There's not enough bitching

[Brian]

...that sucks. :(  I'm sorry, Panda.

[Anastasia]

Can you talk about it any detail now? I mean...from the way you framed it, it sounds like something minor being blown up.

[Brian]

I don't know why, but I just got a spontaneous attack of crippling depression.

There's not even a reason for it.



Sometimes I hate whatever parts of me make me feel.

Especially the part that makes me hate.

[Brian]

Still depressed--  Even woke up that way.  It was strange, I had a dream (which I remembered some of), where I felt vague amusement about things, but I woke up and my depression immediately returned.  Even meditating and trying to force myself into emotional shutdown didn't block out the depression.

Tried going to work and ignoring it, but sat at my desk for an hour feeling more miserable with each passing second.


...am home again now.  Going back to bed; maybe I'll get to dream about feeling something more positive again. >_<

[Jon]

I've had days like that. Here's hoping you find some joy soon.

[Music-chan]

Cy didn't get the job he was hoping to get.

Silver lining: The chef likes him and offered him a lower-ranked position.
Bad side: It pays less than he earns now.

Back to the ol' job hunt.  I'm also putting in apps places because at least the gov't will know I'm trying to get another job. Life is kind of up in the air right now.

[Arakawa]

Toronto Transit Commission is going to pot these days. Used to be I could budget about forty minutes to get to work (getting out to match the bus schedule) and an hour to get back. Now for the same commute I need to budget more like a full hour in the morning and -- today I took an hour and a half getting back. Some kind of scheduling snafu on the subway. Last week there was a day with *two* snafus -- someone felt sick at St. George and something caught on fire in St. Clair West station, both events happening simultaneously.

Ironically, today I was stuck in one of the new Rocket trains and the doorman was passing the time by repeatedly opening and closing its doors, the whole thing reminding me uncomfortably of scary stories I've read about that time MUNI Metro's fancy new signaling system went haywire in San Francisco.

(On the plus side, the new subway train was *shiny* and I was entertained by the computer-generated announcer voice repeatedly warning us to stand clear of doors, not to mention Hong Kong-style blinkenlights on the subway map.)

[Brian]

Wake up to inbox with nearly 50 e-mails saying, "Where's 'Sympathy'?  It's coming back, right?"

Ugh.  Not sure what to do.  Re-write, remove the most (personally) uplifting and optimistic parts?  Re-write, ignore some comments and try and write something that selfishly satisfies (evidently) just me?

No good answers.


Edit: Okay, compromise wins again.

[Yuthirin]

So apparently a train derailed on the track I'm on. Freight. Yay.

[Anastasia]

Gonna be stuck there awhile, eh?

Maybe they'll pay for a cab if you're lucky.

[Yuthirin]

It's METRA.

[Anastasia]

That's shorthand for that you're fucked, isn't it?

[Yuthirin]

Half an hour late. Not terrible. Almost to the theater.

[Anastasia]

I hate drive by virus attempts. It's gotten to the point where I run Firefox in a sandbox since I'm sick of this shit.

[Yuthirin]

AVG + Chrome = relative safety.