[Haruhi] K:BDH chapter 53

[Specular]

Another one (I think):

"Ah, I want a bunny-girl costume," Kanae echoed, her face blushing. "Kyon's sister is so cute like that!"

Kyon → Sempai.

[Brian]

Oops ... fixed. >_>;;

[Uldihaa]

Touhou cosplay! Woo hoo!

Spoiler: ShowHide

I loved the references to some of the Touhou canon/fanon, too. Haruhi/Marisa stole the precious thing. I wonder what Haruhi stole?

Yuki as Patchouli Knowledge makes perfect sense, seeing as how she's considered as one of the 'powerhouses' in Gensokyo; well she would be, if not for her asthma and poor health. But no mukyu? *is sad*

I'm guessing Tsuruya is Sanea Kochiya?

Let's see (this is kind of fun: Identify the Touhou Character), I 'saw' Suwako Moriya, Reimu Hakurei, Koakuma, and Tewi. The others sound familiiar, but I just can't place them all. Touhou has way too many characters...

Nonoko as Tewi... cute but I've never been able to get this 'version' or Tewi out of my head (some of it is NSFW). I'd have expected more along the lines of maybe Cheeeeeeen or better yet maybe this.

But never mind all that!

*looks at Patchy-Yuki and Tewi-Nonoko*

Omochikaerii.

It's actually nice to see some inter-harem conflict going on. I'd actually like to see more, at least some occasionally waspish and irritated comments from some of the girls. They're getting along a bit too well. Some friction, even if swiftly resolved, would help show that they aren't perfect and that it really is taking effort to make this work, not just in terms of arranging 'Kyon-time' fairly but in dealing with the 'green-eyed monster' when it's another girl's 'Kyon-time'. It doesn't even have to be out-and-out fights, though one or two of those might help to bring any festering feelings to the surface to be aired out and resolved.

[Brian]

Thanks for the feedback. :)

And, yeah, that conflict is something I think the story needs, though dwelling on it too much won't be fun at all, so....  I'll figure something out. :p

[GeshronTyler]

One of the things I've noticed in the past few chapters (intentional? =P)  is that Haruhi has already forgotten the #1 Rule of Harems, Higurashi style.  Namely, rely on your friends, and share the burden.  We haven't seen Haruhi talking about the frustrations and jealousy she's experiencing due to sharing Kyon, and she seems to have taken it upon herself to arrange the "shedule" as it were.  She's trying to give every girl "equal access", but that was something Kyon's aunts had already found didn't really work, since every girl will need varying degrees of contact with Kyon, and varying degrees of reassurance.  As you've portrayed, events will tend to screw up any orderly plans now and again, and only open and honest discourse is going to serve to promote stability in the relationships between everyone- especially between Kyon and Haruhi, so he doesn't have to keep pulling the emergency brake.  Generally, I think Kyon's harem does need someone to be in charge, and that it would have to be both Haruhi and Haru.

I liked how Sasaki is started to open up a bit, though getting her to the point where she can loosen up her rigid rationality to the point that she doesn't cause problems will take quite a bit of work yet. 

The Gensyoko segment was amusing.  I  guess the dance they did was from "Hare Yukai"?  At first I was wondering if they were going to do the "Bad Apple" dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSSSTa-PIaU, but that would require much more work. 

I've been wondering what Tsu-hime could do to convince Haruhi that she wants the harem to be successfull, and that she doesn't intend to try to push the others (especially Haruhi) away.  It occured to me, that in the quotes attributed to Haruhi in the chapter headers, we see (presumably) her initials as HT-  Kyon isn't the only person who's family name begins with "T".  Assuming that marriage laws don't change much in the future, there's another reason the girls (aside from Tsuruya) have "T" in their initials.  Of course, such things have been the staple of Ranma fanfiction before (generally with derision =P), and it may not be a serious solution.  Seeing as how this fic has been declared to be a "harem" fic among other things, the "family adoption" option may not be that far-fetched. 

You had Haruhi making a note to take Kanae and Mikuru out for Karaoke in the future.  If you want them to have a chance for some further bonding, and/or a setting for a private discussion, perhaps there could be a disruption of train service and they end up staying at Mikuru's instead of splitting up to go home. 

Hmm, it's early morning in Berlin, and I have work today.  No doubt I've managed to forget some of what I was going to comment on. ^_^  Thanks for the chapter, read you next time.

[Brian]

Hey, thanks for the feedback.  Yeah, the strife is intentional; there's a lot of stress in general in the group, and it's not being handled utterly flawlessly....  But I am still aiming to have an ultimately positive outcome. :)

[Barricade]

Spoiler: ShowHide

Next in the group was a girl wearing a light blue hood, hair from a purple wig poking out. More contact lenses? Purple eyes peeked out from beneath the matching hair, and underneath the nearly waist-length hood was a long-sleeved, knee-length white gown, with a blue, flame-like pattern at the hem.

I feel remarkably stupid that, in my first two times reading this, I didn't get who the heck this was. Even though I immediately noticed Unzan...

Spoiler: ShowHide

In order...
Sanae
Patchouli
MANNOsuke (heh)
Marisa
Reimu (note: 'shy' Reimu made me literally fall out of my chair laughing)
Koakuma (YAY! Fanboy here)
Ichirin (....my...shame...)
Unzan
Tewi
Suwako (cute Touhou in-joke you did btw)
Kaguya

And I'm a Touhou fanatic (the only thing I don't own are the PC98 stuff) that can usually rattle off names faster then people can finish describing a character THEY can't remember the name of.

*pulls out tanto and unbuttons shirt*
I have shamed myself.

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On a more serious note, while I like the idea of describing characters, it came across far too much as a mere info dump. Pretty much a snapshot of what they look like and then, onto the next character. One or two of them needed to be a bit more, well, in character - either of who they're cosplaying, or their 'real' character, or getting into character. It came across a little too dry.

Also...who is in a 'long white gown' with the boom-box? I don't see her in the next section.

Also, that last line? Confusion here - I thought Haruhi already knew, and the 'passcode' for unlocking all her powers was already known to her and/or had a safety 'switch' in trust to Yuki. So why the freak out again? Or should I backtrack a few chapters because I missed something?