Paranoia Episode II: The Clone Bores

[Trunkyboy]

"Well, at least he died while in the service of Friend Computer," Ded says semi-cheerfully.  Seeing as it was the only object left, he reached out for the stick thingy...

Actually, "Scrubby, would you mind picking up that particular object and insuring that it is clean?  Dirt and germs are treason after all!"  Ded sounds a lot more cheerful now as he takes a couple of steps back.

[Captain K.]

Hal is fairly sure that this is a gun.  It has a barrel and a trigger like your laser guns.  It looks like it could do some serious damage when fired.  However, it is very heavy!  You can barely lift it.  After wrestling with it awhile, you manage to sling it over your back, in a position that is sure to cause back pain during your sleepcycle.

Burg looks at the vial.  It looks like Bouncy Bubbly Beverage, except it's not Bouncy or Bubbly.  After taking a sniff, the burning in your nostrils tells you this is not something to drink.  It's some sort of acid!

Scrubby pauses in its cheerful cleaning of John's corpse to pick up the sharp implement and give it to Ded.  "Anything to be of service!" squeals the bot.  It then resumes scrubbing the blood off the floor.

Ded examines the object.  It doesn't appear to be a weapon, although you could probably put it through someone's eye.  Touching the sharp end, Ded is surprised to see some of the black part rub off on his fingers.  Hmm, you could probably make a mark with this thing on a wall or something.

John Sm-R-ITH-2 arrives and walks through the door.

EDIT:  THE COMPUTER DOES NOT GO OFFLINE OR REQUIRE MAINTENANCE, FOOLISH GAMEMASTER.

[Zenthor]

John notices a nearby monitor blip some words of the corner of his eye, but makes no note of it.  Routine... things, more than likely.  He then looks toward Mister and then at his Team.  Specifically Burg.

"You.  Burg.  The druggy.  Mind handing me one of those pills?  Nothing deserves a morale booster more than getting killed and having to be respawned, y'know.  Especially when said death involves eggs."

[Halbarad]

Hal looks on a bit nervously as John requests the pills. Were these things what they were supposed to be troubleshooting?

[Captain K.]

*The Computer is rather busy at work (exterminating traitors, of course), so we'll pick up tomorrow evening*

[Irius]

"Sure thing, friend commander!" Burg beemed at John as he deftly popped a pill out of the jar and held it out for the recently recloned Smith.  

"And, if you want a special pick me up, I got this here vial o' beverage from Friend Computer that might just work wonders!"

[Trunkyboy]

Ded carefully packs away the stick thingy before getting a pensive look on his face, no doubt contemplating the many wonders of FC.

[Zenthor]

John readily took the pill, put his cupped hand to his mouth, swallowed, and crossed his arms, hands clenched.  A smile grew on his face; looking forced at first but more natural within seconds.

"I'll pass on the beverage," he responded.  "So... now what?"

[Captain K.]

WHY ARE YOU TROUBLESHOOTERS SLACKING?  PROCEED IMMEDIATELY TO SECTOR KZK!  THERE IS A COMMUNIST DEMONSTRATION IN PROGRESS.  EXTERMINATE!  EXTERMINATE!

Mister-Y-MAN waves goodbye to you.  "Good luck, and shoot a few stinking Commies for me!"

[Halbarad]

Hal grimaces under the weight of the enormous weapon slung across his back. "Of course, Friend Computer - we're on our way!"

[Captain K.]

When you arrive at sector KZK, you see a man in a fuzzy hat with a mustache. He is standing on a box and talking to several clones that have assembled there. "The Computer is a borg-waz-e that wants to keep the workers trampled underfoot!  You should work for the good of the common clone, not because a machine tells you to!"

The other clones seem enraptured by his propaganda.

[Irius]

Burg had, over his years, he wasn't sure how many years, but he was certain it was more than one at least, as a clone, come to a certain conclusion about the workings of the world.  One of which was the Law of Hapiness which stated that the more happiness was around you, the more you wanted to be happy.  And that, conversly, the more negativity there was, then there'd be more and more unhappyness until the whole universe was a suckhole of angry.  And this dude was one paragon of negativity.

And so, even though he would have done it anyways (well, he wouldn't have until Friend Computer made him a troubleshooter because then he'd have lacked a nifty laser gun) he aimed with Friend Computer's blessing and shot his laser at the guy speaking.

In the aftermath of his shot he spoke out loud.

"Dudes of Alpha complex!  Listen not to such negativity, and be happy to one another!  Free Happy Fun Tyme pills for all!"

[Trunkyboy]

Ded, having gotten seperated from the group, rushes with upmost haste toward the site of communist activity.  He was going to shoot commies, oh joy!

[Zenthor]

John went up next to Burg, quickly silencing him and raising his laser pistol.

"You all have been charged with listening to Communist propaganda."  He stated.  "You have two options.  Re-pledge your allegience to Friend Computer and returning to the life style of an upstanding clone, and treating yourself to some of my cohorts pills, or continue as you have been and join your leader here at our feet."

He nodded to Hal to aim that giant gun of his into the crowd.  He then aimed his own laser pistol at the crowd, stared down at the Communists' body, then back at the crowd.  "So what do you decide?"

[Captain K.]

The Communist reaches up and shoves a piece of paper into John's hand before dying.

The crowd of clones shrug their shoulders and take some Happy Pills, seriously depleting Burg's supply.

A couple of minutes after Ded arrives, Scrubby appears.  It appears to be badly damaged - there are huge pieces missing from its body.  They look like... bite marks?  The bot rolls forward slowly and haphazardly, sputtering, "must... clean... must... clean."