Dark Reflections

[DB]

"Dark Reflections' by SKJAM at

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/5990/deeprall.htm

Looking over 'Not Fair' reminded me of this little piece SKJM did back in the day(ie: the late 90's) . Fairly well written, but it suffers from 'Wish Inconsistancy', which plagues a lot of stories of this nature. Two people make the same wish (or in this case four), but the results vary for no reason other than, well, author bias. In original stories it's a bit different (usually a moralistic tale of some kind), in fanfiction, it's pretty obviously favortism to prove a point.

In this case all of the girls are wishing for things to make themselves happy (even if it's not stated outright, though Ukyou's is borderline with her 'sweet home' bit), however we're left with the implication that only Akane's 'selfless' wish (which isn't selfless at all) will achieve this goal, which by some sheer coincidence, happens to be the world she's living in now, so it'll come true and it's a happy ending for everyone (but not really since the other girls arleady wished for happiness but were denied it). Frankly, given the miserable way the other wishes turned out, if I was Akane I'd be scared shitless that I'm stuck in a world where this version of the Naniban mirror indicates that whatever dark fate is in store for me is now unavoidable.

I wouldn't call this piece bashing. It's a flawed genre cliche. I've always been a proponent of 'It's either a monkey's paw for everyone or it's not.' so obviously this rubs me wrong. Especiallly with the 'selfless wish' bit thrown in, which is nothing of the kind. Does anyone think after reading the story that when Akane wishes for 'everyone to be happy' she's thinking of Ranma marrying Asuza Shiratori while Akane ends up marrying Gosunkugi? At least SKJAM doesn't say it outright, so this fic has that saving grace.

For all of my above criticism, the fic itself isn't bad. The prose flows well, and I don't get the impression of bashing as much as higher power (the author) saying 'You girls not named Akane don't deserve Ranma, now run along and have happy lives with someone else' as opposed to 'You Girls must be punished for wanting Ranma, who belongs to Akane, now die. MUHAHA!'

Honestly, I think the story could have been redeemed quite easily by going a different route, one of Akane casting aside the piece of the mirror and saying she didn't need it to show her how she was going to end up happy; she was going to do the best job she could to make herself happy in the present. Instead it comes off as a standard tired cliche piece.

Using Rak's scale, this is probably a 3. (Don't know how to set up a poll) It suffers from a painful cliche, but is not venomous, which is typical of these types of fics. And as I said, this type of cliche is one that rubs me wrong, and why my reaction is so negative.

[edit: Poll added by moderator]

[Ragnar]

I am shamefully unfamiliar with both Rak's scale and the writing of many of the Soulriders denizens.

So, this would be a three out of...?

[Rakhal]

1-5, where 1 is worst and 5 is best

[Jason_Miao]

Since this is a review and not a striking new development, shouldn't this go into the "Fanfiction Review" forum topic?

Anyway, I remember reading this fic, and while I agree with what DB says about how the fic plays out, I'm not really sure what you could do to fix it.  DB's version seems a little preachy and OOC to me, given how mercurial Akane's emotions are for Ranma-related events.  If anything, Akane is someone who will use an item first, and think of possible consequences later (if what I remember of the super strength/whiskers chapter is correct, she may even actively resist dealing with such consequences.)  Having Akane make the same "selfish wish" that everyone else made would be more in line with her character...but then what?

Personally, I don't think there is a good way to close this fic, without being completely off the wall.  Perhaps have Akane do her thing, treat it like the rest, and Nodoka scowls, mutters that it would never have worked anyway, whips out her own mirror, and commands it to return her to her own time; however, that just my own brand of meta-story fluff, and I don't think that's the kind of fic SKJAM was aiming for at all.

[Brian]

Ranma and Happosai are FIGHTING over the NANBAN MIRROR.  It BREAKS and Nodoka GATHERS the pieces.

Nodoka: "I'll just randomly send chunks of this to Ranma's fiancees.  And hell, why not Kodachi, too?  I've got a book, so I know what I'm doing!"

Shampoo, Kodachi, Ukyou and Akane each recieve a piece of the MIRROR, and use it in turn to TRAVEL THROUGH TIME and see how their lives would work out if they were to marry Ranma.

Shampoo: "I can only marry him if every single other person he knows gets hit by a truck, and then my language skills manage to deteriorate."

Kodachi: "Well, I can only marry him if I flip out, kill anyone who causes trouble, and then kill Ranma, too."

Ukyou: "Damn.  I have to wait for Akane to die, and then ressurect her with myself in her body."

Akane: "I'm too selfless to ask the question that you did, so I'll ask if there's a way for everyone to be happy."

The MIRROR BREAKS.

Nodoka: "Aww ... that's too bad, Akane.  How about a little vague suggestion of inevitability?"

Akane: "I dunno...."

Author: "How about some painfully obvious bias in your favor?"

Akane: "Sounds like a plan!"

THE END

[Edward]

Brian-Ohki for the win. ^_^

I remember this fic and would call it bashing, though of a subtler and better written kind than most.  The only way the story made any sense to me, was that broken pieces of the mirror showed broken futures.

[Dracos]

Very nice review, DB. =D

Dracos

[Dracos]

Go, Brian.

=)

Dracos