[Half Life] Deja Vu (complete)

[Empyrean]

Just a short thing I wrote for giggles after an IRC comment got me thinking.

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Dr. Breen walked toward the testing chamber. After the recovery of one of the Earth's greatest artifacts, the Combine had recalled him back to study it. He was, after all, the greatest of Earth's scientists who was willing to cooperate. The other guy was predisposed to killing Combine Elites by throwing toilets, cinder blocks, barrels, rotary saw blades, heaters, their own grenades, and the occasional kitchen sink at them, so he was unable to assist in the analysis. No matter; Dr. Breen was the greater scientist among them, he was sure of it.

A guard at the door nodded in recognition. "Go right on through, sir. Looks like you're in the barrel today."

Breen entered the lab to find a trio of Combine scientists. One of them turned upon hearing the door open. "Ah, Dr. Breen. Here you are. We just sent the sample down to the test chamber."

"We boosted the anti-mass spectrometer 105%. Bit of a gamble, but we need the extra resolution," said another.

The third scientist spoke in turn, "The advisor is very concerned that we get a conclusive analysis of today's sample. I gather they went to some length to get it."

Breen still said nothing, and the first scientist spoke up again, prompting him. "They're waiting for you, Dr. Breen, in the test chamber." The scientist approached a retinal scanner and opened the door to an elevator. After a short trip down, Breen continued down a hallway leading to the test chamber itself.

Along the way, a circuitboard exploded and drew the attention of two nearby scientists, who rushed over. "It's about to go critical!"

Frustration evident in his voice, the other scientist said, "What the hell is going on with our equipment?"

The first shook his head. "It wasn't meant to do this in the first place."

Dr. Breen said nothing to the scientists, and eventually reached the entrance to the test chamber itself. Two more scientists were waiting for him. It was a science facility, after all. The scientists spoke to him in turn.

"I'm afraid we'll be deviating a bit from standard analysis procedures today, Dr. Breen."

"Yes, but with good reason. This is a rare opportunity for us. We don't get our hands on something like this every day."

"We have no idea how it works. What we've seen so far indicates it has tremendous capabilities that we don't even begin to understand."

"Now, now, if you follow standard insertion procedure, everything will be fine."

"I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit that the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is extremely unlikely."

"Dr. Breen doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly trained professional. We've assured the Advisor that nothing will go wrong."

"Ah, yes. You're right. Dr. Breen, we have complete confidence in you."

"Well, go ahead, let's let him in now."

Following their discussion, the pair opened yet another door into a large, circular test chamber. Dr. Breen looked around and shrugged. There was Science to be done. He initiated startup procedures for the anti-mass spectrometer, bringing it to 80% and holding.

Once the anti-mass spectrometer was active, a voice spoke over an intercom. "Very good. We'll take it from here."

Another voice spoke over the intercom. "Power to stage one emitters in three, two one. I'm seeing predictable phase arrays. Stage 2 emitters activating... now."

The first voice spoke again. "Dr. Breen, we cannot predict how long the system can operate at this level, nor how long the readings will take. Please, work as quickly as you can."

The second voice relayed more instrument readings. "Overhead capacitors to one of five percent. Uh, it's probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing a small discrepancy in... well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining sequence."

Dr. Breen waited, doing nothing until the first voice spoke up again over the intercom. "I've just been informed that the artifact is ready, Dr. Breen. It should be coming up to you any moment now. Look to the delivery system for the artifact."

A cart arrived, bearing an artifact of such power as to allow an ordinary man to defy an interdimensional empire: Gordon Freeman's crowbar, confiscated from his possession during his assault on the Citadel at City 17 along with most of his other weapons. The others were discarded as being unremarkable, mostly stolen from the Combine's own forces. The crowbar, though... they still didn't understand how such a mundane-seeming object could do what it did.

Dr. Breen pushed the cart into the machine. Electricity began acrcing wildly out from the anti-mass spectrometer.

The voices over the intercom were frantic. "Dr. Breen, get away from the-"

"Shutting down-no, attempted shutdown. It's not.. it's not.. it's not shutting down!"

There is an explosion in the anti-mass spectrometer, and the intercom cut off. The test chamber swirled with brief images of locations on Earth: wastelands, forests, ruined cities. Dr. Breen staggered back a half dozen paces. Abruptly it stopped, and next to the wreckage of the anti-mass spectrometer, Gordon Freeman appeared. He picked up his crowbar, patting it softly. Then he looked around and locked his gaze on Dr. Breen, whose eyes widened in terror. The Free Man hefted his crowbar and smiled.

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[Brian]

Just a short thing I wrote for giggles after an IRC comment got me thinking.

Yay~! :p

Dr. Breen walked toward the testing chamber. After the recovery of one of the Earth's greatest artifacts, the Combine had recalled him back to study it. He was, after all, the greatest of Earth's scientists who was willing to cooperate. The other guy was predisposed to killing Combine Elites by throwing toilets at them, so he was unable to assist in the analysis.

Suggest slight expansion on Breen's irritation, and possibly a tiny bit more digression into just what else the Free Man hurls toward Combine entities.

A guard at the door nodded in recognition. "Go right on through, sir. Looks like you're in the barrel
today."

Looks like an extra carriage return after 'barrel'.

Breen entered the lab to find a trio of Combine scientists. One of them turned upon hearing the door open. "Ah, Dr. Breen. Here you are. We just sent the sample down to the test chamber."

In general, I think it would be good to emphasise a bit why Breen doesn't say anything; for one, he's probably got a smug sense of superiority.  For another, the Combine scientists are probably synths, so he may be disgusted or even hold them in contempt -- in other words, it'd be very easy to characterize him as sneering down his sleeve at the scientist-beings that didn't have the intelligence to make the deal he did.

It can even be that they're communicating in chirps and warbles, but he understands what it means thanks to either more subtle implants (possible) or just learning Combine communication the hard way.

Breen still said nothing, and the first scientist spoke up again, prompting him. "They're waiting for you, Dr. Breen, in the test chamber." The scientist approached a retinal scanner and opened the door to an elevator. After a short trip down, Breen continued down a hallway leading to the test chamber itself.

Here and elsewhere, I'd suggest changing the references to more Combine-like technology (combine scanner, Breen can walk through one of their fields because it recognizes him, etc.) to give it a bit of distance from the original.  You might also consider changing the language around a bit so it's not immediately as obvious that this is the original HL script being applied to Breen and The Artifact.

Dr. Breen said nothing to the scientists, and eventually reached the entrance to the test chamber itself. Two more scientists were waiting for him. It was a science facility, after all. The scientists spoke to him in turn.

"I'm afraid we'll be deviating a bit from standard analysis procedures today, Dr. Breen."

Breen: "If the Advisors hadn't given these instructions, I wouldn't tolerate this condescending explanation of a task I understand better than you."

"I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit that the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is extremely unlikely."

Since the resonance cascade scenario isn't a big deal to the Combine (o noes, travel to this world is easier again for a little while!) and might actually be something they'd desire, I'd really suggest changing this around to something else.  It's easy to make the connection that The Artifact has some measure of Vortessence to it; considering it was their first view of humanity (coming down the hall at them, and restrained only by the Will of the Free Man, spattered with vortessence-cortex-juice and flux-shift-gland-bits), that there's some sort of connection with it and the Free Man.  If you want to go for something more subtle, there's probably all kinds of ways to word it, but....

Once the anti-mass spectrometer was active, a voice spoke over an intercom. "Very good. We'll take it from here."

Breen: "More like you're afraid of what's _obviously_ nothing more than a lump of intert metal!  You cowards fear too much over _nothing_.  But if the Advisor wishes to confirm that it's merely a bit of steel and chipping red paint, so be it!"

Dr. Breen waited, doing nothing until the first voice spoke up again over the intercom. "I've just been informed that the artifact is ready, Dr. Breen. It should be coming up to you any moment now. Look to the delivery system for the artifact."

Even if you do shift the scientists to synths, to make the reveal hit a little harder and wrap it in mystery (maybe), I'd suggest putting notes of faint awe or fear into them.

Synth A: "I heard that this same artifact was responsible for supressing dozens of synths in Nova Proskect!"
Synth B: "_I_ heard they found ant-lion _guardian_ pheremones on the thing!  That it was used to _pry out a scent-gland_!"
Synth A: "I don't care what the penalty is -- I'm not touching that thing!"
Breen: "Dolts.  If you want something done right...."

A cart arrived, bearing an artifact of such power as to allow an ordinary man to defy an interdimensional empire: Gordon Freeman's crowbar, confiscated from his possession during his assault on the Citadel at City 17 along with most of his other weapons. The others were discarded as being unremarkable, mostly stolen from the Combine's own forces. The crowbar, though... they still didn't understand how such a mundane-seeming object could do what it did.

It might take some doing, but it's plausible to set this _while_ Freeman is running around the citadel on his way to Breen's office, and that one of the other reasons Breen is indulging in this is to distract himself until Gordon's dealt with (and possibly thinking that 'the Artifact' is really nothing compared to whatever damaged the confiscation field).  Admittedly, that'd require changing the ending again.

The voices over the intercom were frantic. "Dr. Breen, get away from the-" "Shutting down-no, attempted shutdown. It's not.. it's not.. it's not shutting down!"

Should be separate paragraphs.

There is an explosion in the anti-mass spectrometer, and the intercom cut off. The test chamber swirled with brief images of locations on Earth: wastelands, forests, ruined cities. Dr. Breen staggered back a half dozen paces. Abruptly it stopped, and next to the wreckage of the anti-mass spectrometer, Gordon Freeman appeared. He picked up his crowbar, patting it softly. Then he looked around and locked his eyes on Dr. Breen, whose eyes widened in terror. The Free Man hefted his crowbar and smiled.

If you go with the other suggestions, this would need to be changed a bit -- however, the idea of a small team of Vortiguants stealing The Artifact to return to the Free Man later would be just as hilarious in my mind (especially if they say something along those lines, about how it's a power the Combine can never know, etc.).

Hope this helps -- I found it amusing, for what it's worth. :)

[GeshronTyler]

I, too, found it amusing.  I've never played Half-Life, though I meant too- I think I still have the game lying around somewhere.  Otherwise, I'm mostly familiar with the original through "Gordon Freeman's Mind".  I do enjoy the wonderfull irony of Dr. Breen ending up in much the same situation as Gordon at the beginning of his adventures.  On a side note, Brian, is the "Half-Life" "Combine" the inspiration for the "Combine" in K:BDH?

[Brian]

Yes.

[Empyrean]

I'm glad you guys found it amusing. Objective complete. :)

So, I mostly responded to Brian's feedback over IRC.  Deleted the extra carriage return, added some more stuff that Freeman tends to throw at things, split up dialogue into separate paragraphs. I don't really know enough about the Half Life universe to really pull off the other suggestions, although I agree if I could manage it then it'd probably make the story better.

Otherwise, I'm mostly familiar with the original through "Gordon Freeman's Mind".

I loved that series. "Is that an MP5? IT IS! Now I can solve 800 problems a minute!"