The Manic Hate Ball....

[Halbarad]

19:06 <@Yukari-sama> Hatbot never has your best interests at heart.
19:07 <@FujiOhki> Hatbot, are you secretly out to get us?
19:07 <+Hatbot> I can answer that, FujiOhki, but are you sure you really want to know?
19:07 < Pax_Empyrean> ... yeah.
19:07 <@FujiOhki> ...are you _openly_ out to get us, Hatbot?
19:07 <+Hatbot> I don't think you want to know, FujiOhki.
19:07 <@FujiOhki> o_o
19:07  * Pax_Empyrean hides.

[Brian]

Ko entrusts his activity of choice to a roll of the dice:

<@Kotono> Hatbot: Proposal writeup or PrC review or posting or epic savant or epic loremaster or something else?
<+Hatbot> I'd go with PrC review, Kotono.
<@Kotono> Hatbot: Proposal writeup or PrC review or epic savant or epic loremaster or something else?
<+Hatbot> I'd go with epic loremaster, Kotono.
<@Kotono> Hatbot: Proposal writeup or PrC review or epic savant or something else?
<+Hatbot> I'd choose Proposal writeup, Kotono.
<@Kotono> Hatbot: PrC review or epic savant or something else?
<+Hatbot> I'd go with epic savant, Kotono.
<@Kotono> Hatbot: PrC review or something else?
<+Hatbot> I'll pick something else, Kotono.

[Brian]

<@FujiOhki> Hatbot: K:BDH, PM, or jump into an industrial fan?
<+Hatbot> Go for jump into an industrial fan, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> I knew you'd pick that option.
* @FujiOhki kicks an industrial fan at Hatbot.
<@FujiOhki> Yukaribot: K:BDH, PM, or abuse a bot?
<@Yukari-sama> I'll pick abuse a bot, FujiOhki.
* @FujiOhki stabs Hatbot.
* +Hatbot looks down at the knife in its chest. "Ow."
<@FujiOhki> Huhuhu~!
<@Yukari-sama> After that, more PM.
* @FujiOhki glares at Hatbot.
* +Hatbot laughs right in FujiOhki's face!
* @FujiOhki whimpers.
<@FujiOhki> Cabbits: Not very intimidating.
* JonBob_work slaps Hatbot around a bit with a large trout
* +Hatbot feasts on grilled trout.
* JonBob_work slaps Hatbot around a bit with a HERRING!
<@FujiOhki> Hatbot, is your confidence up because that ZAX unit returned your calls?
<+Hatbot> Incredible. Absolutely stunning idea, FujiOhki. Unbelievably positive, incredibly unusual and brilliant. A must see idea. 10/10.
<@FujiOhki> You do realize that she used to be a Windows install, right Hatbot?
<+Hatbot> I think so, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> ...okay, wow.
<@FujiOhki> You are a sick bot, Hatbot.
<+Hatbot> I couldn't agree more, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.
<@FujiOhki> Hatbot, any final thoughts?
<+Hatbot> Yes, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> And ... what are they, Hatbot?
<+Hatbot> If I were you, FujiOhki, I'd start asking better questions. Things like, "Is there an afterlife?" along with "Will I be let in?"
<@FujiOhki> ._.

[alethiophile]

<@Yukari-sama> Hatbot, do you have an ice cream fetish?
<+Hatbot> I think so, Yukari-sama.
< alethiophile> Why is that, Hatbot?
<+Hatbot> That's what it says right here, alethiophile.
< alethiophile> That isn't an answer, Hatbot.
<+Hatbot> Sorry, I was humming the Jeopardy theme in my head. That was much more important than what you just said. What was it again?
< alethiophile> ...well played.

[Brian]

<@FujiOhki> Hatbot, do I actually want to jump through the hoops to use the certificates best buy sent me?
<+Hatbot> Very doubtful, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> So, you think it's a marketing ploy and I should drop it like a bad habit, Hatbot?
<+Hatbot> Yes, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> That's the best advice you've given me in a long time.

[Brian]

* Agasa takes out a chocolate tablet.
<Agasa> H-hatbot, i...i wanted to give these to-to-to you, if you don't...
<@Kuyou> Hatbot, are you ready to be Agasa's sempai?
<+Hatbot> Wait a second, I need to be drunker to answer that, Kuyou.
* Agasa gives the chocolate to Hatbot in a hurry, runs away blushing to the ears.
<@Kuyou> Are you going to accept that confession, Hatbot?
<+Hatbot> Sounds as good an idea as chugging turpentine with a match chaser, Kuyou.
<@Kuyou> :x
<alethiophile> Hatbot's being nasty today.
<Agasa> W-whaeee! ;_;
<alethiophile> ò_ó
<Agasa> Kuyou-senpai, Hatbot was so mean! ;_;
* @Kuyou stabs Hatbot.
* +Hatbot leaks oil.
<@Kuyou> Hatbot, apologize to Agasa.
<+Hatbot> Uh....huh.
* @Kuyou glares at Hatbot.
* +Hatbot cowers in the corner.
<@Kuyou> That's more like it.
<alethiophile> Hatbot, are you being evil?
<Agasa> [it helps you never saw my face. You can insert a cute kohai with pink hair and flowing twintails in your mental image.]
<@Kuyou> I envisioned it as a BL thing, with you being a shotacon.
<@Kuyou> I wish I hadn't.
<@Kuyou> But too much anime/manga puts the image there.
<Agasa> seriously, why the BL.
<@Kuyou> Because my mental image of you is 'guy'?
<@Kuyou> Admittedly, so is my image of Hatbot.
<+Hatbot> I'm sorry, I think my brain just hemorrhaged from that.
<@Kuyou> AS IT SHOULD.
<Agasa> MINE TOO.
<@Kuyou> Victory: Kuyou.

[Halbarad]

19:13 <@Yukari-sama> Hatbot: write, game, or read?
19:13 <+Hatbot> I'll pick write, Yukari-sama.
19:13 <@Yukari-sama> Hatbot, how much did Kuyou pay to you choose that?
19:13 <+Hatbot> A midget, Yukari-sama. It's that simple.
19:13 <@Yukari-sama> ...
19:14 < Ragnar> O_O
19:14 <@Yukari-sama> I didn't realize you accepted payment in dwarves, Hatbot.
19:14 <+Hatbot> You need air, Yukari-sama.
19:14 <@Yukari-sama> You know, I think I do.

[Brian]

<@Ko-Solitaire2Aiel0> Hatbot, why is my stomach upset?
<+Hatbot> Because an angel got its wings.

[Brian]

<@FujiOhki> Hatbot, do you dream of electric sheep?
<+Hatbot> I'd count on it, FujiOhki.
<@FujiOhki> Sick bastard.
<Muphrid> Hatbot, what do you dream of doing with those electric sheep?
<+Hatbot> A wheelchair, Muphrid. Or possibly Battletoads. Something sickeningly sappy like that.

[Brian]

< Ganthrinor> You were bound to get a favorable response eventually@
<@Yukari-sama> Not with Hatbot.
<+Hatbot> That's just wrong, Yukari-sama.

[Brian]

Doesn't actually involve the bot, but too big to fit in the quote thread:

< Pax_Empyrean> "Pick up the nearest book to you. Turn to page 45. The first sentence explains your love life."
< Pax_Empyrean> The closest book to me was the Pathfinder rulebook. The second closest was my D&D 4th edition player's handbook, which has sat unused beside my desk since I stashed it after concluding that 4th edition sucks. I think that's all the explaining that needs to be done, but I checked the first sentence of each as part of a comparative study of the love-lives of different types of gamers.
< Pax_Empyrean> Pathfinder: "You are a scholar and a sage of legends."
< Pax_Empyrean> D&D: "Halflings stand about 4 feet tall and weigh about 80 pounds."
< Pax_Empyrean> I always knew that 4th edition players are pervy hobbit-fanciers.
< alethiophile> Uh...
< alethiophile> "We invite your state to join with us to form a joint working group between the states to enumerate the abuses of authority by the federal government and to seek repeal of the assumption of powers and the imposed mandates."
* alethiophile has no idea what that says about him, other than "I keep random political pamphlets lying around on my desk".
< alethiophile> Other candidates include the Book of Mormon and "The Ecology of Commerce", the latter of which serves now not as an actual book per se but in more of a coaster's role.
< Pax_Empyrean> I suspect the humor of this is basically the same as adding "in bed" to the contents of your fortune cookie.
< Arakawa> "[project name] -- sort out remaining testcase fails"
< Arakawa> (the closest thing at hand is my todolist)
< Pax_Empyrean> That's still funny. :)
< Arakawa> Also accurate.
< alethiophile> Oh, heh heh.
< alethiophile> If I use The Cuckoo's Egg, I get "After a couple of minutes, the attacker left."
<@Kuyou> "The Scrum Master's top priority is removing impediments."

[Brian]

Putting this here because it almost made Drac laugh so hard he choked on his eggnog (though it's way too long):

<@Kuyou> Well, you didn't have to participate.
< KLSymph> -_-... Yes I do.
<@Kuyou> Well, at least you're getting paid, then.
< KLSymph> I'm making big no money.
<@Kuyou> So ... why exactly do you have to participate?
< KLSymph> BECAUSE I MAKE TERRIBLE LIFE DECISIONS.
< KLSymph> That's the reason for many such questions.
* Kuyou raises finger and opens mouth, considers addventure, lets finger drop and slumps, mouth closed.
<@Kuyou> Yeah, that you do. >_>
< KLSymph> Yep.