[Haruhi][WAFF] Bridges

[Brian]

Still dealing with writer's block.  Thanks to Hal for the prompt on this one; a Tanabata fic I wish I had started earlier, to ensure it was properly polished before the actual date!

Oh, well. >_>;

This actually has the same secondary goal as Hot Air (as an apology), but....  Anyway, I hope it's enjoyable. :)

Edit: New version -- thanks to Pax for noting a typo.  Hopefully not too many in something this short!

[JonBob]

A nice bit of fluff. I like how her thoughts are, well, energetic even if it's all internal. It'd be kind of interesting to get a companion piece from Kyon's PoV, but it's not really needed.

Additional comments:

I could just make Kyon do the homework and studying he ought to, as well, if we can't do something special for today.

The "as well" feel a bit out of place.

Dreamy eyes and a stupid smile when Mikuru-chan's dressed up, that way he looks at Yuki, sometimes, which bothered me for a bit, until I realized he looks at his sister the same way when he thinks I'm not watching.

A bit of a run-on

[Brian]

A nice bit of fluff. I like how her thoughts are, well, energetic even if it's all internal. It'd be kind of interesting to get a companion piece from Kyon's PoV, but it's not really needed.

Hmm.  I think his part would be from the festival that evening, if I touched on that.

Additional comments:

I could just make Kyon do the homework and studying he ought to, as well, if we can't do something special for today.

The "as well" feel a bit out of place.

Dropped.

Dreamy eyes and a stupid smile when Mikuru-chan's dressed up, that way he looks at Yuki, sometimes, which bothered me for a bit, until I realized he looks at his sister the same way when he thinks I'm not watching.

A bit of a run-on

I'll split it into two sentences, then.

Sometimes it's not very hard.  He'll show dreamy eyes and a stupid smile when Mikuru-chan's dressed up.  He's got that way he looks at Yuki, sometimes -- which bothered me for a bit, until I realized he looks at his sister the same way when he thinks I'm not watching.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. :)

[thepanda]

"I already did that once," she answers dismissively

Went from first to third person

He got his homework out, but hasn't even started it yet. Typical, really....

'He's got' instead.

But how bad do things have to be to shake someone who shows at little as him?

as little as him

But just because that's going to happen means you should let yourself feel bad now, so much you can't enjoy the time we have left!

doesn't mean

[Brian]

Thanks for the catches, Panda.  The 'He got' is somewhat subjective, so I'll leave that in -- but I fixed the others.  Added a few tiny bits here and there while I was at it, too. :)