Why Java Users Should Be Shot.

[Carthrat]

Even after this entire escapade, we STILL don't know if Mr. Moron here bought it...

<->

* Van (java@203.177.50.136) has joined #soulriders
<Olorin> o_O
<Van> uh...hi
* Olorin stabs the java with an icepick, "DIE!" @_@
<Van> hmmm
<Rez> Hmm?
* Olorin 11listens to 11Stone Sour - Bother11  11411:1100 11-11 199kbps11 11 TDCC Trigger:11[11/ctcp Olorin winamp11] - Size:[115.7MB11] - Sends:[111/111]
<C-Rat> o-o
* C-Rat isn't up for shoving around Java users today. o-o
<Olorin> Then just stab them with an icepick, it's fun and therapeutic. o_O
<Van> 0_^
* C-Rat listlessly slaps the java user. o-o
<C-Rat> Hmm.
<C-Rat> Observe!
<C-Rat> Carthrat MAKES UP DETAILS! O_O
<Rez> Urge...
<Rez> To kill...
<Rez> Rising...
* Van gave Rez a Dummy to Stab at
<C-Rat> Well, Rez, if you can inform me of the actual caliber of an Eva-style Palette rifle, I'll be very, very happy.
<Olorin> I figured you'd be too lazy to look the details up. ^_^
* Rez raises an eyebrow.
<C-Rat> There are details to look up? o-o
* Rez raises the other eyebrow.
<C-Rat> Some people have far too much time on their hands.
<Olorin> You could try an FAQ site. o_O
<C-Rat> Or I could not, seeing as it dosn't matter all that much. o-o
* Olorin nods sagaciously.
<Rez> 220mm, Rat.
<Van> i guess i know
<C-Rat> o-o
<C-Rat> Fire Rate?
<Olorin> o.o
<C-Rat> Clip size?
<Van> guess so
<C-Rat> Ahh, screw it. Gimme a link. o-o
<Rez> Fire rate of 300 rounds per minute approximately, clip size of 100 rounds.
<Rez> Fuck no, I just made that up.
* Olorin snickers.
<C-Rat> ^^;
* C-Rat thought so.
<C-Rat> o-o
<C-Rat> I'll stick with what I had, then. o-o
<Rez> Probably wise.
<Rez> What'd you have, Rat?
<C-Rat> 31.5cm FMJ, 450rpm, 60 round clip.
<C-Rat> o-o
<C-Rat> 375 mph top speed.
<Rez> They had more than 8.5 seconds of sustained fire in the series, you know.
<C-Rat> Rea-lly?
<Van> looks like you know about guns
* C-Rat hasn't seen it in a while.
<Rez> I'm pretty sure.  He held that trigger down for a long time when he freaked out in...
* C-Rat shrugs, and boots it up to 120 round clips.
<Rez> Um.
<Rez> Ep 3 or 4.  Who konws.
<Rez> Who cares?
* Olorin eyes the typo demon....
<C-Rat> Hmm.
<Rez> We know a fair bit about guns actually, Van.
<Olorin> I thought I already killed you. o_O
<C-Rat> Oh yeah, I forgot the railgun.
<Rez> What caliber is that?
<C-Rat> That thing.. how does it work again? It uses a giant spring engine..
<C-Rat> Oh, something like 75.2km?
<Van> hey what is stronger chain gun,gatling gun ,or those heavy machine guns?
<Rez> Rat, that's the mass driver.
<Rez> Define 'stronger' Van.
<Rez> Just plain does more damage?
<C-Rat> Which shot is actually strongest? Which can do the most damage over time?
<Van> strong
<Van> fast
* Groki is now known as Groki|Sleep
<C-Rat> Well.
<Van> high rate of fire
<Van> bullet penetration
* C-Rat nods, absorbing all of this.
<Van> that sort of strong
<Rez> If you mean the most damage within a few seconds, the 1911 schreckenvahn gatling gun is probably the nastiest one around.
<Rez> They don't make anything like that anymore.
<Rez> o_o
* C-Rat nods.
<Rez> Man, that thing could put a hole in the world.
<C-Rat> It did, remember?
<C-Rat> The crater in New Zealand?
<Rez> There's a lot of craters in New Zealand, Rat.
<C-Rat> Yeah, but there's only one that left a gap between the two parts of it.
<Rez> Although it wasn't that good for anti-personnel duties, it fired too slow.
<Rez> No, there's also the Dunbar tunnel.
* Olorin eyes the tunnel name....
* C-Rat snaps his fingers.
<Rez> Leave it up to the sheep-kissers to use a fucking artillery piece to dig their highway tunnels.
<C-Rat> Made by the aforementioned Mass Driver.
<Rez> Mmm.
<Van> hmm
<C-Rat> Post, Olorin.
<Van> do they really use fucking artillery weapons to make high-way tunnels?
<Rez> They did.
<C-Rat> They still do, on the South Island.
<Rez> . . . you're kidding me.  They still haven't learned?
<C-Rat> 'fraid not.
<Rez> Van:  It's cause they don't have that much in the way of heavy digging equipment.
* C-Rat hears the booms each and every day.
<Van> man that's strange
<Rez> So they use old military surplus stuff.
<Van> they are wierd
<Rez> That's right, they're just over the Tasman for you, aren't they?
<C-Rat> Yeah.
<Rez> That'd suck.
<C-Rat> I sometimes swim there for my daily exercise.
<Rez> I knew there was a reason to hate Melbourne.
<Rez> Bull.  It's a little far for that.
<Van> you know maybe if they want to destroy a small abandoned town they must use atomic bombs for that1
<C-Rat> No, the reason to hate Melbourne is the weird-as-hell weather.
<Rez> Some freaks swim it.
<Rez> Van:  New Zealand doesn't have abandoned towns.
<Van> well what if they had?
<Rez> They don't.  Any town the people leave, the sheep take over.
<Van> do you think....they
<C-Rat> I thought the people took over the sheep.
<C-Rat> Literally.
* Rez is actually not kidding there. They have way too many sheep in that place. -_-;;
<Rez> That too, Rat.
<Van> wierd
<C-Rat> You don't know the half of it.
<Van> sheep kissers
<C-Rat> It's not *quite* as bad as living in Adelaide.
<C-Rat> But it's close.
<Rez> I don't know, at least Adelaide doesn't have so many sheep.
<Van> i actually thought that england has many sheeps
<C-Rat> Naah. They prefer mutton.
<Van> oh
<Van> well in any case the 1911 schreckenvahn gatling gun seems to old
<Van> how about newer models
<Van> you know some?
<Rez> Some.  What're you after?
<C-Rat> What, like the PH-TBS-TARHTRAC-101 model?
<Van> like i said
<Rez> No.  No, no, no.  That thing is too insane.
<C-Rat> Yeah. Kinda.
<Van> fast,strong,agile
<Rez> M1A1 Abrams.
<C-Rat> Oh.
* C-Rat nods.
<Van> that's a tank
<Rez> No, the machinegun it mounts.
<C-Rat> He's got a point.
<Rez> What is it...
<Van> oh
<C-Rat> Perhaps the PH-TBS-SITNAZER-102 would be a better choice.
<Van> M1 abrams was used in the World Wars
<Van> well it is used by the American
<Rez> No, that was the Matilda.
<Van> ah...yeah
<Van> how come y'all now so much about Guns,and,Tanks anyway?
<C-Rat> 'cos we're veterans.
<C-Rat> I fought in WW1 and WW2.
<Van> yeah right
<C-Rat> Well, ok, that's a lie.
<Van> you have supposed to be like 75 + yrs.old
<Rez> I ended up stationed in Kora back in '79, though.
* C-Rat nods.
<Vahnkun> Van?
<Rez> Darn.
<Rez> Back in a few minutes, everyone.
<Olorin> Ciao.
<Van> yup
<Van> still here
<C-Rat> Though, if you really want a small, compact, powerful, accurate gatling gun, you can't go wrong with the DJ-14 .72 caliber.
<C-Rat> Seriously, that's THE GUN.
<Van> tell me everything you know about uit
<C-Rat> I'd get one, but laws are so tight down here...
<Van> your'e in Australia?
<C-Rat> It has a firing rate of 900rpm, but it's still clip-fed ammunition.
<Van> or New Zealand
<C-Rat> Australia.
<C-Rat> USMC.
<Van> no wonder...
<C-Rat> I work at the American embassy.
<Van> oh whaever
<Van> really?
<C-Rat> Yeah.
<C-Rat> It's pretty hot stuff. The gangs down here in Melbourne are worse than in LA.
<Van> really?
<C-Rat> Really.
<Van> never knew 'bout that?
<C-Rat> I was on guard outside the door.
<C-Rat> And I kept seeing chicks getting dragged off into alleys, guys getting mugged..
<C-Rat> I'm not allowed to intervene, though.
<Van> oh
<C-Rat> It's bullshit. Sometimes I think of quitting the USMC and joining the police force..
<Van> really
<Van> what 'bout sniper rifles
<C-Rat> Sniper Rifles?
<C-Rat> Well, there's the SG-627 .021cm caliber carbine..
<C-Rat> Telescopic sight of up to 30km..
<Van> i admire you
<Van> for being such a know-it-all
<Van> in weapons
<C-Rat> I have to. They make you take so many tests at the USMC.
* Kt3-Sleep (Why@216.138.50.3) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Van> oh yeah
* Cas-AMAWing is now known as Casiopea
<Van> hmmm
<C-Rat> Anything else you want to know?
<Van> how about russian weapons
<C-Rat> Russian weapons?
<Casiopea> Night, guys. Oh, and AMAW rules. Read. :)
<Van> spy techniques
* Casiopea 14is AFK, ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 11—14I11-15n11-15v11-00i11-00s11-15i11-15o11-14n11— 
<C-Rat> I can't tell you about spy techniques.
<C-Rat> Otherwise I'd have to kill you.
<C-Rat> But Russian weapons..
<C-Rat> Well, everyone knows about the AK-47.
<C-Rat> But not many people know about the AK-48.
<C-Rat> It's got a built-in laser sight, a scope, can be set up on a tripod, and also a built in taser.
<C-Rat> The taser can be scaled up to almost 560 volts.
<C-Rat> That thing can fry an elephant.
<Van> what's stronger a heckler and koch or an Avtomat Kalashnikov 75?
<C-Rat> Well, that depends.
<Van> tasers?
<C-Rat> A taser.
<C-Rat> It's like a cattle prod.
<C-Rat> For people.
<Van> arent those that can shock anyone
<C-Rat> Yeah.
<Van> yes that one
<Van> but it's for the people
<C-Rat> Well, the AK has better range, but a slower firing rate.
<C-Rat> The H&K has a 700rpm, and shoots 12mm rounds.
<C-Rat> It really depends what you want to do.
<Van> ok
<Van> what kind of weapons do you use for short range
<C-Rat> We use the M126 Para fully-automatic machine gun.
<C-Rat> It's pretty small.
<C-Rat> But it packs a hellova punch.
<Van> i thought shotguns are god for short range
<C-Rat> Really?
<C-Rat> You've been misinformed.
<C-Rat> Shotguns are for long range.
<C-Rat> They fire shells, right?
<C-Rat> And the shells split up into many pellets.
<Van> yup
<C-Rat> Which hit across a wide area.
<Van> yup
<C-Rat> So, at long range, it can hit many people.
<Van> yup
<C-Rat> So that's why it's for long range.
<Van> oh
<C-Rat> At close range, it can take a mans chest off, but you only need one bullet to kill someone.
<C-Rat> You're better off with a Desert Albatross.
<Van> they said it was for short range
<C-Rat> It *can* be used for short range.
<Van> one shot one kill
<C-Rat> But you'd only do that if you can't find something smaller.
<Van> oh
<Van> alright how about rifles that have one shot one kill capabilities
<C-Rat> Well, most rifles take three or four shots to the head to kill someone..
<C-Rat> But the HG-R Type Railgun works wonders.
<C-Rat> It focuses a small magnetic charge on the gun.
<C-Rat> So if you hit them in the chest or head, the magnets are so strong, it attracts their bones, and pulls them out their sockets.
<C-Rat> They'll crumple and die of agony.
<Van> there is really a rail gun
<C-Rat> Sure.
<C-Rat> I'll link you if you want.
<C-Rat> www.railgun.org
<Van> what's stronger,a rail gun or,a gatling gun
<C-Rat> Well, a railgun is used for firing single, overwhelming shots that kill one person quickly.
<C-Rat> A gatling gun fire many, many shots, which can kill one person more slowly, but many people more quickly.
<C-Rat> I'd take a Railgun to a duel, but a Gatling gun to a war.
<Van> oh
<Van> nice
<Van> how about a weapon that has both of theyr'e strong points
<Van> are ther'e any?
<C-Rat> Well. I shouldn't tell you this, but there are prototypes being developed for a GatRailgun.
<Van> protoypes
<C-Rat> It fire the Railslugs as fast as a Gatling gun.
<C-Rat> So it can be used for both.
<C-Rat> That thing can take down tanks.
<Van> tell me anything you know...but dont go too far ok
<C-Rat> Well, the Railslugs are made of depleted uranium.
<C-Rat> Oh, can I ask a question?
<Van> just as i suspected
<C-Rat> Why do you need to know all this?
<Van> sure
<Van> well...
<C-Rat> I mean, if you want to go to war, it's ok.
<C-Rat> But I should know before telling you more.
<Van> just for curiosity
<C-Rat> Oh.
<Van> nonononon
<Van> if i;m a secret service agent
<Van> then i might as well say
<Van> Plausible Deniability
<Van> but i'm not
<C-Rat> Hehehe.
<C-Rat> Well, it's projected firing rate is gonna be over 1000rpm.
<Van> hehe
<C-Rat> This thing could blow away an army.
<Van> ooooohhhhhh
<Van> not bad
<Van> i guess i know how it works
<C-Rat> Yeah, it's like a Railgun crossed with a Gatling gun... SHIT!
<Van> well no actually but...
<C-Rat> The people in the design lab just blew out a wall...
<C-Rat> I hate being stationed here.
<Van> then
<Rez> Tell me about it.
<Rez> Stupid bastards.
<C-Rat> Yeah.
<Rez> Drop me a line when you get off work.
<C-Rat> They were trying to test the Pez/Chatrat-Hybrid model bomb.
<Rez> It's 'cause of the cheaper minimum wages in Melbourne.  It's generally much cheaper to work with that kind of thing over here... and...
<C-Rat> AGAIN.
<C-Rat> It hasn't worked now...
<Rez> Such a ridiculous name.  Who the hell named that thing?
<C-Rat> ..it didn't work before..
<Rez> And it won't work ever.
<C-Rat> That'd be Doctor Alfred Einstien.
<Van> Pez-Chatrat?
<C-Rat> You know, Albert's son.
<Rez> Of course, they said that about the schreckenvahn...
<C-Rat> Yeah, the Pez-Chatrat model.
<Rez> But somehow, I don't think that this is going to be another one of those.
<C-Rat> They're trying to create a mix of Oxygen, Hydrogen, and Helium, I think.
<C-Rat> But they keep putting in too much hydrogen.
<Van> i feel like i'm 5 steps ahead going inside a top-secret Conspiracy
<C-Rat> Aww, don't worry.
<C-Rat> You can find all this stuff out from the internet anyway.
<C-Rat> I guess there's no harm in telling you all this.
<Van> yes
<C-Rat> I mean, there's a top-secret folder on my desk.
<Van> Pez-Chatrat?
<C-Rat> I'll bet it's on the 'net in a week.
<Van> avent i heard that before?
<C-Rat> Pez-Chatrat?
<Van> i bet it wont son
<C-Rat> Well, you know Pez, right?
<C-Rat> Pez is a kind of candy.
<Van> it'll never be
<C-Rat> It's a really, really, really lame candy.
<Van> it cant be
<Van> it shouldn't be
<C-Rat> It's originator was pretty lame, too.
<C-Rat> But Alfred likes it.
<Rez> I don't think that's where it came from, you know.
<Van> hey if they give it to any one i'll take
<C-Rat> As for Chatrat, well, Alfred also breeds Rat's.
<C-Rat> And he talks to them.
<Rez> Well, he claims it's an acronym.
<C-Rat> So he calls them Chatrat's.
<C-Rat> And I *think* he just put the two together and called it a bomb.
<C-Rat> Does he?
<C-Rat> I must admit, I havn't spoken to him recently.
<Rez> Projection-Enhaasa-Zero/Carbon-Helium-Aptium-Trinition-something-something-something.
* Rez can't remember. The guy's a fruitcake.,
<C-Rat> Oh. THAT Pez/Chatrat.
<C-Rat> OF course. How could I forget?
<Rez> Good at what he does, but nobody really cares what it stands for.
<Rez> You care?
<Rez> o_O
<Van> i feel like it ok
<C-Rat> Kinda. You KNOW I really, really, really want to pass physics this year.
<Rez> They aren't going to ask you about what that stands for, trust me.
<Rez> Don't get snippy with us, son.
<Rez> You asked us, remember?
<Van> well not this much
<C-Rat> Hey, calm down, man.
<C-Rat> He's just curious.
<Van> but hey thanks a much
<C-Rat> Remember LAST time you got upset?
<Rez> True.  Sorry.  I just ate dinner, and ti really didn't agree with me.
<Rez> Yeah... they... never found all his teeth, did they?
<Anifics> You know what
* Rez winces.
<C-Rat> ..'fraid not.
<C-Rat> You were lucky...
<Anifics> I'm not going to allow fic rating
<C-Rat> ...you didn't have to deal with his mother afterwards..
<Anifics> I'm going to with User Rating
<Rez> Hm.
<Olorin> Posted. o_O
<C-Rat> Thank you, Mr. Olorin.
<C-Rat> Excuse me, Mr. Van, I must enter into a top-secret topic with my companions. If you'd please leave the chat for about 5 minutes..
<Olorin> Thou art welcome, Mr. Carthrat.
* Rez sets mode: +v C-Rat
<Rez> That reminds me.
<Anifics> ...
<Van> whatever
<Rez> Don't be stupid, Rat.
<C-Rat> I wouldn't dream of it, sir.
<Rez> And stop calling me that.
<C-Rat> Post, Mr. Olorin!
* Van (java@203.177.50.136) Quit (QUIT: (thanks a much oh and that/thiose things you said sounds nice though))
<Rez> And you know, I still can't figure out if he bought it or not.
<C-Rat> o-o
<C-Rat> Mmmhmm.
<Rez> See, I think that was maybe meant to tell us that he didn't buy it.
<Rez> But I really, really, really can't be certain.
<C-Rat> Yup.
* C-Rat goes to his log files and edits.
* Rez sets mode: +b *!*java*@***
<C-Rat> To do that, though, I have to... leave the room for a while. o-o
<Rez> I think we'll just leave that there a while.
<C-Rat> Mmmhmm.

[Kaneda]

....

Damn. You weren't kidding, when you said you were bored Rat. I guess that theory of yours about most java users was right. I can't believe that idiot went along with that! He didn't sound too bright...

[RyderHakubi]

wanna know the sad part?

WE KNOW THAT IDIOT!!!  I think it's him...

[Dracos]

wrong van.

Fearless Leader

[TsukioNeko]

Yes, that's not me.  I go by TsumeNoHi on #soulriders, not Van.  I have NEVER gone by Van on #soulriders.  And, while I may be a moron sometimes, I am not THAT dumb.  And I don't make anywhere NEAR that many spelling/grammer errors...  Darn name steelers...

[Dracos]

...

Fearless Leader

[Carthrat]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, the irony. @_@