Makaril (Afina)

[Anastasia]

Starting with this chat since it was DM provoked to be right after the meeting.

The heartbeat of Lifasa soothes you.

You fly along with Makaril, leaving Aurora behind for Lifasa. A short trip to a small grove of trees on the plains, where Makari descends and lands. There is space here - a simple fallen log in good condition, fresh and new still. Makaril sits and once done, "I've lost as many friends after victory as before."

He pauses, turning to you and smiling. It's a sad smile, but one full of love that you feel within you, his celestial nature made apparent. "Warriors who strive for so much suddenly find themselves without a cause. A peace they long sought but are ill equipped to manage, a freedom from war that leads to a tyranny of frightening choices. Happily ever after is hard for those scarred by war and driven by need."

A pause as the breeze blows, sweet and pure as any you felt before Lifasa's fall. "What I'm saying is that I understand, Afina. The mind is changed by what you went through. You cannot be what you were before and are a champion now. Your fate is your own and that's hard for you, isn't it?"

[Ebiris]

Flying along with Makaril out to this quiet glade, Afina sits on the log next to the far larger angel, a few feet away so she can turn her head up at him without having to crane her neck. "I've never really lived for myself," she admits, glad he seems to understand. "Before it was all duty to Ilsenine. Then I had the Crusade... it was an impossible dream, but one that could consume me completely. So long as I kept fighting I didn't have to ask questions."

She's silent for a few moments, looking around the restored Lifasa, seeming more beautiful than even in her memories. "There's things to do. I want to punish every devil that touched Lifasa, from the meanest lemure up to Asmodeus himself. There are other debts to be paid and scores to be settled. Queen Titania even bade me to forge a new court on Lifasa. I'd been trying to learn diplomacy and leadership for that - I can lead in battle against a foe, but in peace?" Her lithe shoulders rise and fall in a tiny shrug. "None of it consumes me like the Crusade did, though."

[Anastasia]

"It won't consume you." Makaril agrees, ever so quietly. "It's because your next battle isn't against devils, demons or anything like that. The next battle is for you, Afina. It is a battle against yourself, to understand, grow and find a place in peace as well as war."

A pause, Makaril seeming to enjoy the shaded sunlight and cool breeze. "I've lost victorious friends to depression, suicide of all stripes and ill advised ventures. Paladins agreeing to serve in a diabolical Blood War legion, only because they need to fight more demons. A mage agreeing to help a mercane company trade with yugoloths, because it gives him a chance to gain information on his hated foes and kill them."

A sigh, a deep current of measured sorrow. "I mourn them every day, Afina. You need to learn how to live for yourself, not as an instrument of revenge and justice. Not even I crusade constantly, there are periods of rest. The Heavens do not demand eternal servitude to war."

[Ebiris]

"No one ever told me to fight to free Lifasa. It was the first decision I'd ever made for myself... first one that mattered, anyway," Afina says, taking her hat off and setting it on her lap as she looks down at her sole surviving memento of her former life, of the old Lifasa. "I learned and grew so much, became more than just someone's tool or weapon. But it was always a crutch. If I didn't have that goal, then I'd truly be adrift, left to find my own way amidst eternity. Much easier to keep my gaze fixed forward on this dream than to look to the sides or down at my feet."

[Anastasia]

Makaril nods, "I heard you and Bubbles...?" A question left unconfirmed, "A relationship is a good place to start. Finding your way on your own is easier with someone at your side. Someone who can support you when you look to the beautiful world that has risen from the ashes you tried so hard not to look at."

[Ebiris]

"It's not really a romance but we enjoy each other's company well enough," Afina answers. "She might be recalled by the Padisha now the war is won. Or left to represent her interests here. I'll have to ask. Lots of us are like that, representatives of powers allied to the Crusade, with other jobs waiting for them."

[Anastasia]

"You'll part with many friends for a time," Makaril agrees, "Find out and decide. Beyond that, find the place for your court and build your home. Without magic, just your hands and time. A project that will take some time, but you know well the satisfaction at the end of a job well done. Make something that is yours and yours alone."

[Ebiris]

That prospect doesn't really appeal to Afina. It's probably good advice, just... it doesn't sit right with her. Still, just exploring Lifasa to find where she should build that home isn't a bad idea. So much of the world she fought for is a mystery to her, a much larger realm outside her insular little forest that once seemed so huge. "After we decide what to do about Aurora," she resolves, standing up and donning her hat again before she flutters into the air. "Thank you for your advice, Makaril. I'll try and follow it."

[Anastasia]

"You're welcome. If you need more, I'll be here a time yet, or come find me in Elysium." Makaril says, "You're not alone in your feelings and struggles."

[Ebiris]

"I'll remember that," she promises, flying back to Aurora.

[Anastasia]

More in a few, going to merge you and Moore most likely.