What the forest taught me...

[Dracos]

Ah...  perhaps a poem that can get actual criticism ^_^!  This one I was pretty throughly dissatisfied with when I finished and still am not happy with months later.  As one can guess it was done to the tune of "What the forest taught me..." and I attempted (and failed in my mind) to capture both the relaxing rhythm of the song plus the metaphorical images of the forest of seasons in which it plays.  Namingly problems with the piece stand that the formatting is far from my usual good work, while the effect of the reading beat seems to be rather off.  Oh well... now that ye know what's wrong in my critical eyes...

(begin poem)
What the forest taught me- by Dracos
Done to the tune "What the forest taught me" (Secret of Mana OST, Squaresoft)

Dancing in the forest, one laughs and plays...
Knowing only...
What the forest taught me...

Swimming down the streams... so cold... so swift...
Leaping through the frost bit trees... a song of winter...
What the forest taught me...

The autumn winds blow cold... the leaves brown and red...
the owl cries and the rabbits dance... a song of fall...
What the forest taught me...

The summer heat burns the green leaves... sun shining bright
Within the bushes.. the bugs thrive... A song of summer...
What the forest taught me...

Birds nesting in the flowering trees... a note of life reborn...
Pink flowers take root... A song of spring...
What the forest taught me...

Return unto the winter... a cycle re-sung...
leaping among the trees... dancing in the sun...
Knowing only...
What the forest taught me.

(end poem)

Fearless Leader
Edit: Damn word formatting

[Kaneda]

blink* blink* .... weird yet philosophical at the same time. heh heh better than anything i've written.^_^