoided.  It leaves bad feelings and just generally ill will about rp'ing in general.  And on a more long term note: Player Bob doesn't learn that his character "Drazon the level 99 bard of cursing" who curses random people, is really not fun to play with.  His group doesn't tell him this.  He goes on to other groups after being abandoned.  The same thing happens, and more hurt feelings.  Provided no one has sat down by now with bob he may just throw in the towel and say Role Playing SUCKS ASS.  And perhaps it would be a pity, because maybe with just a little splash of common sense he could be reformed into a good role player.

Notice the emphasis on all of these is to improve the fun for everyone.  I hope this article is helpful in improving your role playing experiences.

Fearless Leader