Chobits

[Bean Bandit]

BE WARNED. THIS POST INCLUDES VARIOUS WORDS OF A NAUGHTY NATURE. OR, FOR YOU OF THE GROUP THAT TENDS TO BE REFLEXIVELY IRATE, BUT NOT PARTICULARLY SMART, 'SMUTTY TALK'.

IF THIS IS NOT YOUR THING, FLEE NOW, BEFORE YOU ARE ASSUALTED BY 'IGOR, THE AMOROUS ANTHROMORPHIC TURTLE'

Chobits[/i]
(Or: Why it is no longer safe to leave your man alone with kitchen appliances, ladies.)

It has been noted by the Bureau of Finding Out Things That Will MakeYou Want To Take Your own Life, that in the papers of late, that scientists are making rapid strides toward allowing women to get pregnant by members of their own gender. This depressed us, as women hardly need MORE excuses to keep us from getting into their pants.

It was our feeling that science has entirely too much time on it's hands, when we read this. "Why waste time trying to cure diseases, or advance the betterment of mankind, when we can come up with better reasons to get women to have sex with each other?" A prominent scientist was quoted as saying, at a recent news interview. He then belched, and a bottle of Wild Turkey fell out of his lab coat.

At any rate, the male gender tends to take a PR beating, and this may have led to it's recent downswing in popularity. One of the main reasons is that men tend to be somewhat sexually indiscriminate, willing to stick their genitals into any woman they find reasonably attractive, regardless of age, height, weight, B.O fumes, and so on. With the addition of alcohol, this becomes even worse, as making a pass at reasonably well groomed livestock is not out of the question. ("Bartender! Bring this little lady some hay!")

And, thanks to the lovely ladies from the manga publishing company of CLAMP, an exciting new frontier of indiscriminate sexual contact seems looming on the horizon.

Personal Computers!

That's right! Unlike the limited technology of today, where having wild monkey sex with your computer means, at minimum, a sticky keyboard, or in more extreme cases, (If you are a male man of the masculine gender, you may wish to cover yourself and wince here) disk drive related injuries to 'Herman the Love Pickle' . But never fear! For, according to the history related in Chobits, Personal Computers (PersoComs) of the future will take the form of lovely, nubile young women.

However, being a stickler for fairness, (It's true. I have a stickle the size of a fire hydrant) I watched it. This turned out to be a mistake, but why should I be the only one who suffers? Chobits is the story of one young man, a student studying to enter university in Tokyo.Being, as all men are, of rather large libido (All men are like this. Right? RIGHT? >_>), Hideki is a likable, but somewhat dim chap as he arrives in the city. Imagine his shock to discover you can OWN a hideously realistic woman (Inexplicably adorned with what look like mouse ears) to be your new computer. Disheartened to discover they are prohibitively priced, Hideki goes about his business, until one night, he finds a persocom trussed up like a mummy, and tossed in the trash.

Upon excercising his rights of salvage, Hideki activates her to find that she's missing something rather important. Specifically, a brain. Apparently, CLAMP supposes that men's ideal woman lacks one, or it;s just too cute to have her running around saying 'Chii' all the time. Either works. ANYWAY. The story progresses, with Hideki and Chii (It's not only all she can say at the outset, but what he names her. Creativity appears not to be his strong suit.) getting to know one another. He arranges for clothes, a welcome change, though slightly odd that his landlady is so willing to provide. (It is also worth noting that the activation switch is between her legs, IIRC. Way to be subtle, there.) What follows is apparently a morality tale on the dangers of falling in love, with a fanservicey 'Pinnochio' layered over top. The irritating part is that Hideki is presented with three women...HUMAN women. Each and every one are appealing in their own right.

First off, there's his apartment manager. A very pretty woman, slightly traditional Japanese, but with a curious, hidden past. Think, say, Kasumi Tendo as an undercover spy. Now, She may not be for everyone, granted. But, you'd think that Hideki (who finds that 'Chii' is a very odd persocom, which requires, apparently, enough power to light up the fucking western hemisphere) when discovering that the manager of a modest little apartment building has a connection capable of SUPPLYING this kind of power, he'd be at least a BIT interested in plumbing her secrets. No such luck. Mysterious, Beautiful woman, interested, and all he has are a few dirty thoughts before going back to obsessing over a computer. Uh...right.

Next up? The cute, winsome, and let's not forget, high school aged co-worker at the bar Hideki gets a job at. Not only does she latch onto him, not only is she cute...but she has, by her own admission, big breasts. Hideki, an acknowledge pervert...seems not to care. WTF?

The Final woman is his teacher, at the prep school he attends. Not only is her marriage collapsing...not ONLY is she a smoking hottie...But she also gets stone drunk, strips to her underwear, and comes onto him. Suddenly, he's a gentleman. You know...I'm sorry, but this does NOT RING TRUE.

You know, for my money, despite all the idiotic bitching about Keichii never putting the wood to Belldandy...(Or, if you prefer technical terms, 'Poking her persimmon') His deference and sensitivity are far, FAR more explainable than this "He's a complete perv...But still, he'd prefer to boink a machine. (Translation: Men are afraid of REAL women, so they prefer to cling to fantasies) Subtle. Nice, CLAMP. You have a man haters award from the Rumiko Takahashi foundation in the mail. @_@

Chobits has it's good points. A visually excellent anime, but storywise, it is worth watching for TWO characters. Hideki, despite his flaws, is an ok sort. And Kotoko, a 'Mini-Persocom' is tiny and cute, but makes up for her small size with the sarcasm of TEN MEN. She is a sheer delight after 22+ episodes of the brain killing sugar that is Sumomo. If you're tremendously attatched to the 'Boy Meets Girlborg' genre, I highly recommend Hand Maid May. Far more lighthearted, and less inexplicably weird.

All in all, you might think my interpretation of the subtext is inappropiate and overly defensive. Feel free to tell me so, and I will respond in a thoughtful and timely manner.

But not right now. Yomiko's selected some Barry White, and dimmed her monitor, and I need to go 'insert a new RAM stick.' Rawr!

[Anastasia]

I've never seen Chobits, but this DID make me laugh as well as making me curious about watching it.

So! Good show.

[DB]

Eh, i don't  quite have that level of antipathy for it.  It's pretty obvious from the outset it's Chii/Hideki, with the other girls ending up with human lovers of their own.  Hideki pretty much is a big largely clueless lug, but he does tend to do the right thing. Not breaking any new ground to be sure, but not as tiring as some, say, h-game based anime.  Not deep by any means, but not terrible. I'd rate it a five. Decent enough to watch once, but not sure of its rewatchabilty factor.