[Kamichu! / Evangelion] A Tourist's View of Onomichi (nano-oneshot)

[Arakawa]

An odd idea for which I decided to sand the edges off into a self-contained vignette. Not much to explain, really.

[Muphrid]

The boat set out across the bay and the waves lapped at its sides. On the other side of the water, the landscape had taken a severe beating and there would be much rebuilding to do in the coming years. Greenery still sprouted determinedly from among the broken shards of trees. A surprising amount and variety of vessels, scrounged up from God knows where, served as houseboats for those who had been driven from a dwelling by the recent disaster. Coloured banners hung, reflecting people's determination to not only keep on living in the land, but to have a good time doing so.

I would suggest somehow moving "Greenery still sprouted..." closer to "the landscape had taken a severe beating..." to strengthen the contrast that is intended.

I like the anecdote about the man being compelled to have a happy reunion despite the inherent sadness that should've belonged in the moment.  It's particularly striking.

I'm a little confused on the circumstances of this, though.  Second Impact was in 2001, and Yui dies in 2004, so it's odd to think that the signs of devastation would still be apparent 3 years after, or that Gendo would need a place to put Shinji 3 years before Yui dies.  I suspect the sights of the devastation aren't really relevant--just part of the setting--and that could be corrected rather painlessly.

Now, this is for the most part from Gendo's perspective (aside from a lapse at the end where the girl is telling not only him but the world to have a good day), so I tried to see what he could have taken away from this experience.  We see that he actually wants to ensure a happy reunion, but when?  Is it for right now?  Or for the future?  Ultimately, he seems to realize that he can't magically turn an unhappy event happy just by a prayer strip--it would be wrong to do so.  I say he realizes this; he doesn't show that he realizes this, but it seems reasonable to infer.  It's also somewhat oblique, in that I had to stop and think about it just to make sure I was thinking that was what he was trying to ensure.

I think Gendo's general disdain is in character for him, though.  I can't speak to the girl.  I think there's a kernel of something meaningful here, but it was difficult for me to see exactly what was going on on first reading.  As a rule, I find it better to be explicit with what one wants to get across versus being too clever and trying to hide it.  But, obviously it's all right to shoot for something in-between.

[Arakawa]

Second Impact was in 2001, and Yui dies in 2004, so it's odd to think that the signs of devastation would still be apparent 3 years after, or that Gendo would need a place to put Shinji 3 years before Yui dies.  I suspect the sights of the devastation aren't really relevant--just part of the setting--and that could be corrected rather painlessly.

Well, for reasons discussed on IRC, the fact of it being immediately after Second Impact actually determines most of the shape of the story, and I can't see any other reason for Gendo to be somewhere like Onomichi besides wanting to dump Shinji somewhere out of the way. So I guess I'll classify this as an odd one-shot (impossibility of Kamichu!/Eva seriously crossing over notwithstanding) that was enabled only by me severely misremembering Eva canon.

I guess unless someone familiar with Kamichu! has feedback, that's all there is.

[GeshronTyler]

I enjoyed it, in a melancholy sort of way. ^_^  I've only seen a few episodes of Kamichu!, but I do remember how earnestly the young goddess tries to live up to her new role.  This fic can't be anything but bittersweet, and for my part, you managed to avoid making it simply bitter.  I liked that final defiant gesture on Yurie's part.  I think it would be funny if Gendo ended up having a fairly nice day after all.  Yurie did manage to whip up a typhoon after all, so if she says everybody should have a nice day, the will!  Or she'll know the reason why. =)

Something I think might make for quite an interesting idea is a Haruhi/Kamichu! crossover...

[Arakawa]

Time to fix the canon contradiction. After some percolating in the back of my mind, I came up with this new version.

Relevant canon-explanatory-BS paragraph for the impatient:

Spoiler: ShowHide

Gendo pondered the colours of the banners hanging from the surviving buildings across the bay. The minute details of the devastation, and the subsequent rebuild, were in no wise subject to any scheme as orderly as religion. Certainly, the overall pattern might well be dictated from above, even perhaps by one man, but for that man it was well to take heed, for events at a personal scale would always turn out randomly. Lingering for too long in a building doomed to collapse... or going on a walk in the wrong place just before an earthquake... could throw everything into complete disarray. One could unexpectedly die... or worse, a close one could die... even so. Depending on certain esoteric interpretations of the Dead Sea Scrolls, a reunion with family might still be in the cards, even across the divide of death... though no amount of prayer strips could possibly make that procedure safe.

[Muphrid]

A sudden notion ocurred to Gendo.

Occurred.

"Oh, let's see, that shouldn't be too hard..." the schoolgirl answered, unfazed, "If you need a shave, I think the Upper Middle Guest House still has running water? As the name suggests, climb halfway up the hill on Blossom Street over there..."

I was under the impression most Japanese streets don't have names, and addresses go by something along the lines of "(blank) neighborhood, (black) block" or something.  I may be wrong though.

Gendo pondered the colours of the banners hanging from the surviving buildings across the bay. The minute details of the devastation, and the subsequent rebuild, were in no wise subject to any scheme as orderly as religion. Certainly, the overall pattern might well be dictated from above, even perhaps by one man, but for that man it was well to take heed, for events at a personal scale would always turn out randomly. Lingering for too long in a building doomed to collapse... or going on a walk in the wrong place just before an earthquake... could throw everything into complete disarray. One could unexpectedly die... or worse, a close one could die... even so. Depending on certain esoteric interpretations of the Dead Sea Scrolls, a reunion with family might still be in the cards, even across the divide of death... though no amount of prayer strips could possibly make that procedure safe.

I think "in no way subject" instead of "wise subject"? 


To be honest, I find myself confused with respect to what the circumstances are now.  Gendo still seems to want to dump Shinji off on someone, but we established that Second Impact happens well before Yui dies.  Is the intention that Gendo is visiting a tutor, knowing that Yui may die (or be forced to merge with the Eva) soon?