[Haruhi] In Your Dreams

[Halbarad]

It'll be a while. I have a blue-haired yandere that's waving a knife at me first.

[sarsaparilla]

Please find below my uncensored thoughts.

I don't know anything about Higurashi, which probably affects my impression.

The first section is in past tense, after that the story continues in present tense.

I still can't see where Kyon's decision to talk about the Melancholy incident comes from. He knows that it wasn't a dream, so the issue shouldn't even come to his mind when asked about dreams, that link only makes sense from Haruhi's POV. The given rationale does not appear convincing.

References to Greek and Roman mythology, wouldn't Kyon prefer Japanese mythology instead? Even then, I wonder whether Kyon would use the real name Heracles instead of its Roman derivative (as it isn't a Roman myth)?

Arriving at the vacation place, there are way too many new people for me. A personal problem, I can handle maybe one or two new persons at a time, anything beyond that becomes a blur. I can't get anything out of the middle part of the chapter.

Specific points related to lucid dreaming: waking up and closing eyes.

Waking up from a lucid dream is a completely different experience than waking up from a normal dream, and that is not properly presented. When in a lucid dream, you will usually get a short moment of warning when you are about to wake up, and during that time you'll experience a very peculiar, disorienting sensation as your internal body image has to adjust to the differences in posture between your dream and real body. If you don't have enough time for that, you'll have to readjust while already awake, and that's just as disorienting. Finding yourself in a sitting position by the end of the dream is extremely unlikely.

Closing your eyes in a lucid dream doesn't work for the exactly same reason why you can breathe with your mouth closed. Even if you managed to disconnect yourself from the visual stream, you'd most likely just wake up. However, looking elsewhere works. One of my standard tests is to open a book from a random place, read and remember some sentence from there, look away for a moment and then check whether the sentence is still there. Also, walking through walls is easiest when you turn your back against the wall and walk backward through it without looking.

And then, toward the end of the chapter, without any warning -- squick. Involuntary adjustment of mental processes? To me, that is the definition of mind rape, a violation of mental integrity and a fate worse than death.

By the way, how does Nagato know about it?

I got the shakes and want to scream.

[Brian]

Please find below my uncensored thoughts.

I don't know anything about Higurashi, which probably affects my impression.

You don't need to; those characters are mostly background.  The only important ones get the most attention -- the ... two that are within your threshold.

The first section is in past tense, after that the story continues in present tense.

Oops.  I'll fix that, then.

I still can't see where Kyon's decision to talk about the Melancholy incident comes from. He knows that it wasn't a dream, so the issue shouldn't even come to his mind when asked about dreams, that link only makes sense from Haruhi's POV. The given rationale does not appear convincing.

He sees it as an opportunity to test if she remembers.  I might have been a bit unclear about that; actually, the idea was Hal's. :p

References to Greek and Roman mythology, wouldn't Kyon prefer Japanese mythology instead? Even then, I wonder whether Kyon would use the real name Heracles instead of its Roman derivative (as it isn't a Roman myth)?

Ah, should be using the Greek ones specifically, but that was all from memory and hence jumbled.  And, in canon, Kyon refers to foreign mythology as much as others.  I'll fix them to the proper Greek names consistently.

I'm almost positive you'll stop reading here, so

Spoiler: ShowHide

this chapter was going to be Greek, next chapter Egyptian, culminating in a joke about the rosetta stone and understanding Haruhi (yeah, stupid, I know).

Arriving at the vacation place, there are way too many new people for me. A personal problem, I can handle maybe one or two new persons at a time, anything beyond that becomes a blur. I can't get anything out of the middle part of the chapter.

It's all a backdrop to show where Kyon is and showcase that he misses Haruhi; I wanted to give the cousins some character to avoid them being flat.  They're not that critical to the story, mostly flavor and a bonus for people who are familiar with Higurashi.  The important ones get more screen-time -- Matsuri, Yurie, and Rika.

A lucid dreamer's intense dissapointment with the representation of it by someone who remembers dreams incredibly rarely.

Uh ... that's....  Okay, fine.  I'll try and adjust to that.  A bit of work, but hopefully I can manage to not offend genuine lucid dreamers with my presentation.

And then, toward the end of the chapter, without any warning -- squick. Involuntary adjustment of mental processes? To me, that is the definition of mind rape, a violation of mental integrity and a fate worse than death.

*twitch*

I can't write anything without it squicking you, huh?

Sars, I hate to do this, but--  Do you actually have an issue with me?  If so, that's fine.  I can accept that.

Just don't read anything I write; I am prepared to accept that.  In the meantime, I'm going to assume everything I write horrifies and disturbs you at this point, since the most innocent attempt to try and say, "Haruhi's giving Kyon a boost in learning something difficult for normal people" is going to lead to:

I got the shakes and want to scream.

Sorry; taking this personally since it's, what, instance number four?  Five?

Not going to bother trying to defend the story or explain that you're reading something into it that's not there--  Just giving up and backing away because I'm really, really, tired of every discussion ending with you being horrifically squicked/screaming/crying -- maybe it's unintentional, but you're making me feel like a real jerk since this is your reaction to absolutely everything I write now.  Absolutely, you're making me hate myself over a single innocuous, well-intentioned line of text.

Cripes.

Excised the damn thing -- that entire scene is gone.  Now Kyon just has miracle lucid-dream-learning abilities and the scene that was supposed to show Kyon missing Haruhi and hoping she would call is entirely axed.

just can't %@$&ing win

By the way, how does Nagato know about it?

I can't imagine you actually care at this point, but through TFEI magic.  *gives up*

That scene was removed to satisfy you anyway--

That being said, I honestly believe that anything I try and write is going to end up doing this to you.  As much as I value your feedback, I really, really can't handle you being crushed/squicked at every little innocent thing.  It's an awful lot for me, and I think you will be much, much happier by not forcing yourself to read things that evidently are so disturbing and horrifying to you.  Certainly, I'll be happy without thinking, "Well, another day to post a story to SR and see how I unintentionally hurt Sarsaparilla this time!"

Thanks for the feedback; I'm crushed to have yet again, upset you.  Please stop hurting yourself like this.  My stories can't be worth it.

[Halbarad]

I still can't see where Kyon's decision to talk about the Melancholy incident comes from. He knows that it wasn't a dream, so the issue shouldn't even come to his mind when asked about dreams, that link only makes sense from Haruhi's POV. The given rationale does not appear convincing.

He sees it as an opportunity to test if she remembers.  I might have been a bit unclear about that; actually, the idea was Hal's. :p

Since it was my idea there, I'll clarify a bit. The idea I had was that since Kyon rarely if ever remembers his dreams, this is one of the few things he could actually use for talking about a dream. Add in the fact that Haruhi really didn't say a lot about it at the time (just that she had a nightmare and she was wearing a ponytail), and that it's been nearly a year since it happened, he actually wondered to an extent whether she'd even remember it now.

[Brian]

Before I go to get some rest, a hopefully less squicky version of the chapter.

[sarsaparilla]

Sars, I hate to do this, but--  Do you actually have an issue with me?  If so, that's fine.  I can accept that.

No, I don't have any issues with you, but the passage in question doesn't leave any room for interpretation. If somebody's inside me without permission, then it doesn't matter what they do in there, it's still a rape. There's nothing innocent in violating mental integrity, I'd rather have my body violated six ways to Sunday than let somebody alter my mind, the actual core of myself, without permission.

As a simile, it's like somebody breaking in your home without permission and making changes, it permanently defiles the place.

In such a situation, I'd probably kill myself as fast as I could, while still in control of my faculties.

Considering this whole situation, I don't know what would be an acceptable solution. I see things the way I see them, and that cannot be changed. If you don't want me to tell about things that disturb me, then I can comply with that, though I may become unable to give any feedback.

[Brian]

In such a situation, I'd probably kill myself as fast as I could, while still in control of my faculties.

Wow, I didn't think you could make me feel any lower.  Nope--  There's my threshold, all of my emotions just shut off.

Considering this whole situation, I don't know what would be an acceptable solution. I see things the way I see them, and that cannot be changed. If you don't want me to tell about things that disturb me, then I can comply with that, though I may become unable to give any feedback.

Apologies if you've been upset by my responses.  While my general suggestion is that you should avoid hurting yourself, if you still want to comment, the most constructive means I can think of would be to not just say something squicks you, but to try and analyze the intent.

If this is beyond you, I'm totally open to reading, "This squicked me; what did you mean to do?"  And then I could answer--  My design being that you would look at the intent and then be able to propose a solution that does not squick you.  A happy compromise, if such is possible.

In short, the goal would be:

Brian: "Haruhi rewires Kyon to be able to learn LD faster than a normal human would be able to."
Sarsaparilla: *squicked*  "'Rewiring' is a violation; that disturbs me.  What is your goal here?  Can't see it through all the mind-rape."
Brian: "Suggestions for how else Haruhi can help Kyon learn LD faster than normal, to properly lampshade the effect that do not squick you?"
Sarsaparilla: "Instead of rewiring, how about optimizing environmental factors?  Maybe the sound of rain+other cues in the area help him out without invading his mind."
Brian: "Fascinating.  I can work with that.  Do you have further suggestions or recomendations for sites that I could read that would clarify this to me?"

Instead of:

Brian: "Haruhi helps Kyon learn lucid dreaming, and Yuki explicitly states it will have no bearing on his personality/freedom of thought."
Sarsaparilla: "SO SQUICKED!"
Brian: "And now I hate myself.  Again."  *sulks for a week*

One feels more productive than the other.

I should say that while I'm in this detached state, I recognize my inability to feel empathy (or anything else).  I don't intend it to be rude or dismissive; this is my absolutely coldly logical attempt at a compromise that will help us both and also continue to serve the story.  I am not certain, but I believe this system of perception-checking could actually assist other people reading other works, as in retrospect, I have done the same in the past.

[sarsaparilla]

Suggestions for how else Haruhi can help Kyon learn LD faster than normal, to properly lampshade the effect that do not squick you?

A fair approach.

Lucid dreaming is all about motivation. You see dreams every night, even if you don't remember them afterwards. Turning them lucid requires quite a lot of extra effort, just like it takes much more effort to write a story than to read one. Hence, a person like Kyon who is naturally reluctant to work more than absolutely necessary will have a very hard time achieving lucidity, just because he's not certain that the rewards are worth the effort.

The point of the exercises mentioned in guide books is just to help one build that motivation through repetition of simple tasks, but as long as the person doesn't have a strong interest in achieving lucidity, it won't happen. Poking around in Kyon's brain will not help the basic issue, without turning him into a different person (as lucid dreaming is a mental state, not magic).

So, what can be used, then? Anything that gives Kyon a strong motivation to succeed with the task. That can even happen while inside a dream, some people have found lucidity when confronted by a threatening situation in a dream, then realizing the fact and subverting the threat by taking control of the dream. In the end it doesn't matter what it is as long as Kyon really, really wants to succeed.

[Brian]

I will note that for later, when I start the next revision.  One component of this idea was that Haruhi in some way 'helps' Kyon (beyond simply giving him the book/instructions).  Are there any openings for this to happen that do not come across as a violation?

As planned, Haruhi actually meeting him in dreams should not happen until after Kyon at least starts to grasp the basics and is able to control his dreams (or the joke there falls short -- to say nothing of disrupting Hal's chapter).

It would help narrative flow to also salvage the scene where Kyon hopes that Haruhi's calling him, and it's actually Yuki.

Those factors basically equate into wondering if it is possible to have Haruhi 'help' Kyon in a way that's not a violation, and Yuki also has a chance to observe (and hence call Kyon about it later).  I can devise scenes involving nightmares etc. -- other things that might motivate Kyon.  It would be counter to the goal of the story if it casts Haruhi in a negative/invasive light, however, so while I have some ideas, I must ask for additional guidance to ensure that this is on a path that is in keeping with our original plans and also not squicky to you.  It seems to be a very delicate area.

[sarsaparilla]

From the top of my head ... a personal message from Haruhi to Kyon written directly somewhere in the book (or on a separate note between the pages) that makes Kyon realize that it's not just some random task that Haruhi dropped on him to keep him busy, combined with Kyon genuinely missing her, to give him motivation to succeed?

Nagato observing the mental processes of Kyon from across the country sounds implausible to me; that would kind of negate the need to have alien interfaces at North High in the first place. I would try to find an angle where Nagato is observing Haruhi's attempts to establish connection with Kyon and ask/tell him something about that.

On the whole, there should probably be more instances of Kyon doing the exercises during the normal events of the day, to show that he's motivated and working on it.

[Arakawa]

Kinda late for this (two word explanation: kinda hoping to sit out this round of forum drama), but a very small bit of C&C for Brian nevertheless...

It's not like Haruhi hasn't shown increasing maturity as time has gone on -- really, I have to confess that my greater annoyance is that I finally established a plan for a Brigade activity that wasn't crazy, only to find out I couldn't even participate. It's fairly rare when my ideas provide much for the Brigade, but not even being there to see the results?

There's... something just a bit off about that one, stylistically. It's in no way necessary to reword, but it seems to me like "established a plan for" and "provide much for the Brigade" might be reworded to use some different words.

I can sort of put my finger on one interesting possibility for what Tsuruya-san was about to say in her scene, but not quite. Curious to see if my guess is going to be correct. (It probably won't, it's already established that I have a talent for reading things out of other people's stuff that they never intended.)

Considering the annoyance of our transfers....

I assume that refers to transferring from train to train (to bus)? Anyhow, it could be clarified along the lines of "annoyance of having to {transfer / transfer to a different train / change trains} every so often" / "annoyance of having to transfer every so often, dragging our luggage onto a different train"... (it just took me a second to parse your original version which just said 'transfers', making me pause and have to think 'what transfers?').

Note: my rewordings are quite possibly rubbish. I'm throwing out five of them at a time in an attempt to be constructive, while still making it clear that I'm not actually insisting you do anything with my comment if you don't want to.

Being aware of it being a dream while I'm in it -- I'm so stunned by my success that I exclaim, "I did it!" just like an ancient Grecian philosopher leaping naked from his bath in realization.

I'm as humiliated as I suspect he should have been to then almost immediately find myself tangled in my bedding, feeling an odd sense of almost complete disorientation, my limbs feeling out of place from where I feel they should have been. By the time I manage to get things sorted out and fumble my way to a sitting position, I see Aunt Mion peering around the door frame in consternation.

Yet another dissection to the waking-up process, based on some personal experience (I've spent more time typing all of the thoughts after this point than I have editing them, so feel free to glean whatever you find useful/interesting/suitable and completely ignore the rest):

• Stunned by his success, Kyon makes some sudden movement...
• ... then suddenly finds that he's moving his actual hand. (This is extremely confusing, as for a brief moment he is going to be aware of both his dream body and his actual body, in different positions, subject to different directions of gravity.)
• The moment he pays attention to his actual body, having no experience with this situation (the proper thing to do: pay attention to the dream body and go back into the dream!), the entire dream fades away and he finds himself awake in bed. When this happens to me, I'm finished waking by the time I've moved my hand more than there inches. But Kyon could easily have extremely mild sleepwalker tendencies (not saying he's actually a sleepwalker; as far as I remember there's a sort of gradual spectrum of physiologies, with people who actually sleepwalk on one extreme, and people who frequently experience sleep-paralysis on the other, and I'm firmly on the sleep paralysis end of the spectrum; so there's absolutely no reason Kyon couldn't be much closer to the other end). Thus Kyon winds up sitting up in his bed before he's fully oriented.

Oddly, in contradiction to what other people have said, I have no problem closing my eyes in a dream and then opening them again. (Although, that said, the five -- six if you count balance -- senses aren't the only way to perceive something in a dream; sometimes three-dimensional awareness of whatever I'm looking at is still present, sometimes not, but it's always very obvious that my eyes are closed and I'm not actually seeing anything.) Probably this is because I have a large amount of mostly non-lucid (strangely enough) dreams where I'm able to arbitrarily make anything I want appear, by closing my eyes tight, wishing for it, and then opening my eyes. I just don't realize that I'm dreaming while I do this stuff.

Another point I'd note (that I seem to be aware of, but not sufficiently to master it) is how you cause things to happen in a lucid dream. The dream is (I can only assume) happening in the same part of my brain that is used for mental imagery when I'm awake. Thus the proper way by which things appear in my dream is simply by picturing the modified situation (exactly the way you would picture a table if I asked you to picture a table) to the extent that the picture replaces whatever I was dreaming about previously. Making an effort to actually change one thing into another never works for me because the process of changing involves picturing the initial state of the thing, then picturing it gradually changing, then the initial state comes to mind again, which causes the change to revert, then I get frustrated and lose lucidity...

Regarding the heightened realism of a lucid dream state, the one or two times I've actually been lucid enough to experience it... it's very odd. Essentially, the dream created an object which is exactly what I would expect such an object to look like. (And because you expect it to be incredibly detailed and realistic... well, you perceive it as incredibly detailed and realistic.) However, once I wake up and actually look around, it becomes obvious that my brain's memory of whatever I was looking at... well, it wasn't exactly inaccurate, but on some level it wasn't anything like my waking perception. The trope I would invoke to describe it is Reality is Unrealistic (i.e. to put it in other words, a lucid dream, if you allow it to, seems able to trigger your brain's what I'm looking at is real response far more intensely than waking life; conversely, a lucid or non-lucid dream could just as easily be perceived as low-fidelity and obviously just built of faded mental images of real experiences).

(This -- extremely personal -- view of mine is slightly at odds with Haruhi deciding that this Kyon is real because he did the maid costume trick. No problem, because there's another determining factor given how you've written the scene -- given her comments, Haruhi is apparently able to control the actions of those characters which are just figments of her imagination, but obviously unable to control Kyon.)

sarsaparilla may well disagree with my assessments.

As noted, I suck at lucid dreaming, and this is the perspective my comments above come from. This is just my personal experience with the matter, which may be somehow unusual/inaccurate/otherwise not useful, but I hope you find it interesting.

This is where I'd put a list of encouraging notes on what I liked about this chapter, but unfortunately I'd have to take sides in the whole "Kyon's mental processes were adjusted by Haruhi" thing. I liked this chapter, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next (even with the Hinamizawa stuff the pacing -- prior to Brian's hasty edit, see below -- works well at getting the plot to the point where things start to get really interesting), but I think you can understand why I want to carefully consider the issue before I can say something meaningful about it.

I would caution that, given the above discussion, it might be good to sort out what the rules are regarding how Kyon and Haruhi are able to affect each other's experience in the shared dream. (Fortunately, the whole "what sort of reality would the contents of a shared dream even possess?" issue strikes me as a very interesting and legitimate philosophical question worth raising in a story, rather than some minefield of squick potential.)

*sees sarsaparilla post a comment*

So, what can be used, then? Anything that gives Kyon a strong motivation to succeed with the task. That can even happen while inside a dream, some people have found lucidity when confronted by a threatening situation in a dream, then realizing the fact and subverting the threat by taking control of the dream. In the end it doesn't matter what it is as long as Kyon really, really wants to succeed.

Okay, so regarding this comment and Brian's pacing after the edit. Given what sars has said, I really can't see how Kyon would have trouble staying lucid once he knows Haruhi is there in the dream with him. I also see no problem with Kyon becoming lucid on his own, repeatedly, and then making some stupid mistake because he, as noted, isn't actually motivated enough to do anything in the dream. ("Okay... I'm lucid... this is weird... yeah, whatever, I don't really care all that much.") I can see how the final version of the chapter might become some complicated dance such as:

• Kyon dreams he's in Hinamizawa with Koizumi, becomes lucid, accidentally wakes up.
• Kyon goes back to sleep, dreams he's in the clubroom, becomes lucid again, creates tea for himself, gets bored (exactly like in the real-life clubroom) as he can't follow through with his excessively complex idea of causing Asahina to appear and can't think of anything else to try, loses lucidity and spends the rest of the night dreaming about some nonsense. (Happened to me dozens of times.) Maybe (not at all essential) Haruhi could even show up, start shouting at him that he's dreaming, but he isn't able to comprehend her (Haruhi could show up in some garbled fashion).
• Maybe some scene of waking-life stuff to get Kyon to the following night -- this paces things out a little with all the dreaming that's going on. (If we go with the "Haruhi contacted Kyon while he wasn't lucid", and you figure out a reasonable way for Haruhi to help Kyon, this would be the logical point for Haruhi's powers to activate.) EDIT: and given sars' second comment, this would probably be the point for Kyon to get serious about doing his exercises. Previously he might have been just mildly curious/slightly exasperated at his assignment.
• The next night, Kyon goes to sleep, becomes lucid in the clubroom again. Realizing he's dreaming, he doesn't try anything ambitious and just attempts the simple "rub your hands to stabilize the dream" stuff, and just as he's about to try creating the tea again... Haruhi bursts in, and as he realizes that Haruhi has been trying to get into his dream all along, he now has plenty of motivation to pay attention. (And there's that much more righteous justification in dressing Haruhi in the maid uniform since she's the one who interrupted him from making tea :-)

So, this is just one possible way to structure things, though. (One upside is that it ends the chapter in exactly the same state as the existing version.) In this outline, Kyon becomes lucid twice in one night... completely on his own (which is more-or-less plausible if he doesn't have any preconceived notion that he can't do it), and once the next night (possibly with some as-yet-undefined assistance from Haruhi; possibly due to the exercises he's been doing).

Anyhow, I hope you can mine the above feedback for a useful thought or two...

[Brian]

To Sarsaparilla:

Which exercises?

I only have the reality-check and recording his dreams included (which I do not see how he could work on through the day).  Please remember that you are an experienced lucid dreamer, and the rest of us do not have your experience/familiarity.  If you have ideas of things that Kyon can actually work on throughout the day, then they can be worked into the narrative while Kyon is watching over the children.

Regarding Haruhi leaving a note/Yuki commenting on Haruhi's behaviors, that's dependent on Hal's approval, since he's handling that half of the story.  I will ask him his thoughts.

I don't personally know that the idea of a note telling him to do it would genuinely motivate Kyon that much.  She told him in person, so it's difficult to see how she could have even more bearing.


Perhaps the obliquely referenced 'important files' on Kyon's phone will actually suffice for the final step.  I can portray him with mild interest, and then genuine motivation once he recovers it and checks that his images are still intact (a false reveal that it's actually not a copy of the Mikuru folder, but pictures of the brigade/Haruhi).  That would tie in with him recovering it from his cousins and hiding it from their reach, and also allow me to try and allude to his motivation without directly stating it (despite his denials in the final scene).

Arakawa: I will reply to your comments shortly.

[Arakawa]

I only have the reality-check and recording his dreams included (which I do not see how he could work on through the day).  Please remember that you are an experienced lucid dreamer, and the rest of us do not have your experience/familiarity.  If you have ideas of things that Kyon can actually work on throughout the day, then they can be worked into the narrative while Kyon is watching over the children.

Actually, you already have something in your chapter that ties into the lucid dreaming thing brilliantly:

My blank stare speaks volumes, so the woman clicks her tongue and clarifies, "Mindfulness in all things, Kyon-kun!"

I can't even begin to guess what that's supposed to mean. I suppose I'll have plenty of time to think about it, though.

"Mindfulness in all things," Aunt Rika reiterates. "When you get to Rena-chan's, after she and Yurie-chan have made you tea, be sure to ask for her for a real axe -- not that billhook she's always trying to use. That makes it easier to chop -- choki, choki!" she concludes, making a 'chopping' sound, either in excitement or to be cute.

It's slightly unconventional, but Kyon trying to just work on his mindfulness (and there's dozens of well-known exercises to do that) would quite plausibly help with the lucid dreaming aspect of things. Given that you don't specify which book he's reading (so it could easily be made out to contain similar advice), and you're free to take liberties with the specific details of the subject... well, I'd be tempted.

[sarsaparilla]

Which exercises?

I'm not an expert on that aspect in particular as I don't need anything like that, but I believe that the recommended way to approach lucid dreaming (past keeping a dream diary, whose purpose is again motivation, to make you pay attention to your dreams) is to take some particular reality check, like that 'closing mouth and breathing' (although I might choose another one), and then repeat it at regular intervals throughout the day. If you don't condition your mind to do that regularly during your waking hours, it certainly won't remember to do it while you're dreaming.

[sarsaparilla]

a lucid dream, if you allow it to, seems able to trigger your brain's what I'm looking at is real response far more intensely than waking life; conversely, a lucid or non-lucid dream could just as easily be perceived as low-fidelity and obviously just built of faded mental images of real experiences

The 'more real than reality' effect is something that I have noticed myself. However, there's more to it than just recycled real experiences. In a lucid dream I'm able to experience emotions and sensations that are permanently locked away from me while awake; thus, I don't have any real world experience on which to base those sensations, and they're still available, sometimes with intensity that gets close to sensory overload.

But on the whole, comparing your experiences with mine makes one thing clear -- lucid dreams reflect the mind of the dreamer, and the rules of one person don't apply to another. You find creating easier than transmutating, for me it's the opposite. You can close your eyes and not see anything; I can't, and trying to do that is one of my two most basic reality checks (the other is flying which I can always do in a dream just by stretching my arms on the sides like wings).