What are you reading?

[Anastasia]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9776943/5/A-Pig-at-the-Left-Hand-of-God

This story updated. [spoiler]I'm not so fond of the Breaking Point failing against the golem. It's defensible to have it work out that way and arguably a good call so that things don't turn wanky. On the other hand, I do feel it's a situation Ryouga has a natural counter for and should be able to enjoy that. Y'know, in the vein of that one fic where Ryouga beats the DBZ androids because he has the perfect technique in the perfect situation? That.

[Jason_Miao]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9891998/1/Highschool-SAO

GB's SAO/DxD xover.


Lots of exposition.

[Ebiris]

Not Quite a Maia

When the Fellowship loses Gandalf they need a new wizard, and so Neville Longbottom and Molly Weasley, fresh from Voldemort's defeat, are called to help Middle Earth.

Yeah, I've seen this one floating about but it seems like such a silly crackfic going by the description. But one bored day I started reading it, only to find it's actually really good! Both sources are treated with respect and affection, and really Neville and Molly just fit right into the Fellowship so well that even with their out of setting magic it just seems natural. That's not to say it's not funny though, as there are plenty of laughs to be found, particularly when it comes to chapters featuring Augusta Longbottom's travels through Middle Earth in search of her wayward grandson, which she believes to be Australia.

[Jason_Miao]

Read this fic:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4119917/8/Hakumei

It's actually semi-okay.  I will point out that I'm linking chapter eight instead of chapter one because the fic works better that way.  The premise is crazy, and the justification for it does more harm to the story than good ... so just jump into part two, which is post-prologue.

You miss very little, and it's worth what you do miss. :|

I've read that one.  The writer barely posts anymore, so I suspect that this is all there will ever be of the fic.

I'm in complete agreement about skipping the first part (although I'd probably suggest reading the very first chapter just for the necessary background info).

Apparently, I was wrong.  It is also "complete", but per endnotes, this translates to "See you in the sequel, which I haven't fully outlined yet, due to various other projects."  Which usually means that the fic won't be written at all, but I said that about the last chapter too.

On a different note, Mother of Learning is set to update on the 22nd.   I think this is the only semi-regularly updated fic I'm currently following that I look forward to without reservation, so good news on my end.

-

On a third note, if others are still following it, In Flight updated.  There's a small mention about how the notes were deleted, so he had to rewrite them.  I'm sure many people would have otherwise grieved if this chapter did not have the usual frontloaded notes with spoilers.

[Anastasia]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9373272/1/The-Avatar-of-Light

It's been dead lately, so I checked out a random fuku fic. It's okay and has some amusing writing. It has some flaws - if nothing else I imagine Ranma would have tried his own techniques first rather than the magical girl ones - but it was a decent enough read.

[JonBob]

In Flight updated. I'm sure you all were eagerly awaiting this.

Lots of fighting and a big final confrontation.

Spoiler: ShowHide

So, surprised that the source of the Sekirei crest was Minaka's crest, disappointed at how Minaka went down, and a lot of magic displayed in public is waved off as "alien powers". Oh, yeah, the "I am your father" thing, it was kind of cliche, but it wasn't dwelt on a lot, which is a good thing.

[Jason_Miao]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9373272/1/The-Avatar-of-Light

It's been dead lately, so I checked out a random fuku fic. It's okay and has some amusing writing. It has some flaws - if nothing else I imagine Ranma would have tried his own techniques first rather than the magical girl ones - but it was a decent enough read.

Nice find.  I was amused.

[Jason_Miao]

In Flight epilogue was posted.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Given how the last chapter finished, I would have preferred a proper ending, rather than the retrospective POV.

[Anastasia]

Re: In Flight

[spoiler]I don't think GB had a play that could make a majority happy. At least the story's done.

I like the idea of Minaka and the Sekirei leading to A-Rays. That's some neat worldbuilding right there, y'know? It's too bad the story got away from him and ballooned.

[Anastasia]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7657235/27/Path-of-the-King

Path of the King updated. Awesome chapter. [spoiler]

- I like how the snake style+married blades=Archer's style. It's a lot of fun to see Shirou coming into his own.
- Yeah, Shirou can pull out all the stops. He's still out of his league against Ciel. He ultimately survives the battle thanks to his convictions, not his martial prowess.
- Everything else was a nice winddown to the Ciel fight. So Satsuki might get a decent ending this time around. I'm okay with that. I also like how what Shirou's doing isn't infringing on Shiki's canon adventures. He's still on the Near Side route and doing his KILL KILL KILL thing.

[Dracos]

In Flight epilogue was posted.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Given how the last chapter finished, I would have preferred a proper ending, rather than the retrospective POV.

[spoiler]
Gabe rarely does proper endings, especially on longer stories.  He tends to follow a "All the conflict got resolved here so now Giant Timeskip to epilogue" that tends to be rather unsatisifying for those who wanted to see a proper falling action and denouement.

Good on him to finish but my thoughts now that it's over?

Whiny guy and Sister Conflict didn't add much or get resolved well.  The whiny guy felt pointless in the end, and I think he was just there because original story had him.  I'm not sure at all why he was with the sister at the end rather than already dead or desperately on his own.  The sister basically sort of ...vanishes from her own existing life?  My, she certainly doesn't have much of a life then...I mean, college, her own friends or dreams or whatnot?  Poof, My brother killed my dad and so I'm leaving japan.  Just like that.  And screw going to college now, I'm going to be a hero of justice traveling the world or some shit.  And also neither Takaima or Shiro can find her?  with THEIR resources and her personality and lack of experience with discretion?  Also with a tracking chip in her sekerei?  How stupid.  I think it was a real waste not to have that come to head at all during the story so it could get resolved and kind of treats her as totally disconnected from having a life.

Mr. Final Boss not explaining his goals when trying to recruit Shiro just seems strange and unnecessary in light of what they were.  Sure, he might not have given detail, but not even a token attempt to say "From my view I'm trying to save humanity, I don't really want to go to Akasha."  Just gets in the way of the final chapter.

Much like almost any tactics would too.  Not bringing Miya was weird and seems unnecessary.  More relevantly, not disarming the tracking chips in his own Sekerei (Really, bringing it back with hacker girl just getting it as a power up?), not doing any up front communication or counter information so that there isn't a horde of people (He does have both Miya and Superhacker) just getting in the way?

Rin and Saber, both their strange characterizations and extremely awkward presence in the fic, don't feel like they practically add anything aside from basically, requiring blindness from Shirou so he doesn't sniff out the final boss at all.  The way the epilogue was handled, those two chapters (The worst in the fic) could've just not happened and it wouldn't make any difference.  Have Rin fail or still be fighting and it happens off camera.  Whatever, I can't see how he did handle it being satisfying for anyone.  Frankly, the way they were included and handled soured me a lot on the fic, enough that I only barely ended up finishing it.

Heck, without them it could've easily gone:
Amazing chapter rescuing his little sister.
Recruitment attempt by his mom.
Phone call from Minaka wanting to talk it out as mages, since he knows enough not to be fooled or at least suspect.  Goes poorly anyway even with more information since Shirou is super nontrusting.
Same callout goes out, but hey, superhacker, distracts a lot of people.

Who does end up there?  Well, sister team would definitely come, distraction or no, because she has the whole Your Father thing going for her.  So would the guard team and Uzume.  And I can't really see the other big leader kiddo getting distracted.

In other words, the actual characters could all still show up for that chapter anyway, without making it look like he's not even trying to counter things.

This would've ended things about 4 chapters (and prolly 6-8 months) sooner, keeping things in the context of Sekerei without the awkwardness brought by the deeper Fate/Stay Night interactions.  These easily could've been waved off as Not What the Story Was About.

Also, a lot of exposition on trivial bits of fate/stay night over the course of it that basically assume that the readers don't have familiarity with it.  Though pulling out new super-runes for the second to last chapter despite him not studying them seemed weird (Why not have the body captured or the clothes taken or whatnot).  I don't think that actually helped and is probably a bad habit since it dries out a lot of things.

There were many parts of the fic I liked.  A lot of the characters were good, a lot of the small scenes were fun, and having such a crazy protagonist was entertaining.  In the beginning I was really following it aggressively and had a lot of fun with the reading.  Many of the individual handlings were really cool and several of the character interactions were fun.  I don't think Gabe treats his characters like people though, especially Magi come across not as scientists studying unearthly mysteries.  Folks are objectives and hard-line viewpoints rather than people.

I think the way the family angle got handled was a huge waste.  Shirou's sister was the only one even trying to reach out, and she was half assing it since she didn't try and bring anyone together with Shirou.  Sure, it sets up the final revelation, but it basically goes from them trying very hard over circumstances and concerns in the first 1/4th of the fic to irrelevant unconnected elements for the remaining 3/4ths of it.

Fic that started better than it finished, I think.  It did save Uzume though, which was neat :)

[Jason_Miao]

https://www.fictionpress.com/s/2961893/21/Mother-of-Learning updated.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Gabe rarely does proper endings, especially on longer stories.  He tends to follow a "All the conflict got resolved here so now Giant Timeskip to epilogue" that tends to be rather unsatisifying for those who wanted to see a proper falling action and denouement.

Spoiler: ShowHide

He does tend to timeskip quite a bit, doesn't he?  Still, it's not necessarily a time-skip per se that I am annoyed with, even if it is sometimes annoying in its own right.  Maybe a more accurate way of stating my problem is that I want a climactic ending to stories (incidentally, given the way TV series are written these days, this means that I doubt I'll start watching TV any time soon).  Finding Home climaxed where the SM manga did, and the last chapter was the wrap up.  Finishing What You Start had a long timeskip, but since that the fic was character-driven, the meeting itself was the climax.  Those Who Love Monsters was a horror fic, and the climax occurred when the protagonist throws away his humanity as he was destined to.

IF doesn't feel like it had a climax.  I'm guessing that the battle with Minaka was supposed to be that, but given that he'd just decided to go do that in the last few chapters, it didn't work out that way.  The Last Fuck You from Minaka could have been that, and the chapter before the last had the setup for that, so the epilogue was a fairly unpleasant surprise.

Good on him to finish but my thoughts now that it's over?

I was going to wait until some people had a chance to read the fic and comment on it, but I think you said everything I was thinking, and more besides.

So I'll just incorporate everything you just wrote by reference, and add that from the perspective of someone reading this fic who had no FSN knowledge (1) his assumption that the reader didn't know anything worked in my favor (2) I also thought those two chapters were the worst chapters.

[Yuthirin]

I've come to dislike the feeling of realizing that I'm a terrible writer, but I could still write better than a lot of authors.

[Brian]

Well, it's not that hard ... which makes it kind of surprising how many bad writers there are.

[alethiophile]

So this thing updated. It's a crossover between Twilight and [PROTOTYPE], of all the unlikely things, and elides none of the, erm, "characteristic" feel of the latter. Fairly decent, if you have high tolerance for gore and mild sociopathy.