Borderline self parody tech support chat?

[Dracos]

So, I'm missing D&D this sunday.  Why?  My ac adaptor decided to die horribly and now only  emits strange beeps when it is plugged in.

So, being that I have a hefty warrenty deal with dell, I sought to get them to send me a replacement.

Things went stupidly.

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11/18/2006 08:39:29PM    URL Shown: "http://www.dellbatteryprogram.com/"
11/18/2006 08:42:48PM    Session Started with Agent (Deepa_0179463)
11/18/2006 08:42:54PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Support. My name is Deepa and my rep ID number is 79463. How may I help you today?"
11/18/2006 08:43:31PM    Dracos: "Hello Deepa. My AC adapter seems to have stopped functioning."
11/18/2006 08:43:51PM    Dracos: "When I tried unplugging it completely and plugging it all back in, it was making a slight beeping noise."
11/18/2006 08:43:59PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Thank you for the information. I'll be glad to assist you. Please give me 2 to 3 minutes to pull up your account information. In the meantime I would like to inform you that you might get an invitation to participate in a survey at the end of this session"
&nbsp   . You will be asked to rate our interaction on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being very satisfied. In order to participate in the survey, you must close the chat by selecting the "Exit" button.
11/18/2006 08:44:19PM    Dracos: "Understood."
11/18/2006 08:44:23PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Also, may I have your telephone number, along with the area code to update our records?"
11/18/2006 08:45:03PM    Dracos: "Current Cell number is Phone removed. Should already be in records as my last tech support issue was handled over the phone."
11/18/2006 08:45:42PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Thank you for your time, my records show that you have an XPS M170 with WINXP MCE 2005 as the operating system. Is this the computer/system you need assistance with?"
11/18/2006 08:46:04PM    Dracos: "Yes."
11/18/2006 08:46:20PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Thank you for confirming , Dracos"
11/18/2006 08:46:24PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Since , When are you experiencing this issue ?"
11/18/2006 08:46:40PM    Dracos: "Tonight, as of about 20 minutes ago."
11/18/2006 08:47:03PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Do you see a green light on the ac adapter ?"
11/18/2006 08:47:57PM    Dracos: "No. The green light has not been turning on when it was plugged in."
11/18/2006 08:48:54PM    Dracos: "It was also making a soft beeping noise when it was plugged in."
11/18/2006 08:49:44PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Have you made any hardware or software changes to the system?"
11/18/2006 08:50:18PM    Dracos: "Not within the last week."
11/18/2006 08:50:23PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Ok"
11/18/2006 08:50:45PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Dracos , Are you able to power up the system with the battery alone"
11/18/2006 08:50:47PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "?"
11/18/2006 08:51:53PM    Dracos: "Yes. I am on the system at the moment as it is my only computer I currently have access to."
11/18/2006 08:52:29PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Ok ."
11/18/2006 08:52:53PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Disconnect the ac adapter from the system and connect it to a different wall jack"
11/18/2006 08:53:11PM    Dracos: "Tried such. Same thing occurred."
11/18/2006 08:54:23PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "I mean just the ac adapter connected to the different wall jack"
11/18/2006 08:55:05PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Do you see a light on the ac adapter ? when it is connected to a different wall jack without connected to the computer ?"
11/18/2006 08:56:13PM    Dracos: "No. When it is connected to power in any of the nearby wall jacks the green indicator light does not light up and it simply beeps continually."
11/18/2006 08:56:31PM    Dracos: "It is not connected to the machine."
11/18/2006 08:57:02PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Ok"
11/18/2006 08:59:29PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Do you have any different adapter with you ?"
11/18/2006 09:00:14PM    Dracos: "No."
11/18/2006 09:00:31PM    Dracos: "I have only the adapter that came with the machine."
11/18/2006 09:01:59PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Dracos , Please check if the ac adapter port on the motherboard is fine ."
11/18/2006 09:02:15PM    Dracos: "How?"
11/18/2006 09:02:37PM    Dracos: "I have no other working adapters for it and the adapter appears to be giving a problem without being plugged in."
11/18/2006 09:02:54PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Look at ac adapter port at the back of the laptop"
11/18/2006 09:04:09PM    Dracos: "It appears in its normal working order."
11/18/2006 09:04:27PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Ok"
11/18/2006 09:06:12PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Are you able to power with the system with ac adapter ?"
11/18/2006 09:06:35PM    Dracos: "No."
11/18/2006 09:07:15PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "In this case I will go ahead and replace the ac adapter"
11/18/2006 09:07:37PM    Dracos: "Thank you."
11/18/2006 09:09:24PM    Dracos: "Do you need to double check my address or anything else? When can I hope to see a replacement arrive?"
11/18/2006 09:10:23PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "May I have your address please ?"
11/18/2006 09:10:40PM    Dracos: Address removed
11/18/2006 09:11:26PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "May I have your original shipping address please ?"
11/18/2006 09:11:28PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "."
11/18/2006 09:11:58PM    Dracos: Address removed
11/18/2006 09:12:26PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Thank you so much"
11/18/2006 09:12:51PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Dracos , Would you please give me cell phone number and land line # ?"
11/18/2006 09:14:14PM    Dracos: "Phone removed. I do not have a land line."
11/18/2006 09:16:37PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Dracos , Please check if you have office XP CD and MCAFEE 7.0, CD with you ?"
11/18/2006 09:18:16PM    Dracos: "On hand, I do not. It's at my charlottesville home at the moment."
11/18/2006 09:21:41PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Because , I see that it was sent along with the computer , So do you remember those CD along with the system ?"
11/18/2006 09:24:07PM    Dracos: "Yes. As I said, my backup/install cds that came with the machine are at my charlottesville home at the moment."
11/18/2006 09:24:57PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Ok"
11/18/2006 09:25:43PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "I was just checking if you have receive the CDs , Dracos"
11/18/2006 09:26:45PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "However If you have not received the reinstallation CDs then you can click on link below and fill up the form to install the reinstallation CDs only ."
11/18/2006 09:26:48PM    Dracos: "Um...okay. More importantly, is there anything else needed with regards to getting a replacement part for the ac adapter?"
11/18/2006 09:28:03PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Please check if there any other parts to be replaced ?"
11/18/2006 09:28:35PM    Dracos: "As far as I am aware, that is the only malfunctioning piece of equipment."
11/18/2006 09:29:00PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Please check if the keyboard , bottom plastics , rubber plastics , screws are intact ?"
11/18/2006 09:29:46PM    Dracos: "Some of the bottom rubber plastics have come off."
11/18/2006 09:31:02PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Then I will send them too"
11/18/2006 09:32:42PM    Dracos: "Okay"
11/18/2006 09:32:46PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "It'll take me 4 minute's to create the dispatch"
11/18/2006 09:33:14PM    Dracos: "Okay. When can I expect it in?"
11/18/2006 09:36:10PM    Agent (Deepa_0179463): "Thank you for your time"
11/18/2006 09:37:29PM    Dracos: "Understood."


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At this point, about an hour in and quite annoyed, convinced that they were done with their stupidity, I exited and started filling out a fairly negative survey.  Pretty much at this point my battery was mostly drained from an hour of dicking around with them.

Was it done with?  Not quite!  They decided they hadn't wasted enough time and proceeded to call me up to let me know I hadn't received my dispatch and case numbers.  To rectify this, they recited them over the phone to me!  Joy.  Why couldn't they just  email it to me to the same place they emailed this log?

Well, no reason really, because shortly after they finished and I hung up, they emailed it to me anyway!

Way to go for making someone spend as much time as possible to get a support order filled!

Dracos
mrgh.

[Zenthor]

...This is a joke, right?

"Do you have the Windows XP and McAffe CDs that came with the machine?"
"Not with me, but I have them."
(4 minutes later) "I see that these CDs were shipped with the system.  You remember getting them."
"...Yes."
"Okay, because, if you don't have them, you can do this."

If this was over the phone?  Somewhat understandable.

This was over the intarnetz.  The fucker should be able to read up.

What mongoloid idiots do they have working there?

[Brian]

Outsourcing.  Your agent was mostly running things through a script with a hefty volume of copy-pasting.  Seems pretty obvious to me.

The burning question is: Inept and bumbling early AI?  Or inept-and-bumbling-seeming-for-not-really-knowing-your-language?

'cause, see....  I would forgive the computer.  But that rep would need to be punched a lot inna face.

[Dracos]

Given I was called after closing, I think it was an incompetent and bumbling person rather than AI.  They were obviously copy pasting from a script, but I didn't blame them for that (early on) since I know they're required to go through certain questions on any problem.

Dracos

[Brian]

Face-punching.  And FIRE.

[Ranma_007]

Out of all the tech supports that I have dealt with, Dell is the worst.

I've had so many negative dealings with them and upset clients that I don't recommend Dells to people now for that reason.

[Dracos]

They  used to be rather good but yeah, I take the same policy now.  This was entirely ridiculous and it's not the first ridiculous thing from them in the last year or so.

Dracos

[Zenthor]

I have a slightly different reason for not recommending a dell to anyone ever again, but I mostly agree.

What is that reason you say?

The computer I purchased from them two years ago?  The case is riveted shut.

Yes.  Riveted shut.  Meaning I can't clean out the dust that has surely accumulated inside it.

Yeah.  Fuck you, Dell.

[odin]

A little insight from an insider...

Dell has many outsourcers they work with... at last count, ten for CHWS (that's the consumer helpdesk for people like you).  It's possible you were talking to one of the agents working for my company in Chennai.

Having just returned from Chennai a couple months ago, let me point out the situation they're in.

Most agents are paid around 500$US/month.  This isn't enough to educate themselves in language or computing.  They need to rely on what we provide them with.  Our trainers are no better.

The chat agents are not supporting just you.  They're dealing with three issues simultaneously.  It's easy for them to forget what's going on, especially when they have a language barrier to contend with at the same time.

It's a very service-oriented culture.  They want to be extremely helpful but often don't know what someone from North America will consider helpful.  I was told a great story that sums this up by one of the very Americanized Indians I worked with in Chennai:

A big-wig from one of the companies we do tech support for was visiting and needed something faxed to his head office.  He asked one of the managers there if there was a fax machine he could use.  The manager said "I will take care of it for you," and took the document.  Hours later, the fax hasn't arrived and he asks after it to be told "I'll take care of it."  Hours later again, "I'll take care of it."  Finally, hours later, he finds out there isn't even a fax machine at the building and it has just been sitting on someone's desk who doesn't know what to do with it.

Lawnmowers are people with scissors.

There's a guy whose only job is to make sure the photocopier always has paper in it.

All in all, a very interesting country.  The best advice I got before going was "don't try to understand India.  Just go with the flow."

Now, for useful advice:

1.  If you want to get better service, use the phone.  They don't talk to multiple people at once over the phone, so they just have your issue.

2.  If you go with Dell, get a business-line machine.  Most business support for Dell (and other vendors) is out of North America, not India.  This way you're not dealing with huge culture and language differences on top of your tech support issue.

3.  If you want a consumer line, Gateway and Averatec are the only OEMs I know that have no support outside of North America.

-Dan