We hired the best

[Dracos]

Oh and he's a very good merc,
and he's a very good merc,
and he's a very good merc,
Which nobody can deeeny.


Happy birthday, Merc.

Dracos

[Sunhawk]

We raise up a glass this morning,
We raise up a glass this morning,
We raise up a glass this morning,
For Merc, we drink all day!

[Merc]

You only say you hired the best because you know you don't pay me a dime. Cheap bastard. =p

[Shuten]

Happy Birthday Houshi! ^^


Sincerely,
Shuten

[StormDragon]

*Pours beer on you*

Happy birthday!!

[Sunhawk]

We'll ply him with booze and hookers,
We'll ply him with booze and hookers,
We'll ply him with booze and hookers,
For he's a jolly good boy.
For he's a jolly good boy,
For he's a jolly good boy,
We'll ply him with booze and hoo-oo-kers...
For he's a jolly good boy!

[Zenthor]

There once was a man from Nantucket...

...Wait, that's not good.

Shirley Dimple was a chick,
Shirley Dimple liked some di...

...

...

I'm not very good at this, am I?

Happy birthday, cockfucker.

[Edward]

You only say you hired the best because you know you don't pay me a dime. Cheap bastard. =p

And worth every penny.  :p

Happy Birthday.

[Ragnar]

Happy birthday, you merciless Mercenary!

People with your birthday (Dec. 30):

39 - Roman Emperor Titus
1865 - Rudyard Kipling, British writer, Nobel Prize laureate
1884 - Hideki Tojo, Prime Minister of Japan
1904 - Dmitri Kabalevsky, Russian composer
1928 - Bo Diddley, American singer and musician
1961 - Sean Hannity, American talk radio host
1965 - Heidi Fleiss, American madam
1975 - Tiger Woods, American golfer

[Brian]

This missive is EYES ONLY, for ratings not to be viewed beneath ULTRA/MAGIC.  If you do not meet the requirements to view this message, report to your Memory Adjustment Officer immediately and advertise knowledge of MercMissive 123106(substroke)B.

Thank you for your compliance.

[decrypter active:]

Code Select Expand

You are to be deployed to a field of exercise for a training activity henceforth to be known as 'revelry'.  Be advised that you will recieve 10% down before the exercise -- the remainder will be paid ONLY upon successful completion of your objective.

In the event of your capture, the SoulRiders Corps will dissavow any knowledge of you or your assignment -- furthermore, this is a HIGH-RISK mission.  In keeping with official SoulRiders Corps practices, your video-game library will be held under threat of EMP to assure your cooperation.

Mission objectives:

Hang out with friends
Eat cake
Open presents

Optional objectives (which may include bonus/danger pay):

Drink
Drink lots
Drink too much
Drink 'til you have to be carried home
Watch other people drink while remaining sober so you can rifle through their pockets later

-Message ends-
And remember, have a happy birthday.