Paranoia Episode II: The Clone Bores

[Captain K.]

Okay, everyone should have received a PM about their character.  We'll get started now.

Please post in the order Zenthor, Hal, Excal, Trunkyboy.  You don't need to wait for me to respond to each post, but I'll try to keep up.  Anything you see in ALL CAPS is the Computer speaking through a nearby monitor.  It's generally a good idea to do what the Computer says immediately.  The Computer is always watching!  (but not always paying attention, so you may be able to get away with things)

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After some searching, you locate the sector where you were supposed to go.  After entering, you find yourself in a hallway.  There are three other clones in black Infrared-clearance uniforms.  Everyone looks confused as to what to do now.

There are three doors in the hallway, a Red door, a Yellow door, and a Blue door.

[Zenthor]

John Sm-R-ITH glanced around.  "So, you're the other troubleshooters, correct?" he asked, talking to the three near him.  "Hail Friend Computer, to you, then" he said without waiting for a response.  Of course they were the other troubleshooters, why else would they be in this sector?

[Halbarad]

Hal Lap-R-INE glanced up at the newcomer, nodding. He raised his hand in greeting, then caught himself. "Hail, friend. Friend computer called me here, yes indeed." He seems rather excited about the prospect. "I've always wanted the chance to become a Troubleshooter."

[Irius]

A sandy blond with a cleft chin looks around him and flashes a grin at his new companions.  "Greetings, friend troubleshooters.  Name's Burg, Clearance R, from Sector Kayengee.  And just from lookin at us I can tell we're gonna be the best damned group of Troubleshooters Friend Computer ever sent ta shoot trouble!"

[Trunkyboy]

"My name's Ded-R-Wee-1, and I am just super excited about becoming a troubleshooter!  I am so glad Friend Computer has deemed me worthy of such a honor!"
The tall and slim clone chokes with emotion while subtely checking his companions out.  Commies could be everywhere you know.

[Captain K.]

The yellow door opens, and a clone in a yellow jumpsuit steps out.

"Oh, you're all here.  My name's Mister-Y-MAN.  Let's go in here and get you outfitted."

Mister pushes open the red door and ushers you inside.  He then hands you red shirts to put on over your black coveralls.  "Can't have anyone confuse you with Infrared drones, can we?"

After putting on the poorly-sized shirts, Mister hands each of you a laser pistol.  "Standard issue for Troubleshooters.  Needless to say, if you see trouble, you should shoot it.  This includes clones who use unregistered mutant powers, are members of Secret Societies, clones who violate their security clearance, and anybody else the Computer tells you to shoot."

"Now then, let me look at your psyche evaluations."  Mister reads some printouts and then says, "Okay, John Sm-R-ITH, you're going to be the Team Leader.  You get to boss these other guys around, and you get blamed if they screw up."

"Burg-R-KNG, you're the Morale Officer.  Your job is to keep everyone else in the team happy." He hands Burg a case of Happy Pills for the purpose."

"Hal Lap-R-INE, you're Equipment Guy.  Better make sure everyone's pistols function accuractely, because you never know when you'll need them."

"And Ded-R-WEE, you're going to be the Hygiene Officer.  Make sure everyone stays clean at all times.  To assist you in this task, you'll have your own personal scrubbot."  A small trashcan-sized bot rolls out from the corner of the room and speaks in a grating mechanical voice, "Greetings, Citizen Ded-R-WEE!  I am Scrubbot 986K7, but you can call me Scrubby if it pleases you to do so.  I love to clean, and I enjoy helping out clones whenever I can."

Mister looks at everyone.  "Does anyone have any questions before we head to R&D for the rest of your equipment?"

[Zenthor]

"I have no questions,"  John responded, smiling at the thought of being the team leader.  Sure, he wondered how he became the team leader, but some things are just better left unasked.

At least he didn't get stuck with hygene work.

[Halbarad]

"I get to be the Equipment Guy? Awesome!" Hal exults, proceeding to make a thorough examination of his pistol - able to identify the trigger after only two guesses.

[Irius]

Burg looks at his newly acquired jar of Happy Tyme Fun Pills and quietly shakes the bottle before popping it open and flipping a pill expertly into his mouth and down the gullet.

"Oh yeah...  me and these puppies are gonna make sure that this is the happiest group o' Troubleshooters you ever did see!" he said as a dopey grin slowly spread over his face.

[Trunkyboy]

Ded looks at his bot and smiles widely, although with a slight twitch...  

"I will carry out my FC given duties to the very best of my abilities!  Oh!  I have a question!  Will I recieve other tools to aid me in my duties as the Hgiene Officer?  In case Scrubby malfunctions?"

He then squats down and proceeds to examine his bot intently, no doubt marvelling in FC's generosity.

[Captain K.]

Mister-Y-MAN smiles, "Oh, I don't think that bot will malfunction.  We supply our hygiene officers with only the finest equipment.  Now then, let's head to R&D."

After a short walk, you arrive at Research and Development.  There is nobody there when you arrive, but there is a note on the table, next to four devices.

Mister reads the note out loud, "I'm sorry, but we had urgent business that takes us far, far away from this room.  Please distribute these items to the new troubleshooters."

"Well then, that's it.  There are four R&D items here, and four of you, so everybody take one.  Team Leader, you get first choice."

The items on the table are a fist-sized object shaped like an egg, a very large thing that looks like a gun, a vial filled with blue liquid, and a thin length of sharpened material that is black on one end.

[Zenthor]

John Sm-R-ITH glanced at the items on the table.  After thinking for a moment, running his fingers over the objects, he reached over for the egg shaped... thing.

"This seems more my forte," he muttered to himself.

[Captain K.]

Upon picking up the egg, it quickly unfolds in John's hand, revealing an array of saws and blades inside.  The egg spins around quickly and eviscerates John, to the shock of all present.

"Um, guess that was the bad egg," says Mister.  "I'll have his replacement clone sent here right away.  Now, who's next?  Come on, don't be shy.  Things like that almost never happen... twice... in a row..."

[Halbarad]

Hal seems a bit shaken up at poor John's fate, but true to form, he picks up the large gun-like object - careful to keep the ends of it pointing somewhere other than at him.

[Irius]

Burg's smile falters for a few seconds before he pops a pill, to bolster his morale if no one elses, and high on happy, gleefully picks up the vial with the blue goo.  Inquisitively, he pops it open and gives the contents a quick sniff.