A New Beginning

[Anastasia]

With a lightning quick snap of his jaws, Victory swallows the hunk of meat.

Meanwhile, Miranda takes a long breath, "Don't deflect. You know what I want to know. Reasons, motivations - what the hell you are, for that matter."

[Yuthirin]

Calleigh cackles as she begins hurling strips of meat off the plate and toward the tiger, rapidly depleting the tray.

'As I said, I am irrigo. Where once there were millions of us, then there were five. Our physical forms shed, we are beings of pure intellect and will. Until recently, anyway. A god silent for millions of years spoke clear to us and demanded we reconstitute our race. So we delved into the realm of the divine and created both life and soul from nothing. No retribution has come, our god approves. So it's sort of kind of not blasphemy? I suppose. Anyway. Giant non-undead ghost squids. The five of us, anyway. There are fleshy babies now. They're adorable. If we can figure out how to get you to not destroy the prime, you could go see them.

As for motivations, while we were killing Tawlfagn and expelling Baator's forces from Lifasa, he mentioned in his madness that everything had been done to prevent the Prophecy of Primus from coming true. Something about Shar. I've not read the thing. Anyway, I decided that the only way we're going to fix the planes is if we kill Shar. So we're going to kill Shar. Aren't you glad you decided to join up?'

[Anastasia]

"I....see." Miranda closes her eyes and rests back, a distinct sigh escaping her lips.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dana waves a hand, "Look, once your balls drop and you stop pissing yourself, this shit virtually works itself out. Well, if you do a lot of killing to fucking help, and let me tell you, we do a lot of fucking killing. Some fucking too, but that's more of a sideline. At least I do, Tryll...shit, do you even have a cock, Tryll?" Dana glances over to you. "Anyfuckingway, any more questions before I start making something out of your pale ass?"

"Dozens," Miranda takes a long breath out, "Dozens and dozens and dozens. But right now I only have one - this training is going to be unpleasant, isn't it?"

"Fuck yeah it will be!" Dana reaches over to pat Miranda's shoulder with a big, sardonic grin, "So hey Tryll, how soon do you need us again? I need some time to unfuck this bitch."

[Yuthirin]

'We're training on the road, I'm afraid. I want to look into that psychic grumpier that Deborah is after. I've never heard of such a thing, but apparently someone stole it. The upshot is that you might get to stab the man.'

[Anastasia]

I'm guessing you're on phone based on the auto correct typos?

"Well fuck," Dana drawls, miming someone walking with two fingers, "You can teleport your ass to the paradise Debonah's killing time at and go see how fucking urgent is is. Shit, Tryll, you can't do this shit half fucking cocked or you end up with no cock at all because you get it lopped the fuck off. If it's not urgent, you can give me some time to sort this out."

"I-" Miranda begins.

"Need to shut your fucking mouth," Dana doesn't even glance at her, shutting her up cold.

"Well now-" Miranda tries again.

"Look, shut your mouth-cunt up a minute. I've seen shit that would make a typical valkyrie run screaming and fought worse. I've seen an entire world assfucked by Hell's legions and fought the smug sons of whores who dominated it. You're going to shut up and I'm going to train you up so you can keep up. Spare me the ego, half the teachers in Ysgard would have you be a corpse by now and call it education. When we're done you're going to be good enough to grab Lixer by his smug face and introduce him to three feet of valkyrie steel."

"Who...I mean, who is-"

"New Lord of the First, tremendous asshole and Daddy's boy who probably only got the position because Asmodeus regrets not feeding him to is hellhounds, so he has to do something with his boil-ridden, necromantic ass." Dana turns her attention back to you, waiting for an answer.

[Yuthirin]

Home now, will fix. To be fair though, that's hilarious.

'I don't have now now.' Tryll says.

"Y'know," Calleigh says, slinging a slice of meat at Dana's face, "I don't understand that. Why did Asmodad make Lixer lord of the First anyhow? It's not like he's been successful. Heck, Aurora stomped him more times than we actually stomped Bel. Did he ever win against us?"

[Anastasia]

"Hell if I know," Dana snatches the meat and pops it down. 'Do I look like a jackass overcompensating for something?"

[Yuthirin]

"I wumdr wht happen tuh Bel." Calleigh muses, gnawing messily on a piece of meat.

'Hmm, more I think about it, I think it was Makaril hunting the grimoire and not Debonah...I've got things crossed up. Calleigh! Where's the scroll!'

A scroll with tiny meat-juice fingerprints leaps into the air from Calleigh's side. It is subsequently snatched from the air and unfurled.

'Yes. Makaril. Hmmmmmmmmmm. I see what you mean, Dana. I've gone scatterbrained again.'

[Anastasia]

"Yeah, so c'mon." Dana gets up, grabbing Miranda's hand and leading her off, "We'll be off training," she calls, leading Miranda deeper and away.

As they do, you hear such gems from Miranda as, "...why lava?" "What about my clothes?!" "MIND SPIDERS?!"

Once they're gone...

Next move is yours, Tryll.

[Yuthirin]

Well. The scroll rolls itself up and stuffs itself back into Calleigh's pack. 'I suppose we're on our own, then, Calleigh.'

Calleigh heaves the plate over the side of the table, leaving the rest of the food for Victory. "Let's go!"

Time to look up Makaril.

[Anastasia]

How do you intend to find him?

[Yuthirin]

No idea. Dana managed to hear about him on Elysium, so we'll start there.

[Anastasia]

Okay, cool. How are you getting to Elysium?

[Yuthirin]

Reality Revision for a Gate spell, I guess. I'll probably burn that hour of bad casting while searching.

[Anastasia]

You appear in the warmth of Elysium, besides a babbling brook that cross a wide open, lightly forested area. It's sunny, pleasant and downright perfect.

Go ahead.