There's not enough bitching

[Ergoemos]

So far I've been trying to ignore her passive aggressive behavior, but that's not really helping matters. I mean, I can DO passive aggressive if I really have to, but it's so goddamn unprofessional. I have no desire to behave this way at work. I'm there to do my job and I do it well, even if I'm not quite as fast as my coworkers. I'm thinking of just straight up telling her off the next time she makes some comment about me, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. I may just be non-confrontational to a fault though.

My sympathies. As someone who is also terribly non-confrontational, I know the feeling. I agree with Iron Dragoon's advice. 

I suggest you observe to see if she acts similarly to anyone else who is part-time/less senior than she is. I can't imagine that, if she does this only to one person, that she doesn't have the same impact on others. Rarely have I seen a person be singularly aggravating to only one person at work and not annoy others as well. Generally, you shouldn't name any other names unless they ask to be, but saying that you aren't the only victim you have seen does merit better investigation.

Also, unless there is some extreme shortage of office supplies, she shouldn't be appropriating yours at all.

If you want a way to broach this with your supervisor, you could always ask to see if there is anything they have found wrong with your work, or if they expect you to be doing better. It would be an easy segue into how you have been getting concerned, given that your coworker is constantly depreciating the work you do, and that it has become distracting from your real work.

I have found that, as long as you are actually doing your job, directly asking the supervisor if there is more you should be doing tends to lead to kind reactions and dismissal of your concern, though I may have simply run into exceptions, rather than examples, of the norm.

[Rukatin]

Destiny was sold out at my local Gamestop before I could get a copy.

[Anastasia]

Re: Bad co-worker. Iddy's right, start documenting and investigating. Get things done so she backs off.

Destiny was sold out at my local Gamestop before I could get a copy.

Can't you buy it digitally?

[Iron Dragoon]

Thanks for the advice. I've been a bit at a loss as to what to do. It's mostly been little things, for example our workstations are right next to each other and she's slowly infringed on my space over a long period of time now. I mean, I'm not there all the time or nearly as much as she is, but at one point I had reserved office supplies for my own use and now she views them all as hers, even though they are stored in the shared area between our workstations that I used to have for myself. I mean, I feel really stupid complaining over something so little and neither of us actually own the office supplies, but do I deserve not to have anything on hand just because I'm part time?

If it's stressing you out to the point of not wanting to go to work, then it's not a little thing. Every big problem is just a series of smaller problems piled up. TBH, it sounds like she's not happy with her job, or that she got passed over for a promotion. I've seen behavior like you're describing in the military from people who've been told they don't have the leadership qualities to get promoted. Their reaction tends to be extreme and overbearing to publicly prove they do.

Which, ya know, only makes them look like an asshole.

It's like I said, just little things, but the little things keep piling on top of each other. At this point I feel like she's watching me and she keeps making remarks about how I'm not working fast enough or annoyingly pointing out stuff I "should be taking care of". The obvious implication (implied by her tone of voice, comments, and body language when she interacts with me) is that I am a lazy bastard who's slowing everyone else down and who keeps leaving work for other people. I REALLY HATE THIS.

Well, little things or not, they're distracting you from your job, and distracting her from her job, as well. She's not just slowing you down, but herself. From a supervisor's point of view, that's two people not working because of one person.

Further, if she doesn't have any offical position over you, she's got no place to be saying those things to you. Honestly, I would start making notes of the extra work she wants you to do, and then casually bring it up to your supervisor:

"Hey, <annoying woman> told me I needed to get this done today, but I couldn't get to it after I finished the work you assigned me. This is the list of what she said needed to get done, so it needs to get passed to the next shift so it can get finished on time." Sort of deal. Be professional about it, but again, if *you* dont' address it, it certainly won't get solved. Additionally, your supervisor is managing multiple people. Sometimes things fall through the cracks, and he/she may just not know there's an issue with her behavior. I'm willing to bet this woman is reserving her comments for when the supervisor isn't within earshot.

So far I've been trying to ignore her passive aggressive behavior, but that's not really helping matters. I mean, I can DO passive aggressive if I really have to, but it's so goddamn unprofessional. I have no desire to behave this way at work. I'm there to do my job and I do it well, even if I'm not quite as fast as my coworkers. I'm thinking of just straight up telling her off the next time she makes some comment about me, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. I may just be non-confrontational to a fault though.

Blowing up at her is absolutely the last thing you want to do. That will lead to a counseling for you, which will put you on a radar you don't want to be on. Having been a supervisor, people who lose their shit, no matter how justified, concern me more than people being assholes.

(Granted, I dealt with a work place that had free access to firearms, so my concerns are a little slanted.)

The best thing you can do is ask your supervisor for a meeting time and preface the conversation with, "I know these issues are mostly small and I hate making them seem like big things, but this is an issue that's been on-going for X months/weeks, and it's been *really* distracting me from my work. Her behavior is slowing me down, and I have no idea where this extra work is coming from, but it's keeping me from completing my assigned tasks."

It's concise and addresses the issues in a framework that'll make the supervisor realize that it's impacting work performance. It'll get attention. You just have to be ready to back it up, which is where the notes and lists I mentioned before come into play.

I suggest you observe to see if she acts similarly to anyone else who is part-time/less senior than she is. I can't imagine that, if she does this only to one person, that she doesn't have the same impact on others. Rarely have I seen a person be singularly aggravating to only one person at work and not annoy others as well. Generally, you shouldn't name any other names unless they ask to be, but saying that you aren't the only victim you have seen does merit better investigation.

This is a really good suggestion. If you can get examples of instances of her doing this to others, or others who agree her behavior is inappropriate, to back you up, then it turns into something that the supervisor *can't* ignore. Two people not getting along is a fairly minor thing, overall. Three, four, or five, ect., being impacted by it is a significantly different issue.

I have found that, as long as you are actually doing your job, directly asking the supervisor if there is more you should be doing tends to lead to kind reactions and dismissal of your concern, though I may have simply run into exceptions, rather than examples, of the norm.

Understand that people, in general, don't like confrontation at all. The vast majority of people will take a non-confrontational path if it's open. A quick mention of an issue is easy for someone to dismiss. If you bring up an issue with notes, lists, and witnesses, it becomes something they can't ignore. It's also a matter of workload. Sometimes supervisors just don't have time to deal with things that -seem- like petty problems, which is why you have frame it in a context that they can't ignore. Things like it slowing down the work of multiple people, or work not getting finished. Two people not liking each other doesn't matter to a supervisor for the most part; it's not their job to make every like each other. It *is* their job to make sure tasks get completed, and when you have proof that it isn't because one person is being an ass, then it's a situation they have to deal with.

And if they don't, well, that's what HR is for.

Also, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's dealt with this. Though this is sort of a convo. that should move to PM, input from others may offer you a path that you're more comfortable with. I'll admit my suggestions are a bit confrontational, but I'm used to working with military and former military people, and confrontational is just how things work for me.

[Rukatin]

Console player Dracos

[Rukatin]

I really should get around to reading Worm one of these days. The amount of fanfiction on the forums I go to about it is staggering.

[Anastasia]

I really should get around to reading Worm one of these days. The amount of fanfiction on the forums I go to about it is staggering.

It's worth reading. As someone who doesn't think much of it, it's still an incredible effort that deserves a chance. All the fanfiction around it is just a plus.

[Rukatin]

Well now all that hard work was for nothing. Depression mode, activate!

[Anastasia]

Well now all that hard work was for nothing. Depression mode, activate!

Sorry man, that does blow. I'll keep a slot open for you if your times line up better, it's the least I can do.

[Merc]

*pats* It wasn't for nothing! You learned about gestalt and starting a character at higher levels!

[thepanda]

Folks broke into my house while I was at work last week. They shattered the back window, stole my tv, x box, and a bunch of games. On top of that, when they yanked the wires from my computer (they took the external hd but not the cords and I was using my tv as my monitor so they yanked those cords too) they fucked up my computer.

This is the second full reinstall this year. No back ups. Lost all my links again. I am not happy.

(fortunately, I was able to recover the external hd and my missing games. There must not have been enough of them to grab everything in one trip so they stuck a buck of my stuff in an abandoned house nearby to get later.) Filed a report but I doubt I'll be getting either my tv or my xbox back.

[Anastasia]

Folks broke into my house while I was at work last week. They shattered the back window, stole my tv, x box, and a bunch of games. On top of that, when they yanked the wires from my computer (they took the external hd but not the cords and I was using my tv as my monitor so they yanked those cords too) they fucked up my computer.

This is the second full reinstall this year. No back ups. Lost all my links again. I am not happy.

(fortunately, I was able to recover the external hd and my missing games. There must not have been enough of them to grab everything in one trip so they stuck a buck of my stuff in an abandoned house nearby to get later.) Filed a report but I doubt I'll be getting either my tv or my xbox back.

Condolences, Panda. Nothing sucks like a burglary. It's really an offensive at against your sense of security and well being.

I doubt you'll see your TV/Xbox either. Do you have insurance, at least?

[thepanda]

No, unfortunately. My dad kept telling me to at least get renters insurance.

But did I listen?

[Anastasia]

No, unfortunately. My dad kept telling me to at least get renters insurance.

But did I listen?

Live and learn.

Do you live alone? There's a lot to be said about someone being at home at all times, namely that it makes burglaries a lot less likely.

[Dracos]

You have my utmost sympathies, Panda.  That truly shits.