[R.5]Cats

[Jason_Miao]

Drac: As requested, I'm also posting this fic here.  Hope it meets with your approval.

Many thanks to Edward, Nemesis_Zero, Aondehafka, DB, and Jeram (apoligies to the last two for not responding to your comments; I've only seen them very recently since I've been rather busy this summer).  Your comments on the Refuge have made this fic immesurably easier on the eyes.

Disclaimer:  The characters and source material used in this fanfic were created by Takahashi Rumiko.  



From a tape recording, found at the scene of Tabitha Mao's disappearance.

Voice #1:  Who the hell are you?

[Silence]

Voice #1:  No, my name isn't Tendo Nabiki, Tempo Nakiki, or whoever you're trying to look for, and I don't know anything about a Ranma.  Now get out of here, before I call the police.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  Jonathan Pike sent you?  I see.  What a terrible way to go.  I'd read that someone found what was left of his body last week.  He was the only person who ever knew my whole story..."

[a choked sob.  Two minutes pass]

Voice #1:  I'm sorry.  I didn't dare go to his funeral, and it's been eating away at me.  To think that I may have indrectly been the cause of his death.  I had warned him not to pry too far into this affair, as even the little I knew could be deadly.  But he told me that his journalistic pride wouldn't let him keep from seeking the truth, so I told him what I knew in hopes that he be satisfied, and stay alive.  Poor guy.  Well, if he trusted you enough to send you to me, I suppose it's safe to tell you my experience with the book, though I suspect it won't help you very much.  Please, come in.

[Sounds of a door closing]

Voice #1:  Would you like some coffee?

[Silence]

Voice #1: I also like mine with cream.  

   As you correctly surmised, my name is Tendo Nabiki.  Twenty years ago, I did not live in this run down apartment, but was a high school student in Japan.  I'd grown up in the small suburb of Nerima all my life, and had a reputation as a straight-forward financially-minded person, destined for greatness in the business world.  Despite my pretensions to the contrary, I had no notion of what was truly happening in the background, and believed that the general hectic tempo of the community was the natural pace of life itself.
   My family was taking care of three guests that day.  One of those guests, Saotome Ranma, was supposedly my junior by a year, and was engaged to marry my little sister, Akane.  Although she often denied any feelings for him, it was obvious to most people that she was deeply in love with him.  And my family had all believed that Ranma loved her too.
   Another was Ranma's gluttonous father, Saotome Genma.  Although a knowledgeable martial artist, and more powerful than most, he was considered something of a joke amongst the elite martial artists that roamed Nerima.
    The last guest was Hibiki Ryouga, a boy with a serious grudge against Ranma.  He had fought Ranma earlier that day, and as normal, Ranma had injured him to some extent, yet not critically so.  I had known even then that Ranma enjoyed playing with his opponents before defeating them, but I had not believed anything to be inherently wrong with that.

   On that fateful day, twenty years ago, I discreetly followed Saotome Ranma's circuitous route though a run down section of town.  I am sure that Ranma had no knowledge of my pursuit.  Almost all men have little mannerisms that they know nothing about, yet are apparent to the observant viewer.  Tapping their fingers when self-confident, tightening their hands when upset, and so forth.  Strangely enough, Ranma had only one.  When he suspected something was amiss, his ears would lightly flicker for less than an eye-blink's time.  For over a year, I had been attempting to find where Ranma's secret journey brought him, but each time I noticed that flicker, I broke off pursuit.  On that last day, I was finally able to tell that his destination was the Nekohauten, the restaurant and residence of another girl in his life, a Chinese warrior princess called Shampoo.
   Oh, I was so pleased at the prospect of the information I could find there!  Ranma had my younger sister Akane as his fiancee, yet was a popular man with many women, and usually had two or three other girls chasing after him.  Many people had wondered how he could resist the attention they thrust at him, and I then believed that I had discovered the answer.  I intended to record this meeting on my video camera, in order to fully exploit this opportunity to help drive away my sister's more persistent competitors.
   When I arrived five minutes after my quarry had entered, I pulled myself up the Nekohauten's fire escape with the ease of a habit, and began to record the proceedings within the restaurant through a small grimy window.  Through my past experience at recording hidden liaisons and other such secrets in the Nekohauten, I knew that I could not hear any sound from my position, and for this I was thankful.  It would be far too easy to inadvertently make a small noise and thus give notice of my presence to any highly trained martial artists such as Ranma or the occupants of the Nekohauten, and so the soundproofing was a welcome feature.  Thankfully, I'd previously planted hidden miniature microphones throughout many locations in Nerima in anticipation of such an event, and the Nekohauten was one of them.  I could always go back later, when the restaurant was open, and discreetly collect them.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  Have I bugged this room now?  Don't be silly.  I don't do that kind of thing anymore.

   Initially, the lack of noise did not seem to matter.  Ranma was sitting at one booth staring at the door to the kitchen, with a small cage of four mice.  If either the proprietor of the restaurant, Cologne; or her great-granddaughter and waitress, Shampoo were in the room, they were out of my limited viewing range.  My patience began to wear thin, as I shivered on the fire escape ledge, yet I'd learned in the past that patience often brought rewards.  And after what seemed like half an hour, I was indeed rewarded, for Shampoo stepped out from behind a closed door.
   She was stark naked, and crawled on all fours.  An odd position, and one not natural for humans, but she somehow managed to carry herself in a fashion that implied even greater arrogance and pride than she typically displayed.  Ranma had also begun to crouch, and I recognized that both of them had begun to perform some of the simpler stances of the Nekoken.  I was not overly surprised at Ranma's behavior at the time, becase I had seen it before, and thought I knew the reason for it.  Genma had told my family how he had foolishly trained his son in the legendary Art of the Nekoken.  We were told that the technique drives its practitioners to madness, so that they believe they are a cat.  I had yet to discover that this was all a lie.
   Still, such an event was bizarre even by Neriman standards.  To my knowledge at the time, Shampoo had never learned the Nekoken, and further more, Ranma shouldn't have had his Nekoken state triggered because Shampoo was still human.  

[Silence]

Voice #1:  Hmm?  Yes, that's right.  Shampoo could also change her form.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  No, I'm not surprised that you believe me.  Pike wouldn't have sent you to me, unless you were familiar with this sort of business.  What I am is annoyed with you.  If you have something to say, shut up and wait until I've completed the story.

[Slight but sharp bang.  Probably a fist hitting the coffee table.]

   Now, where was I?  Oh yes, Shampoo's entrance.  Ranma was acting strangely (not that anything he did was ever normal, including simple things like eating and entering houses through their windows.)  When he opened the cage and reached into it, rather than pick up a mouse as a human would, he batted it until it sailed through the air.  Shampoo lazily waved her pa--hand and suddenly, the mouse turned into Ryouga.
   Ryouga was no slouch.  As soon as he transformed, he quickly charged towards Shampoo, who was standing between him and the exit.  With the Shampoo that I knew, he should have been able to flatten her.  Remember how I mentioned that Saotome Genma was better than most fighters?  Although they never fought each other, I'd guess that Ryouga was much better.  
   Yet a quick swatting motion from Shampoo turned most of his left arm into a fine mist, and sent him reeling back.  During this time, Ranma leapt upwards, and slammed into Ryouga's head from above, sprawling the poor boy onto his back.  Although my view of the scene came with no sound, the sheer agony on his face as he screamed was horrifying enough that I imagined that I could hear him.
   Most people would probably have watched, like rubberneckers do when they see car wrecks on the side of the road, until they crash their own cars.  I always had enough presence of mind to prevent myself from doing that, and rather than wait around and see Ryouga's eventual demise, I decided to investigate to see what was going on.  I realized that it was no use going back home to see my family.  If I tried to tell Akane, she'd probably rush out once I'd mentioned that Ranma was with Shampoo, and get herself killed.  And the other martial artists around here wouldn't be of much more help.  With the possible exception of Happosai or Cologne, they would be only so many more casualties against such a pair of such unstoppable forces.  Happosai hadn't been seen in weeks, and if Cologne was anywhere close to the restaurant, she would surely have investigated the scene and dealt with it somehow.
   Thus, I decided to forgo direct means, and sought to investigate the situation instead.  I thought that if I could discover what caused them to behave so strangely, I might find how to put an end to it.  With that hopeful ambition, I quietly entered the restaurant through the service entrance in the back.
   It's funny.  When people talk about others as cold and calculating, they usually focus on the cold.  But they never really think about the calculating part.  A person can either be an emotional wasteland inside, or a passionate person, but if they can't weigh the risks they're taking, they're bound to fail by wasting their efforts.  When I entered the building, I knew that I ran a grave risk of becoming the next victim.  But I knew where they were, and that the other occupants of the restaurant, Cologne and their other waiter Mousse were either gone, or were compromised.  Also, if I delayed, the two would have time to find other prey.  For all I knew, I would be next, and the only person in Nerima who even realized that there was danger would be eliminated.  It was far less of a risk to act now, than to put it off until later.  So ignoring the butterflies in my stomach and Ryouga's now audible shrieks of agony as best as I could, I made my way through the building.

   Mousse's room had recently been drenched in blood.  I quickly turned away, but not before noticing a duck carcass on the ground.  In stark contrast, Shampoo's room was neat and orderly, and I almost proceeded to Cologne's room, when I noticed the leathery book lying open on her dresser.  Although it was not the only book in the room, it seemed to exude a chill aura.
   I really should have immediately gone to Cologne's room, since it was commonly known that her room a repository for most of the Chinese magical artifacts in the town, but I decided to first take a peek at the book.  And that, sir, was the beginning of the end.
   The page described a magical formula through which one could infuse some of their life into a recently deceased corpse, and revitalize it.  The cost was great on the user, for any power spent would be unavailable while the corpse walked.  But the corpse could act autonomously, even if in truth it had no volition except that granted by its master, and used either as an expendable soldier or as a distraction.
   Interesting, if disgusting.  Though I suspected what I would find in the third room, I decided to proceed anyway.

   And my suspicions were well founded.  Ranma's comments of "Old Ghoul" had not been insults, but a literal truth used to mock the rest of us in our ignorance.  "Cologne" was in a closet standing upright yet unresponsive, obviously propped against a wall.  Evidently, she was one of the revitalized dead, used in Shampoo's elaborate scheme of deception, but recently drained of the infused life-force.  And that meant that the restaurant had no potential allies for me, but was now a deathtrap.  The longer I stayed, the more likely I was to be discovered.  Ryouga gave one final shriek, which trailed off into a death gurgle, and I soon heard the sound of tearing flesh and smacking lips.  Realizing that my time was up, I fled outside, picked up my recording camera, and quickly stole away.

   I hadn't remembered taking the book with me, and had not realized it was inside my purse until I was far from the restaurant.  I thought it was a fatal error on my part, and cursed myself soundly.  Once the two cat-martial artists were done eating Ryouga, they might discover their missing book, and would be on the hunt.  With that fear in my heart, I quickly ran home, thinking to warn my family of the danger they entertained by hosting the Saotomes.  I planned how to break it to them on the way back.  I would get them on one of the trains out of Tokyo first, on the pretext that Ranma had run away to commit suicide, after Genma had pushed him too far.  That would take care of that old and useless father, if he tried to interfere.  On the train, I'd tell them the real story.  While they would naturally disbelieve me at first, the unholy aura from the book would dispel any doubts.

    When I arrived at the house, everything was quiet.  Too quiet.  "Dad!  Kasumi!  Akane!"  I called to each of them, yet heard no response.  Racing through the home I had grown up in, I almost tripped over a fat and bald man lying in the middle of the doorway between the living room and the kitchen.  It was Genma, clearly dead.
   With a sudden chill in my heart, I remembered that the cage of little mice had four prisoners in total.  One of them had been Ryouga, whom the two...played with before they ate.  And that left three more mice...

   I was sick to my stomach, but I knew in the time that it took me to run back, two of my family could already have been killed.  And by the time I managed to round up any help, the last of them would already be dead.  Furthermore, who could I trust?  And I didn't know the answer to the most important question of all: why?  Why had they stalked and infiltrated my family with such an elaborate ruse?
   With tears in my eyes, I fled the house, and Nerima.  I realized that Ranma and Shampoo probably knew I would want to take the trains, so I avoided them.  The decision saved my life, for the next day, I learned that there had been a series of terrible accidents and that all trains outbound from Nerima had been savaged.

   Instead, I walked to the closest airport, and took an airplane out of the country.  I hated every step, knowing that I had the money to afford a cab, but Ranma and Shampoo might have anticipated that.  They would never have expected me, who never did any work if it could be helped, to actually walk.  But I did.
   Once I arrived at the airport, I had a passport with an assumed name, and using it, I fled the country.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  No, I don't have any Yakuza connections or anything like that.  Actually, I made the passport because I was bored, and I always see them make such a big deal out of making false passports in the movies.  So I wanted to see if it was really as hard as they say.  Actually, once you know the right people, it's pretty easy to do.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  I could go into details, but you're not here for that, are you?

   Anyway, since that time, I've been living here.  I have this small chain of Mom and Pop stores that I own under an assumed name, which gives me enough to live off of without having to expose my presence.  While I could have always entered into and triumphed in the business world, or at least have made a killing on the options market, I found that would have been a deadly mistake.

   You see, I've read more of that accursed book since that day, and that's why I still live in fear, even if the events I've described to you are twenty years old and half a globe away.  Ranma and Shampoo act for greater feline powers, ones that could conquer the world in an instant if they so chose.  But they, like all their lesser servants and progeny, enjoy toying with their prey before making the kill.  And so, rather than a direct confrontation, they seek to herd us, put us off balance, and make us confused.  They've replaced the top business men and women in positions of political and economic power.  You have heard of ambitious CEOs referred to as predators, I'm sure.  That metaphor is more accurate than its speakers know.

   And I dare not leave this small, backwoods town, for I am sure that the two still hunt for me.  They could strike me before I could ever recognize them, for their Jusenko curses were a ruse; they could actually change shape at will.  Had they the chance, they would, for I know their secrets.  I know the names of their Gods, such as the awful Cathulhu, and the dread Nyaolathotep; and I know how to summon eldritch powers and the demonic events of history that resulted from others doing so.

   That's really what they want.  "Reality" is merely a mass perception, and they seek to change that perception to their own, and thus conquer this reality through the force of mind.  They don't have the numbers to do it yet, and must create more of their kind from humans.  Not all humans are suitable, for they do not have the same capability to perceive the world that the monsters do.

   And that brings us to you.  Pike must have found that you can see the things that I do, and of your desire to see the book that I had mistakenly taken when I fled my hometown those decades ago.  While an inquisitive mind is admirable, for your own sake, I must caution you to turn your back on this line of inquiry.  I haven't read from the book in years, and wouldn't even look at it, if I had the choice, but it doesn't matter.  It's posession is causing me to change.  Sunbeams shining through windows cause great feelings of lethargy in me.  I have to force myself to take baths in order to clean myself, rather than use my tongue. And worst of all, the common chatter of people on a bus or in a crowded area has begun to sound like so much squeaking to me.  I've recently begun to wonder how it would be to sink my teeth through someone's spine, and eat their stomach while they were still alive.

   If you value your sanity, sir, turn away from this path.  Do not let yourself gaze upon the Nekonomico--SHAMPOO!!!  How?!  A transformation?!

[Silence]

Voice #1:  How did you gain Pike's trust?  I...I knew him.  He wouldn't have confided in anyone he didn't already know.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  RANMA?!  All along?  God.  He ... I.  You mean that we ...  Oh God.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  All those years ago, how did you both avoid being shown on my video camera?  The video I recorded shows nothing of you or Ranma.  Only Ryouga thrashing around in some seizure.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  More "real" than us?  Then it's already too late, isn't it?  You're already in the end stages, and now you are just waiting for the proper stars and planets to align.  The counter-rites, the friends I've made and lost when we raided the Last Library ... everything I've done to resist you has been for nothing.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  So what now?  You're going to kill me, right?  Even if I don't have a chance to win, I'll still fight you.

[Silence]

Voice #1:  WHAT?  NO!  Not that!  Please, just kill me instead.  Please let me die human.  I'm a human, damn you!  We may be just mice to you damn monsters, but we're still people!  Damn you!  Damn you!  DaIA!  IA!  MIA!  MIA!  MIYAOOOOOOOOW!



Notes:
I'm sure that you all have those fics which you work on intermittently every so often, and delete half of what you had written when you open it again next month.  Well, here's one of mine.  I had this idea sometime around 5 years ago, and continually picked at it, then tore it apart.  It's rather interested to see the stilted sentence structure that I was using back then, and how it's developed.  Although I've gone through and changed most them to sound more euphonious, bits and pieces of it may still be found.

If you are at all interested in how this fic evolved, and you have a Refuge Account, the details are in the Notes section.  I didn't include it because I can't imagine that most people would be interested.

Finally, to anticipate a few comments:
* What happened to Ukyou?
+   She is Not Appearing In This Fic, mainly because I could think of a way to write her in without ruining the pacing or the basic assumptions.  Unfortunately, she's just not catty enough.  Suggestions on how to remedy this are welcomed.

* This is in script!  Script sucks!
+   Please read the fic again.  Then let me know how to evoke the same mood, without the silent pauses.  Furthermore, for this particular viewpoint, I think this is the optimal format.  Still, I am always open to suggestions of a better format; in fact, the "experiment" in this fic was to convey as much information as possible using only dialogue.  I'm fairly pleased with the results, given how much grief went into writing it.

* Wasn't the last time you posted a fic sometime last century?  Aren't you just some old-time hack writer past his prime?
+   Good question.  Next question.

* Can I nominate you for the next Oscir award?
+   This interview is over.
   [Silence]

[Dracos]

Let's see.

Voice #1: I'm sorry. I didn't dare go to his funeral, and it's been eating away at me. To think that I may have indrectly been

indirectly.  Might want to run it through a spellchecker, especially with how short it is. =)

Overall, I liked it.  Short, good horror vibe, clever and amusing use of material already present in the story taken up a notch and twisted horrifically.

It was a cunning crossover. =)

Dracos

[Jason_Miao]

Yay.  Someone read it.  Even if it is in script format.  ^_^

indirectly. Might want to run it through a spellchecker, especially with how short it is. =)

Bleh.  I was sure that I had corrected that, before I posted the fic. -_-

Overall, I liked it. Short, good horror vibe, clever and amusing use of material already present in the story taken up a notch and twisted horrifically.

Thanks!

[Olvelsper]

Fun stuff. The length worked towards the fic's advantage and just enough was said and shown to fit a Cthulhu-esque horror fic.

Pacing was perfect throughout, and the script style made it feel much more personal for some odd reason.

[Jason_Miao]

Olguin:

That's precisely the effect I was hoping for.  Wheee!

*Goes nuts in celebration*

[Dracos]

Nostalgic Miao.

[Arakawa]

Basement Cat approves of this fic. Tells of silly, narmy horror concept with a straight face. Cats replacing CEOs reminds me of lizard people, except with cats.

Hmm, isn't it 'Nekohanten', though? Or was that a stylistic choice?

Meta idea: regular Ranma continuity, characters challenge each other to reading the scariest campfire horror story. Ranma acts arrogant, says no spooky ghost stories can scare him. Nabiki traumatizes him with this fic.

There was one moment that broke the mostly-straightfaced sense of horror a bit for me, when it's said that the outgoing trains from Nerima were "savaged". To me, rather than horrific scenes of bloody carnage, that conjured the image of a giant cat batting trains around which, well... *snicker*

[Arakawa]

Related:

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/05/cats-rival-dogs-many-tests-social-smarts-anyone-brave-enough-study-them

A few years back, Pongrácz brought a cat into his lab for a study. "In less than a minute, it escaped and got into an air duct," he says. "We were terrified. We had to wait an hour for it to come out."

Things didn't go much better with his gaze experiments. Pongrácz's team did the work in cats' homes, thinking they would be better behaved there, but some felines either didn't cooperate or dived under the sofa. Other cats—frustrated by being held when they knew the researchers had treats—scratched and wriggled their way out of their owners' arms. "It's like suddenly the cat has 10 legs," Pongrácz says.

The team started with 99 cats but got usable data on only 41. In other labs, cats have leapt out of mazes topped with nets designed to keep them inside, leaving the whole setup in disarray. And some researchers have had to deprive cats of food for up to 8 hours just to motivate them to crave a treat. "If you want results on one cat," Miklósi says, "you have to test three."

Those stats concern Alex Taylor, a comparative psychologist at the University of Auckland in New Zealand who has studied cognition in crows, dogs, and other animals. "There's a lot of solid science going on in these cat studies, but it's taking a lot of resources to produce the data," he says. "It would give me pause about working with cats."

Research money is also scarce. Pongrácz funded the gaze study out of his own pocket. And Atsuko Saito, a psychologist at Sophia University in Tokyo who just last month showed that cats seem to know their names even when a stranger says them, says she can't get grants either.

They do not wish for us to learn the full extent of their capabilities.

Nya! Nya! Cathulhu fhtagn*!

Spoiler: ShowHide

* 'fhtagn' is the sound made when coughing up a hairball.

[Jason_Miao]

Basement Cat approves of this fic. Tells of silly, narmy horror concept with a straight face. Cats replacing CEOs reminds me of lizard people, except with cats.

Huh.  Lizard people.  I should go look that up, and see what that's about...

Website:
"What do lizard people want?
World domination.

Where do lizard people come from?
Aside from people's paranoia, lizard people are thought to primarily come from the constellation Draco(s)..."


So, Dracos.  World domination.

No, I don't see any patterns.  What are you talking about?

Hmm, isn't it 'Nekohanten', though? Or was that a stylistic choice?

It was me primarily writing a fic in notepad, then Pine (the unix email client) over telnet.

Meta idea: regular Ranma continuity, characters challenge each other to reading the scariest campfire horror story. Ranma acts arrogant, says no spooky ghost stories can scare him. Nabiki traumatizes him with this fic.

...genius.

There was one moment that broke the mostly-straightfaced sense of horror a bit for me, when it's said that the outgoing trains from Nerima were "savaged". To me, rather than horrific scenes of bloody carnage, that conjured the image of a giant cat batting trains around which, well... *snicker*

That was precisely the scene I had in my head when I wrote this.

The germ of the idea came from some off-quip about the "Call of Cathulhu" I made in #fanfic on irc.nabiki.com, back in the day (I don't remember the context at all - Probably in response to something Miwa or Ronny said).

And all of my fanfics were grounded in absurdism.  Even my uncompleted Ranma/Wuxia fusion (although you need to be familiar with wuxia to see some of it)...

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/05/cats-rival-dogs-many-tests-social-smarts-anyone-brave-enough-study-them

...okay, real life wins.  It was already pretty close with https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/12/scienceshot-french-fries-jupiter.