"Isn't saving the world enough?"

[Corwin]

[20:49] <El-Cideon> After an uneventful return to the surface, and a moment to get used to the glare and heat of the sun again (it's mid-afternoon by the time you get topside again), you make your way back to the Magpie. Nothing of note seems to have happened in your absence.
[20:52] <Yomi> Just the way Yomi likes it. Leaving things to Rena has proven itself, and she resolves to find her a really nice hat before she has to leave in a week's time. "Do you mind?" she asks Suzume. Another glance is sent towards the Magpie, and she gestures towards the city. "Keeping me company, I mean. We could go visit a cafe in town, or just take a stroll, whichever you would prefer."
[20:54] <El-Cideon> "Um...why just me?" Suzume says, hastily amending this to: "I mean, okay! I haven't had anything to eat in a while. Just find us a place?"
[20:56] <Yomi> "Because you defer to others and I want to spend time with you," Yomi responds, shrugging. "Do you mind?" she repeats.
[20:58] <El-Cideon> "No, it's fine..." Suzume ducks into her cabin for a change of clothes and then returns. "So...where are we going?"
[21:00] <Yomi> "Beats me! I don't even speak the language, but I have money and the Brits colonized this land pretty strongly. I'm sure we'll get by. Hungry from all the walking?"
[21:01] <El-Cideon> "Yes," she says with a nod. "Not that I did anything else. But it's a good day when I don't have to do anything else, isn't it?"
[21:02] <Yomi> "Considering where your magical talents lie, I have to agree." Yomi pats her sheathed sword. "Likewise, believe it or not. I'd be quite happy if the Shishio did not see the light of day during our trip."
[21:04] <El-Cideon> "I don't think we'll be that lucky. It sounds like a long trip--weeks she was talking about. Are we going to leave the ship here the whole time?"
[21:07] <Yomi> "Maybe. We can communicate with the orbs, and if we get the map Grish promised us, the Magpie might just go seek out that other city, ready to turn back at our prompting. Maybe we will even travel aboard it, and try to reach our destination that way." She smiles crookedly. "I noticed you including yourself in the delegation. I'm glad you did, you know? That way, it doesn't feel like the rest of us are making you come along."
[21:08] <El-Cideon> "Uh, I just assumed you'd ask me to. In case someone got hurt."
[21:09] * Yomi snorts. "Of course I'd ask you. But I'd do it even if it was the safest trip we could possibly take."
[21:12] <El-Cideon> A nod as you walk into the city. There are restaraunts and cafes here and there, frequently with outdoor tables sprawling around one side.
[21:14] * Yomi looks for one with advertisement in a language she can read. That, at least, makes it plausible that she could read the menu as well. "Do you think we can help them?" she asks out of the blue. "The demons... aliens... whatever they are?"
[21:19] <El-Cideon> There are a couple with signs in English. Probably tourist traps, but it's better than nothing, right? "I'll just call them whatever they want to be called. I'd want to help people when I can...Are you sure they need our help, though? They're building cities and killing ghosts on their own, it sounds like..."
[21:21] <Yomi> "That's the problem," Yomi mutters, choosing the cleanest place of the selection and striding inside. There would be price gouging, no doubt, but she hardly cares about such matters. "In their struggles to build a better society for themselves, quite admirable all around, they will destroy the world. Them. Us. Everything. And I already know that if it we can't persuade them, I won't be able to cut them down. Not even to save humanity."
[21:25] <El-Cideon> Suzume finds an empty table with a view of the street and sits down. "You...wouldn't? Why not? Not that I want to, or think that you should! I would think, there has to be some solution that doesn't involve killing someone. But if there isn't...?"
[21:28] * Yomi sits opposite Suzume. "I can't. It's a dead end. I wouldn't... you know how people say that killing someone is hard? It's not true at all. The hard part is in realizing just how easy it is to do, and then do over and over again. In doing your best not to treat it as a viable solution to your problems."
[21:36] <El-Cideon> "I know all that, and I agree! But aren't there times when people just...don't give you any choice but to fight them? I know if you'd tried to talk Kurou into not doing something, or me into leaving...well, it wouldn't have gone anywhere. I think you should always try and find other solutions! But if you have to choose between all the people you know and someone else..."
[21:38] <Yomi> "I still don't know what I should really do in situations like that," Yomi admits. "But it's different. It's clear where you stop. These people, though? They have cities. Priesthood. Organized religion. It's not that Grish is wrong and has to be stopped. All the Eridani are."
[21:42] <El-Cideon> "One person can't stop a nation though. I couldn't even imagine where to start!" A server stops by to take orders. Most of the fare is continental, it seems--Suzume just goes with soup.
[21:45] * Yomi decides to leave it to the server's recommendation. Whatever gratuity he would get would depend on his qualifications, so she doesn't concern herself with it overmuch. "Depends on the person, don't you think? Just look at this Ishtar imposter. And if I'm honest, I'm worried about what I might do on a bad day as well."
[21:48] <El-Cideon> "Yomi, we've been in a lot of fights together now, and I don't think I've seen you do anything you didn't have to do. ...Except maybe set someone on fire," she adds in a small voice. "I'd like it if you didn't do that again."
[21:53] <Yomi> "I wonder if you can really forgive me for that some day."
[21:55] <El-Cideon> "Well...you were upset...because of Nadia," Suzume protests. "You weren't really yourself, I'm sure of it!"
[21:57] <Yomi> "I don't think it's alright, just because I weren't myself." Yomi sighs. "I'm sorry, Suzume. I never thought I would lose control. I've always trained so hard with it in mind...."
[22:01] <El-Cideon> "Well...you just, um...have to remember not to do it again...People do crazy things when they're disturbed emotionally. Next time something awful happens and you get tempted to act that way again, remember that day and remind yourself, 'No, I'm not going to be that person!'"
[22:02] <El-Cideon> "...Not that I think something like that WILL happen again! But just if it does."
[22:05] <Yomi> "Since mind control magic exists, even the strongest mental discipline might not be enough," Yomi says quietly. "Suzume, I wanted to ask you for a favor. If, for whatever reason, I'm not myself, please stop me. You are the only one of my friends I can't even think of as an opponent, in any context. I'm sure that you will be able to help me, if you try."
[22:07] <El-Cideon> Suzume looks down at the table for a moment. Then: "I...yes," she says with a nod. "I'll watch you closely and tell you when it looks like you're going to lose control of yourself. IF it looks like that! I--wait, what does that mean about the rest of your friends...?"
[22:09] <Yomi> "It means I'm very competitive and measure myself against everyone. You just happen to be an exception." Because she rescued Suzume? Because Suzume is so shy and deferring to others? "It's not a bad thing. And as for me, it's a bit like how Nadia and Sayuri were, professionally, except more."
[22:12] <El-Cideon> "Oh...Everyone? You must never relax! There are so many people with us these days."
[22:14] * Yomi shrugs. "It's not like I'm constantly on guard or anything. I don't expect to be stabbed in the back. But once in a while, while meeting new people or reevaluating people I know, I consider how I stack up to them. A lot of what I do centers around battle, so the comparison inevitably drifts there."
[22:16] <El-Cideon> "Ohhh...I don't think there is any competition there, though. You kill more monsters than anyone. I mean that in a good way!"
[22:19] <Yomi> "And then I go blank when everyone talks science or magical theory," Yomi responds wryly. "I'm aware of my shortcomings, too. And I'm trying to address them. Like now, for example. Not only is it nice to spend time with you, but I'm trying to... I don't honestly know how to put it in words. Connect with you better, maybe? Apologize, as much as I need to? Mend fences? Get to know you better? It's all of those, but not quite it, either."
[22:23] <El-Cideon> "You don't have to apologize to me! If it weren't for you, I'd be following Kurou around and helping him do all sorts of horrible things. I don't think I could've left on my own--it was like being stuck in a dream. So...you feel like you insulted me, it seems, but you don't have to, okay? (more)
[22:25] <El-Cideon> "I admit, you kind of scared me when we were in Moscow, but you know you went a little crazy and you know you don't want it to happen again, so it's not as though I think you're a lunatic now--not that I ever did!"
[22:29] <Yomi> "Insulted you? No, that would be saying I thought you were a lunatic," Yomi says, smirking at Suzume. She settles down, mulling over her words some. "I truly regret only few things in my life, and most of them have to do with the death of my family. The events of Moscow -- not being able to save Nadia, losing control, hurting you like I did -- those are amongst them. Just because I did something good before doesn't... it doesn't negate that I wronged you. I don't think that way. But if you're not afraid to be around me now, and you don't want me to keep on apologizing, I'll stop doing the latter."
[22:32] <El-Cideon> Suzume nods. "If you can regret doing something, it means at least you learned from the mistake, doesn't it? So knowing that's enough for me."
[22:37] <Yomi> "I talked with Erin about how one of the things we should take from this is to discover ourselves. Who we are, what at we want to do, what we enjoy in life." She laughs suddenly. "Thus, the zeppelin. But I've been thinking, and one of the things I want to do is make a difference. And not just by fighting evil. I thought of charities, but then, it means giving money to other people and hoping they are smarter than me about putting it to good use." She looks curiously at Suzume. "Did you ever think along those lines?"
[22:40] <El-Cideon> "I...haven't really thought about it much. It used to be that I just assumed I would get married and have children one day and that would be it. Then, um, then Kurou found me...and now I'm just hoping I can do something to clean up the mess he made. I don't really have plans past that...mostly I just assume everyone else knows what they're doing."
[22:49] <Yomi> "We have the luxury of doing both things at once," Yomi mentions. "Save the world, and make it better at the same time. Doesn't it sound like it would be great? Brunilda is brilliant, and I'm sure she'll advance the cause of science-- hell, I'm sure she'll change it so much in our lifetimes we won't recognize it by the time she's had enough. Erin, well, you know her. She leads her Lodge, and she keeps on recruiting for it, while gathering magical lore and artifacts. She doesn't skimp on making allies out of the mages we come across, either. I don't know if they'll have their isolated, world-spanning society by the time she decides to retire, or if she'll reintroduce magic to the public altogether, but you just know it would be great. Rena's goals might be smaller in comparison, but you've heard how she started out, and see how far she's come. She actually has goals, now, and works towards them in a plausible enough way. I wonder if Sayuri has larger goals than she confided, but she's gotten past Japan's glass ceiling and it doesn't look like she'll stop any time soon. Where does that leave us? Or even just me, since I don't even have a goal like yours. No personal ambition left, besides just what we do, exploring and trying to protect the world's seals."
[22:52] <El-Cideon> "Isn't saving the world enough?" Suzume says with some surprise. "You could just...retire after that. No one would blame you!"
[22:56] <Yomi> "I may not have personal goals right now, but I do know what I want to avoid," Yomi says defensively. "I don't want to be some kind of spinster! And I don't want to just be so focused on... we might as well call it work, or duty... that I don't even have something to aim for. Suzume, you still want to have a family, don't you? But I want is something vague like being useful to others. Or inspiring people with my example. It's not like we can talk about what we really do, so I don't know how to do it."
[23:01] <El-Cideon> "Oh. Er, I don't know, then...You could teach other people how to swordfight, or hunt demons? If you don't want to do it forever, make sure someone else can do it for you when you get tired of it? Then you can figure out something else?"
[23:05] <Yomi> "I don't really want to wait that long...." Yomi purses her lips. "I suppose I could show the basics to Sayuri, or look for other demon hunters to connect to? I never believed I would say this, but it's a bit disheartening that my legacy can only involve violence. It's what jumps to mind, isn't it? And there's really nothing else as the second choice. But I like to think there's more to me than that."
[23:05] <El-Cideon> "Well..." Suzume is deep in thought for a moment, then: "What else do you like to do?"
[23:13] <Yomi> "I loved studying, but I couldn't really focus on it beyond maintaining my grades. I like learning new languages, and I like to think I'm good with tea ceremonies and flower arrangement, even though they take so much time. I'm just good with precise things. I really love western sweets and dressing up! And I like to travel, to see new places and meet new people. I love celebrating life, though it seems the western girls do it differently. I wonder if I can be a good actor, now that I don't have a destiny of fighting demons to the death? I'm probably terrible at acting, but it always seemed such fun." She laughs again. "I'd love to dote on a little sister, but I bet it's not the sort of thing that just happens all of a sudden."
[23:19] <El-Cideon> "Um, no, those are hard to find unless your parents happen to have one...But, languages, hm? Maybe you could figure out the language the Grahl, or whatever we're calling them, the language they use? Then we wouldn't have to rely on magic and worry about it running out...And it would be one no one else really knows, so you'd be the first, right? Well, Kurou had some notes on it, but he didn't finish...(more)
[23:19] <El-Cideon> "Anyway, dressing up? I wouldn't have thought you the type to go for clothes and candy."
[23:21] <Yomi> "Really?" Yomi asks in faux indignation. "Which part of me isn't suited for them?"
[23:24] <El-Cideon> "It's not that there's anything wrong with you!" Suzume is quick to point out. "I just wouldn't think...you're not obviously the sort of person who'd like that sort of thing. You're so serious when we're out exploring, is what I mean."
[23:25] <Yomi> "It's because I'm a bit... what was the word father used?" Yomi pretends to think. "Ah, flighty. So I have to focus a lot more or my attention would drift this way or that. It's just habit by now, if we're in any way in danger."
[23:27] <El-Cideon> "Oh, so you trained yourself to compensate for your faults!"
[23:29] <Yomi> "My personality's not really suited for all this serious stuff," Yomi readily agrees. "I'd enjoy the exciting life of an explorer a lot more! But I did have a natural talent and responsibilities. Duties. You know how that goes."
[23:31] <El-Cideon> "I think you're very good at being serious! So, maybe you should try acting after all?"
[23:32] <Yomi> "I suppose I could ask Selene what she thinks next time we stop by Paris, and if she doesn't laugh at me, we'll see?"
[23:35] <El-Cideon> Suzume shrugs. "I don't know. It would only be fair if we made her laugh for a change. We probably owe her as much after last time."
[23:37] * Yomi nods in all seriousness. "Making Selene laugh. I'll add that to my list of things to do."
[23:37] <El-Cideon> "It must be a long list by now..."
[23:38] <Yomi> "Nah, this is the short list. It's only for the really important things."
[23:55] <El-Cideon> ~