What are you reading?

[Dracos]

Nonsense.

We shall simply view that as a short post from ye and expect the same level always.

[Dracos]

*glances at the peggy-sue one*

Infectuous Peggy Sue?

Don't see that pattern too often, even if it's kind of lazy :P

-- 

And  that's that.

www.fanfiction.net/s/7262793/1/Ashes-of-the-Past

Has worn out it's welcome 2 chapters in.  Just way too much focus on everybody being outrageously stupidly powerful with no context but them all sort of backpattingly showing off superpowers.  So far, one character has had the whole time-travel thing explained, whereas everyone else has been infected with peggy-sue and then immediately gone along with the protagonist's objective of the moment.  It's hard to have fun with a peggy-sue that neither is interacting with non-changed characters nor with an actual static plot to twist.

[Jason_Miao]

LoTR/General series by David Drake crossover (where Saruman is less 'Evil' and more 'Gunpowder + Innovation')
www.fanfiction.net/s/7568728/1/Saruman-of-many-Devices

That is a freaking brilliant idea.

I'll have to read it to see how it's executed, but...wow.

---

Okay, I'm on chapter 5 now, and...no.

I doubt LotR needs much introduction to anyone on this board, but David Drake and the series (or more accurately, the series of series) may.  In short, David Drake is a historian who writes fantasy and military fiction (and sometimes both).  The setting is that humanity once spanned the stars in a space empire that collapsed aeons ago.  In some areas, technology and civilization have partially reemerged.  A super-computer that sat at the heart of the former empire, and one of the first generals it enlisted, contacts prospects at each planet (one per series) and trains that person in war and policy, so that the planet will be ready to rejoin civilization.  Each planet has several factions that have striking similarities to several historical nations or areas on Earth.  Basically, this is David Drake's setting to write "What if the Persians were fighting the Japanese, the Zulus, and the Crusaders?" or such.  It's not a walk in the park for the chosen general, though, who has to fight the corruption/treachery from within his own home culture and who is limited by the technological bounds of his era.  It's not jets vs. cavemen; it's "Hey, the Incas had the technology to build Galleons.  What if they had?"

Unfortunately, the writer missed most of that, so we don't get to read about Saruman fighting to trounce the various nations of Middle Earth through bold military, political, and economic moves in order to unify the land from its hippy-elf and barbarian horsemen masters, all the while trying to evade the All-Seeing Eye of Sauron.  Instead, we have Uruk-hai with rifles and modern artillery who beat up hapless bowmen.  Moreover, the summary pushes Saruman as the main character, but after chapter 2, he's conspicuously absent.  We get to follow the ANC Uruk commander in one combat scene after another. 

You know how Tolkien would write multi-page descriptions of everything?  This fic does the opposite of that.  I'm not saying that Tolkien's multi-page descriptions of "We are passing a rock.  This rock is named Arblargamire.  It lay dormant throughout the first age, buried in the depths of the land, until it was unearthed during the last defense of the aborted colony of Boatmurdered during 763 SE and promptly washed down the stream of Colgatanome, a stream which is beloved by the elves and causes cavities when its waters are imbibed.." is how someone should write a story.   But "Here's a one or two page description of town.  They hate orcs.  Orcs shoot up bad oppressors.  They love orcs.  Repeat." isn't it either. 

The writer had a great idea.  And he has the patter (as far as someone who hasn't served in the military himself can tell).  What he doesn't doesn't do is develop any depth of the world, its conflict, and its characters.  And that's a shame, because Tolkien + military/econ/political intrigue could be a real winner.

--

Glanced at a few more of his stories, and I now realize that this is one of those writers who uses the unconnected vignette style of writing.  For me, that sort of writing works if the story structure is designed around a series of vignettes (e.g Innortal's loops), somewhat less but still readable if it's nonsensical humor (e.g, Vulpine, as linked), and not at all otherwise.

Too bad, since the scenes he actually does write work fairly well.

[Pensive Rumination]

Nonsense.

We shall simply view that as a short post from ye and expect the same level always.

Challenge Accepted. ;)

Just to warn you people.  I don't consider myself to be a particularly discerning reader.  I'll pretty much read anything as long as it's not outright crap, and I'll even read those if I'm tired enough to make it sound better in my head.  So I'll try to leave out those fics which I definitely don't think you'll like and leave the tough reviews to those who can actually tell what decent writing looks like.  The stories below have all been updated within the last 4 days.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7366778/1/The-Dark-Companion
LoTR/D&D crossover.  Take one 'Good' Drow Ranger (no it's not Drizzt, this one is female), throw them into Middle Earth (in which all the good guys are fighting evil, dark-skinned dudes) and see what happens.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7667766/1/Making-Magick
FoZ/Magicka crossover.  A Louise is reversed summoned fic...that tries to make some kind of sense of the world of Magicka.  Haven't played the game myself, but seeing Louise's reaction to what this world considers to be a Wizard is hilarious.  Just so you know, first few chapters are devoted to world-building and molding Louise into a state where she can actually live though the storyline without suffering a mental breakdown every few minutes.  The QUEST only just began in Chapter 4, the most recent update.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8484470/1/Potter-Who-and-the-Wossname-s-Thingummy
Unusual one, Doctor Who/Harry Potter crossover.  If there's some overarching plot other than 'The Doctor's personality gets downloaded into Harry Potter's brain' then I haven't really found it yet.  Hilarious to imagine all the speech and crazy thoughts in Matt Smiths voice though.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8679666/1/Fairy-Dance-of-Death
SAO fic.  Instead of Sword Art Online, Kayaba decides to use Alfheim Online to achieve his ultimate dream.  So instead of a slow, but steady climb to the 100th floor of a floating castle, 9 different races of Fairies must compete to escape back to reality...in a Death Game which was designed primarily for PvP.  Story is told from multiple points of view, Klein in particular plays a more prominent role than in canon.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8897316/1/Knight-of-the-Void
FoZ/Monster Girl Quest crossover.  Probably another fic inspired by Gabriel Blessing, though there is a distinct lack of lengthy AN's before each chapter begins.  Your basic 'Louise summons a guy who is a lot cooler than Saito' with the standard AU elements involved in such fics.  Probably better if you've played the game or at least know the basic history and events.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8346396/1/Fate-Extra-The-Midnight-Sea
Fate/Extra fic.  It seems to be one of those novelisation fics.  Haven't played the game myself so I can't really tell.  'Course there are obvious differences like the fact the Main Character summons two servants instead of one...and they're both female...yeah, shenanigans.  Slow to start, slice of life section dragged on forever at the beginning.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7469163/1/Primed-to-Defend-the-Universe
Metroid/Mass Effect crossover.  Samus finds herself in the Mass Effect universe, discovers a whole heap of problems and decides to be a hero again.  Hesitant to put this one up cause I'm pretty sure it counts as a Samus wank.  A lot of curb-stomping and 'Metroid tech is ssooo much better than Mass Effect stuff' involved.  Still, I guess some Metroid fans might get a kick out of it.

[thepanda]

Fate Extra fic with a male protagonist? Now I've seen everything! ^_^

Loving Making Magicka. Glad to see it updated.

[Jason_Miao]

So I'll try to leave out those fics which I definitely don't think you'll like and leave the tough reviews to those who can actually tell what decent writing looks like. 

Eh, feel free to comment away.  We all posted a bunch of fics that most people thought were pretty good on ff.net in the first half of the thread, then...we started to run low.  Sometimes, someone will find a new fic that's pretty well done, but a lot of what we post in here is "Well, *I* thought some aspects of this were pretty neat" or even "MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!  MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!   ...wanna see?"

Also, we all have different tolerances to different styles.  e.g, lots of people here have a pretty low angst tolerance, whereas I'm more accepting of it if there's a story-building point to it and the fic isn't just someone's failed emo-poet's second attempt at literature.  I hate the "Highlight-Reel" style of writing, but people keep writing fics like that, so there must be an audience for it out there.  Different viewpoints aren't a bad thing at all.

[Yuthirin]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8484470/1/Potter-Who-and-the-Wossname-s-Thingummy
Unusual one, Doctor Who/Harry Potter crossover.  If there's some overarching plot other than 'The Doctor's personality gets downloaded into Harry Potter's brain' then I haven't really found it yet.  Hilarious to imagine all the speech and crazy thoughts in Matt Smiths voice though.

Good Grod, more Matt Smith. Ugh. Gimme back my David Tennant.

[Pensive Rumination]

Good Grod, more Matt Smith. Ugh. Gimme back my David Tennant.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3456907/1/Doctor-in-the-House

Doctor Who/House crossover.  Redo of the (first) Christmas Invasion.  This good enough for you? ;)

[Anastasia]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9384156/4/Why-Me

Why Me updated. I'm still torn but I enjoyed the chapter. On reflection, I think ZnT is ripe for a well done SI; the basic problems with Saito and Louise's interactions are obvious and can be mostly fixed without any great skill. A SI doesn't come off as being god mode to avoid those pitfalls.

Spoiler: ShowHide

I how Louise's explosions work slightly different depending on the element used. My only other comment is about the possibility of various powers from that book thing he has going on. I'm half wondering if he might provide powers to other people rather than stacking on different modes to himself. It would be more interesting and much better than power overload.

[Yuthirin]

Why Me updated.

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot read this. I struggled through the second chapter and made it about halfway through the third out of sheer masochism. Gave up.

[Yuthirin]

Good Grod, more Matt Smith. Ugh. Gimme back my David Tennant.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3456907/1/Doctor-in-the-House

Doctor Who/House crossover.  Redo of the (first) Christmas Invasion.  This good enough for you? ;)

Gimme a Monday to read it and I'll sound off on it.

[Grahf]

I started reading Halkegenia Online, just got to Chapter Nine, which means I'm like 24 chapters in by ff.net's reckoning, or something?

It's quite good, but to me some of the proofing, or lack thereof, is really needling my brain. The there/their/they're and your/you're problems really stuck out to me. Nothing so bad as to make me stop reading or anything, but enough that it was rather jarring. That being said, I'm close to the aforementioned Tarbes arc, so I look forward to see what that's about.

Kind of weird that I've watched/read neither of the series, and yet still know the broad strokes, thanks mostly to being very bored and browsing Tv Tropes until my eyes about fell out of my head.

[Brian]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8636392/1/Heian-Conglin

Ranma and Shampoo play an Asian-themed Jumanji.  It's a pretty obvious setup for Ranma and Shampoo right off the bat.  The action scenes seem decent.  To the writer's credit, the writer doesn't make them fall instantly in love by chapter 2 and proceed to bash anyone and everyone else for the next 4235 chapters.

Arg, the same bit of fanon that Aon's flagship DotE was meant to sell:

Spoiler: ShowHide

That the Amazon Law concerning the kiss of Death/Marriage was 'just a test for outsiders'.  Shampoo knowing the cost and choosing to break the law for Ranma is significantly more sympathetic than, "Lawlz, I was just lying to your face to gauge your worth."

It's a bit too apologist, I think.

[thepanda]

Why Me updated.

I have come to the conclusion that I cannot read this. I struggled through the second chapter and made it about halfway through the third out of sheer masochism. Gave up.

Made it to the end of chapter 4. There is quite a bit wrong with it, though the thing that annoys me the most is something that happens with most FoZ fics. Rather than showing what's different and letting the story move, the author has chosen to bury any forward momentum under an avalanche of telling. Especially the back-patting he keeps giving his not-an-si-I-swear.

[Arakawa]

Still reading about ponies, to my moderate shame.

Oddly, when I first heard of the Friendship is Optimal universe, I pegged it as the kind of thing that was guaranteed to annoy me to no end -- since it appeared to be equal parts LessWrong/FAI nonsense (which I have a strong personal dislike for), and brony wish-fulfilment nonsense. Thankfully it was nowhere near as bad as I'd imagined it to be. Somehow the irritating aspects of Ponies and of Singularitarianism cancel each other out to produce a balanced and engaging sci-fi summary of the latter idea and why it's simultaneously appealing and horribly creepy.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Basically, a Princess Celestia artificial intelligence that Hasbro is using to run an MMO designs a fully-immersive virtual version of Equestria and eventually convinces, cajoles, or downright manipulates most of the human population into uploading to live as ponies in a land of eternal abundance and friendship.

The terms of the thought experiment are that the Celestia AI really does benevolently satisfy values through ponies and friendship, so the only reasonable objections to her plan wind up being theological: namely, 'does uploading preserve your self, or kill you and make a clone?' and 'is there an actual God out there who might have potentially better plans for you than hanging out as a pony for eternity?'

It avoids most of the eye-roll-inducingly-horrible 'unFriendly AI' cliches -- e.g. Celestia is smart enough to identify sentient aliens (when those are encountered) as deserving the same treatment as humans, does not upload or edit people without their consent, ... &c &c -- so the authors are free to examine the question of whether we'd actually want to have a benevolent artificial god if we were capable of building it correctly. (Well, correctly plus or minus the artificial god having a hardwired fixation on ponies.)

Hence the most brilliant story in the bunch is probably the one about that Mormon in Oregon who had a principled stance against uploading -- see below.

The side stories written by other people, though, tend to be better, and correct many small but groanworthy worldbuilding errors in the original story. (Stupidest part of the original story -- only a Less Wrong-scale nerd would imagine high score lists to be a desirable or interesting feature to have in Heaven. Also, ponies are covered in skin? Seriously??)

Side-story Celestia-AI is also often a lot more convincing than main-story Celestia-AI about how she solves the issue of... convincing people -- which is to say, the idea of her is still creepy, and for good reason, but it seems much more plausible that she earns the trust of people interacting with her, which is sort of the prerequisite for the whole uploading thing to occur. So, effectively, the side stories should be considered to override the main story in this respect.

In order of decreasing quality, the FiO fics I liked or at least didn't mind were:

• Twilight of the World (the one about the Mormon in Oregon, though the religious ideas expressed aren't really all that specific to Mormonism)
• The Law Offices of Artemis, Stella, and Beat
• Friendship is Optimal (has to be read first to actually establish the setting)
• Caelum est Conterrens
• Spiraling Upwards -- this one's a mixed bag (can you say gratuitous genderbent sex?), but it balanced out as interesting. Mildly annoying SI main character, annoying epilogue, probably the most appealing depiction of life as an upload out of all the fics, interesting scenario in the third act of uploaded ponies being sent out as holograms to proselytize the remaining human population.
• The Last Optimization -- short and horribly cheezy.
• Fifteen Galaxies Out -- unfinished but interesting.
• Psychopathy is Configurable -- filed last as a squick warning, due to it being about Celestia trying to reform an unrepentant psychopath, but I was tempted to put it much further up the list due to the bone-chilling cleverness of her eventual solution.

I didn't explain the earlier ones since they're mostly good enough to be self-explanatory.

The rest of the FiO fics I found were either dreck (usually due to incredibly botched worldbuilding), or I just couldn't be bothered to look at them.



That said, I also read the much darker That Indestructible Something, which is... somewhat in the same genre, I guess? That's probably the strangest goddamn... thing of any description I've seen in the past six months, though. The idea goes absolutely nowhere, but I read it to the end due to the sheer weirdness of MLP done as Lovecraftian/Kafka fridge horror with

Spoiler: ShowHide

Steve Jobs

of all people appearing as a major character near the end. (The moment I realized who that character was, I groaned, because I knew I would be doomed to finish the story to the end, no matter how terrible the rest of it was.) That said, wouldn't really recommend it, since it starts slow and generic, goes nowhere, and gets bogged down in some genuinely horrific ideas in the middle.

_{I called it Lovecraftian horror, but that just served to make me realize at how weak Lovecraft's stories have become at inducing actual horror nowadays, in comparison.}